Kazekari - Wind Borrowed
by Rain-kawa
Summary: Star-Crossed's Sequel- Salt Hiiro doesn't know what a Kazekage is, and Minawa Yumi will never be the able to guard again. Can Gaara help heal her broken soul? With a time of peace finally upon the ninja world, will the two star-crossed loves finally tie themselves together? Or will the council, death gods, devils, and life get in the way?
1. Chapter 1: An End Can Be a Beginning

**For everyone who doesn't want this to end** \- **WELCOME TO THE SEQUEL: Wind Borrowed!**

This sequel will continues the Star Crossed story. However, there will be some plot-line issues with Boruto as not enough of Boruto backgrounds are shown for me to figure out how to interlace with it smoothly. There's already some issues with ages and timelines but I'll try to iron those out as we go forward.

Now drum roll please - Annnnnndddddd Welcome to **Naruto Fanfiction - Wind Borrowed. **

**Rated M. Lemon. Lime. ****Language****. Violence. Some Gore... And now - Triggers. Angst. Depression. And whatever else might happen...**

Remember **\- **_[This is a feeling / glimpse of a memory one can't quite recall.] _It is not the same as actually remembering something nor is it something the conscious mind 100% understands...

**And yes - this is the epilogue of Star Crossed, exactly. This is because sometimes the ending of one story is truly the start of another.**

**Thank you and Enjoy. Hope you continue to stick with me! **

**\- Rain **

_"What if there is no death, only a change of worlds" - Chef Seattle_

**...**

* * *

...

A star shot across the sky, blazing as brightly as the late January full moon. As it did every day, the sun breached the horizon spreading warm colors across the dark sky. It crept upwards starting yet another day.

...

* * *

...

Only one eye opened. The other could not, something was covering it. Light blinded, the single pupil adjusted quickly. The barely conscious single-eye glazed without thought.

Where were they?

A room. An unknown room.

She was laying next to a window, the only source of light in this plain and small room. The walls were unpainted. The old bed close to the ground-

A natural rhythmic crashing sound brought her eye back to the window. A light teal sky warmed her vacant mind. The color drew her in completely – the first non-plain color, a sign of day. There was nothing in the sky but that light, pale teal-green-blue. Laying down, it was all she could see though she heard the waves continue.

The water crashing sound felt better than silence. It was almost a lullaby, one she must have been listening to while she slept. Salt in the air tingled her nose. Her tongue ventured across her dry lips, it immediately awoke her mouth. Licking the salt off her lips, she achingly began to worm her way up. Pain spider-weave itself on her flesh. White bandaged under the plain hospital-like-dress restricted her movements.

She was wrapped with white and dried blood-soaked bandages. The dirty white clothes unstuck themselves from each other, pealing up from the bed as if she hadn't moved ever before. Her left forearm all the way up to her shoulder were wrapped, limiting her arm. Her right hand was wrapped, hiding her fingers. Her stomach, hips, thigh, torso and neck all felt like they were all bandaged. Tentatively feeling the eye that could not open; half her face was also in a bandage. This was why she only had one eye…

But why? There was nothing in her head but this moment. Had she been hurt? Had she never moved before this? Did she not exist before?

Or had she died? Maybe this was death. Feeling nothing, she wasn't sure. She didn't feel alive, just empty.

Looking around the room, she realized she wasn't alone. A _thing_ sat perched on a tall rickety cabinet. Its gray soul-disturbing eyes stared at her. The black whip like tail almost curled under its chin, the blade like bone at the end of it curved like a long flat, slate-colored claw.

The creature blinked. Its bulbous face, the shape of a tulip head, held the monochromatic coloring of death. Two small holes on the front of its round egg-like face almost twitched, as if it was smelling. As if it was real.

Its head raised off its own tail. Coal skin, patched with scales and tiffs of hair, flexed turning its scales and hair into deadly looking spikes as it stretched. The size of a cat, it watched her.

"Did I die?" There was no recognition in her head for why she was here, this room, the water outside, or the salt in the air. The string-tied, easy open, gown she wore was not familiar. The bed she was laying in, foreign. And she certainly did not know what was crouched above her.

Death explained everything though. She had to be dead to feel as hollow as she felt.

"Et." The thing cocked its head. Razor sharp small claws with one long nail on each paw presented themselves as it shuffled its position a little more.

"Is this-" the other side? The second half of the question stilled in her sore throat.

The creature sat back a bit, peering at her, studying her.

"Do you know me?" She finally inquired. Nothing was in her head. Nothing was familiar. Empty as if everything was gone. All was _absent_.

"Et. Et. Et." The hard egg-shaped head cracked in jagged half to chirp in the back of its throat. The triangular pieces of its mouth looked neither like teeth nor lips, but they sent a deadly message.

Leaping off the cabinet, it clamored out the bedroom, somehow opening the door. Immediately a scream erupted followed by cursing. More chirps followed, a rukus of scratching, and then heavy footsteps heading her way.

The door flung open. Surprised face met surprised face, neither expecting the other.

"You are awake." The unfamiliar bearded but bald tan man spoke. He had been expecting to have to change the sleeping woman's bandages or bedpan again, but instead here the woman who had been unconscious for _months_ was sitting up staring at him.

"Is this awake?" She asked back.

Her head cocked to the side, her bandages tightened at the movement he had not anticipated. "Am I dead?"

Her scratchy voice held no emotion. Her unbandaged green eye unfocused briefly.

"No. That pet of yours brought you here around five months ago and gave us your money which we've used for your medical expenses and boarding. We asked around but no one knew you. I assume you are from pretty far away, traveling through here and were attacked on the road?"

"Oh."

"I am Matsuoka Shuzo. I am kind of like the doctor around here. My wife is downstairs and my two sons are at the bay. That creature of yours gave us quite the scare originally, still does." He crossed his muscular arms into a natural position for him as she just stared unresponsive at him. "I assume you are in some kind of trouble, Miss-?"

_Miss –_ Her mind waited for the rest of the sentence.

"Miss what's your name?"

A name. Her eye floated upwards, her mind searching. Name. Her name. A name. Any name? Wasn't she something? _Nothing._ Blinking, she tried to come up with something. But there was nothing.

Liking her lips, she tasted salt yet again. "I don't know."

"You don't remember your name?" Concern coated his tone in spades. His heavy foot steps entered the room.

Her head answered him immediately, shaking no.

"What do you remember?"

"Nothing."

He frowned. "It may return after you are a wake for a couple days. You were very injured. While your old scars were completely healed, these will take a week more before the bandages can come off."

The waves washed through the silence as she said nothing. Her one eye stayed on him, showing nothing.

Uncertain, he rubbed his bald head thinking. "Does anything _feel_ familiar to you at all?"

She shook her head 'no'. "I don't remember anything."

"Well for now, you can stay here. That beast of yours gave us enough coin for the next few months easily. Like I said with a little time you will most likely remember. If not- well- we can figure something out. There's a work shop that posts jobs for this town and all nearby, some come with housing."

Dumbly, she nodded her head.

"Would you like something to eat? I'll have my wife, Jun, bring you up a change of clothes too. I can check you out once you've eaten. My wife will help you change-" Concern and uncertainty mixed in his gaze.

Dumbly she nodded her head, again. She'd agree to whatever they needed her to. What did it matter? It was almost like she was not actually awake, like she was not actually alive sitting here. Blank, she felt like a void of space and air.

Pale teal sky distracted her while she waited for him to return. The creature sat at her feet with his back hunched high. Its blade tail was curled on its front paws. But she didn't like to keep her gaze on him who seemed to be intently staring at her. The light blue sky was better, it's sight comforting. Could it swallow her whole, hold her, encompass her, suffocate her, and drown her?

She couldn't actually be awake, alive. Were they really sure she wasn't dead?

"Knock, knock." The door spoke with an elderly woman's voice.

Staring at it, it spoke nothing more.

"I'm coming in." It spoke again before slowly opening. An elder woman carrying a bowl and cloth grinned the moment she saw her. "So you really are awake. I am very glad. We were worried you were too far gone."

Where would she go?

"I brought you broth that should be gentle on your stomach. We'll see how you do with it and go from there." The woman's cheeks uplifted as her rouge lips curled into a kind smile.

But it was like someone else was receiving that warmth for she, sitting daftly in the small bed, felt _nothing_. Her uncovered eye wandered to look behind her, just to check to see if there was someone or something there that was actually receiving the woman's attention. Only the pale teal sky met her, not a cloud, a bird, a shadow - not even the sun... The briefest sense of peace and last breath slowly drifted out of her, and then she inhaled again. That momentary comfort unsettled into the mind-numbing void that existed within her.

"Here, eat." The woman had moved to directly beside her. Her kind smile continuing as if she was happy. The bowl of transparent brown broth was held perfectly steady out to her, as if it was being cared for. Resigning herself to the terrible fact that this was not death, her bandaged hands went out to take the bowl. The one with immobile fingers curled it inwards until it sat on her lap. The other, more dexterous hand, received the spoon.

"Let me-" Shaking her head no, she cut off the woman who was fawning too closely over her.

With a storm of emotions in her gaze, the elder woman stood back up and let her try to eat by herself. It wasn't that she couldn't move, it was just strange to not remember ever eating before. It was strange to feel the spoon and remember nothing like that before. The emptiness in her almost ached, hinting to the shattered soul she had to be to not know anything, to not be dead. Even not remembering anything, she felt as if she knew she shouldn't be alive. With not remembering anything, she didn't know what more to do with that feeling. A hollowness rung within her and it was slowly growing echoing out a little more with each breath she still took.

"It's chicken and herb broth. It will help your immune system and should not upset your stomach. It's a recipe that Shuzo's great-great-great grandmother has always passed down." Words filled the silence, covering up the echoes within.

Her unpatched eye checked over the smiling elder woman again before finally lifting a spoonful to her dry salty lips.

The lukewarm soup did not scald her nor bring a chill down her spin. Chicken, parsley, carrots, celery, and other flavors she could not identify but recognized within her empty mind, slowly waltzed in her mouth. They were not too bright nor too bland. It was not salty nor spicy. It did not have too much oil or fat, nor was it without depth.

This was the first thing she had ever tasted, ever eaten. And it was good.

"How do you like it? Would you like some bread?" The elder woman tried to read her bandaged face but to no avail.

"It's good." A rough voice she still didn't recognize left her throat. Taking a second spoonful she savored the liquid.

"I'll go get you some bread to go with it. And a second bowl. But remember, eat slowly- exactly like that." Setting down the cloth on the blankets that covered her legs, the elder woman turned to exit the room. Her full bright colored dress spun with her movement and swished lightly at her feet.

The creature prowled back into the room and hopped onto the foot board. Its body stretched and back hunched until it settled back down into the crouched seated position. Its tail swished lightly back and forth, the only sign the strange monster was not a statue.

"Would you like some?" She held her spoon up but the creature turned its head left and then right signaling no. As if scolding her, it clicked repetitiously before quieting back into its nearly frozen pose.

The ocean's waves filled the silence. The ocean rivaled the blankness she was drowning in. It relentlessly continued despite being unseen. Salt slightly burned her nose. The translucent broth sat still as she did not lift the spoon. A weariness clung to her lungs and the back of her head. Maybe she shouldn't have woken up?

"Is it bothering your stomach?" The elder woman re-entered, the smell of fresh bread over powered the salty air. "Here try this instead."

The woman took the soup from her and passed her a small roll instead. Grabbing a wooden chair that she hadn't even realized was in the room, the elder woman sat beside her.

"My husband tells me you have amnesia. You aren't the first patient to wake up without memories after a traumatic event, but as he probably told you - they should come back. Our other patients did." The old woman smiled, her rouge lip color curling up brightly. "Eat a bite of the roll dear. It will help."

Mutely, she brought the roll up to her mouth and bit into its soft flesh. Like the soup, it was neither too bright nor too bland. There wasn't a hard crust on it nor flakes. It was just soft, not dry, not raw dough. Silently, able to hear the ocean, she chewed slowly. And then finally she swallowed.

"Is it good?"

With a nod of her head, she let the roll back down towards her lap uninterested in biting into it again. Numb, she was uninterested in everything.

"Take another bite, dear. I have one more for you to eat too. Then I'll let you rest. You seem worn out, waking up like this must be a toll on you. But don't worry, everything will be okay." She smiled again egging her to raise the roll yet again to her mouth, the elder woman's hand even helped guide her into the action.

Biting again, she repeated the earlier process. The soft freshly made roll tasted good; she just didn't feel hungry. She actually didn't feel anything. Without memories, she didn't know how she was supposed to feel. Even if she had memories, she wondered if she could feel any different.

Jun, as the elder woman had introduced herself as, complimented her hair and eye color. She complimented how loyal the unknown cat thing was to her. She smiled and repeated that everything would be fine. But no matter how many times she paused in eating or got distracted with just sitting emptily, Jun kept prompting her to eat another bite. Bite after bite until finally the two rolls were finished.

"Would you like more broth? It would be good to get some fluids in you." Jun picked up yet another item for her to eat, the broth she hadn't finished. "Here try it again."

This time Jun did not give her the bowl to hold, but instead held out a broth filled spoon. Compliantly she accepted it, again tasting the bright, and now room temperature liquid.

"It's good isn't it?"

Nodding dumbly, she couldn't help but answer the persistent elder. "yes."

"Here, finish this then I'll leave you to sleep. Okay?"

She could only nod dumbly again. What did she know? However tiredness was creeping back within her. Maybe if she slept, she would wake up different, better, not-broken.

Bite after spoon filled bite, she ate the soup Jun fed her silently. Jun again soothed her, commenting on the small ocean side village she was in. How her husband was the local doctor and their sons fishermen. Jun commented on how she was a seamstress. That once she was better and wounds fully healed up, they would ask around the village again if she didn't remember by then.

Scraping the bottom of the bowl, Jun looked at her sadly. "This must all be very tiring to you. And it is nearly dusk. How about you sleep, and we'll just take this one day at a time, okay?"

"Okay." The teal sky had turned darker. "The sky-" She hesitated, unsure what it even was she wanted, "will be back tomorrow?"

"Yes, in the morning." Jun smiled at her child like question. But that wasn't what she had wanted to ask.

What was it?

Why couldn't she remember?

But did it matter? It didn't matter.

"Okay." She repeated, her single unbandaged eye went to the elder woman.

_["Say Thank you" Happiness fluttered through her despite the reprimand "Thank you"]_

"Thank you." Words she didn't feel left her. They caused the elder woman to smile, something she could not mirror or even receive.

"If you need anything - well, that _cat_ of yours will probably get us." Jun picked up the empty dishes and quietly exited, closing the door behind her down to a crack.

Numb, she didn't feel exhausted. She didn't quite feel tired. She didn't even feel grateful but she had said thank you anyway. Why? Why say that when she felt nothing? Was saying thank you something she did _before_ or because she knew that she was equally a stranger to these people as they were to her?

Frowning, she sat alone with that _thing. Cat_ Jun had called it but even she with no memories knew a cat did not look like the creature that sat at the end of her bed. It, unlike Jun and her husband, knew her. Ignoring it, she turned her gaze back to the darkening window.

Darkness deepened in the night. Her fingers fiddled with the three bracelets that would not come off her right wrist. One was gold. Another was a light sandy-brown. And the last was a dried-brown-red. No matter how she spun them, turned them, slide them - they stayed on. No matter how she twisted her wrist or tried to contort her thumb, they could not be removed...

They must have been from before. But they held no hint to her, or their, origin. Like her, they now meant nothing. Like her they were now nothing. Still her fingers traced them. They, like the teal sky and the _cat_-thing were some sense of ground while she couldn't feel what way was up. They, if they truly never came off and had always been on her, would be some sort of constant. A nothing she could count on maybe...

As best she could she slowly laid herself back on. Bandages stretched, skin and flesh hurt. Her body protested the movement, her brain protested the pain. Finally settled, she closed her eyes, wishing she had never awoke.

And she laid there with her eyes closed.

The ocean continued even in the night, it did not stop.

Eyes closed, she laid there.

Still.

Breathing, she laid...

She didn't sleep.

Eyes flicking back open, she couldn't sleep.

She tried again.

And again.

Painfully turning. She tried, a tiredness creeping into her more deeply.

For a moment she almost, but then she didn't.

Painfully, she turned the other way.

That was no better.

Was there a secret to sleeping? Was this a sign she shouldn't have ever awoken?

Sighing she got up and slowly wandered out the door. Stairs loomed at her feet.

"You are up?" A male voice, Shuzo met her instantly as his head stuck out a nearby door. "Are you hurting?"

Yes but- "I can't sleep."

"Here, let me get something for you. Lay back in bed and I'll bring it." In his long night shirt he quickly dashed down stairs.

By the time she finally was back in bed, pain rioting against how much she had moved, he was back. "Here these pills will help you heal and sleep. Drink this so it won't upset your stomach."

"Okay." The three pills were swallowed easily. The glass of water felt heavy. She only drank a few swallows of it before giving it back to him.

"Drink a little more." He, like Jun, coxed her.

With a sigh she made it to a quarter of the glass.

He shook his head, requiring her to at least drink half.

She made it to half and then handed it back.

"If you need anything else, our door is the one on the left." He pointed form the direction he had popped out of in the hall.

"Thank you." Again she spoke the meaningless words.

With a nod, he like Jun left the door cracked open.

Again - still - she could not sleep.

The night ticked on. Painfully tossing, she tried and tried and tried. Curled up on her left - she could not sleep. On her right side, she could not stay asleep. Sitting up, she couldn't sleep. With blankets, without blankets, a pillow, no pillow. On her back. Agonizing laying on her stomach... And still she could not-

"Et?" That thing crawled towards her on the blankets above her legs. A chill from the night's air ran down her back.

"Et. Et. Et." It spoke, his bulbous head cocking to the side as its tail made a swishing motion back and forth.

"I can't sleep. He said the pills were to help me sleep, and I can't-" Something had to be wrong with her; she should have never awoken.

Its head ducked low as if it was thinking. Its fur ruffled out into spikes once, twice, a third time. Then he settled, his head raising back up. "Et!"

It gracefully leapt off the bed to the center of the room. Then it slowly turned back and stalked towards the side of her bed. Hooking his tail into the frame, he pulled the bed backwards.

Surprised she turned to watch the wall move from her as he dragged her away. She didn't want to be away from the window. The ocean's relentless waves continued. Salt on her tongue and tingling her nose made slightly less empty. The window was supposed to be teal again tomorrow-

Then her bed slid towards the wall. The window came closer. And then back away. Back and forth he slid her bed - towards the wall, away. Quietly on the floor, he slid her back and forth. He matched the same rhythm as the waves.

The waves. Her hand drifted to the bracelets that couldn't be removed. Her eyes slowly closed as she licked her lips one last time.

Towards the wall. Away. Swell. Away from the wall. Surge. Crest. Stop. Crash. Towards the wall- away, swell. Away from the wall- surge, crest. Repeat.

Dreamless, she slept.

Empty was all she was, but at least now she could sleep...

Sleep felt like a better place to be for at least the dreams, filled with nothing, matched what she felt.

...

* * *

...

"Do you mind if we pick out a name for you?" Jun's voice brought her gaze off the bracelets that constantly drew her gaze.

As their eyes met, the older woman's kind face folded into her normal gentle smile. Jun moved busily in the kitchen while she just sat at the little table. Feeling empty, she returned her gaze to the bracelets allowing the ocean to answer for her.

"Is there a name on those bracelets you stare at? Maybe we could use that." With a light tap the teapot was placed on the stove top, a few turns of her hands and Jun turned the heat on to it. Tea was was all she, now they, seemed to drink.

The ocean's continued rhythm, the constant soothing flow, drew her in. Her mind wandered as she again didn't answer. Slowly, she brushed back her hair before turning the bracelets over and over. She knew they were already plain, one the color of sand, one of gold, one like dried blood. The emptiness was all there was to her, but at least the ocean with its waves, its sound, was trying to fill it.

"Aye?" Jun pressed her again, preapring red and black tea cups with matching saucers. At a grace far above her own, the woman set out a basket of light colored, fresh bread. Steam rose from the basket while Jun's eyes drew her own single one back to the question she had already known the answer to but didn't see the point in answering...

"Um-" Her throat still hurt. It was as if she had even injured that too. Had she screamed so hard from the other injuries that she hurt it? Had something too attacked there? Clearning it, she let her mind return to the plain braclets that matched her empty head.

"No." She spun through them slowly again, "They are just plain bands."

Jun did not display the same apathcy. Instead her features filled with hope and ideas. "Well, do you want to be called something related to them? Since they could be a family heirloom or are at least something from you past?"

"No-?" Could they really be family heirlooms? Was something like this normal to have as a family heirloom? Her bandage hand went over the brown-red one, the golden one, and then the sand colored one.

The healing scars on her face protested as she frowned, "I don't remember."

"Well, how about Michi?"

She shook her head no. Her chin length dark charcoal hair shook with the motion falling into her face. She brushed it back. The skin around her injured eye hurt as she blinked slowly.

"Doesn't feel right?" The woman's warm amber eyes tried to read what the amnesia girl could not feel.

"Doesn't feel like anything." She met the woman's gaze only briefly before letting her green mix-matched eyes drift down to those bracelets that couldn't come off. Nothing felt like anything. Everything felt like nothing...

Above the bracelets and below were healing and long healed scars. The newer ones were blotchy, red, tender scaring that shown her skin had been torn up, sliced into, and shredded. The scar line she stared at started from the pad of her palm below her thumb and ran all the way down to her elbow and then up to the sleeve of the red coral pastel sundress.

"Chou?" Jun did not give up.

A slight move of her head declined that option too, her eyes briefly re-scanning the kitchen again looking for some familiarity. But there was none. This place was nice, open, inviting, and completely unknown. Foreign. More _nothing_.

"Rei, for your eyes?" Jun complimented, noticing how the healing girl would drift over the sight of her scars with a blank expression. How she stared at that cloudy eye of hers even though she could still use it... Maybe she could teach the young woman how to use scarves and shawls to feel better about her appearance. A unique eye patch might help her self-esteem too.

"Are people named for their eyes?" The forest green orb and cloudy gray-green one with the slice through met the older woman's gaze with a genuine question. Naturally her head tilted to the side.

Again there was no negative emotion present in the young woman's tone, but neither was there hope. Almost as if she was completely detached, and unconcerned about it too. Her question showed she had no sense of how things were - true and complete amnesia. And the young woman, who had woken up with no memories and scars, was suffering from shock along with her amnesia.

Smiling gently once again, Jun answered the blank young woman's question. "I do not know, but that is a common practice. I named my one son Naoki because of his brown eyes and brown hair when he was born- but do not let my husband know that."

Jun reminisced, her aged amber eyes catching the slightest of nods from the petite woman's head. There was still not a hint of recognition or even empathy. This time the woman was staring at her pet on the floor, watching it sleep with its spikes in all directions while it's ugly frame rose and fell with its nasal breaths.

"What about him? Should we call him Kawaii?" Jun joked, then immediately stiffened as the creature sprung up clicking in insult.

"I don't think he likes that." There was no emotion in the nameless young woman's voice as she placed both her hands in her lap turning them palms up. The creature immediately leapt in her lap, surprising her. It's spikes smoothed out and it curled back up.

Silence again returned as she continued to stare at the little monster. Jun almost spoke but finally the woman did first. "What about black?"

Jun smiled, pleased. At least that was something. "Black is a good name." She coaxed.

The young woman did not move. Her body was poised as if to pet the creature. Her finger tips moved as if she wanted to, but like so many other things even he felt foreign though obviously he was hers.

Questions existed in her head. Questions that made the emptiness almost bearable and yet so _weighted_. Had she raised him from birth? Did she find him? Was she given him? How long had they been together? Had he been hurt too? Did he protect her? Call her something? Stay with her? Again, none of those questions had answers. Worse, no one but she and it would know.

"Kuro." She repeated. Something to call him, even if it meant nothing.

Jun watched as a smile ghosted itself on the seated young woman- a natural expression she maybe didn't even realize she was doing.

Taking that sign as a victory, Jun continued forward. "So what about you? Anything that maybe feels right, or that you recognize a little?"

Mismatched eyes roamed up. They traced along the room stopping at the window to look outside, the table, kitchen counters, pans, stove...

"Salt." Her gaze landed firmly on the salt shaker in the kitchen.

Only briefly, did the emptiness removed as she felt a brief sense of curiosity. Why did they even need that when it coated the air so thickly? Salt could be a name for her because felt it on her every inhale. It was as constant as the creature, Kuro.

The elder woman smiled. "That is a different name to have."

Immediately that firmness in the girl's gaze evaporated replaced by a lost look. Her tongue wet her lips as her head turned to the window, away from Jun's accidental criticism. "I tasted it."

Realizing her mistake, Jun picked up the teapot and poured two cups. With a smile she carried them over to the dejected young woman. "The wind is constantly carrying it in, isn't it? And it does smell good."

Placing the tea cup down in front of the young woman and setting one in her place, she returned to the kitchen to bring the light bread. The woman let silence continue as she stared blankly.

"So you don't want to be salt?" Jun sat next to the melancholy woman.

Watching the tea without drinking, the young woman shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"Well how about that as a family name?" Jun did not want the young woman to give in so quickly. It was if all sense of natural preference was completely absent in the scarred up woman. Maybe someone had beat it out of her... That thought twisted the elder woman's stomach.

"How about a given name next? Any ideas, it can be anything you want." Still the elder woman would not give up on the task at hand.

Emotionless, her gaze moved off the tea and scanned the room again.

"It doesn't have to be anything in here. We could pick something you like and then find names that mean that." Encouragement only made the woman feel even more _wrong_.

She wanted nothing. Had nothing. Liked nothing. Was nothing. But the dress she was wearing, that Jun had given her, was bright. It looked like _something_ at least. "This dress? Like I did for Kuro?"

And then she doubted herself, what did an empty person like her know anyway? Plus, it really didn't matte-

Before the young woman could say it didn't matter, Jun immediately praised her. "That is a good idea! I am glad you like that dress. You look very good in it too." The elder woman smiled, drawing green mix-matched eyes to her face. "So names that mean red or are shades of red, aye?"

Feeling not quite so empty, the young woman nodded her head. A small sense of happiness fleetingly stirred within her. She had named the creature black, so why not herself in a shade of this dress's color.

"How about, Akane?"

"No." That felt like more nothing.

"Kokai?"

"No." Also nothing.

"Sakura?"

"No." Nothing.

"Senko?"

The woman shook her head, finally taking a sip of tea - declining that version too.

"Do you like the tea? It's jasmine." Jun paused in her name listing to also drink the freshly brewed tea.

The nameless woman stalled. As if she was asked a complicated question, she thought silently. Timidly she took another sip, and before even setting the cup down again, she took a third.

"It is okay if you do not like it. I can brew you something else as well. Teas are one of my few indulgences."

The way Jun spoke made her almost want to like the tea. But truly, "I don't know."

A hand covered her scarred one. "That's okay too. Like I said, I have a lot of teas. We can find one you like, or if nothing else maybe some you even hate. Not all of them are for everybody's tastes." As if it was a joke, the elder woman chuckled to herself.

The nameless woman didn't smile nor laugh instead she uncertainly nodded.

"So, back to names? There are so many shades of red, plus there's traditional and nontraditional names."

After a long extended pause, a muttered "Okay." finally sounded.

"What about Momo?" She received an apathetic shrug back, another decline.

"Shuiro?" "Akaneiro?"

No and no.

"Well there's Enji, Karakurenia, Nakabeni, Arazome, Ikkonzome - though can't see you wanting to be called that." Jun took another sip, thinking. "Suoko, the true red Shinshu, Ebicha, the over dyed Sohi, or Ginshu... Kokiake is pretty but more of a brown-red like this table."

"You know a lot of reds." Another genuine, non-shocked, statement came from the woman, making Jun feel like maybe somewhere in this shell of a woman still was the person who she had been before.

"Yes. I actually dye cloth on the side. I dyed the cloth for the dress you are wearing and sewed it too. I did have to stitch it in for you, but I'm sure you will nicely fill it out now that you are awake."

The young woman looked down at the dress again. Did she even deserved to be named? To exist?

"You sure you want to stick to reds? There's only a half a dozen more-"

The young scarred woman nodded. She had no other idea, _nothing_.

"Alright, there's Tokina, Usubeni, Hiiro-"

"Okay." She picked that one randomly. "Salt Hiiro, you can call me that."

"You know, there's probably someone looking for you. I'm sure if you go around with my husband, you'll be recognized." Jun smiled kindly, hoping that whoever recognized her would be kind. The woman's face was marred from her forehead, across her eye. And then into her other cheek - almost as if someone had tried to blind her and then stab into her mouth. Her collar bone area, arms, legs, torso - all were scarred... Maybe they could do something with cloth. Jun's mind started turning, what she could make to help this woman who gaze held no hope nor joy.

The blank eyes looked up. "Will I recognize them?" The woman, Hiiro, paused in her question. "I don't know Kuro."

"Well you can stay here for a while. Use us as practice, get to know us." The older woman offered, wondering if this woman had been abused. There had been old scars along with her new. Maybe with the help of the terrifying creature in her lap, she escaped from a family, husband, or group's torturous abuse.

Oblivious, Hiiro returned to the tea. Jasmine but still unfamiliar. What did she like? Or dislike? Anything?

Was there really someone looking for her? If there was, wouldn't she get a sense of missing them or feeling something other than the nothing that resided within her now? All she was, maybe all she had ever been, was empty.

...

* * *

...

_[He towered over her. Everything about him demanded to know why she dared to not sleep when asked. Everything about him demand that his word be law. Instead she smiled so happily, "I can't sleep. Can you do that thing for me again? Pllleeeaaaasssssseeeee?"]_

Rocking.

Back and forth.

Hiiro awoke from a dreamless sleep as the soothing movement continued. The hammock rocked so much easier than the bed. In fact, this had to be one of the few things she genuinely liked. The only thing better than the hammock would be if she could sleep in the ocean itself, among the actual ripples and waves.

Pitter-patter trickling amplifying as even more came down. Rapidly it danced upon the wood awning. The sound must have been what woke her. The hammock kept oscillating. Kuro perched on the rope at her feet hooked the beam with his tail, keeping the hammock's momentum. The sound of the rain filled the emptiness but to drown out the sound of the ocean. It took away the taste of salt from the air. Rolling her head, Hiiro attempted to go back to napping. If she had dreams, she did not remember. Her head held absolutely _nothing_. But in sleeping at least she wasn't aware of her own hollowness.

Not only did the rain continue to increase, an awakening chill crept across the shoreline. Clouds sprawled across the sky blocking out the sun. Reopening her mix-matched eyes, she watched the storm roll in. It did not phase her that she was under a lean-to outside. With the hammock rocking and Kuro next to her, she felt no desire to move. Closing her eyes again, she tried to sleep. But the chill was just a little too cold. Plus she already had napped most of the day away and certainly all the night.

"Hiiro." Jun's voice echoed across the yard.

Salt Hiiro kept her eyes closed. Maybe if she pretended to be asleep-

"Hiiro, I need your help measuring out yarn and spinning." The elder woman had decided to give the lethargic woman more to do.

Eyes still closed, she let Kuro rock her, pretending to not have heard. Maybe she could just cease to exist-

"It's easier with two people. Come on, you'll catch a chill out here." Jun did not give up. "I have a fire going inside. Tea too."

Unable to feign ignorance, Hiiro exhaled solemnly. She was going to have to leave the comfort of the hammock, but at least Kuro would go with her. Him being always at her side was an even larger comfort. Sighing, she stared briefly at the ceiling; her mind returned to blank. Slowly she started to get up. Kuro stopped the rocking.

A ripping sound brought a chill to her left side and hip. She blinked her mind trying to put two and two together. Her white bandages across her waist and hips were now seen. Even those bandages strained as she sat. Gingerly she traced the long rip that started at her bust and went all the way down to her hips.

The briefest sense of sadness murmured through her- her mind grasping between the gift Jun had given her and Kuro, as if there was something more there. And then, that feeling and thought vanished, slipping completely out of the reach. Only blankness remained with not a trace to what that thought had been...

"Tsk" A clicking sound exited her. The lavender dress now ruined. And yet another dress she no longer fit in. Worry poured through her like rain, emptying out onto the ground. Rising she didn't try to pull the seams together. Limping slightly, her normally heavy footsteps sunk into the early spring grass as she crossed the yard. Water drenched her as she didn't even try to shield herself. It didn't matter, numb on the inside, someone who ruined dresses, what was a little cold?

Unseen by her, Kuro glared at her viciously. His tail showed aggravation to her wallowing.

"Oh dear! Why didn't you use the umbrella!?" Salt shrugged at Jun's exclamation.

Again an ungraspable light, prideful feeling whipped through her and vanished just as quick – [_She grinned at the shop keep, hair drenched as she delivered his cart as hired 'I never use an umbrella_.']

Apathetic Hiiro glanced away, that fleeting feeling had to be too happy to be hers, too fast for her to figure out whose or what it it had been. Uncertain, she stated what could easily be seen, "I ripped your dress."

"Oh don't worry about that. I thought it was looking a little tight- I should have had you switch into the newer ones I made for you." Jun embraced her, brushing her wet short hair and wiping off her now chilled face before examining the tear. "This won't take but two seconds to fix.

"You can fix it?" Could broken things be fixed? Was she _fixable_? Unknowingly she waited with baited breath, too broken to even dare to hope.

"Of course. I made it. Maybe I'll add in some dark gray blocking on the sides." The woman mused to herself. "I do love that I finally have someone to wear these around the house. You look very pretty in them."

Hiiro blinked. The broken could be fixed. And she looked pretty?

[_A pompous kid stared star-eyed at her, his cheeks growing rosy. 'Marry me, I demand it'_.]

No- Hiiro couldn't see herself as looking pretty.

"Oh, I will show you some shawls later today too. And scarves- they will look great on you. Plus I think you would like them."

Hiiro frowned not understanding "I'll wear whatever you want me to. It doesn't matter."

Jun sighed. "Well if there's ever something you like or dislike just say it. The shawls will look good with the dresses and scarves are very fashionable. People can be cruel with their words but my clothing will keep them all stunned into silence, kay?"

Hiiro shrugged again. Her eyes returned blankly out to the ocean. It still rolled into the shore, but the rain was covering it's constant sound. Hiiro almost itched to return to the hammock. The sooner she helped Jun the sooner she could return - right? "You said you needed help?"

"Oh yes! But first cookies and tea. Come, come." Jun gestured to the dining table.

"I ripped the dress." Hiiro frowned. Shouldn't she not be eating more?

"These are special cookies. Traditional to some areas. Maybe they will help you remember something?"

"Okay." Hiiro didn't care. If the woman wanted her to eat, why not? She did not care if she did not eat too. Hunger required her feeling, and like remembering it was almost as if she could not.

The rain continued. The house felt cool and foreign. She missed hearing the ocean, feeling the salt. As if Kuro knew, he landed heavily on her shoulder. Though his weight was very heavy for her, it settled her soul.

She didn't know who she was. She felt eternally empty. But Kuro was here. Her needy temperamental cat followed her everywhere she went. Without him she truly would be suffocating, drowning in the absence.

That was something more than nothing, right?

And the bracelets. Her left hand went to feel them. That was something right? Maybe.

Or maybe, not.

Hiiro teetered with existing and not wanting to exist. That emptiness that felt like it should be something, held the questions and answers she could not seem to recall.

Despite how hard it was to breathe and the heaviness that pulled her downwards, Jun smiled and set the table. Today's tea cups and saucers were green and yellow, a complete mismatch of the clouds overhead.

...

* * *

...

_["Can I come with you?" "No" "What if I just tag along?" "No" "I can help!" "No" "Let me take that for you." "…" "I can deliver this ya know?" "Fine. Don't get distracted." "I won't" "Don't talk to strangers." "Why not?" "Bring that back here!" "NOPE!" Laughter ran down the mountain side set on the task at hand.]_

"You were helping mom dye again, huh?" Naoki looked up to see Hiiro slowly making her way towards them.

The covered woman didn't answer, too far to hear. The scarf, wrapped about her neck hiding up to her nose and cheeks, blew in the wind. the decorated eye patch perfectly matched the scarf's color with a stunning design, his mother's work. The long dress flowed about her feet, often kicked up as the wind rolled off the ocean front. It teased her feet, exposing his mother's dress boots. She wasn't wearing the long sleeve shawl this time, but her arms were covered in dyes - hiding the scars that proved she had survived.

Carrying their lunches, her feet slowly drug towards them. It always felt good to walk on the sand. She was purposefully lingering to feel it on her feet just a little longer. Now a little more confident she often came to the shoreline. She'd sit in the sand trying to decide between burying herself in the sand or walking straight into the waves... As if he knew her thoughts, Kuro generally did not seem to like her at the shore. He often would repeatedly pull, scratch, and wrap his tail about her hand or ankle to convince her to go back up to the house.

"So you were dying with my mother again?" Naoki repeated with a welcoming grin. "Did it go well?"

_["Hey kid, you are doing a mighty fine job with those grain sacks." She beamed turning on point immediately. Dirt covered her legs from the field, her short hair was growing out but her height was rather stuck. Still, she spotted her next place or more so it spoke to her. "I am, aren't I? Do you want to hire me? I'm helpful! And I do well! Anything really. I'm a person for hire, just no-"]_

A small smile floated across her lips, a brief brightness came into her unpatched eye. "Yes. She said she had an order to fill and needed help. I only ruined two colors this time."

"Going to go out with us again?" Grinning, Naoki felt bolder now.

_["What the hell did I tell you about fishing! You are doing it all wrong! Again!"]_

"N-not this time." She shook her head no, vigorously. "Jun just wanted me to give your lunches to you."

Rejection made the young man lose his grin, but he recovered quickly. "Ya know, practice makes perfect."

"Naoki, we need to get going." Taree started shoving out the boat without his brother.

"Finnnneeee." Naoki took the lunches from Hiiro with a wink and shoved them in the boat. Then he helped push with his brother. Looking back at her, he shouted - "Cook us something good tonight."

"I do not cook." She muttered numbly. The boat had scared her because Kuro had not been with.

She watched them paddle strongly out. Their arms stroked together in unity, a presentation of strength she felt briefly mesmerized by.

"Hiiro, I need you back here. We only have a couple more hours so these can dry."

The dress spun with her turn. Strenuously she walked up the tall steps, controlling her panting through her nose.

"I think you and I are going to have to start going on walks to town together." Jun surveyed the out of shape young woman kindly. "Shuzo is constantly telling me to get out of the house more. It would be good for us to get use to moving."

"Kuro can come too, right?" Hiiro didn't dare mention the pets he had killed last time nor the looks the others in town gave her.

"We can have a girl's day! I always wanted to have a girl's day like the other mothers did with their daughters, but my boys would have none of it." Jun placed a hand over her heart. "I even dressed Taree up and he practically disowned me! Shuzo had to threaten him that he would never go fishing with him again if he did not apologize."

The scarf over Hiiro's face moved as a smile ghosted across her lips naturally. "I am sure he apologized correctly."

"Of course he did. We raised our boys right." Pride filled the elder woman. "Now come on, we got cloth to dye and then fish to cure. Remember if anything is too heavy for you let me know and I'll get it or have Shuzo help us when he gets home - the boys will probably be out till dusk again."

"They said they will be home for supper." Hiiro relayed.

"My sons always say that. Maybe once they settle down with their own families will it be true." Jun smiled with a knowing look in her eyes. "But for now, you can keep me company. Shall we go shopping tomorrow to see the styles and drop off the dresses?"

Hiiro immediately remembered the soap shopkeeper's scolding to her. "The shopkeeper-"

"Let's not talk about that shopkeeper. I told you, what he said was wrong. Look how beautiful you are- very fashionable indeed. On our girls day we'll both dress up. Matching scarves, shawls, dresses, boots - it will be amazing. Do not think any more on what he said to you or those children about you. I really should wash his and their mouths out with his cheap soap."

_[A woman held out small soaps and oils directly under her nose. Broom in hand she stopped mid-sweep. "Smell these – these are what we use to help people relax. There's lavender, lemon, orange, mint, ginger …"]_

Hiiro let her green eyes drift away from the woman who was trying to console her, "I do not remember how I looked before, and some of these were old. So maybe I was always scarred? It doesn't bother me, I just don't want to bother them"

A tight smile went across the older woman's face. The thought of Hiiro being abused twisted her stomach. "Please do not think of what that shopkeeper said. Besides with your scarves, shawls, dresses, and smile people will only see you as beautiful. Especially when they learn how gentle and sweet you are."

An old hand rose to gently touch her scarf covered cheek. Hiiro said nothing for she knew her scars bothered Jun too. Who didn't they bother? Only Kuro didn't seem to mind.

"Come, let's color ourselves in dye" Jun grinned, grasping the young woman's hand to direct them across their yard to go to her little dying shed.

_[Ginger... She inhaled smelling the scent still on his skin, her hands… It lingered in the air. Wet, cool, lazily, fully relaxed, she opened her eyes. There was something about ginger after-]_

"Do you smell ginger?" Her head gazed at the house as if she could see through walls to the scent she suddenly noticed.

"No? I'm making orange black tea though. Perfect for a day like today." Jun studied her face while she looked for the source of the scent she could almost smell. "Do you want some ginger in it, that would be easy enough to add-"

"No." Hiiro shook her head, her short wet hair flinging droplets under the awning. "Black tea will be fine."

"Orange black tea. There's a difference in these things, Hiiro. Orange black tea." The elderly hand patted her shoulder as if she had much to learn.

...

* * *

...

_[The sun had not yet rose and yet she was up. Stretching she readied herself. Who knew what the day would bring? New places. New people. New jobs. But first – training. 1,000 of each she'd do no problem. Maybe 2,000 just for fun. Then she'd head out. Her pack and bed were already picked and cleaned up. She traveled with nothing so that she could join just about anything.]_

Hiiro awoke. Not just opening her eyes and wishing to go back to sleep, but awoke feeling like she should actually get up. Kuro still rocking the hammock Shuzo had placed in her room. This time he was curled by her head. Sitting up, she rolled out onto the ground hard.

"Et!" The gray head shook disapprovingly at her. Quick hammock exits were far from her forte.

"I'm okay handsome." Hiiro brushed off the night gown that bellowed out for her chest and hips. Its longs sleeves were perfectly tailored. Jun had spent hours measuring her for it and so many of her other dresses.

The emptiness stalled her briefly as her mix-matched eyes went out to the window. The teal sky tried to comfort her but to no avail. The hollowness she still felt deeply rung out. From this room, she could not see the ocean. She could not see the sand. She could only hear it, taste it, and know it was there. Hollowness echoed within her informing her that she did not feel all there. She was broken. She was-

"Et. Et. Et." Kuro started clicking having gracefully jumped down to her feet. As if he did not actually care for her, he went out her bedroom door. Surprised gasps and brief screams informed her the others were up- but they were always up before her.

Inhaling, trying to draw back that brief feeling of normalcy she almost had, Hiiro turned to the closet. A bright orange dress immediately caught her gaze. This was the dress Jun had made after they had waited until sunset for the boys to return for their cold dinner (one she almost threw out in exasperation over them). The tea they drank that day had been magnolia bark. Jun had showed her a few short stitches on this dress. The bright burnt orange dress drew her attention in prompting her to take it from its hanger.

Hiiro held her breath. She stood out at the top of the mountain, trees on all sides. She was short. Someone tall was standing on one side of her but she wasn't looking at them. Her eyes were locked on the orange sky as the sun melted into the horizon. _Isn't the color beautiful_. Whatever was next to her had snorted dismissively and then he tramped loudly away…

Gripping the dress, her mind couldn't remember that fleeting image, thought, moment. It felt like it had been someone else. It felt too brief for her to know any more of it. Trees – bark. Orange – sunset. Tall monstrous person – the house. Had it even been a memory of hers or something she just made up? She didn't know. It was gone. She wasn't even sure it had existed, but this dress did exist. It was in her very-own hands.

The dress went on with ease, perfectly expanding out in areas that other dresses had previously been tight. Tying the sash, Hiiro felt centered and alive. Intent on finishing her outfit, something that made the day and moon according to Jun, she scanned the rows of scarves, shawls, and patches. Some she had dyed, some Jun had dyed in new trial colors. A few had more than one color. But all were bright as if life was actually worth living, as if it could actually be good, and maybe even happy.

_[Smile, she beamed out just because she could._]

A light blue green shawl kept drawing her gaze back until her hand selected it. With a smooth motion she placed it over her shoulders, allowing it to naturally cascade down her arms. Her scars had mostly healed but they were still her prominent feature. A matching silky smooth scarf went around her neck and then a light green-blue eye cover with an embroidered design. Brushing her hair with her fingers Hiiro glanced in her only mirror. Bright colors greeted her. With one last touch to the bracelets on her wrist she wandered down stairs.

"Oh wow, aren't you becoming quiet the fashionista!" Jun complimented her immediately.

"It's all yours." She picked out her favorite tea cup and followed Jun's method of morning tea.

"How do you feel about practicing embroidery today and making beaded jewelry? We could even do beaded embroidery."

"It- "It doesn't matter"-er" She replied with Jun matching her exactly. The elder woman waved the air. "I know, I know. You are very easy going, but it is nice to see hints of your own style. You've come far these last three weeks."

Hiiro paused feeling the emptiness that still kept its hold.

"Et. Et. Et." Kuro demanded she take her place at the table so that he could curl in her lap. Warmly she obliged. Maybe with Kuro and help from Jun's cloth skills, the emptiness would be filled. If nothing else, the colors seemed to allow even her to be a part of the living world.

"We could search for sea glass on the beach."

Jun laughed. "You'd dig all day in sand if I let you. Maybe we should make some more work clothes out of the scraps."

"Maybe."

"Heaven knows it's about time to start planting the garden. Hopefully you like digging in actual dirt as much as you like searching the sands."

_[Her bare hands dug into the black ground, rapidly trenching out the row. A job was a job, but a job outside and helping others was even better. Dirt plastered itself under her short finger nails. Her hair was back in a high ponytail while the sun beat down upon her. She stood up shortly to wipe her forehead. Her lips had curled up in an elated grin-]_

Hiiro's entire mind paused. Again that feeling of almost familiarity vanished as quickly as it had come leaving only uncertainty and emptiness in its wake. Unsure on what to feel or say, she simply eyed the elder woman with her one unpatched eye. Until there was something she could firmly remember, she didn't want to say anything about the fleeting feelings and moments that passed through her.

Maybe though, maybe - she would actually like this gardening thing. These somethings she felt from time to time were more than nothing... and maybe it and she was _enough_.

"Okay, I'll help with gardening too. As long as Kuro can come too." Hiiro felt her face naturally smile, as if it knew to. There was more than just existing. That was more in her than just nothing, than that hollowness, the ache of emptiness she couldn't shake.

There was more. There was Kuro, Shuzo and Jun, the bracelets she wore, dying cloth, sewing, the ocean, salt, drinking tea, delivering lunches, and now maybe gardening too.

Her eye glanced towards the ocean, as if to seek its confirmation. As if to hear it validate that she too, like it, could belong. With the salt in the air, on her tongue, she felt its reply. With its rise and swell, she heard it and yet still felt longing.

Maybe here, she could find peace despite the loss. Maybe, possibly, if Kuro was there - she too could she'd have a garden of her own and brew ginger tea as she watched the sun rise. Maybe along side the ocean, she could work hard and find the acknowledgement of herself and for herself, despite the voids.

Maybe peace, despite everything and anything, could always be found.

"Do you," Hiiro moved her gaze back to Jun slowly, "think, if I help you-" she stuttered through her words. "If there's room, do you think, I could start a little garden for me in the sand."

_[Teal stared at her, with her back to the door she refused to go though part of her wanted to. He was important, he needed to be protected, nothing he said would change those absolutes._

_"You..." He drew out that word, wrapping her heart up immediately. The air itself felt too heavy to breath, rejection and being a parasite to others murmured silently within her. She waited for the truth, that she was an outsider, as she always was. She waited for him to say she wasn't good enough to protect him, to help them. But that did not come. Instead, he sunk a different message into her soul "- are important."]_

_..._

* * *

...

**Again welcome to Wind Borrowed - Chapter 1**

**Review!? Thoughts? Knee jerk reactions? Like Hiiro? Ideas on Kuro? What about Matsuoka Shuzo and Jun?**

Actually **\- **I'm really excited for Hiiro and sad for her too. She's got a bit more than just physical scars going on there. And, I really like Jun's motherly antics. But Kuro - I don't know what to make of him yet. ^_^


	2. Chapter 2: Color in a World of Gray

**If you read these back when they were on Star Crossed, they are different.**

**Only bad thing about a new book - no reviews. :( Back to 0 and haven't hit 200 yet on Star Crossed either. Le sigh, but I do hope this is easier for everyone who is reading.**

**Thank you to **Mackenzie McClain - they helped me a lot with this chapter. If you want to beta read, let me know. I am not the best with catching errors and I write better when inspired by others (thus why reviews are so important to me, any comment is motivating. ^_^)

Anyway. Hope you enjoy this chapter  
Thanks for reading

\- Rain

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* * *

...

Hiiro knelt in the dirt. Her fingers dredged through the earth slowly creating the trench they needed. Her long heavy deep green skirt was folded under her legs, pressed hard into the ground. The worn boots bent easily with her toes that were tucked under her as she crouched.

"You sure you do not want a seat?" Jun's eyes drifted up from her seeding on the other side of the garden bed.

"This is okay, and Kuro seems to like it." At his name, the gray monster did not even twitch a muscle despite Hiiro's gaze landing on him. The critter killer had tucked himself next to Hiiro's leg, his bladed tail set gently next to her.

Jun stretched as if her bones ached, but oddly she smiled regardless. "The day feels good, doesn't it?"

That drew Hiiro's head up. Then, prompted by Jun's statement she kept tilting her head up until she was looking into that bright teal sky. Salt tingled her nose while a light breeze chilled her arms and fingertips. _Good_, required her feeling. Day was just bright and empty. Night was dark and empty. But, in the day she was able to do things like this with Jun and Kuro. And gardening was something; Hiiro's mismatched eyes fell back to the turned soil. She observed her dirt covered hands, how it had packed in under her fingernails. This was more than nothing, right? It felt like it could be enough, despite the void, the missing pieces within her, it felt like something…

"Y-yes," she hesitated uncertain how to act. Kuro's tail curled blade up as if to say any answer would be good. "Y-yes, it feels n-nice."

Hiiro eyed Jun, her mind blank. If her mind could remember, she'd probably have questions for the elder. If she could remember, maybe she'd know what to say. But she couldn't, her gaze slowly lowered back to the task at hand.

_[Basket full of red berries, she skipped back to the tiny house. Without seeing, she knew he was there. She felt him and knowing he was there, she spoke unprompted. "Kawa can we have more raspberries?" His cold hard gaze immediately glared down upon her, gaining her his full attention. Beaming her best Kawa-please smile, Yumi dared to add that magical word of "Please?"_

_Giving her his full attention, his every cell focused on her, he crossed his arms and huffed only adding to her joy. His lips curled cruelly while he showed he cared by pushing back, challenging her to be better. "Can't you grow them yourself? You are the one who eats them all gone. Figure it out."_

_Mimicking him, she huffed. Nearly getting the same over confident stance, she cocked her head the exact same way even though technically she had to look up at him to do so - "Fine. I'll just plant these seeds. I'll figure it out, no problem."_

_Of course, her confidence in the no problem was because if there was a problem, he would help her while making her do some ridiculously worse task - accomplishing both her getting more raspberries and becoming a step closer (a task stronger) to being a jieti!_

"_Good. Now be good, I have another job." Immediately her head jerked and her entire demeanor changed. _

_Her heart plummeted as the foundation of her life, her foster father, was leaving her alone again. "What!? Already! You just got back. You have to stay! We are going to make pie or fruit leathers! And what about the seeds! We-"_

"_A Jieti is just a body for others, Yumi." His tone darkened as he reminded her yet again why she shouldn't be a jieti and why he wasn't someone anyone should consider a father. "This is penance for what I've done, protecting people with my life. Now, I did find you some more rabbits-"_

_A gagging noise hiding her sorrow (because Jieti don't cry) came out of the back of her throat. Turmoil spiraled through her for rabbits always meant he'd be gone for longer than a day._

"_Don't feed them to the wolves this time-" _

"_I didn't!" His glare increased until she felt the truth bubble out. "It was a snake…"_

"_Not another poisonous one!"_

"_Of course - a red and black colored one this time, if you had seen it, you'd know-"_

_Horror briefly flashed on his face before a scowl replaced it. "No more of those either! And I expect those raspberries planted! And this house cleaned! Jieti do a thousand of exercises every morning so I expect you to do a couple thousand! Also - no wandering and no finding 'new friends!" He quickly issued one command after another to make sure she had more than enough to do while he was gone, in hopes she'd stay somewhat out of trouble._

_Filled up by his expectations, Yumi tried to stand taller and proudly lifted her chin. "I'll be fine, always am."_

_He snorted dismissively at her show. With one last frown, he towered out of the house with only a pat on her head as a goodbye. To say goodbye to her was beyond his ability, even though he knew they really needed to part ways, her to a real family one of these days._

_Slowly she inhaled refusing to show any difficulty. Sorrow churned through her, but she pushed it down. Jieti didn't cry. Looking up to the dark, tree top covered sky, she forced a smile. Then she spun about and shouted at his back. "Don't scare them too badly! Try to smile a little! Not too much though! Pick me up something good to eat! And, do your best without me but don't worry, soon we'll be protecting others together!"_

"_OVER MY DEAD BODY! NOW GET TO THOSE CHORES YOU BRAT!" He bellowed, not turning._

"_Dumb Kaw-" "I CAN STILL HEAR YOU."_

"_Come bunnies, let's find you a friend." "I SAD NO FRIENDS!"_

_Yumi rolled her eyes. He always said mean things but he loved her. She just knew it.]_

"Um" Hiiro's head popped back up hesitantly to Jun. "So-" Feeling a need to try, Hiiro struggled past the void within her. "Uh." Her eyes lingered as her brain racked to come up with something. Finally, she landed on what Jun talked about so often. "Will… you be able to make any teas out of any of these plants?"

Immediately, Hiiro found herself rewarded as Jun's rouge colored lips pulled into a delighted smile. Her shoulders lightened as she leaned forward. Her hands moved as she immediately began pointing out what she valued and loved to share. "The lemon balm we planted in that bed makes a tea. Cardamom is also over there and that I use in breads, scents, and brewing. The raspberry plant we'll need to prune in a few weeks, is good for tea. We can make jams from its berries. And we have rhubarb, as you know. But what we are planting here isn't for tea but meals like kale, beets, spinach, tomatoes, lettuce, cabbage, more cabbage, my-husband-loves-cabbage-cabbage, and then peas that my sons still refuse to eat." Grinning then pointed to different rows and mounds. "Oh and I'm trying squash and beans again, but last several years the salty air seemed to get the better of them."

Hiiro frowned as she searched to references in her blank mind. "Plants don't grow everywhere?"

Jun's hair bounced as her eyebrows went up in realization. "Oh, sweetie. No… There's plants in most area but they won't be the same. See here we are salty. Now we are lucky because most of our soil is good, but as you get to the shore line, in the sand, that drains too quickly and is even more salty. Thus for us to have a garden in the sand, like you would like, will take a lot more preparation or we'll just have to find what plants do well under those conditions. Now with prep-work like the raised bed-" Her hand went over to the boards and garden bed that was five inches higher than the others. "- and composting, irrigation, fencing, or putting down different materials you can make just about any area what you need. There's limit of course, but one of the reasons I like gardening is it's good for the soul and its fun figuring these things out. Shuzo is good with medicine but I'm better at crafts and soil." Jun laughed to herself, eyes bright.

Hiiro bobbed her head, words floating without reference floating through her head. Her mismatched eyes turned sideways to the ocean. "So, to have a garden in the sand, isn't impossible?"

Hiiro returned her eyes to the ground, digging out the trenches for Jun to plant the correct seeds in. Each scoop of soil felt more difficult than the last. A garden in the sand was probably impossible. But why did this feel important to her? Emptiness after emptiness bloomed inside of her like ripples in water from the falling rain.

"No." Jun's tone lightly gave encouragement, but not enough to stop the rapidly expanding voids within her. "But most likely we will need the boys help. Maybe we can go to the village to sell a few more dresses and then pick up supplies in the meantime."

Still Hiiro kept working, causing Jun to momentarily frown, before she decided on an even better option. "Why don't we make it another girls day? Hm? I would like that at least. It would make me happy if you joined too."

That paused Hiiro. She stared intently at her hands with scars she couldn't remember the source of. The one on her left that she could see on the back of her arm, while the one on the under side of her right she just knew it was there. The dirt up to her elbows looked like it belonged there.

"O-okay. I'd like another gir-girl's day with you." Hiiro leaned back on her knees, her hands clasped naturally in her lap."But-" A storm brewed behind her gaze. "-are you sure it's okay? They said-"

"People will always be like that, you have to learn to ignore them. Think of them as jealous, as shallow, as hurting themselves, as wrong, or dumb. And yes, I enjoy this time with you. I hope we can still be friends even after you remember or when you get a job and live somewhere else, hopefully nearby." The elder woman's eyes sparkled

Hiiro cocked her head, the ocean's waves naturally filling the silence. "Do you think I could live by the ocean?"

Jun laughed, "closer than we already are?"

Kuro hissed at the same time Hiiro nodded her head.

"I'm not sure Kuro likes that idea very much." With a warning tone, Jun glanced to the vicious creature.

"He'll be okay with it, I think." Unafraid Hiiro petted him while he hissed and clicked a few more times.

"Well, I wouldn't go against him." The elder eyed the creature that seemed to threateningly nod its head in agreement with her.

"Do you think I was by the ocean before?" The question fell out of Hiiro's mouth before she stopped it. Embarrassment and uncertainty flushed through her immediately, she knew they didn't know where she had came from. But it was too late to take it back. "I mean- I- It's just that I seem to like the ocean, and sand, you know."

"I know dear. Shuzo has posters in all the nearby villages and we put your photo in a local paper… But if you aren't from here, I don't know where else we should look."

"I know."

Jun frowned, wishing she knew who would know the young woman. "How about this, let's get cleaned up and have some tea cookies? Also, I need to get back to those dresses that I have orders for."

"Oh," a longing rose quietly through Hiiro. She had somewhat liked this, her hands coated in the sandy soil. "Um," uncertain she looked away. "Do you think I could keep working here? You, uh, could tell me what you want where?"

Surprise flashed on Jun's face, this was the second time Hiiro was wanting to do something on her own (the first, and most often one was sleep or go back to sleep). "That would be a big help to me."

The pride that was layered through Jun's voice, had sunk through Hiiro's skin. Still, she was only emptiness, wasn't she? Disbelief shook off the near moment of pride - "N-no. It's nothing."

"Look at these hands of mine dear." For the first time, Hiiro truly looked at Jun's hands. How her fingers were already bent as if she was about to pick up needles. "I have early arthritis, sewing, knitting, and dying does not hurt me yet but one day even those activities I will not be able to do as frequently. Digging in the cold soil like you have done and are volunteering to do now, truly helps me, sweetie. It's not nothing, it's saving me from pain."

The briefest feeling of familiarity flicked through Hiiro whose eyebrows were furrowed in thought and understanding. "I-I-" Hiiro tried to think what she could do for someone who had helped her so much. "I-" she was no doctor, no healer. "I can help more with the other things too, maybe… Not cooking though." Hiiro shot her eyes away as she remembered the pillar of smoke rising from the stove and how that pan had to be thrown away.

"Well that's a good thing because no one wants to eat the burnt charcoal, you call cooking." Jun's eyes sparkled in laughter.

Kuro fluffed his fur-scales out into spikes as if he was pleased with himself.

"Don't do that!" Hiiro scolded him, immediately, "it was you who turned the stove on high."

"He can operate the stove?" Jun glanced at the little monster as if he was in a new light. "Are you sure he's not a ninja companion, like some strange form of ninneko?"

Unexpectedly, Kuro jumped up from his resting position, razor sharp claws digging into the ground while his tail flicked dangerously. His insulted disposition hissed showing off the sharp hard ridges of his mouth. His egg shape head shook violently while spikes protruded from his body in all directions.

Hiiro stared calmly at the creature, as if she knew he would never hurt her, even though Jun had flinched back, her now white fingers tightly gripping her gardening apron.

"I'd say no from that, why do you think so?" Hiiro replied to Jun, surprisingly unaffected or maybe it should be normally unaffected.

Jun tried to smile and soothe her nerves, but couldn't. "Um-no reason." She shook her head, the natural fear of death still coursing through her.

As yet another hope fell and disappointment rose, Hiiro's face stayed blank. Her fingers brushed over the bracelets, the grains of their construction pulled her back from the edge of emptiness she held within her.

Jun noticed the change in the young woman, how her question though innocent held the deeper question she so wanted to know- who am I? With a quiet sigh, she wished she and her husband knew. It was hard to believe no one was looking for this young woman unless she truly had escaped from something horrendous. And, if her past had been so horrible and traumatic, wasn't this better? Couldn't this be her fresh start?

"Hiiro," Jun settled herself enough to notice the young woman now held an expressionless look yet again. "Do you want to come inside with me or do you still-"

"I want to finish this." Hiiro replied, coming back to from the apathy she had fallen back into. Purposefully she scoped up a handful of the sandy soil, "Maybe I was a gardener before." Her gaze stayed downwards so not to risk more disappointment.

"Maybe." Jun wanted only to affirm the young woman, "you seem to have a knack for it."

Again uncertainty shook off any sense of happiness or pride such a statement should have given her. Barely nodding her head, Hiiro rubbed the soil between her fingers. "Maybe."

"Here let me show you where everything goes and then I'll trust you to it, okay."

"O-okay." Hiiro again sat back, her eyes open open while her mind reached for familiarity. It grasped for recognition she would need, and it found none. "Uh, wait." Without memories or prior knowledge, she didn't want to make the same mistakes she had while trying to cook. "L-let me- uh." Hiiro pulled a small notepad and pen out of the dark green dress's pockets. "Okay, ready."

Jun kindly smiled and said nothing about the notebook that Hiiro had used ever since that kitchen incident. Dutifully, Hiiro jotted notes as she talked explaining about companion and succession planting. She sketch grids as Jun went over plant spacing and why it was important on how plants were laid out by their heights so not to accidentally shade or overgrow each other. She placed short hand side notes back through what she had already written when Jun went through depths.

"Questions?" Jun asked with a smile, "and remember, if you are uncertain it's just a garden - just like that pan was just a pan."

Dumbly Hiiro nodded. "If I think of anything, I'll come ask." She had felt stupid asking how to turn on the stove before, and when Kuro had gotten it, she had said nothing about it.

"Okay and thank you-" Jun noticed how her words made no impact on the young woman who was vacantly staring at the garden bed. "Salt," she added force into the woman's name, drawing light back into those observant eyes. "Thank you, this really helps me out."

With a ghost of a smile, Hiiro nodded causing Jun to feel a bit better about leaving the young woman alone. Maybe she needed a bit more space and at least it wasn't her sleeping or staring as if her soul had already gone out into the sea

With Jun gone, Kuro headbutted Hiiro in the leg. "Hm?"

He clicked and cocked his head to the side, as if she was supposed to understand him.

"Do you know if I was a gardener before?" The beast huffed and curled back up, bored.

"Do you think, you could help me find the others I was with before - family or friends?" Hiiro asked as her hands dug back into the soil.

As if insulted, Kuro uncurled and made himself look larger to her. He proudly displayed his head right and then left, then he sat as if he towered over her even at his cat-like size.

Hiiro's eyes flashed up to Kuro and back to the task at hand several times. "Were we alone before?"

Kuro snorted dismissively.

"No one is probably waiting for me either," Her eyes went to the inside of her arm where that long scar was. She knew what her face looked like, her neck, her stomach, chest, legs, and even feet. Maybe no one liked her because she looked like this. Maybe before Jun she hadn't known how to dress like she was learning now…

Kuro's eyes narrowed, he snorted once, then twice, then three times. Huffing he puffed his spikes out in all directions. As if anger rolled through him, he steamed as heat rose out of him. Finally his tail came down onto the soil.

Surprised that he was actually going to help her, Hiiro watched in awe. But blade at the tip of his tail didn't scope up soil for planting, it scratched lines downwards. Annoyed, two words formed - Sand Man.

Shock compounded in Hiiro. Shock beyond shock flew her up to her feet. Words didn't form in her head. They didn't come out of her mouth. Lacking, she blinked trying to know if she had known. Her mind whirled as she stared at Kuro who had written. Not even questions about what he had written came to her, only the fact that he could write!

Pissed, Kuro swiped the word away and leapt onto her shoulder in a single bound. Careful to not hurt her, he walked across her shoulders and tried to curl about her neck.

"You-" Hiiro pointed at him, who she could only see by turning her head and peering down at him. "You-" how many weeks had gone by? "You-" how many questions did he have the answers to? "You… You can write?"

Hiiro blinked as reality hit her. "Do-" a fear of disappointment briefly taunted her insides. "Do you know who I am?"

Refusing, Kuro just turned his head away. It was bad enough to think of that man again. Silence and an existence of more unknowns met Hiiro.

"Can you only write the Sand Man?" Hiiro more asked herself than him. Slowly she lowered herself back down.

As her hands worked, her mind wondered.

Sand man. Who was the Sand Man? A friend? Family? Another like Kuro? Or was the Sand man the one who made the scars on her? "Did he-"

Hiiro wasn't sure she wanted to know. Too many times she looked at something, Kuro's tail, Shuzo's scalpel, Jun's kitchen knife, Naoki's fillet knife, Taree's small fishing spear - and wondered if an object like that had caused her scars… Would knowing make it any better? Was this man after her? Hiiro's heart beat heavily. "Did he- was he- who-" Hiiro stared at her scars, they hurt when they healing but that had to be nothing compared to what they had felt like when they had been carved into her. "Hurt me?"

Immediately Kuro's eyes popped open enrage at the thought, the memory she didn't have. Aggressively he jumped off and shook his head, spikes again in all directions. His tail aggressively wrote one single word, _NEVER._

His hiss sent birds in all directions. All, but Hiiro, felt a shudder down their spines. Even those nowhere near, suddenly felt as if a bad omen was on its way.

Hiiro with no reference to why she had just caused Kuro to act the way he was, blinked.

Kuro prowled towards her; he didn't know where the Oni was but he'd do better to stop it next time. He'd do better if it came again; part of him thought of returning, if it had retreated back to there and then his Not death wouldn't be in the middle of it again, not as unexpectedly as she had.

"So he's-" Kuro's tail gently tapped on her bracelet, the one colored like dried blood. It tapped as he nodded his head, and tapped, and tapped.

Hiiro's eyes went to them. They were the only other thing she had woken up with, him and them. "He's good then." She decided, her hand going to the bracelets she so often found herself feeling.

Kuro snorted as if disgusted, refusing to have to think more on soon-to-be-dead things and that horrible incident with the Oni getting through the gate near his Not-death, he moodily stalked away and curled up in the garden bed corner.

Hiiro stared at the annoyed cat like thing. He had written. The sand man, he had written. Never, he had written. And now, he was done writing. She had more questions; should they go to him? But with the more questions, were more things she didn't know; how did one travel? Her head tilted downwards back to the garden. Jun's words, one of the few things she had, gave her something. She'd do this first: finish the garden.

Jun had said it helped her, there had been the briefest sense of familiarity. Maybe she was a gardener. Maybe the sand man had been a client? Or a friend? Maybe that's why she liked the sand, why she was curious about a garden in the sand… But how could she know? What did she have but Kuro and these bracelets? Hiiro tucked the words Sand Man into the back part of her brain. To not make the same mistake she had cooking, she knew she needed more information.

…

* * *

...

"Jun," Hiiro had thought this question over a thousand times, "d-do you know a Sand Man?"

On their walk down to the village, Jun turned her head towards Hiiro while still managing to walk. It was a coordination feat, Hiiro was still working on, the limp from her left leg normally, literally, tripping her up. "A Sand Man? Like kids playing in the sand and making a man?"

Hiiro took her eyes off the path, and nearly stumbled. Kuro clicked annoyed, causing her to stare at him rather than the confused Jun.

"Is that what you are referring to?" Jun asked gaining no response as the young woman starred off with the small devil.

Hiiro tried to read Kuro to know if that's what he had referred to, but the cat-beast just smugly tilted his head up. "I- I don't know. I had assumed it was a man."

"Did you hear this somewhere?"

"No-" Hiiro didn't know if she should explain, Kuro didn't really seem to like anyone but her. "I-" She paused, uncertain. If Kuro didn't give her more, how would anything come from what he had written? She had burned dinner to charcoal, how could she find a sand man? Would she even known him if she saw him?

"Did you remember something?"

"I-, I don't know." Hiiro felt inadequate, always inadequate. So many questions she didn't even know to ask. Maybe she was like the sand man, not even a person?

"I'll ask Shuzo about it, Naoki and Taree too. Maybe they will know of a Sand Man or someone called that."

"O-kay." Hiiro didn't want to have hope only to be disappointed with nothing again, but still it tugged at her. Maybe, maybe, maybe - it whispered silently within the emptiness that called for something, something she couldn't remember.

"So, thought about colors?"

"Colors?"

"For your nails!" Jun smiled as if she was young again. "I am thinking lavender."

"I don't care." Hiiro trudged slowly behind Jun.

"Come now, you have good tastes. They have pinks, blues, purples, reds, greens- I expect you to pick one once we get there." Jun pushed Hiiro a bit, wishing the young woman to grow a bit more in confidence. She felt pride in how far Hiiro had come from the catatonic state she had woke up in.

Under the scarf, Hiiro bit her lower lip. Today she had picked out a yellow dress with long sleeves so she wore no shawl, purple and gray swirling scarf covered her mouth up to above her nose, and a flowery eyepatch hid her gray-clouded eye. "Silvery, light gray."

Jun smirked. "Sounds beautiful. We should get our hair done too."

Hiiro's head jerked. "Won't it bother them?"

To get her hair cut, her scarf needed to be removed. Those that saw her face often gasped, horror reflecting in their eyes.

"Then we'll find someone else, okay? Listen, some people will only look at your skin. Some will only look at your face. We don't dress up to hide or show off, we do it because we want to. If all they see is the dress, that's on them. If all they see is your scars, then let them. It doesn't make you any less; it will never make you less."

As if he agreed, Kuro clicked.

Hiiro let the elder woman's words hang in the air. If she, who knew nothing, bothered people, then wasn't that bad? But Jun was saying to ignore them, and Kuro, he didn't like others anyway. Lost, her hand automatically found her bracelets.

"We are going to drop off the orders first. If you feel more comfortable hanging out outside then feel free there's a bench or if you want to come in with me, please do." Jun carefully hauled up the wardrobe bag.

Half a step behind, Hiiro followed Jun into the village. Her single eye slowly scanned as she felt her heart beat increase. She watched the villagers wary eyes follow her. A few turned to each other to whisper, a number of children pointed. Not wishing to cause Jun's business trouble, Hiiro slowed her pace even more. Choosing to close herself off, she let her eye find other things.

A large clay pot with intriguing designs carved into it was an easy distraction from the curious and concerned gazes. Tall, vibrant flowers stood proudly above the pot, making the shop's display only a head shorter than she was. Yellows, pinks, and oranges were layered in with large dark green as well as thin bright green leaves scattered about. It smelled sweet and full of life.

"You going to check out the flower shop? I'll meet back up with you here, then?" Jun noticed her absence.

"Okay." Hiiro didn't really know about going in the shop, but it was better than walking across town.

"Thirty minutes?"

"Yes." Hiiro mentally just decided to not wander too far, not that she had any place to go nor desire to wade further into the unknown.

"Enjoy window shopping."

_Window shopping_. Hiiro glanced towards the storefront, her mind shuffling through the memories she didn't have. Somehow she knew what window shopping was but surely this wasn't the first time she had ever done it alone. Surely, something could trigger a memory within her. But staring at the flower shop, nothing came to mind.

The welcoming, bright, lovely flower shop drew her full attention. The door held a 'OPEN' sign but at the top of it's glass she could see a bell that would ring. If she entered, would they ask her questions she didn't know the answers to? Would they too look at her with concerned in their eyes or a frown on their face? Would she ring the bell entering, only to turn right back around, ringing it again, and bring even more attention to herself.

Staring at the soft blue cut flowers, Hiiro felt swept away by her own thoughts. There was no way she could enter this shop, even if she wanted to- she just didn't know how. 'Where are you from', she didn't know. 'What do you do', she didn't know. 'What do you like-'

Stomach twisting, Hiiro sharply turned away from the window. Heavily she left the main street, eyes combing her as she limped out of sight. Mind clouded, a hard bump knocked her shoulder back nearly tripping her off her feet.

"Heeyy bitchhh, watch it!" Kuro hissed now suddenly on the roof directly above a towering man swayed.

"-orry." Hiiro looked at him only long enough to notice the brown papered bottle and greasy slicked back hair. Her eye then went to Kuro, hoping he'd just jump back on her shoulder and not run his way around town.

"Wwaaittt, a minute doll." A heavy hand came down on her shoulder. Tension jerked her spine straight as he forcefully spun her to face him. Frozen, Hiiro didn't know what to do as the man grinned. Deep in her, she knew she needed to run but she couldn't. Even if she tried, she limped; her footsteps were too heavy, her movements the complete opposite of agile. Fear clawed into her heart.

And then, with a hissing growl, a claw also wrapped about his neck-

The man went pale while Hiiro blinked just once at the sight before. Kuro stood on two legs, with four arms and long sharp claws on each one. His bulbous head held jaws that could easily crush skulls in a single all consuming bite.

And she knew. Deep in her, Hiiro knew. This man was dead-

"No!" A woman's voice called out. "Don't!" She demanded.

Kuro hissed back at her. It had been her voice. The man fainted as Kuro's claw squeezed, blood trickled from the new lacerations on the man's neck. Hiiro's stomach dropped at the sight.

_[Wet, she was soaked. Blood, it was all her blood. It didn't drip from her, but poured. The tentacles speared through her one after another. Barely defending herself, she'd heal blood soaked, the ground dyed red. And then Salt and her would counter with such force thousand of lacerations opened upon across her skin as the chakra burst out, pulling in. Screaming past the pain, believing there had to be a way, blood rained down. Her. Blood. Everywhere it was hers and yet no matter how much of this thing she observed, it kept attacking. And more of her blood fell. Still, she couldn't give up. Blood, so much blood - how many bodies worth had spilled out from her? If it wasn't for Salt, she would already be dead. The thing was too much to absorb without bursting at the seams. It didn't stop attacking, through her head, her arm, her lung, her legs, crushing her bones, piercing her flesh. And yet Salt didn't give up, couldn't give up. Yumi didn't give up as pain flogged her continuously. How much blood can someone lose before there's nothing left?]_

"K-kuro." In a whisper, Hiiro begged. A tremble shook her fingers and right leg. Her heart didn't want to beat, suddenly afraid.

With his not-death asking him to spare this soon-to-be-dead, Number 39 could not kill. Pissed, he threw the still living body to the wall. It crumbled to the ground, still, annoyingly, alive. Slowly he approached her. One of his claws went down on her head as he had done so many times when merged with that boy. She calmed, her eye looking to him as it should. Her heartbeat returned to normal, the trembling stopped. She didn't run, she didn't scream, and even the color in her face (that he didn't pay attention to) returned.

Number 39 felt annoyed as he remembered he wasn't the only one his not-death trusted. He shouldn't have told her about the sand man who dared to try to say he could protect her. But that sand man's sand had tried. It, when he couldn't get there fast enough, had put up one barrier up after another even when that man himself wasn't there. Hopefully, Number 39 could stay in this realm long enough for her to age and die… but if not, then maybe that sand man would be worthy enough to repay the debt he owed (for Number 39 not killing him as he should have). Again Number 39 considered briefly going back to the other side so he might hunt down the Oni and keep it from coming back to attack the not-death on this side again. But looking at her, he couldn't.

"You're bi-" right as Hiiro found words again, Kuro contorted until he was small again. Except, he was smaller. Instead of a large cat size, he was now a small one. Kuro looked up at her as she stared at him confused. "-smaller."

Holding out her hands, he jumped in them. "You're smaller." Hiiro repeated concerned. That couldn't be a good thing. Had it been because he changed? Did he need to eat more? Maybe she needed to feed him more, not complain so much when he killed…

"Hiiro! What are you doing here, this isn't a good place!" The desperation in the familiar voice caused Hiiro to spin about. Panic displayed itself on Jun's face. "What were you doing back here?"

"K-kuro-" "Tk! Tk, tk!" Kuro clicked interrupting her, causing her to go silent.

"Are you okay?" The elder woman looked up and down the young woman a couple times checking her over. Then she noticed the passed out drunk. Her nose wrinkled, "Come let's go. You really are okay, right?"

"Y-yes. Kuro just-" Again Kuro clicked, pausing Hiiro's original sentence until she fell on another. "Kuro was on the roof."

"Oh, is he okay?" Jun highly doubted the creature could be hurt easily. She found it more likely he'd do the hurting.

"Y-yes, thank you." Hiiro glanced once more to the body laying on the ground. She had suspected Jun to say something about him, but she hadn't.

"Ignore him, it's better when he's passed out." Jun glared at the body, before looping arms with Hiiro. "Shall we go get our nails done?"

Hiiro nodded, glad to be back on the main street. Kuro had changed, he had almost killed that man. She, unafraid, had stopped him. But blood, did blood make her squeamish? Had it always or was it because of what caused her scars. And most importantly - Kuro was smaller. But he would be okay, right?

"Let's go, Kuro." Hugging Kuro just a little tighter, Hiiro changed her mind on what color she'd have her nails painted.

Teal, like the sky. The same sky that had crowned Kuro's head while he had stopped that man, saving her. The same sky she hoped for tomorrow when Kuro would wake up back to normal size. A light, bright, teal.

The street changed as they came out of the alley. The worn decrepit stone became clean and obviously maintained. The off-smell of the side street vanished, replaced by fresh baked breads, grilled meats, and dancing perfumes. Compliantly she followed two steps behind Jun, Kuro nicely curled in her arms. A ball rolled out in front of them, a small boy right behind it. Without noticing Jun, the kid dashed right in front. He surpassed the ball, spun, and kicked.

It soared right into Hiiro's head. Lights flashed across her vision as she stopped stunned. Kuro hissed pissed, crawling to get out of Hiiro's tightened grip.

"Hiiro!" Jun exclaimed, surprised.

"Ah!" Hiiro focused on Kuro, who was about to leave her. "Stay with me."

Soured, Kuro stopped struggling to get to the kid. He could easily get him later, every one eventually died. His not-death was the only exception, one day she'd rise to the top. One day, she and the Oni would met again. She'd be stronger, walking proudly through it's gate to to take her rightful place, his apex... Huffing, Kuro turned away unable to stand the sight of the soon-to-be-dead child any longer.

:ey you! Say your sorry!" Jun whirled towards the boy, her fists on her hips, her eyes narrowing down.

"Ssoorry," Embarrassed his eyes went up and head away, a hand popped onto his head to rub the back of his hair. Slowly his brown eyes turned back to her, with her eye patch, scarf over her face, covered arms. From the back of his throat he muttered, "I didn't mean to hurt you lady, sorry." His eyes went down.

Unconfident, Hiiro hesitantly looked at the boy noting his every detail. Had she been like him? Played ball with friends? Ran in the street? Kicked something into someone? Laughed? Been told to say sorry? She didn't know. Looking at him, nothing in her head sparked.

Uncomfortable the kid frowned, "I didn't kick it that hard anyway." He crossed his arms and glared at her.

"That's good." The words from no where passed through her lips. If this was not that hard, then the boy's hard would have truly hurt her. He had been considerate... Her head bobbed. "Thank you."

A startled look crossed the boy, before he frowned even more deeply. Snorting, annoyed, the boy's gaze went passed them. "Yo, I'm done with this place - let's go to Tyson's yard." With one last glace to them, he walked through them us if unbothered, chest puffed up.

Jun turned towards her as the kids moved away. "Are you okay?"

Without thinking, Hiiro nodded. Had she been a kid like them? She had to have, right?

"Good. Why don't we get some Imagawayaki?" Jun smiled, "that always makes me feel better!"

Hiiro's eyebrows creased as she tried to recognize if she liked or wanted this imagawayaki.

"Come," holding out her arm, Jun invited Hiiro forward. Within a few steps her arm went about her shoulders gently. "There's a stand this way."

A bright cart smelled of fried food, sweets, and red bean. A man dropped filled balls of dough into frying oil until they were golden brown.

"A red bean paste filled one, please." Jun ordered with ease. Hiiro glanced at the man's sign reading custard fillings, chocolate, jam, and pastes. Not a single word meant more than another. Letters strung together to form words, none of which meant anymore than another. Staring at the board, Hiiro froze while her mind scrambled to pick. It scrambled to have a point of reference for this imagawayaki item. Did she use to eat these? Once in a while? Everyday? Never had before? And if she did which flavor did she like? Which did she know?

"Hiiro?" Everyone stared at her, awaiting.

"Red, red bean paste one." Hiiro copied Jun who beamed at her immediately.

"I love this one, best of them all." Jun gave the man coins to pay for their order.

Hiiro nodded as if she agreed, but she still didn't know yet if she had ever one of these before or not.

Jun accepted the two hot packets each with one fried filled dough sphere. "Thank you. Here you go Hiiro."

"Th-Thank you." Hiiro awkwardly held the paper packet with Kuro in her bite.

"They are best fresh, but be careful it's hot." Jun glanced across the main street, her mind filled with memories Hiiro couldn't relate to.

Walking towards the salon, Hiiro waited until Jun took a bite before gingerly taking her own. The golden crisp bread was delicate and warm. Taking a slightly larger bite, the sweet red bean paste filled her mouth and Hiiro froze. The paste coated every inch of her mouth and tongue in a flavor she wanted out. Forcing herself to swallow, Hiiro held the fried item dumbly.

"Like it?" Jun glanced back with a very happy grin.

Her head nodded, not wanting to give Jun a wrong response. The older woman liked it, so obviously she would want her to like it too.

Warmly she was met with a smile that wouldn't have happened if she hadn't nodded. "Good, I'm glad."

Again Hiiro nodded right before Jun turned forward to navigate them to the Salon. Naturally, Hiiro let herself fall two steps behind the woman, both their long skirts swaying as they walked.

With a tap she gained Kuro's attention. "Here." She held the filled sweet bun out to him. His beady eyes narrowed as his head cocked to the side. His tail poked it once, twice, and then wrapped around it and flung it from Hiiro's hands. The imagawayaki flew high, far beyond Hiiro's sights.

The red bean paste dough plopped on the boys head; it's fried bread and and filling split all over his hair and spilled down his face.

Horrified, his hands immediately launched up into the dark red paste that dripped down. "What the!"

Within Hiiro's arms, Kuro chirped pleased.

...

* * *

...

**Review?**

**Thoughts on Hiiro? Kuro? Jun?**


	3. Chapter 3: Instinctual Lure and Fear

**Aye - sorry sorry. Please review, it helps me. Thank you to Lazarith, Gracie Rose, and RainyDayWritings! I'm going to try to stick between 4,000-10,000 words to post a little more quickly. Most likely it will be once a every week to week and a half. (Again reviews help!).**

**RainyDayWritings - Hiiro doesn't remember much of anything yet. The _[This moments]_ are more fleeting feelings to her.**

**And soooo I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**  
**Cheers**

**\- Rain**

* * *

Kuro's tail rocked his not-death, her hands annoyingly curled into her face. Her nails were painted the color of that sand-man's eyes. He should kill that soon-to-be-dead-sand-man, just for that. How could his not-death that didn't even remember him who raise her, remember part of that-pathetic-mortal!? Anger churned in the shingami, but there was something worse. He felt the other side. Having morphed in this world, he felt the call to return. Death was normal, this land of breathing soon-to-be-deads was not.

Tilting his little head back he scanned across the sea. His gaze focused. He sent a single thought out. _Come, or I'll hunt you down and slaughter you all._

The sea itself shuttered and the hiding spirits crept forward. Ghosts that hadn't crossed as they were supposed to, souls that made the eerie red and greens in the sky, that thumped and swung objects unnaturally, that caused the feeling of someone/something there… They disgruntedly, fearfully crawled through the air.

_Rock her. Scare her and I'll wipe out your lines - dead, living, passed over_. He forced that feeling through them. The air itself shuttered before it brightened and warmed. The damp night suddenly felt better as they all tried to appease the Death God, not wishing to be torn from where they haunted nor killed, nor their lines slaughtered.

_ROCK HER._ Immediately her hammock rocked on her own. Kuro gleamed with vicious intentions.

Silently, he killed every living creature he came across as he headed towards the village. A fox - dead. Birds - dead. Snake - dead. A poor villager not yet home - dead. Death was where everything belonged. He clambered on one roof to another. Cat - dead. Dog - definitely dead.

The man who had grabbed her slept silently inside one of their houses… Now Dead.

Number 39 waited. He felt the pull to return this spirit to the other side. He felt the need to seek out souls and pass them to where they belonged. It itched on his skin to the point he had to flex his scales into spikes, and even that didn't relieve it.

Death was normal. Death was all. Death was what he was supposed to do. And yet he forced himself to remain. He let the man's soul waiver before him, pinned to this point by his tail.

In the air, unseen by the soon-to-be-deads, unseen by any who were not dead, A shinigami appeared. Claws like sickles, multi-eyed, and yet blind, it was Shingami number 51.

Not a number, Number 39 had a preference for. Not a number he wanted gone either..

_Request - Number 4_. Number 39 pushed the thought through

_Two should not take one._ Number 51 pushed back, implying because 39 was here no other Death God was needed.

_This one to go to the level of the Oni or below._ Number 39 hated this spirit that had attacked his broken not-death.

_The Oni is still missing. The demons are coming up from the fourth through seventh levels below…._

His disformed-hijacked black cat body shuttered. The Oni was not back!? It was not on the other side?

Number 39 remembered. He remembered the fear, the first and only time he felt fear. The Oni had returned through that gate. It had went after his not-death. He had convinced the spirits within the soon-to-be-dead woman to sacrifice a cat to him. He remembered her body attacked. Again, and again, and again, and again - the oni pierced her, it stabbed her, it hooked her. No matter how she moved, how she ate, how she recovered, it slaughtered her. No matter how he tried to pull her free, away, stop it - he could not. Light vanished briefly as she fought. Her face reflected her spirit near its breaking point. Her body far past it.

And then the whispers chanted, the gate temporarily shuttered, and his not-death discharged almost everything she was - And light turned the night into day. A light that rivaled the sun, that paused his every thought… And the Oni escaped back to the other side - or so he thought.

And he, afraid it'd come back, stole her away before anyone could see. He took her to where he found the boy, to where he originally crossed at the call of that axe.

But… _Not there!?_ Number 39 didn't feel the Oni here, so how could it be not there!? Was it hiding, waiting to attack again. The Oni would kill, strongest to weakest. The wall between the lowest, worse levels and the first two - shinigami and souls, the Oni was the current apex.

Prying the soul out from under Number 39's tail, Number 51 rattled his head in no. _It's making a mess. The demons are pushing up. Soon they will affect here too - Long reign the dead, and the cycle. Stay cautious. They wish to affect the living._

Disturbed, Number 39 felt annoyance. Yet again his time with his not-death was being cut short. He could feel the other side pulling him back, but worse he couldn't feel the oni. If the demons came through here, would his broken not-death be strong enough? What about those she liked that he stole the memories from? His not-death would be sad if they were erased from existence… But worse than all of that. Worse than the thought of having to give her to the care of that incompetent-soon-to-be-killed-by-him-one-day,-Sand-man… the death god chilling thought was that the Oni was hiding somewhere.

It would want his not-death. Of course it would, his apex. But where was it? What level of of the other side would it hide? Where would it find a gate to here? A hijacking like he did? A portal that some suicidal, soon-to-be-dead opened? Chills went down his small body to the point he needed to kill more.

He went to find another. He needed to send a message to that terrible, horrible, unworthy, sickness-inducing, sand man… The mortal owed him two debts. It was time to pay.

Number 39 had an Oni to find… Where could it be?

* * *

The teal was distracting.

Out of the corner of her vision, it call to her. Her hand would move and it would yet again catch her attention. Always alluring, always drawing her in. Almost like it held a secret.

Hiiro frowned not understanding. Did she always have this affinity for teal? Or was it just because her nails were so brightly painted and she wasn't use to that?

All day yesterday the teal seemed to lure her. It charmed her, distracting her. It kept her from thinking about that alley, the man who had grabbed her, Kuro who had shrunk, the fact she didn't like Jun's favorite color… As if she was expecting there to be something, she kept refocusing on it.

Was she drawn to it because it was the color of the sky over the ocean? Or was it something she just couldn't remember?

Hiiro just didn't know. That void within her gave her no hint. The iron doors in her head remained locked shut; whatever memories she was supposed to have were barred behind them. Only the ring of constant emptiness was tangible to her mind, everything else was a unendurable pit or an incarceration she had no access to.

While today was supposedly a nice February spring day, Hiiro could only sigh. Jun acted like she felt better with the new warming season. Instead of thinking of how she wasn't any more healed or how she still couldn't remember, Hiiro focused on the pale bright teal teal. Even when they had dyed cloth and yarn, it refused to be hidden. And now as they hung the garments, it held constant as if it knew something she didn't-

"Do you think Teal was my favorite color?" Gingerly, Hiiro traced the color with her thumb.

"It could have been. Do yoouuu think teal was your favorite color?" Jun paused her work to witness the younger woman yet again staring at the nail polish she had selected all on her own.

Hiiro let her eyes slide back to the ocean's shoreline. She didn't want to guess. She didn't like to guess. She was tired of everything being a guess. Blank, what could she know-

"If you think it was," Jun refused to let the woman ignore her question any longer, "maybe that's your gut telling you it was."

"My gut? You think my stomach remembers?" The question rolled off her tongue without thought.

"Gut instinct."

"Oh," Hiiro allowed her mismatched eyes to go back to Kuro again. His sudden change in size was what she really didn't want to think about.

Gut instinct told her him being smaller was not a good thing. Her being awake for a little under a month and him now smaller was truly not a good thing. Even if she tried to dye him teal or painted all his nails or spikes, she wasn't sure she'd feel better about his new size. It really could not be a good-

"So, do you think teal was your favorite color?" Jun interrupted Hiiro's spiraling feeling.

Hiiro turned her head to the dark red, purple, and green dripping cloths and yarn strands. Red, she remembered Kuro's claws around that man's neck. Red, blood dripped down from his neck into the collar of his shirt. Red, the iron lock and barred door in her mind shook. He too would now have scars. The door rattled quietly raising the hairs on her arms. Something had wrapped about her neck- The thought vanished as quickly as it had come, imprisoned away with no traces of it left in her emptiness.

"I don't like red." Hiiro glanced towards the dark color, unsure.

"That's something, right?" The lightness of Jun's voice drew Hiiro's gaze. The elder stacked the empty, baskets. They still dripped, wet from cloths and strands they had carried.

As Hiiro brushed her hand on her bracelets; her fingernails drew her gaze yet again. She frowned, "can something be your favorite color even if you don't want it on your nails again?"

The elder woman's eyes sparkled as she couldn't help but grin at such a question. "Definitely."

Dumbly, Hiiro nodded in agreement. It would be less distracting to not wear teal on her fingernails again.

"So do you think teal is your favorite color? Jun wasn't going to let the topic go.

Hands stained, Hiiro gave her nails a hard thoughtful look. "Yes, it's handsome."

Jun tried not to laugh at the odd choice of words. "I'm glad you like it. It's nice to have a favorite color, isn't it?"

Hiiro yanked her gaze off the nail polish and then scanned up and down the elder woman whom she also came to like. Jun wore a variety of different colors, each day she wore different things though many not as bright as the ones Hiiro tended to gravitate towards.

"Do you, do you- have a favorite?" Hiiro blinked as she realized she ended her question too early, "color?"

"Strawberry red."

Hiiro's eyes flashed to Jun's face, tension immediately coursing through her. She had rejected Jun's favorite color!

Teal was all she had, someone rejecting it would be instantly rejecting her too! But, without thinking - she disliked Jun. She had said she disliked Jun!

"I-I-I-" Hiiro's brain froze unsure what to do. She could not dislike Jun; she had accidentally disliked Jun! "I- I'm- I-" Her brain searched for what it should do, for some memory, some experience that would tell her how to react.

"I-" Hiiro couldn't. "I did, didn't, I- When I- I mean… I" Concern and guilt folded through her.

"Iiiiii-" "You have your own likes, which is good." Jun interrupted obviously not concerned nor hurt at all. In fact, oddly, she seemed fine with it.

Confusion again chugged through Hiiro. If someone would reject her teal-

"You like different teas, different colors, and dislike them too - that's good. Makes the world better, don't you think? If we all liked the same tea, there'd only be one flavor and then what a sad world that would be, huh?"

Hiiro calmed, the vacancy that had felt so unbelievably daunting, receded. Mute, she simply nodded her head in agreement. If Jun said it was okay, then it was really okay, right?

"Now, talking about tea has made me thirsty so how about we have some mid-day tea, hn?"

"Rhubarb?" Hiiro tried.

"Only, if you promise to help me embroider this afternoon."

"Okay." But what else was there for her to do?

Kuro slinked beside them as they walked, baskets in hand. He was still noticeably smaller. For the briefest of moments, Hiiro wondered if she should find this Sand Man - if he or them or it would know how to help. If it could help Kuro… but she didn't know where to begin or how to start. Sand Man was too vague and Kuro hadn't written again no matter how many questions she asked.

Questions- questions with answers she couldn't know. Questions with answers she may never know… So many questions and unknowns.

It was better not to think of them. It was better to just hope that Kuro with a little food and maybe some teal, would get bigger again.

That gut instinct whispered, but the Iron door within her again slammed shut. Hiiro let all worrisome feelings float off into the empty void within her. The emptiness was better than worry.

Plus at least she had Kuro. And then, again, a flash of teal drew her gaze, ending the last of her worries.

* * *

...

_"I gave the world my heart and all I have to show for it are scars and nightmares.. I'm worthless, uncertain. The water, is rising..." - Shinigami (Occam's Razor)_

...

* * *

The full moon rose into the sky, it's dull milky light turned the still night into a ghostly day…

Hiiro fluttered, her dreams twisting under the bright moon light. She stirred. Something wormed into her heart, seizing her in panic. Terror inched through her veins; halted her breath; clawed her lungs.

In her dreams, rain started splattering on her hair. Her hand came up as pain screamed through her. Red. Wet. Blood.

Blood rained.

It was hers!

Panic-stricken, Hiiro threw the covers back.

Something was grabbing her. Something piercing her. Attacking her. Wanting to kill her!

What!? What!

She jerked, terrified. Her body flaying, she struggled with the blankets and the hammock's ropes. Confused, she fell with a bruising force.

Thud.

The iron door inside her mind cracked and closed shut yet again. There was nothing here. Just the eerie full moon light. The bright glow stretched across her room.

The full moon light-

Her mind clicked.

Her heart pounded.

Her nerves frayed.

Her blood poured.

A nervousness she couldn't understand coursed through her, washing away any logic or thought. Pain she couldn't remember, didn't want to remember, creaked within her. A shadow, under the full moon, stretched out like a boneless limb- And all Hiiro could think of was that she needed to get away.

The Moon was after her.

It was going to kill her! Something. _Something_. Something!

Mute, terrified, and afraid, Hiiro silently scrambled. Tears threatening to blur her vision she went to the only place she could think that's she would find safety-

Disturbed the the sight, Kuro chirped. He tried to use his tail to direct her. Each time he'd let her free. She reeked of her fear and his Not-death had never really feared... His not death had almost always met her fears. His not-death didn't run away. But now, before him, she did.

One dominating thought pounded through the morphed shinigami's brain - the Oni!

Set on protecting her, Kuro glanced left and right as his not-death ran. She scrambled out of the house, falling on the lawn. She ran towards the cliff as if to get away from something. Tripping again, she almost plummeted off the cliff's ledge.

"No. no. no. no." She muttered. The iron door in Hiiro's head silently shook. Her nails scrapped into the earth as her heart attempted to burst. Shaking her head wildly, she tried to dispel the feeling that the devil himself was gripping her heart. Tears wetted her cheeks as a hopelessness washed through her.

Something was coming after her. _Something_-

The bright eerie wax light elongated the nights' shadows to boneless deadly limbs. To haunt her, it laughed. It remembered. It knew. While fear gripped her entire soul, it laughed. The full moon wished to wipe out her existence. Again, and again, and again.

She felt it.

She knew it.

Looking at her scratched up hands and knees, that rusty iron door within her cracked open, it's chains creaked. For a moment she saw her whole hand, her whole arm soaked. Her blood soaked fingers curled into a fist, her bones were showing. Her flesh more cuts than skin. Blood didn't drip from her, it streamed out.

Pain flashed lights across her vision, and then she felt brief peace as the world seemed to dim to darkness. Then, another attack went through her hip, shattering it. Pain, never ending-

The iron door slammed shut, the moment returned lost into the void. And Hiiro was left numb and still crying.

"No." Briefly able to hear again, the ocean replied to her call.

Never affected, it continued. The ocean, Hiiro looked up to its horizon. Hope briefly fluttered. The ocean reflected the moon and still continued on. It was what woke her… It still, always, pulsed and surged, it's waves always rolled back and forth. As if it was infinet.

What if she just walked into it? Into its depths, could it hide her? Could it drown everything out? Would it fill the emptiness she had? Save her?

Hiiro struggled to her feet. Her nightdress had ripped. Stumbling she walked down the cliff with one thought. She wanted the waves. The waves- Only the waves-

That emptiness echoed within. It rung deep low silent bellows, cries of grief and rage.

Hiiro's feet tripped again, skidding her down four stairs. Again her shins and palms were bitten by the rock as she fell. The moon's light laughed as it tortured her with memories she didn't want. Her knee had busted out. Her arm almost ripped off. Someone had been pierced through the head, and somehow she too had become that way. It ripped through her stomach - it wanted to eradicate her. Torture her. Over, and over, and over. Her audacity at existing, it attacked wanting her dead-

Something. _Something_. Wanted her dead. The full moon was its ally. It would tell on her. It would give her away. Laugh at her agony.

Her soul- Trembled. Her entire body, trembled.

Waves- Her mind flashed. Hiiro rose back up.

Waves - Her mind begged. She ran. She would go straight into the ocean. She would stop this, then it would be done!

Kuro tripped her. Her hands and knees went down into the sand, blood mixing with its grains. Her mind flashed back to the rain she didn't want to remember. The door in her mind tightened down. Harshly she cried out.

"No!" She curled. Pain danced through her, haunting what she couldn't remember. Pain that set her teeth on fire. The moon shredded her soul.

Angrily Kuro paced before her. His egg shaped head shook at what was before him. His deadly jagged mouth opened. His tail whipped. His scales and fur changed into spikes. There was nothing! He couldn't feel the Oni, but what else could it be!? He didn't understand- How was it hiding!?

Hiiro couldn't' breathe, her mind flashing through memories she didn't have. Her body knew. Her soul knew. The pain. Again, and again, and again. Without remembrance, it replayed across her skin. It dug into her scars. Hurt in places that were scarless!

Tears streamed down her face as her every thing hurt. It was like she was dying on repeat. Her arms rose up as if she could block what was coming. And then in despair, they plastered her head down into the sand more, as they did nothing. Lights strobed across her vision, agonizingly pounding.

Breathe- she couldn't breathe!

It was the moon. She knew it. With all her heart, she knew it. The full moon... It had done this.

And the full Moon smiled, pleased.

Massive arms, blocked the glow. A body that was cold, replaced the air. Claws that were deadly. Spikes. An egg shape head. A frame of an ogre. Soulless, yet caring-

Four massive arms encompassed her briefly. Then, two of the arms let go to shovel sand onto her. The sand coated her skin, hiding her from the torturous light.

His tail made a ball shape and rolled it back and forth. It mimicked a swishing noise, a ripple. It matched the waves. Back and forth.

Sobbing, her anguish still churned through her. But in his arms, it slowed. Memories she could not recall, stormed through her. Flinching, she whimpered. Terrorized, she clenched and balled in Kuro's arms. She could not remember. Not even this, she couldn't remember

And yet, she felt such terrible fear.

Holding her as gently as a Death God could, Number 39 swore. He'd find the Oni and kill it. Some how. Some way. He'd find it and force it back to its level.

Cursing the rules that bound him, he held her sobbing frame. Holding her closer, he wished her to turn back into his apex. But the Oni had cheated. It had attacked her too soon, in this plane. How could she have stood a chance? The levels were supposed to be done in order from one to seven except the third. The great Oni, the wall between, was supposed to be last.

It had known to strike against her, and it did. Where was it? Was it the one who was doing this? He needed to go after it! But her, she'd have to-

Oh, that thought made him sick.

If Shinigami could get sick from thoughts, Number 39 would be puking out his dead existence. If Shinigami could get sick, he would be dead from this horrible thought. The face, the soon-to-be-dead-disgusting-horrible-not-that-great man that came to his mind. Again.

How many times in such few days must he think of that disgusting creature!? Why must this be the best option!?

He still remembered it was that soon-to-be-dead who dared to say he'd try to protect his apex. As if! As if she needed it! As if he, a death god, wasn't better!

Sickness turned to anger which turned to grief, all fifty-five stages of shinigami grief... Sick!

"Please. Please! Please." His not-death begged quietly rocking herself in his four arms.

A torture he couldn't save her from repeated in her head. An agony he couldn't stop, plagued her… Number 39, confused and uncertain just held her as that boy he had possessed so long ago would have half-way done. Silently he vowed to find the Oni that was still reaching out from somewhere. He'd take it back to the otherside and guard it's prison until his not-death returned to him to take her place as the apex he knew she was.

...

...

The sun rose. Hiiro cold with eyes swollen sat on the beach where she had fallen. Sand coated her arms and legs; it dirtied her face. A shrunk, rat sized Kuro, stewed moodily in her lap.

She picked at the teal coloring on her nails. So wrung dry of emotion, she chipped away at the paint. The ocean continued on as if nothing happened. The salt hadn't changed. And yet, she felt as if everything had died, again.

She didn't even know why… Just that it was the moon.

"Hiiro! HIIRO!" The young man's frantic voice only slightly moved her head. "Holy shit, are you okay!? Mom! Mom, She's here! On the shore!"

"Holy shit, Hiiro, Where were you!? We all were looking! What happened!?" Naoki bolted down the cliff stairs, clambering to get to her.

Numb, she returned her gaze to the ocean. The moon, she half trembled, before she let that thought go. Kuro, she again began to worry before that too was turned back into emptiness.

"Hey - you can't just run off! Do you know how worried we were!" He dashed in front of her, his face red with anger.

"Why not?" Hiiro glanced up to him. "Why can't I?" She should have walked into those waves, Kuro was like this because of her.

And yet-

Naoki's face contorted. "Because we care, you're staying with us! You scared my mom!"

Like a ghost of a memory, she felt her freshly laid scars. "Were you that scared?" Her voice held nothing. She had nothing left, nothing of the nothing she was...

"Of course! We care about you! We were scarred something happened!"

Happened- Hiiro felt melancholy lace tightly through her.

Happened, she couldn't remember what happened. Even with the moon striking horror through her, she couldn't remember.

"What were you doing out here?" The accusatory tone fell on her deaf ears

"Hiiro!" Jun's tone held the same concern. "Honey, you okay."

"Yeah, she's fine mom." A hurt expression plastered onto his face but Hiiro was in no state to notice, not that she ever noticed much about him.

Jun entered her line of sight, blocking the ocean she wished she had entered. The elder woman slowly, almost uncomfortably, crouched down. Her warm eyes carefully surveyed Hiiro's disheveled state. "Naoki, grab a cloak and bring it back here, please."

She shot her son a look the moment her boy opened his mouth with something that wasn't a 'yes mom'. Her eyes narrowed until he just glanced the young woman over with another concerned look before trudging away.

"Sweetie," Jun coaxed the young, again catatonic woman. "Did you-" she paused unsure if she wanted to touch upon such a tender topic, "-remember something?"

Hiiro blinked, numb.

The full moon didn't even leave her with that. She still couldn't even remember what had happened. What had scarred her so?

Hollow, how she still quivered.

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare? Or, I'll just sit here with you-"

Unsure, Hiiro just curled a little further around her little Kuro. Her chin rested on his tiny head.

Chipped teal fingernail polish stared back at her.

"I don't know. I don't remember. I must... have remembered… but I don't remember. I-"

A gentle hand placed itself on her knee drawing Hiiro's vacant eyes back from the abyss she had been looking into.

"The full moon." She whispered to the elder woman. It had hurt her, broken her.

Jun's browns wrinkled in confusion. "The Moon?"

Exhausted, Hiiro nodded. Emptiness within her rung. The full moon had been her judge and jury. Before it, she had known agony and pain. Who had been her excutioner and how was she here now?

Did that even matter? Hiiro mentally dispaired. Why was she even alive? Fear instinctively wrapped about her throat. The full moon would be back again. Was there any escape? And, because of her, Kuro was now smaller. What would happen next time? Would he die? Could _she_ die?

Emptiness dragged down her soul while salt from her dried tears lined her face.

* * *

**(If you remember these chapters from when I posted them on star-crossed, they are not the same at all. Not even going to go down the same.)**

**Please review.**

**Let me know your thoughts! Anyone got predictions!? Hopes? (probably hoping I don't kill Hiiro off again, considering Yumi's fate, huh? lol - too soon?)**

**We are up to 3 chapters now. This book has 3 Reviews, 3 chapters, 12 follows, and 7 favorites. Also, the Star Crossed Book is all of 4 reviews away from 200 reviews! So maybe I can get a few more reviews here and there? Maybe? *points fingers together* I know I've been missing, but I appreciate you all for stopping by.**

**Again - Review, if you can spare some time. ^-^**


	4. Chapter 4: Speak of the Devil

**Kira Kirya - Thank you for the review!**

**And all, I hope you enjoy today's Chapter!**

**Thanks,**

**\- Rain**

**...**

* * *

..

"Alright," Jun's tone caused Hiiro's slipper covered toes to stop the gentle rocking motion.

Two weeks later and Hiiro still didn't want to talk about that night. But that tone and the way she said 'alright', it meant Jun again wanted to bring it up- again. Hiiro's fingers missed a brightly colored stitch in her embroidery.

In two more weeks, the last week of March, there would be another full moon… As if he too was thinking of it, Kuro fluffed his fur-scales with an odd hum before curling back up in her lap.

Unwilling to face the fear, Hiiro resumed her rocking in the wooden chair. Her ears searched for the needed comfort of the ocean. Purposefully she kept her very covered face down. Pretending she couldn't hear, she continued to stitch away. Holding her breath, Hiiro begged time to stop. She begged that Jun would not ask about what had happened. Even if she wanted to talk about it, she couldn't - she didn't know anything more! All she knew was that the full moon wanted her dead.

Seeing the young woman's tense body language, June sighed. "Well-" The elder woman didn't give up. "Do you think you could tell me a few things you like?"

The unpatched eye landed on the shrinking gray body in her lap. "Kuro." She quietly answered before her eye flicked away towards the window. She sat still for two more rocks. "And teal."

"And..." Hiiro paused her mind searching for something. It flirted with the things she didn't recall. For the briefest of moments, she thought she had something more. But only a vast emptiness filled her.

She was nothing. Had nothing. Was no one truly looking for her- but if they were, wouldn't she feel that hope? The full moon made her wonder - should she even be alive? Her mind spiraled darkly - would it be better if she hadn't survived whatever it was she had survived?

Jun noticed. "Rhubarb tea? You like rhubarb tea. And gardening."

The dower covered girl drew her gaze up, the tiniest bit of light re-entered her eye. Slowly, uncertain, she nodded.

Jun smiled gently, recognizing that the full moon had triggered something. Something that stole most of the young woman's previous progress. Had she been tortured or attacked under the moonlight?

"What about watching the clouds?" Again Jun gained a nod. "And dresses?" A second occurred. "Oh, sitting in the sand." A double nod and a slight smile grew. "Ginger cookies?"

This time that smile brightened past her scars.

"How about…" Jun sing-songed as she smiled. "Sewing for me?"

Hiiro's nose wrinkled, accenting the scar on her cheek. "Eh."

"What about me?"

"I don't know." She went back to her work, unsure if Jun really did like sewing, considering half of it now seemed to go to her. She missed Jun's provoked look.

"You don't like me?" Jun clarified, pointedly narrowing her eyes. Her lips tight as she tried to neither frown or smile.

Hiiro glanced up, confused why Jun thought that. "I do… When you aren't asking me questions."

Boldly she spoke, and then suddenly she froze afraid. She shouldn't have said that! Why did she say that?

Jun smiled, unaffected. "Well, don't expect me to stop."

Hiiro relaxed, her smile fully returned.

"You know," Jun continued with her flowery stitch, "thinking might help you remember and questions help you think..."

Silently, Hiiro disagreed. Questions made her feel empty. How could thinking be helpful if there was no one to fill the void with answers? How could guessing be good when there was nothing within her?

"So what do you fear?" Jun went back to exactly where she wanted to originally go. Hiiro needed to ask why she was afraid of the full moon. Maybe it would help her think of something, some hint to help her know where she was from and who she was.

Hiiro's toes stopped the rocking again. Her chest tightened and her tongue grew until it felt too fat for her mouth. Staring at her bright colored stitching, she stayed perfectly still while her vision slightly blurred. Maybe if she didn't move, then maybe she wouldn't remember... Maybe if she stayed perfectly still, could she forget...

But Jun didn't forget nor did she give up as Hiiro wanted. "How about something small. Like falling? I'm afraid of that. Or Heights? Maybe, birds?"

Hiiro's gaze slowly lifted up to Jun's face, studying her. "Birds?"

"Some are afraid of them."

Hiiro stared uncertain.

Recognizing the young woman was no longer shutting down, June continued, " Or Clowns?"

This time Hiiro's face scrunched in slight disbelief.

"Or Snakes?"

Now that definitely couldn't be a real fear! This had to be another joke. "Why would anyone be afraid of snakes?"

"Oh? You don't think you are afraid of snakes?"

Hiiro confidently shook her head no.

"Well then, that's something."

"_Really_?" Who was afraid of snakes? Or birds? Or clowns?

"Yes. Many are afraid of snakes."

"I-" Emptiness returned her world to normal. "I… I didn't know."

"Well there's supposedly a large snake at the Hidden Leaf village and maybe the Hidden sound? So it could be you grew up near one of those villages and that's why?"

Hiiro felt nothing at the names of those villages, only more confusion. "Leaf and Sound?"

"They are ninja villages."

"I can't be a ninja. I don't even run."

"True, but there's civilians in those villages too."

"Is there a way to tell?"

"We could write them a letter. Maybe send a sample of your blood or hair? I know some new ninja and medical technologies can identify off those things."

Sudden Kuro jumped into a stand on her lap. His tail's blade whipped against her bangs. Wisps of hair were captured by his claw before his tail then wrapped about her arm, slicing lightly into it.

"Ouch!" Hiiro pulled her arm away surprised. Kuro leapt down and ran off. Minutes later, he returned with a blood written white cloth and a blank envelope.

"He wants us to send a letter!?" Jun stood abruptly. Maybe they were finally on to something!

Standing on his two back legs, Kuro nodded his head. _Et. Et. Et._

Hiiro for the first time in her short unknowing existence felt as if there was a place somewhere for her. "To leaf or sound?"

If Kuro was excited-

Kuro hissed violently. Angrily he laid the blood laced cloth down, his blade tail stabbing into it.

_Sand Man, a debt to be paid. We travel to your Sand. Prepare!_

Jun frowned. "There is a hidden sand village, but it is three or four weeks travel from here and quite an expense. You'll even have to travel on a boat. And sand man isn't enough to know who to address a letter to… Without more, it'd be unsafe to travel. But we could send this with a letter to their governing council, kage, or the region lord-"

Hiiro stared numbly, not listening to Jun. _a debt to be paid_...What debt? Did she owe a debt? Was that why the full moon wished for her soul?

Slowly she glanced towards Kuro, needing him. If they went to this Sand place, would he be better? Would the moon not follow?

Empty, she didn't know. Kuro was the only thing she had and he wanted to go. "We go." She spoke. Her unpatched eye lifted to Jun. "How do we get there?"

June frowned and Hiiro's hope churned into uncertainty.

As if he was proud, her tiny little Kuro sat just a little bit taller. A chirp responded to her, he would help her. He would stop the Oni that was haunting her. He would give her a pet even. He would, even if that pet made him _sick_.

Hiiro eye landed back on him. If Kuro thought they needed to go, then she would follow. Her voice showed her faith in him.

"To sand."

* * *

Gaara couldn't sleep, as normal. His dark red pants trailed across his sand laced floors as he walked into his kitchen. The infinite bottle of Sake that he could not seem to finish sat almost illuminated waiting for him.

_"Drink up!" Sitting in her wheelchair at a table she had set with presents, food, and cake, she grinned. He had felt a little awkward as she joyously fawned over his birthday. His 'thank you for talking with me on the roof' was all he had thought of to say. Her response of an ear to ear grin, immediately distracted him from just how full she was pouring his glass, again._

_"A few shots of sake. A piece of cake. Presents. More sake!" She clinked her glass to his, not even waiting for him to pick it up. Then she raised it and bobbed in a cheer again before drinking. His gaze had held locked on her sake laced lips that when not smiling were moving with conversation._

_Realizing he was staring, he quickly grabbed the overfilled glass and drank. The harsh liquid burned and reminded him of Kankuro's horrible bar trips or Naruto and that bouncy house. Worse - the Hokage; she drank the like Hokage._

_Determined not to repeat that event, he set his glass away from her. "Thank you." -She didn't notice how inadequate his words were or how long he let the pauses overtake. His awkwardness and lack of smile didn't even register to her. Instead she acted as if he was an important bond-_

_"Time for cake-" _Gaara shook himself from the memory.

His hand wrapped around the bottle's narrowed neck. With grace he poured himself only a quarter glass and then set the bottle back. The windows creaked in the darkness, signs that a storm was starting to brew. The waxing moon slipped behind the mounting clouds. Placing the glass to his lower lip, he willed himself to take a sip. But he did not.

_He had lowered himself onto the ground like her, a person's length away but close enough they could talk. The rest of the men joined with the women, most of the couples embracing or kissing. He was done with the guy's night out and hoping Yumi would go back with him. "Are you-" Her hands uncovered her eyes locked on him with an intoxicated, love-filled, gaze and grin. The question of ready to go, stopped in the back of his throat. "enjoying yourself?"_

_"Yes?" The automatic smile that she naturally gave felt less in comparison. It caused him to study her. With an exhale of seriousness he had to verify, "really?"_

_"Yes." She shuffled towards him, truthfulness in her tone. Briefly uncertainty flashed to her eyes. "Though... you don't mind that I'm last place, right?"_

The glass held there still full. He brought it back down. Last place in the women's show off competition, he had been informed of afterwards. 'But she was beautiful' had been their words as others attempted to empathize with him.

The sake glass as it always did felt empty and hollow. He never understood why others drank, why she did. Even as he did this routine each time he couldn't sleep, thinking of her, he still didn't quite understand. But still-

Gaara finally tipped the glass back. The liquid burned, coating his mouth with the mild nutty bitterness that he didn't enjoy.

_He stood before her righteously, wanting her to leave this war. He had been so certain that the best way to convince her to leave, to not be at risk or to end up being used, was to tell her what he had been afraid of before - "No, I don't love. I can't. I should have told you earlier. I am not someone you should love. So I understand if you want to hate me."_

The light in his kitchen dimmed before returning back on. It repeated flickering between dim and bright as windows rattled, wind pushing against them without the sound of sand pelting the glass. Frowning at how Suna had once again gotten the forecast wrong, Gaara set down the empty glass. With confident strides he went to his front door and opened it to inspect just how bad the flash sandstorm was.

The air was still. The night calm. The fattening moon sat proudly overhead while the windows were silent as if they had never shook. Stars twinkled normally without hint to the earlier racket.

Gaara frowned. Sand spun in his hand. Was this an attack? Not a single grain indicated an intruder. No ninja messages were sent. There was not even the smallest of changes in the patrols to give any hint of a disturbance.

Was he just that tired?

Frowning he returned inside. He heard of alcoholism affecting the mind but not a quarter of a glass a night.

His door clicked shut, his sand turned the locks. Out of the corner of his eye, the shadow of an ogre towered over him, blades in all hands, a deformed bulbous head in a jagged, killing smile. Rapidly his sand struck out, his head turned to gauge his enemy -

\- Nothing. Just his living room, shadowed from the moon lit sky. There was not a grain of sand anywhere out of place.

His sand coated forehead creased in a deeper frown. He had been certain he felt someone, but for it to be gone that _fast_.

The quarter of a glass couldn't be affecting him this much. And he was use to insomnia already. Was it his regrets haunting him?

Absentmindedly he picked up his empty single sake glass and washed it out. Placing it back in it's lonely spot, he turned-

_Debtor_. The scratch marks into his table were deep and new.

Someone had been here. His sand spread out searching. A sand clone informed the patrol while a messenger was sent to wake his brother.

With a click of the lock moving, his front door slowly crept itself back open. No one on either side-

_It's time, debtor_. _We are coming._

…

* * *

…

Kuro kept packing up her stuff. Every dress would end up in a bag she didn't even own. Piles of gold coils had somehow appeared stacked in her room - an amount that caused even more questions.

"Jun, Kuro wants us to go." Hiiro brushed back the bangs that hid under her hood as they walked the path towards town. In a week, the full moon would be here and with each passing day Kuro seemed more pushy to them leaving.

Her gloved hands were covered in dirt from the garden leaving a little bit of it on her face as she brushed her bangs and hood rim a second time.

Jun glanced towards the young girl. With Hiiro's scarf covered up past her nose and the eye patch over her grayed eye, her facial expressions were mostly covered. Since many shied away from her scars, Hiiro kept herself nearly completely covered. The bright shawl's hood covered her neck along with the scarf. The bright long dress with elegant opaque long sleeves hid her arms. Hiiro's limp caused her to walk slowly, her dress flared out from her wide hips, significantly more healthy than when she first awoke…

Seeing Jun's silence, Hiiro decided to speak again. A sense of direction she had never had before was sparking within her with Kuro's new incessant actions. "I think I should go."

Jun yet again frowned as they walked. "Shuzo and I have been talking about it. He knows a merchant that travels to trade our Teas in Suna. He is working it out so you can join his group in three days from now to travel to Suna. Then if you don't find what you are looking for, you are welcome to return here with him once his trades are up. Usually takes him about two, three weeks."

Hiiro's tripped in surprise, falling all the way to the ground.

"Oh dear!" Jun rushed to help the fallen girl.

"Ah, I'm okay… Just- Uh. I…. I thought you didn't think it was a good idea?" For as often as Jun disagreed with it, Hiiro never thought she'd help arrange everything.

"Hiiro, I care about you. It's a really long trip in a very harsh area. I'm honestly hoping we hear back from Suna before then."

"It's just sand isn't it? I like the sand." Hiiro brushed her skirt off carefully.

Jun looked up to the sky as if to exclaim why her. Then she returned Hiiro's stare. "Hun, sand on the beach and sand in the desert are not the same. There's no ocean, limited to no water. It's deathly dry. The heat supposedly will bake you alive. And even the plants often bite with thorns or spines. Their Kazekage was rumored to once be a demon."

A nervousness fluttered through Hiiro, then her eye went up to Kuro who was following them in the trees overhead. "Kuro has spines… and is rumored to be a demon - so maybe he's from the desert?"

Immediately Kuro that was walking in the trees over their head scowled, fell.

He flipped up from his ungraceful landing with a hiss, and then gagged. With aggressive movements, he raced back up the tree to an even higher plane.

"Well I can see that." Jun nodded her head in agreement, receiving back even more angry hisses.

"See. I think he's agreeing too. So three days?" Hiiro's mind went blank as she thought of what she would need to pack.

"I was going to surprise you as we bought things. But yes, we are shopping for your trip. All I ask is that if anyone asks where you got your gorgeous dresses from, you tell them it's from us." Jun smartly smirked, her gray hair turning gold in the spring light.

Dumbly Hiiro nodded her head. "Of course. Yes. Uh- Where's here again?"

With a shake of her head, Jun rolled her eyes. "I'll write it all down for you."

"Do you-" Hiiro wasn't sure of what the right words were. "You wrote a letter to Suna… Do you, uh. Um… If… Ummmm. Letters go both ways right. So… Uh. If-"

"When you get there and you remember, or you find your place. You'll have to send me your address too. I'll write you."

A warmth floated through Hiiro.

"Uh…" Still that wasn't really what she had wanted to ask. "Um. Do you… think, if you want… if… uh… I have yours… If I have yours, I can… write you too?"

That warmth twisted into nervousness. Jun wouldn't not want her letters, right?

"Of course! And you can send me letters on the trip too, any town or port will be able to get a letter to me. And I can write the nurse Shuzo knows, so you can pick up the replies there."

Security wrapped itself around Hiiro like sand...

* * *

"Kaz-kaz-kazekage-sama." The ninja stuttered tightly presenting the reports forward.

"The-the-the-the- the last fifteen deaths have all said the same thing." He bowed even more fiercely, unable to say what the Kazekage knew _Time to pay debtor. The sand man owes-_

Gaara frowned taking the reports. Windows, not just on his house but others, rattled intermittently. Sometimes so quietly it was only noticed by the changing of light and other times so violently the glass in them shattered. People were starting to become fearful as they found words written in their house scratched into their walls, traced into the dust, and wiped into fogged up mirrors while they were in the shower. _Debtor. Time to Pay!_

The reports were getting worse. Villagers, even ninjas, were getting that sense that things were moving on their own. No one would see the items actually move, but they would find things in different spots. Locked doors would become unlocked and open, locked windows would swing free. Even The Suna gates had opened once on their own.

And worse than all of this - any who died or near death started spitting out nonsense. _Sand man_. _Debtor must pay. Time to pay. Twice over. Payment is the debtor's life. The debtor is the payment. Debt to is death never forgotten._

Gaara hardened his sand mask. This terrorist attack or trickster was getting out of hand. "You are dismissed."

The ninja ran from his office, scurrying off as fast as he could, forgetting to even reply. The Kazekage's windows were covered in large and small print words that seemed to constantly change between Owe and Pay. His windows never stopped vibrating, his doors could not stay locked.

It was obvious that he was the target of this attack. His cups, eggs, plates, and mirrors had all cracked. His office desk scratched beyond recognition. _Debtor_ repeated over and over. Long creaks and squeaks of something or someone walking across his floor continued without a sign of the source.

Still standing in his office, the photo of Yumi once again attempted to flutter to the ground - but his sand stopped it. The file he kept about the day Yumi died, moved only half an inch before his sand encased that too. He cared not what they did to his things. He could be forgiving over scaring the villagers and superstitious ninjas. But to use the mementos he had of her, to risk the few images he had of her - he'd find and kill this terrorist group with his own hands!

Gaara's knuckles turned white harshly gripping the reports. This was a mental war game and he could not let them win. Whoever this enemy was, they knew exactly how to attack him. Calming himself, he recomposed his sand mask.

The windows silently crept open once again unlocked. Slamming shut, all of his other paperwork flew. Again they started to open - sand jammed into their hinges forcing them to stop. The Kazekage's sand crawled up the walls and buildings. Whoever was doing this had to be near!

"Kankuro." Gaara had failed again in finding the culprit but instead found his brother on the roof.

With trust, his brother jumped onto his sand. Gaara directed the anti-terrorist leader through his windows.

"Any new information?"

The exhausted puppet user turned and flexed, now inside the secure but haunted office. "No. This is only affecting Suna, specifically a growing radius around you."

"The council is setting up a meeting on if we should ask for support. Villagers are starting to request assistance relocating their homes. More and more are turning to superstitions." Gaara eyed the necklace about Kankuro's neck.

His older brother thumbed the spirit repelling beads in front of him. "Ya know- if this terrorist wants us to think we are haunted, why not pretend that way?"

"So you are wearing that to lure him into a false sense of security?" The Kazekage narrowed his eyes in skepticism of Kankuro's claim.

Kankuro grinned caught. "Just saying – would make the villagers feel better too. Maybe our terrorist will claim to be someone to help us – you know one of those people who are wanting so badly to be a hero they have to cause trouble first?"

Huffing, Gaara didn't like it. His teal eyes gazed out into the village. More and more windows were covered. Many had been replaced or now were completely removed. Paper talismans hung at doorways, windows, off of children's bags and clothing. Prayer beads were strung in rows in places that use to hold only decoration or house number and signs.

"People are talking that we may be cursed. The longer this goes on-"

"Fine" He interrupted Kankuro, annoyed. He could feel the sketches of Yumi start to move again. His sand bound them tightly in place, refusing to let this terrorist group affect him any more than they already had.

"Maybe we send notices out? See who comes out of the woodwork to 'try to help'?" Kankuro made air quotes which drew Gaara's teal gaze back from the village itself.

The Kazekage did not speak, his mind curious if this was what the terrorist group was after - an invitation in.

"It would also make the villagers feel better."

Foot steps behind them turned both their heads. Again no one was there, only the shut door of his office. Both men frowned, Gaara choosing to ignore the chill that ran down his back.

Knocks then sounded on his door.

"Creepy, brother. This is just a little too creepy." Kankuro rubbed his arms as a chill bit into him.

"Kaze-Kazekage-sam-sama?" A voice actually sounded, the knock had been real.

"Come in."

"Kazekage." His current secretary carefully tiptoed in, looking left and right as if expecting something to jump out and attack him.

Gaara's frown deepened. "What is it?"

"The Nomadic leader is here to see you, Kazekage. Um-"A rattle caught everyone's attention. "And I'm putting in my resignation." The man bowed quickly. "Sorry!" He dashed off.

A tall, bent over, large elder woman, slowly marched in. She used a white petrified long piece of wood as a support for her left leg. Her brown eyes were clouded. With her were three deeply tan and scarred men. All of them had long hair doomed with beads. They all wore beaded and cacti-spine laced skirts. Only the older woman wore a shirt, equally decorated in beads that shook with each step she took.

"Kazekage." Her voice sounded like an ultimatum.

"Elder. I did not realize you were scheduled to visit today." Gaara wished he had fired that secretary before the incompetent man had a chance to resign.

"I was not. I am here due to disturbances Suna is causing to our spirit walks and dead. There's danger on the other side, malicious spirits that are wishing to become dangerous haunting forces here and Suna is in our way of guarding against it." Her clouded gaze dropped to his desk. "Or someone angered a death god."

Gaara froze. Kurokawa's arms- _Death God._ _Black River._

But why now. She died over six months ago. Still, he was not a superstitious man. "Are you suggesting that our trickster is actually a Shinigami? Why would it target me?"

"Probably for no longer killing as you did. Maybe it is the transformed soul of one of the ones you killed. Or maybe it knows you. I do not care. All I know is that the other side is turbulent enough and you are causing my tribe and maybe the world great difficulty."

Gaara frowned.

The windows shook.

"Disperse! NOW! This is not your side!" The nomadic leader raised her crippled hand throwing energy out in all directions and silence filled the space.

A silence Gaara hadn't heard for 10 days...

"And if this is a Death God, are you suggesting I need to die to appease it?"

"First I suggest we walk the other side. Even I know the Kazekage dying would cause us even more problems, though I believe there is more than enough reason for any to wish your death." Her tone turned dark.

"Hey! You watch what you are sayin-" Seeing Gaara's hand come up, Kankuro silenced at his brother's command.

_Kurokawa_. If it was a death god, it was him. But why?

"How does one walk?"

The nomadic woman scowled. "Tomorrow night I'll show you. Prepare your soul, and make sure you know your sins. Some dead are forgiving, others are not. What you see and hear, you will not remember - but it will stay with your subconscious for every breath until you return there again."

"I will be coming with." Kankuro stood taller. There was a chance this was the exact trap they were talking about.

"Fine. Be ready at ten. I do not want others knowing the ritual and do not want you traveling to our tribe so select a secure room where you do not mind us marking the floor."

The elder woman stared at the two despised Suna ninjas. "Goodbye Kazekage. I hope this is quickly resolved. While you may think little of us, we do important work to help maintain the balance."

And with that she and her escort left, waiting for no response.

* * *

**Thoughts? Guesses? Anyone else think this spirit walk might be a bad idea? Or Kuro getting smaller?**

**Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5: Set off with Excess Baggage

**Ash - LOVED the review. And all your questions! Gave me a couple of ideas in fact! **

**All - I hope you enjoy this chapter. Cheers! **

* * *

Hiiro stared at the sight before her as her three bags and five trunks were set down.

"Did you have to get her so many things, dear?" Shuzo's voice was thick with annoyance, as sweat dripped down from his bald tan head across his face from carrying three of the five trunks. It soaked his beard and clothing. Finally stopped, he and his sons panted.

"Yes. It might take her awhile to recover or find what she's looking for. Plus, you said Keiji would be in Suna for over a month." Jun gave her husband a prideful smile. "Now boys, why don't you find a place for Hiiro's things are those carts?"

Naoki looked like death at the request while Taree bitterly ducked his head down. Both of their bodies heavily rose and fell with their exaggerated breaths. Taree rolled his eyes before tiredly picking a trunk back up. "Should have said that before we set it down, _Mom_."

Jun gave a tight lipped smile at her two grown but still very childish boys.

"Matsuoka Shuzo-san!" A well dressed merchant jumped down from the first horse drawn cart, eyes set on the elder doctor. "So this is your rumored family?"

"Ah yes, let me introduce you…" Shuzo's words faded into the background as Hiiro watched the trunks and bags be loaded. Her own heartbeat drowned out all other sounds.

This was it. She was going to leave... Emptiness ran through her giving her no sense of confidence. Seven horse drawn carts stood still. Each cart had a full covered load. The horses kicked their feet, a few shaking their head as if they were ready. At least they where ready-

"And this is Salt Hiiro-" Hiiro jerked up from her insecurity as Shuzo's voice called out her name. She noticed that both him and the merchant, Keiji, were looking at her. "-she's the one I spoke with you about."

"Ah, yes. The young woman with amnesia. I am Sumiro Keiji, I constantly trade our Tea Country goods with Wind Country. My men help me with the transport and security. But early on it was just me traveling. Shuzo-san saved my life when I ended caught in a horrific storm. It tipped and shattered my cart and the wooden shrapnel killed one of my horses and lacerated myself and the other."

The man grinned overly friendly as he gripped Hiiro's hand, that she didn't remember giving him.

Kuro's claws squeezed her shawl as he clicked aggressively.

"Oh." Keiji's eyes drifted up from Hiiro's very covered torso to her shoulder. "And what type of creature is this? I know some ninjas who might be interested in one of his kind if there's a way to breed him or obtain more."

Immediately the gray rat-sized body sprung out spikes in all directions, his sickle like tail flicked menacingly out. Keiji naturally let go of the young woman's hand as the small beast foamed at his jagged mouth.

Urgently, Shuzo grabbed Keiji by the shoulder and pulled him back. "I'm not sure that's the best of ideas."

"Yeah." Keiji agreed, his opportunistic mind still wondering how he might find better domesticated versions of the disturbing little creature.

"Kuro." Hiiro placed her hand up towards her pissed companion. Immediately he calmed and accepted her touch. "He's the one that knows we are from Suna. Maybe there are more of them there."

Kuro's eyes narrowed on the merchant. His tail blade still flicking in threat.

"We sent a letter but no reply yet-" Jun still felt reluctance in letting Hiiro travel. No matter how many times she checked with the post office, there still was nothing from the ninja village.

Sensing his wife's worry, Shuzo placed his other hand on her waist in comfort. "We figured she can go with you, and then return here with you if it doesn't trigger her memories or no one recognizes her. Mail sometimes may get lost and we've already established that no one here knows her nor Kuro."

Keiji's eyes scanned Hiiro and Kuro again. "Well with the eye patch, covered face, and that little cat-thing, she should get recognized pretty quickly."

Hiiro's eye fell in unease. The eye patch and scarf were both given her by Jun. Her scars were from some attack by the moon she didn't remember. How had she been before? What of her were original? Only Kuro, she was certain, was the same. But now he was shrinking... How would anyone know her, or her them. Emptiness was all she-

Kuro clicked at her, tapping her shoulders, and indicating with his head towards the cart. He was ready, he was wanting to go. With faith in him, Hiiro inhaled slowly regaining what little of herself she had.

"Okay." Hiiro spoke to herself. "We are ready."

A bittersweet smile rose to Jun's lips. "Give me a hug."

With a nod, she complied. The elder woman held her tightly, and long. "Write us, be careful, and know you can always come back."

Hiiro nodded again, and the woman's grip around her tightened even more.

Shuzo grinned at the still very hesitant woman, but she had come a long way from the catatonic injured patient that had woken up nearly two months ago. "Me too?"

Hiiro also hugged Shuzo.

"And us?" Naoki grinned sheepishly while Taree stood aloof. Hiiro hugged them both, receiving an extra pat from Taree and a whispered_ be safe you._

"Me?" Keiji grinned.

"You want a hug too?"

"Of cours-" Shuzo smacked the back of Keiji's head- "Take care of her, Keiji."

"Yes, I was just enjoying the mood. Don't mind me." The merchant shrugged at the doctor before turning to the very brightly covered woman. "Shall we?"

"Wait, Hiiro - this too. This is a book of photos of us, our address, paper so you can write us with pre-stamped letters. If you remember, I hope you will contact us, and if you don't- know you will be welcome here."

Gently Hiiro took the homemade book from the mother like figure. A feeling she couldn't name rolled within her.

Dumbly, she just nodded her head, "okay."

"And you remember what we talked about right?"

Hiiro nodded her hood and scarf covered head again.

"And you know all of what's in your baggage you have with you and where everything is at too, right?"

Hiiro hesitated, her eye briefly went up and to the right, and then gave another single nod.

"If you get concerned, ask Keiji or if you have any questions. I'm sure he knows a lot about Suna. He's a well respected merchant."

Hiiro's eyes paused on the man who was also briefly studying her. It was only then she noticed that he had a few scars on his arm and a deeper one on his neck.

"Alright, we need to move. We have a boat to catch. Come you can sit up front with me."

Kuro was already there, his murderous gaze staring down the merchant as much as possible. **Was this truly how the soon-to-be-dead traveled!? **How slow! How utterly-like-them-pathetic! But for her, he'd go along with it. The less likely he had to see that disgusting soon-to-be-dead-sand-man, the better…

…

* * *

Gaara and Kankuro stared at the eccentric designs that seemed to be drawn in blood on the floor. The tribal men had equally detailed markings on every inch of their skin. The elder had on the same, her wrinkles making the design even more mind numbing.

"Is this truly needed?" Gaara's gaze landed suspiciously on the jar they were working out of. It looked and smelled exactly like _blood_.

The elder woman met his gaze with one equally domineering. "_Yes._ But you are not worthy of the Reibai Tasei." Her gaze dropped to scan him disapprovingly.

"Hey-" Gaara raised his hand to silence Kankuro. He already knew the nomadic tribal leaders, especially their current elder- hated him for his past transgressions.

"Let us get on with this so that it may be debunked."

The elder's lip curled briefly before she returned to her previous stone face. "Fine. Sit." Her aged, painfully curled hand, pointed to one of the many outter dots on the symbol's outer circle.

"And I?"

"Where-ever, ninja." The elder moved slowly to her own dot, along with the other two.

All five sat crosslegged.

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. MMMmmmmmmmMMMMMMMM. Ummmmmmmmmmmm. Ooooohhhmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hooommmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee. Weeeeeee r to beeeeeeeeeeeeee. Freeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Meeeeeeeeee Hohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme."

Vibration of their hummed chants filled Gaara's ears. It transmitted through his sand, and skin as the symbols seemed to echo its frequency. As if he was being lulled to sleep, Gaara felt himself pulled from with in.

Protective, his sand wrapped around himself and his brother- but it was too late.

* * *

Cold.

Nothing existed.

Nothing was.

It just was Nothing. Nothing in all directions.

Even the air, if there was air - there wasn't even air. There only was nothing...

But his toes were cold.

The back of his knees were chilled. His chest and sides were also cold. His fingers felt cold. As if he was in the mountains in winter, all of him was cold. And worse, he could not feel his sand. The grains that usually coated him were disturbingly not present.

Gaara blinked. Where was his sand? Where was he? Nothing was everywhere. His own hand was his but yet- it was like it wasn't. His body and clothing were translucent. It was what he wore when he traveled to Naruto's wedding complete with the papers and the half-finished letters to Yumi he had never sent her back then.

An old woman's cracking voice whipped his head around, "I didn't believe you'd pass to here so quickly. Your brother is still on the other side. You must not be as skeptical as you seem-."

"Who is there?" His mind sorted, confused- unable to see anyone but the cold.

Her old rickety tone held the harshness of someone who had breathed the desert's sandy heat too long. The voice held hostilities of those who knew him from before and had never forgiven him.

"Hn." She snorted, a viscous smile in her tone. "Who do think should be here? Or which number of people do you believe will be lined up to meet you for all you have done?"

Refusing to be goaded for a past he was already living with, Gaara remained silent.

"Oh? No comment to that?" A tall bent over ancient nomad woman floated from out of the nothingness. A hollowing blank gaze stared directly at him.

Gaara frowned, he had never killed a nomad. Was she haunting them just because the typical nomad-Suna conflict and tension? Then he remembered more recent history, this was the nomadic elder. This was the nomadic elder who had visited him because of the current disturbances.

The already tall bent over woman smirked at him leaning heavily on a dried wood staff that was twice her height. The grayed wood was twisted and knotted, unlike any plant the desert currently produced. While there was no wind, her nomadic traditional skirts wrapped fully about her waist danced as if there was a light breeze. The finely beaded tunic jingled lightly. The long strands of beads off the flared tunic arms and waist rippled. About her neck, cacti spines strung with even smaller hand painted clay beads threateningly protruded out in all directions.

Gaara let his eyes narrow. "Is this a genjutsu?"

He could hear her laugh in the snort she gave him. Her blind dark grey eyes lifted to him. Gaara's eyes shifted to glare at the disrespect; did she hate them so much to risk a war her tribe would not survive?

"Kazekage, I am blind even in this plane. But I feel your gaze. You dare to believe that I am misjudging you and the acts you have done? In this plane, it is dangerous to believe we are strong or without judgement. Here we are the weakest, here we are to be judged, sentenced, and sometimes destroyed. For us living, we must be careful especially in these times."

Again Gaara choose silence. He'd wait her out just as he had done to the Nomads during the trade war.

The elder head turned left and then right, to indicate the nothingness that was all around them. "Because you feel nothing but nothing, you feel secure. You shouldn't though. No weapons. No defenses. As a ninja you feel naked without them, right? Your sand is no where to be found, isn't it? And-" She haphazardly tossed her staff towards him. It bounced on the white and slid until it was just in front of his bare feet. "I bet you cannot even pick up or touch that."

Gaara studied the elder. If this was a genjutsu, she would be controlling the world – however, even in a genjutsu the trapped mind did keep some strength. With a silent exhale he crouched to reach for the staff. His fingers went straight through it. On the second and third grab, the occurrence repeated. Each time he felt nothing as his hand passed right through. But he could see it.

"You are wondering why you can see it but not touch, right?" She practically read his mind, making him wonder if she truly was blind. "That's because you don't have the strength and I am not pushing it to make contact with you. While you may have unfinished business on the other side, allowing you to go from this in-between state with your current inability will do us no good. The other side is in turmoil with powerful devils trying to rise out. If you are not killed there, you risk getting possessed if any figure out you are tethered."

While her tone held warning, the corner of her wrinkled mouth perked upwards as if she enjoyed his struggle.

A storm started to brew within Gaara who still remained crouched. "Where is Kankuro? And, am I to believe that it's _unfinished_ business causes the disturbances in Suna, and not you to set this exact trap?"

"If I truly wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already _Kazekage_. However that death would come at the cost of war, and I will not risk such." She didn't hesitate at his rebuttal. "And I do believe that it's a spirit's unfinished business that's haunting you. From your tone, I believe you do too. Probably some regret for someone killed in your past."

Immediately Yumi came to his mind. He hadn't killed her, but she was still dead and he regretted having told her to not love him.

As if he had murdered Yumi directly, the elder snuffed him. "That cloud of guilt is proof of what you did."

"I have done many things - good and bad. But do not think you know to judge me." Never before had this woman come against him with such sinister language.

"It is not I who will judge. But I will make sure you nor your brother do not get killed or possessed, even if I wish for otherwise. A Nomadic-Suna war will be the end of our tribes." Finally she spoke how she normally sounded. Then with a stir of her fingers, the staff came back to her. "The first thing you should know, is everything here- you'll not remember. This will be a subconscious inkling, a gut instinct, or maybe nothing at all. Yes, you can remember everything of that side, but when you go back to that side you will know nothing of this. Only here do we remember both and all previous times. This is how the worlds of death work, it is apart of the rules if you wish to call them such."

Skepticism burned even more brightly within Gaara. "You expect me to believe these _dead_ are affecting there, when you claim nothing can be remembered from here to there."

Viciously she grinned as if he was nothing more than an ignorant troublesome boy. "_We_ cannot remember, any reincarnated cannot remember from here. But there are kinds who can- spirits, devils, death gods. Be careful Kazekage, you are now on the lowest side of the power and food chain. Even if you are able to learn how to be strong here, we are nothing in comparison to the others. The gate that keeps the devils at bay, the monster from the third gate missing. Because of that, those from the fourth are trying to surge up and second gate are unable to hold them back. Do not believe you know anything, here, _kazekage_."

A frown creased into him even further. "And Kankuro?"

Her blind eyes narrowed as her nose lifted up. "Obviously more of a skeptic than you, but I feel him slowly passing through. You must have some sense to why you might be haunted, though truly I do not understand why you haven't been haunted sooner with all you have _done_."

Strangely Kurokawa's wrathful face and swinging axe flashed in Gaara's mind. The man coming to him, informing him that the debt he owned that ogre for not killing him, the two debts, were now Yumi's- Yumi who he wasn't even there for. Yumi, who died before he could see her again... That man would never forgive him- it would be possible that-

"Whatever you are thinking of is useless unless you wish to die or be possessed. First you must learn. You must be ready to defend yourself. With your brother now here. It's time for you two to show you are able."

Kankuro stepped through the gray-white. "What? A genjutsu?"

And then the two tribal men stepped into sight as well. One lined up with him, and the other with his brother. Gaara instantly knew. They were going to attack.

The man charged. Poor at taijutsu, Gaara mentally willed his sand to him. Nothing came. He stepped back to block as the man struck. As if hit by something far larger, Gaara went soaring back.

"Gaara! You bastard-" His brother was also hit and immediately sent flying. But Gaara had no time to think as a second kick from the tribal man came from his left. His attempt to block, did nothing and it felt as if his entire side was impacted. Everything in him stunned as the landscape again blurred. He didn't hit the 'sand' nor anything. Nothing, not even gravity nor the ground stopped him.

"Focus!" The nomadic men both yelled.

The Kazekage tried to twist out of the way of the man's kick, while Kankuro failed in sending out chakra strings. Pain sparked in Gaara's head as the man's foot met his ribs. Again he flew. Kankuro was already flying.

With great intensity, Gaara mentally and physically tried to force himself to land. Nothing gripped him, nothing stopped him. His feet went through the 'ground' as if it wasn't there. His body traveled as if nothing was touching it, as if there was nothing to stop him.

"You can only use yourself. This is not the world as you know it. It is what you make it, all the strength you have comes only from you. The ground itself is what you make it." The nomad attacking Kankuro jumped onto the sky as if there was ground there too, then he ran upside down and finally sideways as if to prove his point.

Inhaling, Gaara's eyes rolled backwards, centering himself. With a firm exhale, he twisted his feet no longer reaching for the ground but demanding it to be there. Finally he felt a force of which to push back on, the force of himself.

But again, he was too slow. The nomad went through his defenses, punching him in the back and sending him through that of which he thought had been ground.

Determined, Gaara again stopped his fall.

"Quick learner." The nomad smirked as he jabbed. Gaara ducked. The man's right came up with an uppercut, but the Kazekage stepped back just in time, throwing his own punch. The man jumped away before charging again, this time from a new angle. Gaara lightened his new found stance. Not quite mentally ready to be sparing on all planes, he did not change orientations like the attacking tribesman did.

Disturbingly, Kankuro and the other man were fighting overhead. Kankuro equally struggling with learning the new orientations.

"Guess you aren't that quick." The man noticed Gaara's unwillingness, taking the advantage to stand upside down and wrap his arms about the Kazekage's neck.

For a moment, Gaara' lost his focus. His hands went straight through the man's arms as he choked. His sand wasn't reaching out. His sand armor wasn't present. His ultimate defense, unable. For a moment, Gaara couldn't breathe.

But then he remembered. _Yumi_. He remembered exactly how Yumi moved, how her gaze had that confidence every time she fought. No matter how disadvantaged she was, no matter the fight, she never once gave up, always willing to try new.

He remembered how she moved- Firmly his palms met the man's forearms, his body twisted up and he kicked the other in their stomach. It wasn't as elegant as hers. It had felt clunky, but there he landed, free and upside down.

Now, down was up.

"Heh." The nomad smiled despite having been firmly hit. Again he charged. Hit for hit, block for block, dodging and swerving, changing directions, planes, and orientations. "You are as impressive as you are rumored."

"What the hell!" Kankuro cursed as he realized his brother had caught on first. "You've been secretly practicing Taijutsus again with Shira, haven't you!"

Gaara's face gave no hint to his thoughts, but his eyes held a victorious determination. "Mind over matter Kankuro."

"Yes," Kankuro started to figure it out as well, to the point he could make strings from his fingers causing his younger brother to eye him curiosity.

"Enough." The elder voice snapped, immediacy drawing the nomads back. Kankuro withdrawing the strings as Gaara landed beside him.

Gaara's teal gaze landed on the woman who was now standing sideways on landscape that was upside down. The world of fake imagery blurred again, returning to the nothingness that it was in actuality.

"Chaqui," the nomad who Kankuro had sparred with placed one finger to his forehead. "Jaqui," a graying nomad man who Gaara fought also placed one finger to his forehead. "We shall escort the Kazekage and his brother to the other side, now that they are the stage of children."

"Look, I'm getting a little tired of you insulting us." Kankuro grit his teeth.

Immediately the woman cloned herself, but instead of identical copies it was various ages. Each then performed a jutsu and then vanished before appearing on all sides of them. "Children." The copies all repeated. "So we must make sure you do not get possessed or killed."

And with one last dismissive smirk, the blind elder and all her versions vanished. The elder in her normal state reappeared beside Chaqui and Jaqui. Everything churned. Nothing twisted from nothing into a different nothing. A strangeness in the air brought cautious chill through the Kazekage.

"Do I just wait here until whatever you believe is haunting me comes?" As he spoke, he seemed to know that was not the plan.

As if he was childish, the man who hadn't attacked him, Chaqui, shook his head. "This is a dream world, the in-between, where we practice."

"Because of you being haunted, it is generally dangerous for us to use here to pass to the plane. Lately, we have been traveling to the Land of Demons. The priestess there has allowed us to camp on her grounds to do this work. Something-"

"He doesn't need to know." The nomadic elder interrupted Jaqui. "Now, Kazekage. This way."

Still skeptical, the Kazekage slowly followed with Kankuro at his side. The nothingness before them rumbled drawing their vision outwards.

"What we each see is different - it is shaped by our idea of death and the other side. Where we are going is technically only the entry area of the first level, but with the current turmoil we must be cautious. This is the area where they can sometimes cause us to feel or sense them if the bonds and emotions between us are powerful enough, so whoever is haunting you has to be in here" Chaqui drew out his hand for dramatic effect, and yet the nothingness only rumbled.

"I see nothing." Kankuro muttered annoyed.

Frowning, Jaqui started forward as if he did see something. "You don't see a door, portal, window, box, river, hole, boat, ladder, gateway-"

To the side of them, a great gate rose from the nothingness. Bones made up its doors, skulls bordered its frame. Murderously it dwarfed them. Two axes hung as handles, their design exactly the same as Kurokawa's ax. Across each door, charred in to the bone were the words _Death God_.

Kurokawa Taiki. Of course that man was the one responsible for all this, that death god who had attacked him so viciously. Of course he would be enraged that Yumi had died, especially after that man had sacrificed himself to pull the thing back through.

"Brother," Kankuro's tone held concern. "I see you, Temari, all our friends and family with purple face paint lined up in two rows..."

Gaara eyed Kankuro. That sounded welcoming, unlike the sight before him

"Hm?" Kankuro looked at his brother, the death-god gate, and his brother again. "What is it that you see?"

"A river." Chaqui answered first.

"A tunnel." Jaqui shrugged.

"Come, we do not have all day."

Kankuro eyed Gaara who remained silent. The expression on his younger brother's face meant whatever they were passing through was ominous for them.

"Hn." Kankuro didn't believe any of this, anyway- right?

The nothingness changed. Pools of energy loomed everywhere. The black and gray void was filled with crowded spirits huddled and bustling together. Some of them felt strangely familiar.

And then, the spirits blurred and suddenly looked like people and creatures.

"Whoa." Kankuro glanced about and then at himself. He matched the spirit bodies, except unlike them who had nothing - a white bright light was inside of him, them.

"It means you are living. Don't flaunt it, only we can see it in each other but if malicious spirits find out-"

"They will try to possess or steal your life." Jaqui finished Chaqui's sentence.

"We do not have all day." The elder rolled her blind eyes.

"**You**," a dripping accusation sharpened its fangs. "You-" A spirit floated menacingly towards them. "You killed my brother."

Jaqui glanced to Chaqui and then both glanced to the leader. A knowing self-vindicating grin cracked on her well aged face. "Well this has turned out easier than expected."

"You think this is the source?" Gaara cocked his head to the side.

"_You_," a second joined the first. "You… You killed my _father_, demon."

"You," and then a third-

"Okay, this is getting a little annoying. So do we fight them, try to reason-" Kankuro turned to the nomads while Gaara stared ahead at each joining spirit.

"I regret what I did when I didn't understand others' bonds. I will take whatever it is you wish for punishment for me when I finally come here to stay, but you haunting Suna hurts far more than me. If you have issue with me, take it up with only me." Gaara bowed.

"You still live?" A fourth spirit cocked her head. A crackle discharged a ways out that suddenly caused the previously gathered spirits to run in fear.

"They shouldn't be able to see your tethers so easily." The three tribe people quickly got into fighting positions.

"This is more than what should be," The elder split into two, one younger clone and the other older, "and these types of vengeful spirits shouldn't be in this area nor capable of the intelligence needed to affect the other side."

"So we are fighting." Kankuro placed his hands up, drawing his spirit energy forward to make strings at the end of his fingers.

An ominous air filled the area as Gaara stepped back into a defensive stance. He watched as the tribesmen all grit their teeth in anticipation.

"Sons!" Rasa pulled himself out of the ground. "Run!" He drew his hands out. "Get out of here, I'll hold it back!"

"Look we can handle these-" Kankuro thumbed at the growing mass.

"**You-**", "_You_", "You", "YOU" "you" "**You**" "you". Another after another after another voice joined in.

Suddenly an onslaught occurred. Rasa fought four, the tribal elder five, the two tribesmen two each, while Kankuro and Gaara were barely managing one. In the middle of blocking a grab, a spirit wrapped about the Kazekage's neck. Its fingers clawed into his side, trying to reach for the light within him. He could feel its vicious, feral grin as it tried to tear through his soul.

"GAARA!" Kankuro's head jerked back as another spirit punched him and then continued to attack his chest and side, also trying to claw its way into him.

"These are vengeful spirits, if they get into you - they will compel your body to hurt anyone else around you. Things have worsened here since last we've come." A younger nomadic elder's hand gripped the spirit that was attacking the Kazekage and threw it away.

"Chaqui, take them to safety, now." The elder clone sudden was swamped by six spirits.

"You," "You," "You,"

"Sons, this way!"

_Mom_, Gaara's spirit form jerked so hard his physical head hurt. Without a second thought, they ran towards the calling woman.

"You," "**You**", "_YOU_"

"I can't believe my boys have passed." Karura spirit eyes blurred in sorrow. "But, do not worry. We'll protect you two until you can reincarnate."

"How many devils have risen up recently?" To Gaara's left a child version of the elder ran beside them, surprising his mom.

"You- you know about that?" Karura frowned. "With the Oni not in its rightful place, more have come up, especially here as a few death gods have insistent on terrorizing Suna but they are trying to defend us spirits at the others. Lord Rasa and I have been trying to figure out why but since death gods can remove spirits we have not gotten very far."

"What!? Multiple death gods are terrorizing Suna directly!? Why!" Jaqui exploded in terror. Multiple death gods! If the death gods joined the devils - they were all doomed! "If the Kazekage's sins have been that great, we should just sacrifice him to them."

"I will never allow you to!" Karura's spirit expanded up while Jaqui's form shrunk at the intimidation.

"That will cause a war between Suna and our tribe," the elder calmly replied despite the fray. "Remember our physical bodies are in the same place. Any blame for his death will fall directly to us."

"_Kurokawa_." Gaara muttered under his breath. This all had to be that man because he had caused Yumi's death. Grief murmured through him at the memory. He deserved what that monster would demand of him. She had died _alone_, because of him. Her blood had carved itself into the earth itself, soaking all. It was all his fault, of course that man hated him- he had never liked him. So, of course he would seek out his revenge.

"**You!"** A vibration shook. The dim energy pools rippled. "**You**" A black cloud rose before them spanning out far past the void.

"Damnit" His father swore, having caught up to them.

"We need to go back. This gate is far too compromised, we might be able to try again at the Land of the Demon's point." The nomadic leader glanced as the way back slowly became blocked.

Gaara stepped forward towards the cloud "LISTEN!"

It rumbled thinning out as it expanded further.

"I know, I have hurt you, your friends, your family. I know what I have done. There's no repentance that can undo the past… but Suna needs you. I will accept whatever it you feel I deserve when it's time. But do not hurt others, do not affect the innocent, your descendants. They deserve your protection, not anger." Gaara again pleaded.

"Ah fuck" A teenage voice cursed. "It was him. Fuck I was hoping I was hearing things."

"Fuck. fuck. Fuck. He fucking died! Like fuck. We are all fucking dead. Fuck!"

"Brother! Language!" A woman scolded.

"I'm not helping him. Nope.. Nope! No. No way. Not ever. Fucking fucker bastard Kage."

The cloud expanded.

"We can hold it off temporarily, for you to try to get away." Rasa glanced to his love. "You too Karura-"

"I'm not leaving you." Their mom immediately declared giving both Kankuro and Gaara a bad feeling.

Concern flooded Kankuro as he looked at his deceased parents' spirits. "You can't be killed right?"

"Not by another spirit - a shinigami or higher level entity, they can though... But vengeful spirits can cause others to join, the mob effect grows with each new member they have." Chaqui understood the sand ninja's concern but did not wish to lie. "Your parents will be sacrificing themselves for you."

Gaara frowned in grievence. Not again- The cloud started to encircle.

Kankuro glanced to the left and right. His father and mother also in fighting stance. "I'm not leaving you two."

Spirit after spirit continued to merge, chanting. They focused on the Kazekage and Rasa. "You." You." "You." "You." You." "You." "You."

"We may not have a choice." Chaqui half stepped back.

Karura glanced to her two boys. "This is a parents' responsibility. We want you to be safe, and happy."

A preteen boy's voice again interrupted- "Ah shit, she'll cry if I don't-"

"Fuck."

* * *

**Thoughts? Also that pesky full moon is only in a couple of days. Seems like a number are in tough spots right now!**

Kankuro: **Well whose fault do you think that is!?**

Author:** *Looks up innocently* *Then left* *Then right***

Kankuro: **Hmmmmm? ! Also if you get my brother and I possessed, I will be pissed**

Author: **... *Looks up* *Looks left* *looks right***

Kankuro: ...


	6. Chapter 6: The Will Be Forgotten Account

**Ash -  
Thank you for reviewing. Really sorry this chapter took so long. Most of your questions should be answered, though it's going to be fun to see your response. I totally can see this preteen boy driving our favorite Kazekage a little nuts from time to time. Also I really want Kankuro to get possessed sometime, I feel that would be a riot! Love the ideas & questions.**

**All -  
Here's to finding out what happens to Gaara in the spirit world and how Hiiro is doing on her little journey too!**

**Enjoy!**

**\- Rain**

* * *

Hiiro's gloved hands held Kuro securely in her lap. His gray form contrasted her tan-pink dyed gloves. His extremely sharp claws did not pierce the fabric of her well sewn clothing. Neither did his bladed tail as it flicked back and forth. His tiny body sent out waves of deadly displeasure; not that Hiiro noticed.

Hiiro watched the massive horses that marched without stopping. Because they were switching to a boat and leaving the work team here, Keiji said they wouldn't stop at all. The cart bounced and creaked. The growing tea fields changed sizes as they traveled further away, the types of plants in the fields changed as well.

However despite all that her gaze landed on, she kept her mind blank. If she let herself think, full moon would assault her every thought. Tonight they would board a boat and tomorrow…

_Tomorrow,_

Tomorrow, the full moon would be back for her soul.

Exhausted, Hiiro turned her mind back into numbness.

The cart rattled onwards. Her scarf bounced brushing her cheeks with its saffron yellow pattern. Her breath caught in the scarf with each inhale and exhale, as it always did. A good part of her wanted to put the hood of her brightly colored shawl up, but Jun had especially cut her hair for this trip. For Jun, she wouldn't hide herself away- not just yet, anyway.

"Salt," Keiji leaned forward to get in sight of her uncovered eye. "Why don't you sleep in the cart a bit? Hm? You do not have to stay up because we are."

Hiiro's head turned fully to see the merchant who had traveled this road many times.

"We hung your hammock up." He pointed backwards.

"Oh." Hiiro's neck craned to see.

With the movement of the horse and the bumps in the road the hammock rocked by itself.

…

* * *

…

Gaara tilted his head up at the mass before him. The cloud of vengeful spirits started to encircle. They reached up and crept in a spiral around the group.

Kankuro glanced to the left and right before his gaze landed on his father and mother in fighting stances. "I'm not leaving you two."

Even though his parents were spirits, how could he leave them to be absorbed by this mass?

Spirit after spirit continued to merge, chanting. They focused on the Kazekage and Rasa. "You." You." "You." "You." You." "You." "You."

"We may not have a choice." Chaqui half stepped back.

Karura frowned at Kankuro before glancing towards her youngest. "This is a parents' responsibility. We want you to be safe, and happy."

"If we do not find a way to retreat, we will be killed or possessed." A young girl version of the elder appeared next to the Kazekage, making her now have two clones of herself.

"Maybe our instruction into this should have been more detailed." Frustration fluttered through Gaara's fingers. He had no sand, nor could he make clones like the tribe people were able to.

"This is no time for training. I can feel two lower level devils heading this way." Their father stared beyond the chanting spirit wall.

"Then we'll have to manage this the old fashioned way, and fast." Kankuro raised his hands and stepped into a fighting pose.

"If you give us a way out, we'll take your sons back. It may sacrifice you, but your line will live on" The middle aged tribe leader turned to their parents.

Kankuro spun in anger towards the three version of the woman. "I won't let my parents sacrifice themselves!"

"Kankuro!" Their mom's scolded only as a mother could do.

"I didn't-" "Shit!" A preteen voice interrupted Kankuro.

"You should go back!" The boy suddenly shouted, followed by a muttered-"Oh, fuck."

Then there was a woman's voice that no one recognized spoke. "Don't become part of them. If they dull you even a little, your spirit will join theirs."

"Ugh, you don't actually have to say that every time. I think I've proven I can handle these types of spirits. I am a mass murderer, remember?" The tip of a blade started at the top of the swirling mass.

The "you", "you", "you", yous turned into howling screams as that blade tip was pushed in, it's form expanding until it showed itself to be a menacing axe. A young boy with a pissed off look came through.

Gaara recognized the spirit instantly-_ Kurokawa Taik_i.

"He's going to be pulled into the swarm." His father spoke right as waterfall of raging spirits poured upon the boy.

Gaara rushed forward, in need to help the boy. This was Yumi's important person and if he was here then maybe-

The axe sliced through the spirit waterfall with a swinging motion, again. The preteen snarled animatedly. His gaze landed on the current Kazekage. "Seriously!? Who the fuck hangs out in a swirl of vengeance spirits?"

As if it standing in the swirling mass was nothing, he pointed his ax out straight at Gaara as if it was a finger. "Don't run into these things you numb-nuts."

Immediate shock paused all but the verging spirits and the Kazekage.

_Numb-nuts?_

This kid just called the current Kazekage of Suna Numb-nuts!

_Who-_

_What-_

_How-_

A woman in her early thirties landed smoothly next to Kurokawa. Her gaze scanned the group before resting on the preteen boy. "The devils will be upon us soon."

"Ko," Kurokawa spun towards the woman, who instantly frowned in confusion.

"Ko-?" "Ko!" He waved his arms pointedly, axe still in hand. "Ko," he repeated and the confusion in the woman's eyes cleared. "Didn't I say this was going to get ugly?" The boy panned out towards the Kazekage, once again shocking all the others.

Ko's eyes dashing between the boy and the Kazekage. "Ugly or not, I will not pass over until you do and I'll help where you are, brother."

_Brother_. Gaara stared at the tall deceased woman with a thick braid of hair.

"You two should hurry and reincarnate," Karura informed the two new spirits. "The oni that regulated the spirit world is gone. This is not a game, your existence could join with this mob or worse, consumed by the devils."

"We need to find a way out of here, fast." The tribal elder woman hissed. "We are in no position to stand against two devils and this mass of spirits."

As if to make her point of their dire situation a screech vibrated through their souls.

"Oh, may our walk not falter nor end where it is we stand. May we see and greet the sun, say goodnight to the moon, speak again with the wind, hear the wise sand, feel the cacti's hum." Jaqui muttered quietly.

"A monk?" Kurokawa cocked his preteen head at the nomad and then snapped it back to Gaara and his father. "Are you trying to amend for your sins?"

"What the hell!" Kankuro fist curled. "Who do you think you are kid?"

"Lord Rasa did what he had to do and the best he could do." Karura's spirit grabbed the former Kazekage's hand.

Rasa glared, desperately trying to remember who the kid could be.

"Heh. We don't really have time for this shit." The kid bitterly bit the inside of cheek, before he brushed up his bangs out of his face with his free hand. His angry gaze mixed with something else, remorse.

Then his fingers around the axe tightened, his spirit crushing the handle with all his might. With a smooth lob, he laid the axe up onto his shoulder. The storm in his eyes changed to hardened ice, determined and uncaring. Without a world, he wailed the axe downwards into the swirling vengeful force.

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUu- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

They screamed instantly, their flow disturbed as he hacked into them with swing and chop. The tightened circle immediately expanded out in a partial escape.

Ko stepped one foot back her hands going up.

"I got this, get them running." The preteen shouted, stopping his sister's signs.

"Jutsus are ineffective in this world." Lord Rasa eyed the woman. "You should listen to my wife, it is not safe to be here."

Ko's eyes narrowed seriously. "We will jump through the holes that my brother makes. If we go now, we'll escape before the devils come."

Karura, Jaqui, Gaara, Kankuro, Chaqui, the Tribal elder formed back into one person, then finally Lord Rasa and Ko all jumped through the gaps that the preteen was making with his axe. They ran, Lady Karura leading the way and the woman Ko in the back.

The elder glanced to the woman, distrust folding itself into her wrinkles. "What is that thing your brother carries - it feels soaked in bad spirits."

"It is." Ko responded without answering.

Gaara stopped running, turning back towards the breaking whirlpool of spirits they had just escaped from. "We need to go back for Kurokawa."

"Kurokawa!?" Kankuro and Lord Rasa both exclaimed shell shocked.

"Yumi's father?" Karura quietly asked.

"Yes." Gaara confirmed, his gaze landing on Kurokawa's sister. "We can't leave him behind. If these devils are truly-"

"Why the fuck are you stopped?" Taiki bellowed out bolting straight for them with the axe on his back. "Get going you idiots!"

"Come." Ko demanded, locking eyes with Gaara as if to say she didn't appreciate his implication.

The whole group ran with the preteen boy bolting behind them to catch up. The whirlpool mass of spirits were long in the distance, if there was distance in this world.

"See, told you I didn't need you." Taiki immediately informed his sister once he caught back up.

"I saw." Ko smiled at her little brother with pride.

Kurokawa's face turned into a sneer. "Little vengeful spirits aint nothing."

The atmosphere of the group turned as they moved, growing heavier and heavier. Each subgroup had their own thoughts. The nomads frustrated they had not come across what was haunting the kazekage, but already nearly ran into two dangerous entities. Lord Rasa and Karura weighed down by their sons no longer in the world of the living. And Ko and Taiki equally as serious.

Gaara and Kankuro were the only two actually running, the rest were more speeding along without a single movement of their lengths. Gaara studied the nomads. Every step he tried not to step and every jump he tried to glide as they did, only resulted in him half skipping or stopping.

"You recently die?" Ko cocked her head as her body turned sideways to study the two who were running like they were still in the living world.

Taiki's eyes widened as realization finally dawned on him. "Oh fuck, Number 39! Yumi's going to cry when she finds out he killed you in jealousy. Damn it, you nim-wad, didn't I tell you not to goad or bait him!?"

_Nim-What!?_ "No! You-kid! We are still alive. The nomads brought us here believing that Suna is being haunted by your shinigami."

"You live?" His father, Mother, and Ko all spoke at the same time.

"Oh thank goodness." His mother continued on.

"You might as well have killed yourself. You don't even know how to move." Ko frowned with concern in her eyes. She turned her head to her brother. "We need to find them a way back, now."

"Suna is being haunted because of something on this side due to the Kazekage's sins. If that is not resolved, we will just end up back here again." The elder nomad snorted at the woman who was questioning her decision.

"Oh-" Taiki nodded his head and then nodded it even more. "Oh. Oh! That makes sense now why Number 4 found us earlier, not Number 39. I get it. Dude, you are so lucky that he's just having a few spirits haunting you."

"So Yumi reincarnated?" Gaara felt both pain and relief. It was good she was elsewhere, if here was so dangerous. But to see this kid again, and not her-

"Wait-what?" Taiki halted immediately.

"Yumi was killed by the Oni."

Taiki's heart stopped. "No way. If the Oni killed her, that means she doesn't exist anymore!" He shook his head no.

"That couldn't be-"

Kankuro now turned to his mother. "What do you mean?"

"Do you know what happened?" Taiki and Gaara asked her at the same time.

"We were there." Lord Rasa answered.

"It's great you are having this moment, but this is not why we are here, Kazekage."

Ko briefly stiffened. "Kage?"

"I realize that, but I need to know this. I have to."

"Look grandma, this actually, probably, definitely has everything to do with why he's being haunted. I mean, I wasn't joking when I said he was lucky that it is only that. Number 39 wanted everything about him and everyone around him deader-than-dead, soooo-"

"Do you think we could talk to Number 4 again? Not that it's a good idea given that it could kill us, but we could try."

"Number 39? Number 4?" The elder didn't understand.

"I want to know what happened. All I know is the Oni ran away and then Number 39 freaked out and the Oni didn't go back to where it belongs to separate here and the shinigamis from the devils so now-" Taiki held out his hands, "-here we are."

"I too want to know." Gaara remembered the blood, the giant crater filled with Yumi's blood that had soaked him and Ino past their knees. Yumi

Silence filled the group.

Then finally, Lord Rasa nodded his head. "I'll tell you."

Taiki's head raised up to meet the former Kazekage, and then he blinked in thought. "Wait," his hand went up to indicate that Lord Rasa shouldn't speak. "Wait-"

The preteen turned to his sister. "We are going to go over there, you good here?"

"Yes."

"Kankuro, can you stay here as well?" The current Kazekage realized what the kid was doing. Even in the afterlife, even after she was dead, Kurokawa was protecting her secret.

"Sure Kazekage, we'll stay here."

"This better actually have something to do with you being haunted, Kazekage. We do not have time for stories-" The elder nomad cautioned.

Taiki glared, before he lied to the unknown woman. "I am the reason he's being haunted, and this story may help convince me to get it to stop."

"Brother-" "No-, I need to know then we'll go find which Number is responsible and maybe get it to stop... But right now, can you just make sure they aren't any dumber than they are? Kay?"

"Who are you kid to call our leader dumb?" Jaqui stepped forward menacingly.

"We'll stay here." His sister ignored the threat.

"Alright, follow me so others don't overhear." The preteen lead the two Kazekage's away from the rest of the group.

Lord Rasa glanced over his two audience members. "I'll start from after your group left-"

* * *

Rasa had made a promise to himself for his son, he would watch over Yumi and make sure she stayed safe. However, he found it infinitely easier to keep an eye out on his own children. Kankuro, Temari, and Temari's Leaf husband were all deeply involved in decision making in the camp.

He felt a small sense of accomplishment as he watched Temari and Kankuro interact with not only Suna ninjas, but all others. Temari every now and again whacking a few overly-anxious ninjas on the head. Her husband's laziness gave him significant concern- his constant sighing, rubbing of his head, and the word 'troublesome' being muttered, but he trusted his daughter's judgement. Karura seemed to think that the two balanced each other but he wasn't yet convinced.

Just as he thought of his wife, she appeared with an exasperated smile. "Yumi went off on patrol again. I tried to convince her to stay with me longer but she dodged out."

Lord Rasa frowned. The woman his youngest son was interested in, seemed to be always dashing here and there, and always eating.

"She hasn't not been on patrol." Rasa frowned to which his wife shrugged. "Which way did she go this time?"

"Towards the underground camp, said she was going to make a large circle." Karura smiled at Rasa's long sigh. "She will be fine."

"Aren't Jieti trained to stay with their team?" He muttered annoyed. She covered such a vast area, that he was wearing out just watching her.

His wife attempted to soothe his frustration. "I believe body guards are trained to operate alone even if they are on a team. Remember those who came with the visiting Lords back when?"

"Don't remind me of them" Rasa muttered at the poor memory, before stretching to move. "I'll go find her."

"She'll be back dear."

"I'm not sure about that, every time she is getting further and further away from here, closer to the direction the strike team went."

"She wouldn't leave on her own, that'd be suicide."

Rasa eyed his wife carefully. "I don't know what she's doing, but if she goes, she won't be alone."

...

* * *

….

"She didn't-" Taiki immediately reacted. "Oh fuck-"

"She came towards the battle field?" Gaara interrupted as well. His translucent eyebrows furrowed wrinkles on the bridge of his nose. Had his father turned her around and thus that was the cause of her death?

"No." Lord Rasa softly shook her head. "But she-" He paused before his face soured in disgruntlement. "-she went on her own patrols constantly. Always running back and forth, creeping closer to where your fight was. The few moments I paused her long enough to talk, she'd just mention that it'd be okay and if not you'd call her- as if it was I who needed consolation."

Lord Rasa eyed his son. "Just how strong is Yumi?"

"Strong enough!" Taiki crossed his arms in rebuttal instantly.

His youngest son however just let silence settle between them, not answering the question nor deflecting.

Certain Yumi was not just a taijutsu fighter, he decided to let the topic drop. "Fine- I'll continue. Anyway, the day dramatically changed when-"

…

* * *

….

"WE MUST! WE MUST!" Asami ran out of a tent near Kankuro.

His son jerked towards her, as she fell in her stumbling desperation and was already scrambling back up to her feet. "WE ARE ALL NEEDED. IT COMES! FORBIDDEN. BANNED. DEVIL EATER - IT WILL DESTROY ALL. THE ONI!"

"Hey, hey-" Kankuro's tone changed as he tried to corral her in his arms.

"IT COMES! IT COMES. WE ARE NEEDED. WE MUST NOT LET IT COME! -WILL BE CONSUMED!" Asami violently thrashed, her eyes unfocused.

The current and former Kages and advisers moved towards her, other ninjas all following. Yumi stood back, not quite as far as the other Jieti but not with the ninjas either.

"Again, can't understand this half sentence thing." His son gently muttered to the woman in his arms, who was tattooed with a pattern that almost seemed familiar to Rasa.

"Where the others are fighting. Meer hours away. It is coming up." Asami looked up towards Kankuro and then across the ninjas and Kages.

"If it does, it will destroy this world from strongest to weakest. A hundred-thousand strong, it eats the souls of those it kills. Never to reincarnate, never to pass to the other side. If you do not go to help, the others and all of us will fall. Divided, we all fall. A hundred-thousand strong, worse than the devils of the darkest pit it consumes. Strongest to Weakest it will eat."

"Can we verify this information?" The Meikage glanced to the Tsuchikage.

"There's ways we can communicate long distance." The leaf ninja, Ino, who had helped pass out Yumi's cakes spoke up. Her hands immediately went together as her head bowed.

"Give me a moment too." Mubi a sound ninja muttered, his eyes rolling back.

"Same." A ninja with Cedar on his headband closed his eyes.

Mubi jerked forward first, eyes wide. "My ninja confirmed it! This thing is attacking a enemy-made-demon they couldn't defeat, and consuming it with ease!"

"Mine confirm the same. Multiple have attacked it and their attacks did nothing."

"It killed those who brought it over. Ninja reinforcements are being requested." Ino was the last to rise her head back up.

Rasa frowned as he watched the group reflected horrified and determined expressions. An uneasy feeling turned through him as the ninjas around all looked at each other trying to figure out what to do.

"The small group that's in the underground encampment can protect the injured there. And so the rest of us can stop the fight at their door front rather here which is close to the injured and a few villages. It's the least amount of risk-" It was a sky ninja who rallied the group, his gaze went to the leaf ninja Shikamaru.

"Bothersome, but true. Not allowing whatever it is to get here will reduce any casualties."

"Reinforcements are immediately needed."

"We'll go." Temari lifted her chin and glanced to Shikamaru.

"Us too." Ino gestured to Choji and even Karui.

"So with there already being a protective group in our underground base, we can all abandon this camp?" The question was poised by one of the remaining Jieti.

"Yes" The Tsuchikage confirmed.

Karura briefly found Lord Rasa's hand. Their youngest son was on the front line against this thing and now their second son and oldest daughter were going to go too. The next battle was about to begin, and they were already behind.

"Not Asami- she's a civilian. I'll take her to go with the injured." Kankuro protectively wrapped an arm around the half-crazed woman.

"It would be best if we stay outside, to see better." She tried to hiss herself free from his arms but to no avail.

"Prepare to move out!" Temari shouted to all.

"Gather everything you need for a fight. We do not know exactly what we will be dealing with. It will be a long run!" Meikage ordered.

Rasa immediately noticed Yumi's chest rise in a dramatic exhale, her gaze yet again going towards where the strike team was. If she ran all out there, he was certain he would not be able to keep up. But then, despite the hardiness in her gaze, she surprised them all- "I am staying here."

Almost immediately she looked like she wanted to take back those words, but with the slightest of shake of her head she didn't.

A surprised Jieti came up from behind her. "What?"

"I told the Kazekage I'd guard here, if he needs me, he said he'd call me directly. He hasn't so till then… here's my position." She didn't sound certain.

Kankuro locked his eyes on her as well. Temari, Ino, Shikamaru- their eyes all showing they were just as confused as Rasa felt. It was obvious to all, she wanted to go.

…

* * *

…

"She declined to go with you?" Gaara frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Do you think I'm lying to you?"

"No, but Yumi's impulse control for not jumping into a fight is non-existent."

"Hey! She waits for about half a second!" Taiki took insult over the Kazekage's comment, though he too couldn't say it wasn't quite untrue.

"She volunteered to stay. It was obvious she wanted to go, but supposedly she told you that she'd stay so she did."

Gaara felt his chest hurt. She stayed, to die, specifically because of him. He should have requested her to the battlefield, but he didn't want that thing going after it. If only-

"I should have told her to go to the other-side of the world." Bitterly Taiki chewed on the inside of his cheek.

…

* * *

…

"I am staying here." She repeated, and then smiled at Kankuro with a ridiculously confident grin. "I'll make sure Asami stays safe, no problem."

Rasa frowned, ticked. He glanced briefly towards his wife, who had the same torn look. And then with an exhale he decided "We are staying too."

Temari's gaze landed on them, her eyes asking why.

"If something comes this way, your father and I will use our sand and gold to block it from getting close to where the injured are." His wife explained more easily than he could. Though the truth was that he couldn't just leave his son's love interest here alone to be a last line of defense. Her taijutsu could not be as effective as his gold or his wife's sand.

Rasa felt Yumi's green eyes studying him, as if they were children volunteering. Harshly he returned her stare but she did not even blink. Instead she smiled. "It will be nice to have the company."

His lip twitched while Karura silently grinned back at the young woman. Company? They were not staying just to be company. Did she not realize how dangerous it would be to stay here alone if something did come this way? How foolish?

"Akihito." Kankuro turned to a deceased sand nin. "You too."

"We'll stay with the former Kazekage as well." A small number of deceased sand ninjas stepped forward as well

"In truth, we need you at the front lines." Tsuchikage frowned, his brows furrowing. His gaze on the young woman who had caused the change in direction.

Ino stepped to Yumi. "Yumi, they need our help."

Green eyes flashed immediately to doubt. A pained look, as if she wanted to go, crossed her face. And then a seriousness as her gaze yet again went towards where the battle was. It was almost like she was listening or watching – able to see what was happening with the way she stood so still and yet engrossed. "Um-" She started, her head cocking. "Uh…" Her cheek twitched and then returned to normal. "Um-" She shook her head.

It was easy to tell she was torn. But again, she shocked everyone. With an innocent look and a hopeful tone she smiled. "I already got Kawa to go help them. So, someone needs to stay here just in case. And that's me."

Rasa's, Ino's, Kankuro's, Temari's, the other Kage's-

All their eyes grew large in shock.

She did what!?

Shikamaru stepped forward with curiosity in his tone. "You knew this thing was coming and help was needed?"

"Uh, no. I was just worried about the Kazekage so I told Kawa to go. After I explained that we were in a relationship together, he went." Idiotically she rubbed the back of her head.

Eyes popped out everywhere. Temari went white while Kankuro's jaw dropped. Ino stepped back from her in fear. Shikamaru shook a pointed finger at her, while Rasa could only feel his dead heart stop.

"Oh shit!" Ino's curse awoke everyone from their frozen states. Screams and orders erupted out as every ninja hustled as fast as they could. A new reason to hurry frantically ushered them out.

"MOVE OUT NOW!"

"RIGHT NOW!"

"MOVE PEOPLE!"

"CODE RED!"

"CALL IT CODE TEAL!"

"FORGET DOUBLE SPEED, FASTEST THERE WINS!"

"PRAYERS FOR THE KAZEKAGE!"

Rasa still stood stunned. Since a deceased could not go against a Death God, what could he do to even save his son? Was Gaara already dead?

"You didn't really?" Kankuro rushed back to Yumi, mid-preparation.

She cocked her head as if that was a dumb question. "He would have found out eventually, and this way he'll help Gaara-sama."

"He'll kill him!" Rasa agreed with Kankuro's shout.

Her head barely shook no, "No." A soothing certainty emitted from her features as if she knew no harm would come to Gaara. "No he won't. I know he won't. And, together they will figure out how to stop this thing too, just you see." Her smile showed no doubt in Kurokawa nor the current Kazekage.

Rasa smirked. He should have that same confidence in those around him. He didn't know how she had that confidence in those that weren't even near her.

Confused, Kankuro's tone still held disbelief. "Are you really not joining?"

Only half a second of doubt crossed her gaze this time. "I am going to stay. But please make sure everyone comes back, or as many as you can - yourself included."

"I will." His son's hand went to her shoulder.

And then only a handful remained.

…

* * *

…

Gaara felt only annoyance at his father's retelling. "Are you really telling me they all thought Kurokawa was going to kill me?"

"I think Yumi is the only who thought he'd not." His father answered, while Taiki gave Gaara a look that said 'I was going to kill you, remember?'

Gaara's frown deepened- there was no reason for his father to know that Kurokawa had attacked him.

Finally annoyed at the preteen's constant glare, Gaara threw the boy back a look that stated 'But you didn't.'

Taiki huffed, now also annoyed. The Kazekage rolled his eye and turned back to his father. "you stayed behind?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I'm a Kazekage, you really think I'd let some little girl stay alone by herself?" Rasa crossed his arms immediately.

"As if you are fucking on her level!" Taiki jumped up with a fist, instantly riled.

Gaara frowned, "Yumi's not-"

"Oh I know. I learned that as soon as that thing came through the seal by us. Trust me. The Oni went straight for her and I still can't figure out how she didn't die right then and there-"

Cold flushed through Taiki's spirit, all his energy vanished. "The Oni went after Yumi?" Was Number 39 and Yumi both gone from existence? No- that couldn't be. That didn't make any sense… right?

….

* * *

….

"They won." Yumi jumped back to land beside the rest of them. She squatted down with a snack bag in hand.

"Are you able to receive messages from someone there?" Akihito asked the question Rasa wanted to know.

"No? Can you? It would be great if you could confirm it." She grinned curiously, not understanding what Akihito was truly asking.

Another Suna ninja turned to look at their Lord, questioning just what were they doing here. That was what he had been asking himself since nightfall. Why were they not on the battlefield, but she hadn't gone. And he had made a promise to himself...

"It is pulled back." The woman, Asami stood up. "The Shinigamis, the one who protects the vacuum, pulled it back. It is back. This is good. It is pulled back. The Oni will not reign." Her unfocused eyes stared out into the night.

The full moon casted shadows in the dark. Yumi, regardless of the time of day or situation, was still eating. "Do you think they will return soon?"

There was a sadness to her voice that didn't match the news.

"They will probably have to tend to their injured first." Karura consoled the young woman who was maybe just anxious to see his son again. Or, was she waiting for her foster father?

A new anxiety built within Rasa, this type of family meet and greet was not something he wanted. That death god obviously wanted to kill them, this would just add to his reasons. Lord Rasa was sure of that.

Yumi bobbed her head, accepting his wife's answer. "Hope there's not too many that-" She let the sentence fall off, regret coloring her eyes.

She glanced up, relaxing.

"It is done." Asami grinned. "Only the vacuum is left to be rid of." That grin turned vicious, and her condemning gaze went to Yumi.

"Vacuum?" Unphased, the seated girl didn't seem to notice the tension rising.

"What do you mean?" Lord Rasa found himself asking, his body tensing at the way the crazy woman was looking at Yumi.

"The only one left that could destroy the world, must be destroyed before-"

Yumi's head shot right, her body rushing to her knees. "Uh!" Half standing to run, she jerked back towards Asami. "We need to get you out of here. Everyone get back- Get back!"

Yumi dropped off Asami 100 feet away and then appeared beside Lord Rasa. Stealing Karura, she motivated them all to run in the direction she was dashing to.

"What the-" The ground cracked.

"The oni! The Oni! The Oni!" Asami screamed over and over and over again. Her hand pointed out as demon mask after demon mask over long black tentacles shot out from the seal the deceased had all come from. "It's coming through our first gate!"

Akihito jumped into a protective stance in front of them, a tentacle speared him through the head. Then the heart. Then the shoulder. The leg. His knee. Yumi was running to get to him, but it was too late. The things attacks were too rapid.

A tentacle wrapped about Akihito. And crushed. Out of existence.

"The ONI!" Asami screamed out.

Fear overtook Lord Rasa's soul. The thing that guarded the lower levels from ever coming up, that killed demons, devils, and death gods- was here.

...

* * *

...

**Well, we know the ending of Rasa's little tale, but do any of them? Taiki's thinking Yumi and Number 39 might have been destroyed out of existence, Gaara believes Yumi's dead, although what exactly does Lord Rasa know- what will he tell the two who care so much for our little hero?**

**Anyone remembering the red, gold, and sand color bracelet's on Hiiro's wrists right about now? Any ideas to how those fit in, or how Number 39 became a cat thing? **

**And just where is this Oni that's absence is causing so much trouble and worry? And any thoughts on Taiki's sister? She smoothly switched into responding to Ko well, although I bet she will have a few questions for her little brother later! ^-^**

Oh and please review. Honestly it really-really-_REALLY_ helps me out with inspiration and motivation. There's a lot going on in the story right now and it's a bit hard getting the characters to play nice. (Who else can see Gaara and Taiki getting into it?). :)

\- Rain


	7. Chapter 7: The Obliterated Tale & Fight

**Ash - Glad the previous chapter gave you a lift up for the bad week. It will be interesting when Hiiro and Gaara finally meet. Think seeing Gaara will spark anything in her, or will he recognize her!? And not sure how you'll feel about this chapter. I'm all like "Poor Hiiro!" and maybe laughing at how Taiki acts.**

**All: This chapter may be a little bit of a downer, but life isn't always nice. I hope you all enjoy it even so.**  
**\- Rain**

...

* * *

"The oni! The Oni! The Oni!" Asami screamed over and over. Her voice painfully shrill, filled with panic at the impending doom that was rising unnaturally out of the broken seal.

Her shaking tattoo covered hand flew out to point at the masked-tentacles. "It's coming through our first gate. It needs to be stopped, how can it be stopped!?"

Her entire body shook and stumbled, her wild eyes jumping from person to person. They landed on on Yumi, but then flung to the deceased suna nina - Akihito who moved into a protective stance.

Before the ninja could even get his foot properly back, a tentacle shot through his head, mask and all. A second spiked through his heart, rapid-fire. A third his shoulder. Then the first one attacked his leg and wrapped about his knee.

Yumi's body was dead sprinting to him. The vacuum charged-

But it was too late. The tentacles crushed his soul. It didn't kill him. It didn't send him back. It wiped him from existence, as only the Oni could.

Asami's possessed body shook. Unseeing her eyes stared out. Her teeth chattered.

And then her head tilted up. Their purpose of protecting the Kage would end today. The world would end today. Warn all,

"THE ONI!"Her vocal cords burned as she screamed, they screamed. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Her jaw stretched as wide as it could as screams of the forbidden bellowed out into the moonlit sky.

Still a few feet away from Akihito, Yumi's face scrunched at the gruesome sight. Sorrow clamped itself about her heart.

Again, she was too late. A feeling of helplessness briefly shimmered within her as she grieved at the man's death and her failure. Never before this war, had she failed so much. Why wasn't she better? Why did so many keep dying before her- weren't Jieti, her, supposed to be the first to die? She was the number one Jieti-erito. And yet-

Fifty tentacles struck out from above. She dodged the first, ducked under the second, zigged around the third, fourth and fifth. Growing within her desperation was a need to do better, be better. With a spinning kick, she fearlessly attacked. The mask shattered under her knee. The tentacle crumbled as cold energy, unlike any she felt before, entered her. With brief, chilled exhale, Yumi did not hesitate. Again, and again, and again, she struck and the monster struck back. It cut into her arm and leg, broke her ribs- but she fought with equal vigor.

Her strikes turned from ten to twenty, thirty, fifty, but tentacle after tentacle lashed out. They moved faster. Their dark silhouettes but shadows under the full moon. Their power knocked the wind out of her and coated her tongue with iron.

Within seconds, Yumi's moonlit world, darkened. The beast's masked limbs blocked the moon light and her sight in all directions. They flooded in to her, but Yumi didn't give up. She kept fighting, kept trying. The cold chakra felt like ice in her veins. With a cringe, Yumi felt her skin began to hurt as her ability, Salt expanded until it pressing against her skin-

Lord Rasa's voice made it through the mass. "Fall back! There's too many!"

All but the one he wanted, responded. His gaze narrowed as he tried to see if the girl was still alive in there. The tentacles were still attacking so she had to be. With Anihito, the limbs had stopped the moment they wiped him from existence leaving only his shell behind.

"Oh no!" Karura's eyes widened in horror as a body sailed out of the mob. Blood fell from it like rain. The young woman's arm was flopped wildly in the wrong direction.

"AH!" Yumi's head jerked back as her only mobile hand barely made it through the revival jutsu. She flipped backwards to land on her feet right as the spineless spears were inches from piercing her yet again. "Fuck!"

Sand launched up from the jewelry Gaara had made. It blocked the first two attacks giving her time to respond. Her left and right arms barely redirected thirteen of them but the fourteenth struck. The sand tried to be amour for her, but it was too late. Pain ripped through her, halting everything.

"No." Karura stood stunned next to her husband. Yumi had been pierced through the heart… It was if time slowed-

The Oni masked rotated 180 on the bloody tentacle to look at the skewered body that now hung on it. As if to make sure of its success, the tentacle expanded, fattening itself out. A horrific wet crunch and crack echoed as Yumi's head jerked, blood spewing from her mouth. Her fingers stopped twitching.

Sand given to her by their son was soaked in her blood. As in enraged it exploded off her. The small dangerous granules swirled menacingly about her. They shielded the dead girl of three more tentacle strikes. In the same instant the one through her heart all the way back to the main body vanished. It's work was done. A hundred masks all turned at the scene as Yumi's body fell limp. They smiled as the grass crumbled. It's remnants blown away by the wind, also destroyed by the Oni. Uncaught, she fell through Rasa's gold dust. Her body landed unnaturally on the ground with a light thud.

* * *

"Through the fucking heart!" Taiki's hands gripped into fists.

Gaara just felt as if all those questions were now answered. But the pain was no better. He now knew- and still he felt so hollow.

"Yeah." Lord Rasa scanned the grieving two, a curious look on his face. Didn't they know?

The former Kazekage studied them just a moment longer before he continued the story, "and then, she got right back up."

Taiki's head snapped up first, disbelief and hope reflected on his semi-translucent face. "The rejuvenation jutsu?"

Gaara felt confusion and a whole new set of unknowns poured over him. If that wasn't how she died, then-

"Your sand returned her, her hand finishing signs they had been twitching. Bloodied, she stood back up-"

* * *

Yump spit up blood with her left hand flashing through signs she hadn't remembered starting. The sand that had defended her, returned to her skin. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the Oni moving. It was coming for her, _again_.

"Get back!" Lord Rasa surged his gold out. The flood bought valuable seconds. Yumi promptly dead sprinted away under his attack's protection. Launching herself she landed ninety-degrees from where they stood. Her body twisted towards the Oni, every masked tentacle on that thing was tracking her. The large full moon painted the scene in a murky yellow-white. The most fleeting pause occurred.

And then the Oni was on her again, this time a hundred and fifty tentacles coming down. She dodged, ducked, blocked, and attacked- barely fending them off.

Sand and Gold flooded forward, attempting again to halt the violent attack. Twenty tentacles moved towards the deceased ninjas. Immediately all the deceased sand ninjas shook themselves from their previous shock and join in the fight. Lady Karura and Lord Rasa felt the suffocating overwhelm as another thirty tentacles went their way. Their gold and sand were pierced. The masks and spineless limbs formed whips, spears, ropes, clubs, and blades. It constantly changed how it struck out, bombarding without reprieve.

"Can't let it win! Can't let it win! It will kill all, strongest first and weakest last. The world will cease to exist, cease to revive. Never again be! We must not fail! We need- we need- what do we need. What can we do!?" Asami shouted out, half crazed.

Suddenly that small bit of their son's sand burst from the mass of tentacles around Yumi, disconnecting itself from everything. A hundred and fifty of the boneless limbs broke instantly into dust. Lord Rasa's gold and his wife's sand also fell.

"AHHHHHHH-Shit!" Yumi screamed. Hugging herself, she shook her head desperately under the full moon light. Her whole body shook. Half staggering she stepped back into a fighting stance. Her legs trembled. Sweat dripped from her hair and arms, it made her damp pants cling to her legs-

"Yumi's hurt!" Karura's exclamation corrected Rasa's vision. The sweat soaking her skin, that was dripping on to the grassless ground below... It was _blood_.

Yumi, his youngest son's love, was covered head to toe in blood.

"Here!" His gold pooled under her feet lifting her to them so they could fight together.

But two-hundred tentacles came down this time, all with different masks.

"They are striking!" She jumped from his platform, barely making it before his gold was overtaken. The masks followed her. The sand ninjas courageously charged out to her but again tentacles intercepted.

The Oni wouldn't be deterred. Stabbing, slicing, grasping for her. A tentacle wrapped about her leg, breaking it. A second went through her arm. A third her shoulder, hip, stomach-

Yumi screamed as Karura's sand ripped her free, throwing her towards the other deceased nins. "Take her to help, go for support-"

Before Karura could finish her order, tentacles broke through Lord Rasa's formed wall.

"Watch out!" Yumi pushed a deceased sand nin out of the way. Three tentacles all struck fatal blows - through her head, heart, and chest. The rest of the tentacles came flooding down while Lady Karura and Lord Rasa standing on their floating platforms overhead both felt their souls run cold.

Gaara's-

They blinked. The moon itself seemed to blink- Everything briefly seemed to go dark.

And again the tentacles fell, the grass and trees were gone, their ninja companions- all gone.

"It destroyed them." Lady Karura muttered in horror of the Oni.

"Yumi-" Lord Rasa confused stared at Yumi crouched on the ground, trembling. Her hands were in fists, arms down. She was curled in a large crater, screaming against her own clenched teeth. Her hurt silhouette vibrated, while her downward face held back pain and agony.

Blood, soaked her every inch. Her skin shredded by the Oni.

His gold went to protect her. Sand blocked it.

"Karura-" "It's not me!"

"Our son's sand-" he realized. "We need to block for her."

"How can we get word to the others, we can't hold or stop this thing." Karura glanced the the towering monster. "Maybe her-" Her eyes landed on Asami who was wandering around muttering. She was the only other one left.

"Hurry!" Lord Rasa shouted to Yumi. Tentacles again rained down. The girl couldn't get out of their way. They were not going to escape this, no one was going to escape this. But worse, no one else knew of horror they were all going through. Rasa glanced to his wife as tentacles now targeted them too. "See if she can't send a message."

Karura nodded before sand landed her beside Asami, "Can you get the others a message?"

"There is a message, a message. We need a sacrifice for a message. The death god pulled it back. The death god is trying to get here. Maybe. Maybe. We need a sacrifice, A sacrifice for the message. Maybe again- A sacrifice, an animal. We need, we need." Asami clawed at her hair, her mind rattling as whispers swarmed her body. Her eyes rolled up and back before coming forward again. Saliva dripped from her mouth as words that were not hers poured from her mouth - repeating the same thing over and over again.

Shaking her head violently, Asami went stiff before she just twitched.

Karura frowned before sending her sand out. Far out, deep in a hole in the ground, a small unlucky black cat was plucked out.

"You need to tell the others we can't hold it back. We need them here as soon as possible." Karura presented the woman the feline.

Immediately it clawed Asami's skin.

"Soon, Yes soon, now!"

"Good." Karura glanced to her husband and Yumi. Her heart hurt, they were not going to survive this night…

The whispers muttered as the deceased sand woman left. Shinigami. Shinigami. They could feel the Death God trying to push through. Impossible. But, forbidden could bring a death god spirit over. For the Kazekage, they would. For the living. And, maybe the vacuum and the Shinigami could sacrifice themselves to take the Oni back- then that would solve all. And if they didn't-

Asami, the whispers, smiled. They would, sacrifice. It would solve it all.

Cutting the host's arm, the whispers let the blood drip onto the panicking cat. They whispered to the wind, to the world, to the dead. Forbidden words sung a song to call death, a specific death, a god of death. Number 39. It would hear, would feel, and if he accepted the contract, then it would cross over into this little body.

"ASAMI!" The vacuum's scream jerked Asami's conscious forward just in time to see a masked tentacle.

The pain about her leg drove her vision white.

The vacuum! Everything in her screamed as Yumi shoved her body out of the way.

Did their song work?

It didn't matter- the Oni was about to kill them all. And, the vacuum now knew of their existence. Now and only now was their chance. At least, maybe, they could get both the Oni and the Vacuum in one swoop. Maybe without the Shinigami it would still work.

"we sacrifice- We SACRIFICE!" Summoning all their strength, the whispers poured out wrapping the air about the oni.

For the Kazekage.

They pushed- attempting to obliterate. All that was living would feel the pain that was forbidden, an end so cruel all would want to be dead. The whispers had been created to make sure it would never be used again. And now they laughed at the irony that this would be their act, _for the Kazekage…_

The cat, the Shinigami- jumped into the Oni's mass of attacking tentacles - and then immediately back out.

Well, at least they would get the Oni as it was distracted by it's torture of the Vacuum. And with the Oni attacking the Vacuum, then they would get it too.

The whispers tightened, sending skin-peeling pain to all living in their grasp.

The moon, everything darkened-

* * *

"And then there was a bright light, and we ended up here. I assume whatever was on that woman, and the death god in the cat was able to push back the Oni here while taking us with. Leaving Yumi there." Lord Rasa finished.

"What?" Gaara couldn't follow those words. Yumi there?

"What!? Number 39 isn't here, he's still there! Or dead, but if he was killed by the Oni - then this guy here wouldn't be haunted, you idiot!"

Lord Rasa's eyebrows furrowed.

"Yumi died." Gaara stated definitely.

"No- My gold and your mother's sand is still over there, with her."

"Wait-" Taiki blinked.

"Hold on just a minute... " He shook his head.

"You didn't." Taiki couldn't believe what he just heard. "You really didn't leave something on her of yours or your spirit, did you? Like if Number 39 is there. Do you have a death wish or something!? Jeeze, the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree with you two! No wonder he's pissed right now. Like I raised her and love her sure, but he's a fucking death god. Their love is death, literal death. All the time!"

Taiki paused, as the full weight of what was happening to Gaara finally hit him. "You're fucking crazy! You are going to get your son killed! Get those things off her right now!"

"I can't, but my son should be able to…"

"Are you two saying Yumi's alive? How?" Gaara's heart tore. He remembered the blood, how it soaked his clothing. Her blood. He had looked for her body, for any sign of her. And then, he accepted the truth.

How could she be alive? She _was_ alive? Hope and despair crushed his spirit.

Words failed him. Thoughts failed him.

"I'll explain it again. So Lady Karura and I were defending Yumi which the Oni was going after relentlessly when-"

* * *

Yumi jumped back only to land under the Oni's assault again. This time she couldn't duck or dodge in time. Instead, she just took it.

It attacked her brutally.

As she healed, it was tearing her up. The sand left her skin as cold burned through her chest, its energy entering her painfully. Tears blurred Yumi's eyes. A tentacle went through her arm, another crushed her leg. But the worst agony was her own cells. The energy was too much, Salt was too far forward.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh!" Her body jerked naturally forward towards the fetal position as blood splattered itself out from her. The chakra, energy, whatever the frozen feeling was, was _just_ too much! It was like it couldn't fit and yet she kept taking more and more. Tears spilled out of her eyes, as if there was no more room for them within.

_Move, _Yumi begged herself. Running all of a step, her leg needed to go up in a block. Another tentacle went into her back. A hundred and seventy-five masks were around her. Gaara's sand saturated with her blood whisked about her, blocking as much as it could. But there was too many. Yumi struggled to keep going, but it was too many. Pain flashed through her from her side, her thigh, her left eye. Yumi tried to grab, grapple, redirect, block- blow to her head. The full moon peaked through the mass, illuminating the horrific nightmare.

"Yumi!" She heard the others scream for her, but she couldn't escape. She was surrounded. With the cold within her, Yumi couldn't even feel anything else. Salt focused only on the Oni, as if they couldn't even blink or else they would be dead.

But, as if to remind her she wasn't alone, Gaara's blood soaked sand wrapped about her wrist. As if to say, they were together to the end, it briefly squeezed. Then Lord Rasa's gold and Lady Karura's sand followed. Those two tugged to try to point her the way out. Yumi tried to go where they directed. But with every move she made, tentacles came down yet again blocking her, attacking, trying to _murder_ her.

She healed, instantly. Again, and again. And the attacks kept coming. Her every injury healed, over and over. Yet, Yumi didn't remember going through the signs. In fact, she was too busy blocking and trying to not die to go through those hand signs. However, her mind was fatigued. The attacks didn't stop. Cold and so full, Yumi felt like she was going to throw up or explode.

Her mind begged for peace, for a moment of reprieve. But the full moon held the truth. Tentacle surrounded her in all directions. This was it.

Even if it wasn't it, Yumi almost wanted it to be _it_. For the first time in her life, Yumi didn't want to fight anymore. For the first time in her life, Yumi wasn't sure she could just keep going. She had the energy, but it hurt so much. The cold energy assulted her. Salt was so powerful it was too _much_. Unnatural agony-

And then it was worse.

So much worse. Unbreathingly worse. It was like her skin was coming off. Her lungs exploding. Her bones all shattering.

And then- briefly, momentarily she felt him coming for her like he only he would. Kawa?

Was this it?

And then, briefly, she felt Salt's rage and power. Salt pulled her consciousness back to nothing. White met her, as her body jerked and blood poured. And yet, Yumi's last feeling wasn't of fear or pain. With a ball of violent security that boomed out in all directions and a powerful light that rivaled the sun, Yumi's fight ended.

…

* * *

…

"So how are you able to say she's still alive?" Gaara didn't understand.

"I can still feel my gold over there."

"You two have no idea the wrath you probably have brought upon yourselves."

"Maybe I deserve it." Lord Rasa surprised his son and Taiki.

Taiki's head jerked away. "Fuck."

"Father-" "If number 39 comes after you, I'll stop him." Taiki interrupted the Kazekage, picking the axe up and then putting it back.

"You will stop a shinigami?" Lord Rasa repeated.

"Something like that. I think I know how to get this guy to stop being haunted too… But-" Taiki glanced to the Kazekage. "I assume Number 39 is with Yumi now and that's why she's not with you… When he comes back here, which he'll have once that cat dies, you have to take care of her."

Yumi was alive. Gaara felt everything in him wanting to go find where ever she was now. "I will and I'll find her-"

"No, numbnuts! Fuck, what did I just tell your father! You are being haunted because of that little bit of gold and sand being with her now! Don't fucking go find her with Number 39 being there, she's probably hasn't gone to you because she knows he'll fucking kill you on sight! Jeeze!"

"You should be careful what you call my son." Lord Rasa's tone turned icy.

Taiki rolled his eyes.

_That's right-_ Gaara thought. She's been alive this whole time and not even a letter.

Because he hadn't saved her? He left her there, to die. Believed she was dead…

_But at least she's alive._ If his father believed it and Kurokawa, then he would too.

"You said, you can get the haunting to stop." Gaara glanced to Kurokawa.

"I'll have more luck than you will anyway."

"Alright." Gaara nodded leaving it at that.

Kankuro watched the three return to the group more solemn than they had left. "Sooooo?"

"Yumi's alive."

"WHAT!?"

Ko glanced to Kurokawa who nodded.

"We do not have time for personal business." The nomadic leader frowned, feeling used by the disrespectful boy and the blood-stained Kazekage.

"Yah, yah. I said I'd handle it so I'll handle it."

"Do you need help with the Shinigamis?" Lord Rasa surprised everyone yet again, including his own wife. Spirits could not win against Death Gods.

"You-" The tribal elder recovered. "You dare imply you'll fight shinigamis?"

"No you old hag, I am saying we have an understanding. Which if this guy here," Taiki used his axe to point to the Kazekage, "doesn't do something stupid in the future and remembers his debts, he might find himself with the same influence."

With a gleam and a look in her eyes, the tribal leader glanced towards the Kazekage. "Because he killed so many." She muttered

Anger sparked within the preteen's eyes. "If you so much as open your mouth again, you near death artifact, I'll convince the fucking death gods to haunt you. Do you know what they are like? What they like? Death is all there is to them and all there should be, not injuring, not killing- just death. They want babes before they leave the womb. Elder, young, and adults to all take their last breaths. They want plants to not grow, birds to not sing, dogs to not bark. You are right, shinigami like death. But they don't care about the living nor how many anyone kills."

"Tai." His sister held sympathy in her eyes before she glanced to the woman. Her eyes hardened as she frowned. "Water cares not, it exists regardless if others live or die. Try as we might to control it completely, we'll never succeed."

Everyone glanced to the woman in her early thirties.

"Seriously sis, always with the metaphors. Most of which never have anything to do with the actual situation! Jeeze." Taiki shook his head annoyed.

Then he glanced to the Kazekage. "Look, go back. We'll take care of the haunting. Devils are moving more into this plane and until the Oni's back it's not good to be here and may start affecting the living." With a wave of his hand and turning his head away, he dismissed the Kazekage. "Remember that you are debited and what I said, a'ight."

"It's impossible for the living to remember this realm."

"That's it." Taiki took his axe down. "I'm killing your worthless wrinkled ass."

"TAI!" Ko stepped in front of her brother while Chaqui and Jaqui also went into fighting positions.

"Thank you Kurokawa." Gaara ignored the scene. If that boy had wanted to attack, he would have- just like the man had attacked him without warning before. "Let's go back, respected elder. You have shown me that you were correct."

The elder glared at him, saying nothing.

…

* * *

…

The Kazekage opened his eyes. His legs hurt and his back felt stiff.

"I don't think I can stand up, brother." Kankuro's hand went to his knee, his face showing pain.

"You will that we accomplished. But I feel the spirits have calmed." The elder stood with ease, the two nomads with her.

She walked past them. "We will take our leave." And then she stopped at the door, "but…" she looked at the Kazekage with an uncertain glance, "we may be in contact to do this again in the future…"

Kankuro frowned at the Nomad's exit as he struggled to get up. "I don't feel any different and I don't think that did anything other than give me leg cramps and ruin our flooring."

"Hn." Gaara didn't really reply. A strange feeling was turning within him. "Go back to normal status, we'll see what the morning holds."

"Morning- Kazekage, it looks like it's almost night already." Kankuro had opened the blinds which caused his brother to grunt.

"I'll see what we missed and we'll meet morning tomorrow." They had lost a day doing this, and yet he felt no rush.

"If you say so, but I'm going to set up a few extra patrols tonight."

"Good." Gaara's mind drifted, distracted. His glass of sake was calling his name and he wanted to go to his office and look through that file again, the file about the night Yumi died.

Strangely that acceptance he had finally come to about her death, wavered.

* * *

The massive wooden merchant ship rocked. Wind chilled her fingers and arms. Her skirt fluttered at her feet. It blew up its cold up her calves and thighs.

Hiiro trembled as she stood at the rail. The urge to throw up grew as the sun set further and further down into the water. She tried to hold herself together. Closing her eyes, she tried not to think, or to think of anything else.

The ship's course was to take them from tea country and to a port that would start the long travel across the desert to Suna...

But-

Hiiro's eyes blurred as the sun sank a little lower. She tried to fight it, briefly shaking her head no at the reality before her. Again she tried to fill her mind with something else, anything else. Or maybe it was better to think of nothing. So she thought of nothing, The boat's rocking felt good. It was comforting the way the waves ebbed and flowed. It was good the way she felt the rise and fall within her

But-

Her breath shortened and Hiiro felt herself failing against what was to come. Going to Suna, where Kuro knew the sand man was helped her, would make this better in the future right? Going to Suna, meant that maybe she'd remember something, maybe someone would know her... Or maybe the full moon wouldn't be there.

But-

Her skin felt cold as sweat. The full moon was about to be before her. Like blood, the sweat began to soak through her clothing.

Within her, the full moon whispered. Horror clenched about her as she could hear it laugh. Terror tore at her soul as she remembered how the psychotic episode had lasted all night long. Her hands grasped themselves together as if there was something to hold on to, but there wasn't. She didn't have anything within her to hold onto. She wouldn't survive it this time.

Hiiro tilted her head forward. Maybe, she didn't want to. Dead, she should be dead. If what little she felt was anything like what had actually happened. If what little she couldn't remember, was what was done to her... she shouldn't have survived anyway. Her hands released as her vision burred even further. Hiiro pressed her arms further into the rails and yet it felt like nothing was there to support her. She felt the ship's deck below her feet and yet she was falling. Empty, she had nothing.

Her fingers curled into fists as her stomach churned. Her heart beat heavily within her tightening chest. The emptiness within her echoed like a useless, hole filled, barrel- unable of holding onto anything. The full moon wanted her dead, who was she to stand against it?

It would torture her again. It had tortured her. She knew it, she felt it. Torture beyond torture and it had laughed while she screamed.

Hiiro's covered face turned paler. Her skin glistened, clammy. She didn't notice the ache in her forearms were from how hard she was leaning into the rail.

Kuro chirped on her shoulder concerned at the sudden change. He looked about, unable to find what was plaguing her. Something had broken but he couldn't understand what. She had never been like this before. It had to be the Oni but Number 39 couldn't sense it. He needed the sand man to pay his debt and watch her for him. Maybe he, a soon-to-be-dead could understand. If nothing else, then Number 39 could return to the other side where the somehow reaching across from to somehow attack his not-death...

"You should go to your room, the hammock in there may help you. There's a bucket too- in case, uh, you know…" The night shift deckhand made a gesture for throwing up.

Hiiro glanced at him with her one unpatched eye. They didn't understand, no one did.

"It's safer to be in there too. If a storm picks up, a wave might wash you into the sea."

Being washed into the sea, sounded like a good thing to her. But, she nodded her head anyway. The sky darkened even further into a dulling red. At least... maybe... in the room... they wouldn't hear her scream. For, maybe if she bit down hard enough on her blanket, she wouldn't scream. Maybe if she covered her head tight enough, she could block out the nightmare. Or maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could suffocate or stop breathing completely. Then, and only, then she would be saved, right?

Empty. Hiiro nodded yet again, dumbly. Slowly she removed her arms from the rail, her forest green unpatched eye vacantly stared across the deck. With sturdy steps but a prominent limp she crossed the boat to her cabin. She could feel the full moon readying its attack. The wood walls and thick wooden door didn't matter to it. It was coming.

Her skin hurt in the lingering memory she couldn't remember. Like it had been cut off her. Like her bones had been shattered. Like she had been tortured again, and again, and again.

Hiiro trembled as she closed the cabin door silently. Ungracefully she struggled with the lock, tears now falling freely. Her lips trembled as she felt as if she was only locking herself in with her executioner. Kuro again chipped but her ears couldn't hear over her now pounding heart.

She should have jumped over the rail.

Hiiro's shaking knees gave out and she fell to the floor with a painful thud. Her hand rushed to her chest, grabbing the shawl cloth that hung over her. Stupidly she shoved it into her mouth. Immediately a muffled cry filled her voice as her body shook, every cell in her tense. It hurt, she hurt. Knowing what was coming, Hiiro already hurt.

The full moon was coming back for her soul! She knew it! She knew it! Utterly broken and helpless she downed in the emotions that flooded her. Terror, horror, anxiety, pain, dread, death, sickness, paranoia, emptiness, fear- all merged together in an overwhelming whirlpool within her.

What had she done? What type of criminal had she been? What horrible sin had she committed?

It had to be something- for the full moon to hate and punish her so.

Hiiro's head went to the wooden boards as the shadows yet again elongated themselves on her wall. That closed gate in her mind creaked. The chains within her head rattled. Pain she couldn't remember twisted itself through her. Emptiness gave her nothing and yet it was all she had.

_Run_\- she couldn't.

_Run_\- she was stuck.

_Run_\- she hurt.

_Run_\- there was nowhere to go.

_Don't remember._ Hiiro thought as the dirt below her feet was showered in her blood.

_Don't think._ She begged as she was pierced through her chest and forearm by the ghost of the full moon.

_SCREAM!_ She bit harder on her shawl alone in her nightmare as the boat continued on its way.

Four massive arms wrapped around her trembling, flinching, crying frame. The uncomforting, unloving death god curled about her to block her every sight as best he could. They needed to get to the Sand Man soon. One more shift, and he'd be gone from this world. And then- he'd find the Oni that somehow was still attacking her and he'd set this right.

His not-death, never before had she feared and now she silently turned inconsolably hysterical under the full moon light... Number 39 didn't understand what exactly had happened that fight where the Oni had almost obliterated them all. Somehow those cursed things had taken the Oni away. Where they now working together? Was some of the Oni still here? Or was this all in his not-death's head?

Number 39 would never understand how the living could stand not being dead. But until she crossed on her own, he would not push her. And until she recovered, he'd do anything to make that Sand Man care for her in his place.

His four deadly arms held her tightly as her entire body quaked. _The Oni. The Oni! This was all because of the Oni!_

* * *

**Thoughts!? Anyone else feel bad for Yumi? I do! ****T_T**

**And what do you think Hiiro will encounter on her Journey? And any guesses about the Nomadic tribe or the devils?**

**Really, truly - do review. I truly-truly appreciate it and it helps inspire me too! Promise!**

**Also - anyone else think my chapter titles are not so great right now? Any suggestions are welcome as I'm not really feeling what I have for titles now... _**


	8. Chapter 8: It Just Can't Be!

**Ash -** Made my day again. I don't know if anyone will recognize Hiiro or not... Parts of her are the same, but enough of her is different. However fate has a different plan for our heroine. And oh yes - Nomadic tribe and Gaara are probably not done. As their Kazekage, he kinda has to interact with them every now and again but with things being off in the spirit world, maybe we'll see more of them? Please keep reviewing- I enjoy talking with you and you gave me a few ideas that came into being in this chapter ^-^ Also I so appreciate your help with the chapter titles! Reading your comment helped this title idea come to me a little easier. Double win!

**All -** Hope you enjoy this chapter. A few more twists and turns will meet our currently star crossed lovers.

And sorry for the delay in updates. I get a little slow when there's not a lot of feedback. I start the next chapter right away but then kinda wane off in my writing (plus haven't found a good time balance). I hope you don't feel this story is too dramatic - I'm trying to make it somewhat realistic for those who go through hard times or painful events. I promise it wont' take years for Hiiro/Yumi to recover as that wouldn't work well for the plot line but it will be awhile for sometimes in real life it takes years or even decades...

Again Hugs to all you who have ever also felt like this. If you do ever consider suicide - please call or text out. There's a number of hot lines, text apps, online and local groups depending on where you are. I know, it's hard to tell our head that what it thinks isn't true, and sometimes even harder to see the value in ourselves. But we are valuable, our every breath.

**On that note - Let the story begin. Remember** _[This is an inkling of something. A feeling. A subconscious memory the mind can't actually grasp nor the conscious actually remember/recall]_

**Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**\- Rain**

* * *

"Kankuro," The senior medical nin Kimiko walked slowly into the terrorist leader's office. "Would you come with me to my office? It's extremely important."

Kankuro set down his puppeteering tools."Don't tell me I got pulled for a random again?"

"No, but if you'll follow me." The elder waited to hear that he would join, her gaze told him that she had bad news.

Picking up a rag, he wiped off his hands, "yeah, sure. You aren't giving me a good feeling though, doc."

"I can't really say I have one either-" Kimiko turned to lead the way back to the medical wing, specifically her office.

Silence fell between the two, giving Kankuro an even worse feeling.

So far the terrorists had stopped, which meant the nomads were right. Something had haunted the Kazekage and them just sitting there all night somehow had done something. With normalcy having returned, everyone was going back to how they were before. Well- that's what he had thought anyway.

But Kimiko had a look on her face as if the world had turned itself upside down.

Did he have a medical evaluation come back bad? Did Gaara!?

When was the last time they had their annual checkups anyway? Wasn't that months ago? What type of test would take months?

Was he dying!? Or Gaara!?

He couldn't be dying. But the Kazekage dying would be worse...

Shit- he was dying!

Kimiko gestured for him to enter the room first. Sweating through his clothes, Kankuro walked through the door. She quietly closed the door.

Kankuro's eyes jumped from item to item, looking for any hint to what he had. "Shit doc."

Kimiko's gaze raised in surprise.

"How many years do I got left? Or is it months? Days!?"

"Shit! It's days, isn't it!?" Panic surged through him as he severity of his situation.

The short elder medical ninja's head snapped, stunned. Her pupils shrunk as her hair slightly vibrated. Then wrinkles upon wrinkles formed on her forehead and around her lips as she frowned. "What are you talking about? Who told you that!?"

"What? I'm not dying? Isn't that why you brought me here, to tell me my tests came back bad?"

"No- No. That's not why I brought you in here. _This_ is why I brought you here. This letter was brought to us by Yaritori. He used a lot of his weight to have us look into the samples, especially after the last incident… Here, read it-"

_To the Sand Man or someone in Suna,_

Salt-

Kankuro tensed at the word Salt, remembering Yumi and what his brother had told him.

_\- Salt Hiiro was brought to our door by her cat-like-pet, on the night of that fire-bomb that had rivaled the sun._

Kankuro's eyes flew up to Kimiko. She nodded her head back to the letter. "Keep reading."

Swallowing, Kankuro went back to the letter that was giving him that feeling of the world tipping itself upside down.

_She was severely injured with deep cuts and wounds all over her body. It took my husband 27 hours to patch her up, after which she remained in a coma until the end of January. When she woke up, she remembered nothing and was catatonic. She still has amnesia. Her cat-like pet, Kuro, had enough gold we originally thought she was a lord's daughter, but none were missing in the region. We posted notice of her in every town we knew. Still, no one answered to say they knew of her._

_Recently we discovered that she may be from Suna. They know someone who is called or is a Sand Man. We are hoping you can confirm that you know her. Her injuries may make it hard to recognize her but Kuro is fairly unique. Their photo is attached along with Salt's hair and a blood sample. We are hoping you will know who Salt Hiiro is and maybe this Sand Man so she can be reunited him or her family. Please write us back if you have any information at all, my address is below._

_Thank you,_

_Matsuoka Jun_

Kimiko then handed him a photo that made his heart stop. That creature was the exact thing Asami had described. The cat-thing that the whispers had summoned the night Yumi had died… But the girl- her face was significantly rounder. She had one eye obviously blind. Scars patterned her face, ear, neck, arms, and hands…

"Who the hell is trying to scam my brother!" Kankuro threw the image.

It floated down landing face up. The cat-thing Asami had described identically over, and over, and over again stared at him with a killer's intent. But the girl- she held a vacant and loss look.

Kankuro stared at it. The woman's undamaged eye the same color as Yumi's had been. Her hair though well styled, the same shade-

"We quadruple analyzed the hair and blood. It's her."

"It could be a sample from somewhere. The Jieti had to have some."

"It had antibodies from our plague, and defenses against the toxins those invisible bugs used during the war."

Kankuro's snarled still not ready to believe it. This would break is brother. "They could have picked it up at the crater."

"Agreed."

"Her hair they could have found on a battlefield somewhere."

"I'm not disputing that."

"Then-" Kankuro glanced at the photo again.

_The cat-thing. There was this cat-thing._ Asami had repeated and kept repeating as if it was important.

Kankuro shook his head. This couldn't be.

"Kankuro, the samples match. We had the tech team look at the photo and it's authentic. We had Yome look at it. She says it's her, or at least that good eye is hers. Either this is a really good con or it's actually her, Kankuro."

Kankuro's hand rubbed at his face. Then he ruffled his own hood. "We can't tell the Kazekage until we know which way it is."

Kimiko studied the Anti-terrorist leader, "That is why I am passing this on to you, not him. From our stance, it's her. But maybe if you follow the address you can find out that it's not. I honestly don't know how she would survive, if there had been a chance that I thought she was alive, I would have taken this to the Kazekage himself. However under his order, I studied that crater and the amount of blood there was multiple bodies worth and yet all hers..."

Kankuro studied the fallen photo. The hair, they could have grabbed. The blood, that crater had enough of it. The eye- he didn't want to think of that… But that cat-thing, Kuro… Who else but those who interviewed Asami knew of it? That meant this was either Minawa Yumi or it was someone who was responsible for that night.

"I'm going to tell the Kazekage we just got a tip in that I need to check out. Tell no one else about this."

"Yes, of course." Kimiko watched as Kankuro picked up the photo, flipping it over to the address on the back. Then with a tap to her door frame, he let himself out, carrying a new weight on his shoulders.

She measured how he responded carefully. The Anti-terrorist leader had seen something more than an injured, fatter, Yumi in that photo. She had noticed the change in him the moment he saw the photo - but it hadn't been the supposed Yumi. If Kimiko had to guess, it was the cat-thing, Kuro… But she didn't know why.

Did Yumi once mention that same creature before? Or was it something he knew from a terrorist network?

* * *

Hiiro's hand cupped Kuro's tiny body, giving him a place to lay. He was the size of a grasshopper all because of her. Sorrow and emptiness molded her into the hammock. It made her unable to get up.

For two days, she hadn't left her cabin except to drink a little, and use the bathroom. She ate a roll too, only because the deckhand harassed her into biting the soft bread when he caught her venturing out one of those few times...

Like a never ending bell, emptiness rung her. Her gaze was dry of tears but lifeless as if there was no hope in sight. Kuro being further shrunk only further dimmed Hiiro's outlook and no one was uplifting it. Worse. Soon, in less than a month, this all would just repeat again.

Hiiro closed her mixed-colored eyes. Tucking her head down, she wished she had jumped over that rail. She wished she had just climbed over it and fell into the sea. But she hadn't even the vitality for that. So instead, Hiiro just wished that the world would just wipe her away. That she could just cease to be.

Shouldn't she just cease to be, anyway?

Why, after all that pain and agony was she still breathing?

Drops of salty water fell onto the old wooden boards. Hiiro, dry of tears, wiped the water away from her eyes and tucked her head even further into the ropes that held her up. The ship swung her hammock.

Time continued unmarked.

"Uh Salt?" A man outside her door spoke.

Hiiro's smoke gray eye opened to stare at the boards she knew so well.

"Keiji wanted us to tell you we'll be at port soon."

Hiiro closed her eye, the words floated in one ear and out the other.

"Um- Salt?" The man, this time, knocked a few times.

Hiiro opened that gray eye again. It stared at Kuro's tiny body, still curled perfectly in her hand. Her fingers held a veining of scars, her palm was also painted with the deep healed ridges.

"Can you hear me? We will be at port soon."

Gently Hiiro traced her thumb across Kuro's tiny body and then over onto her own scarred finger.

"Salt Hiiro?"

"Okay." It was her voice that responded dully. She didn't care. Putting her other arm over her head, she didn't care. "Wake me when we are there."

Loneliness sunk her even further into the rocking hammock. If Jun had been here, she would tell her they should have tea. The kitchen would smell of freshly made cookies, that even in her emptiness she couldn't ignore.

_Ginger._ Hiiro remembered that smell.

_[Her hands rubbed across his skin, the scent lingering in the air. This was a rare moment, and she was determined to make the most of it- especially for him...]_

_Raspberry._ Hiiro curled, refusing to join the living.

_[Her small fingers, hands, arms, and even her face were stained red from the berries she had picked. Humming along, Yumi filled one basket after another- excited to share them with Kawa who would be home soon.]_

Jun always made new cookies. That she needed help dying cloth or sewing or with the garden. She would talk, filling the empty space that drowning her so.

But Jun wasn't here. Nothing was. She was nothing…

"PORT!" The ship swung harder than normal.

A single hard pound sounded on her door. "Hiiro, we need you out here with your bag. We'll be disembarking soon." Keiji stood on the other side; his voice loud and clear.

"Okay." Hiiro spoke, still not yet moving.

"Good." And then his steps retreated. "Damn women and their time of the months."

Time of the month, both of Hiiro's eyes landed on Kuro. Was that what this was and if it was normal why didn't Jun say anything? It didn't feel normal…

Slowly she unpeeled herself from her hammock. Rope in-printed patterns ran up and down her entire side, arm, and leg. With a slow exhale, she put weight on her feet. It hurt to stand. Gently, she placed Kuro back on the hammock. At least one of them could be happy.

Hobbling over to the closet, she opened the small door. Her clothing that she had hung up, as Jun would want, swung with the waves. Her eyes scanned the clothing, feeling uninspired.

Gray? She thought; her finger touched the cloth. No, she thought and pulled it off it's hook. As Jun taught her, she folded it and placed it in the suitcase.

"Blue?" Hiiro glanced to Kuro who could care less. With an exhale, she folded those ones up too. Teals and blues made her feel better, but not today.

Yellow? "Already wore that." She also packed those.

"Need to get going, probably." Quickly she shoved items into the suitcase, as she came to them. Remembering to fold all carefully and lay them down gently.

And then she touched one that paused her. Pale green.

She wrapped the skirt about herself, tucking it nicely to her waist. The skirt hugged her hips and flared over her thighs. The long length fell all the way down to her ankles, covering every inch of her legs. Then she slipped on the soft leather boots.

A black light weight, long sleeve shirt drew her next. She placed that over head, and picked out a matching hooded shawl and scarf. As if Jun would see, she brushed out her hair carefully before she popped her hood up and tucked the scarf to her nose.

Clumsy, Hiiro finished packing her clothing.

"Kuro?" At her call, he jumped onto her shoulder.

With a bit of a struggle, she untied her hammock and placed that in the chest too. Finally done, her eyes go to the eye patch that sat by the door. The black plain item swayed at her as if to remind her that it was needed. Without it, everyone would look at her as they had in that town- terrified.

Softly she covered her gray eye, blocking half of her vision. Turning, Hiiro tripped on her own chest, not seeing it. With a frown, she pulled it up. Heavily, she dragged it to the door.

"I'll take that for you." A deckhand picked it up the moment she cracked the cabin door. "Come this way."

He quickly bounded out onto deck, chucking her chest to another with ease. Hiiro walked more and more slowly, a nervousness and uncertainty turning within her. Houses, shops, buildings, land, and docks filled her sights. Seagulls and people filled the air with noise.

"Hm" Keiji grinned as he walked confidently across the deck. "You look good as always, Hiiro. Shall we?"

He placed his arm out. Hesitantly, Hiiro took it.

His white teeth sparkled like his gaze. "Welcome to port, this place is where magic happens. A lot of trade, a lot of travelers" His arm swept out across the scene before them. With long proud strides, he lead her down a wooden ramp. The dock creaked with the water beneath it, sounding hollow under their footsteps. Then the swaying stopped.

Immediately Hiiro missed the sea.

"We'll stay here for two nights, tonight and tomorrow night, and then take off that next morning. I have contacts I need to meet and must verify our next mode of transport. We are all staying at a hotel I know well. But you are responsible for your own room, remember?"

Stupidly Hiiro nodded. Jun had explained how hotel rooms worked and even made her practice it with her and her sons.

"This town's safe, as long as you stay out of the southwest side, okay? So you can shop, see the sights, eat. Or maybe just stay in the hotel, get some chocolates, take a bath, have tea-" Keiji fluttered his hand in the air as his list went on and on.

Wheels creaked behind them and Keiji's voice continued but Hiiro's vacant gaze wandered. It was overwhelming and yet painfully familiar. Everything here was new and yet it was no different than before. Nothing looked familiar, nothing was familiar.

Hiiro saw people's eyes pause when they saw her. Hopefully they admired Jun's clothing. As covered as she was, they shouldn't be able to feel her scars, but to her, it was like they knew. Hiiro's gaze dropped to the cobblestone street.

"Do you want something to eat? Or still too early from, uh, seasick?"

Hiiro slowly looked up at a shop, and then a restaurant. The heavy doors and noticeable bells taunted her. Her heart picked up its pace at the bells that would ring the moment she touched those door handles. Her chest tightened. They would know she didn't understand, couldn't remember. They would know that she was out of place, that she didn't below. They would ask, and she wouldn't be able to answer.

Or worse, maybe they'd figure out that the full moon hated her. That she was cursed, a criminal that had committed a heinous unmentionable sin that even she couldn't remember…

"N-n-o," Hiiro's voice broke, her single unpatched eye flew to the ground afraid. "No. I am- I am okay. W-we are going to the hotel?"

"Here now." Keiji stopped them in front of a beautiful hotel with windows overlooking the sea. The colors and symmetry of the front entrance made it feel too good for someone like her to enter…

Instead of going in, he turned his head to address men that Hiiro didn't even realize were behind them. They had been pulling carts of their things, including her bag "Make sure you put those boxes into their secure basement and guard them."

Keiji dropped her arm stepping forward to the crates, trunks, and bags. Quickly his eyes assessed before he grabbed her bag. Walking back, he handed it to her. "And this is yours." He smiled. "Need anything else from your trunks and packs?"

Hiiro shook her head no. In that brief time, she had completely forgotten about the bag. She hadn't even realized they were hauling all that stuff. She glanced across the men who did all the work. "Thank you."

One of them smiled back. "Sure thing miss."

"Come, let's go in." Keiji returned to her arm, escorting her through the doors.

Nervousness whipped through Hiiro's stomach. Alarms and notices rung out, everyone would know she shouldn't be here. That she didn't know what she was doing.

But no one reacted. Only the man at the desk looked their way longer than a moment. "Greetings, we currently do not have any vacancies."

"This is under Matsuchi Trade."

"One moment sir." His manicured fingers flipped through files and papers. "Ah yes, we have four standing rooms. How many of those will you need this time?"

"Three for me and one for my companion."

"That will be 195."

Keiji tilted his head to the side as Hiiro's hand moved across her bag. Jun had presorted her money incase anyone thieved one bag or another. She also made sure to tell her to never count large amounts in front of anyone. So Hiiro just opened the pocket that held two-hundred.

"200" She stated.

"Here's your 5 back." He gave her change and then a key. Room is down the hall on the left.

"Does it face the ocean or town?" She summoned the courage to ask.

"Town."

Dumbly Hiiro nodded. She had hoped for the ocean, but didn't dare to say more.

"Allow me to escort you to your room?" Again Keiji continued his gentlemanly act. Again Hiiro nodded.

Alone. Hiiro shut her door.

She exhaled. Keiji had told her to explore as she wished, as long as she did not go to the south-west side. But Hiiro wasn't too sure on exploring the town. Instead she wished the ocean was visible from the window instead of more building that meant nothing to her.

"What do you think, Kuro?" Hiiro felt hopeless as she looked about the room with nothing good in it.

"It's not an ocean view, and it's a bed." She pressed her hip against the queen sized bed, it did not swing. Worry creased itself into her brows, she couldn't sleep on something like that.

Kuro chirped, reminding her how small he was now.

Emptiness filled her so full she felt numb. Jun would have liked the room. Hiiro could recognize that much, but she wasn't sure she could like it. It felt suffocating.

Hiiro frowned, longing for the sound of the waves again. "Would you be okay with walking the beach with me?"

There was a sea shore here so there had to be a beach, right?

This time Kuro clicked and his tail gently tapped her cheek.

"Alright." Leaving her bags unpacked, Hiiro started to exit- More clicks sounded.

Kuro jumped off her shoulder, dropping Hiiro's stomach. What if he didn't want to go to the shore?

Hiiro felt immediate struggle. She wanted to go to the water- to hear their waves against the shore line, but not without Kuro. But she didn't want to be here with a bed that didn't move, a room that reminded her she was no one and nothing, and no Jun, nor was it Suna with the Sand Man to help her.

Kuro jumped on her trunk and picked up the keys with his tail. Turning he leapt down and scrambled across the floor in his tiny form coming back to her, where he belonged

"Oh." The stress within her immediately relieved as Kuro returned to her shoulder.

He dropped her keys into her hand. Her glove hand ran over its surface, feeling it. Did she have a home?

Teal, her teal painted fingernails hanging the dyed cloth jumped into her mind. Her teal nails digging in the earth, and then chipped teal as her fingers drew while she sat empty in the sand. _[His teal eyes bore into her.]_

_["You... are important to me, a part of my village"]_

"Good job Kuro." She gripped the keys before slipping them into her skirt pocket. "Maybe we-we can find another place that, uh, paints nails- you think?"

Hiiro left her room, slinking along the wall on the side she wore her eye patch. Carefully she kept herself small so not to bother anyone else with her size as they walked by. Keeping her head down and her hood as well as her scarf up, she took solace that no one could see her face. They wouldn't ask questions she couldn't answer, if they didn't see it.

Making it out the door, she walked across the street so again she could follow the buildings such that her eye patch was on the walled side. People and businesses lined the streets. An array of colors, conversations, and goods shuffled together.

"Is Suna like this?" Shrinking herself, her eye jumped down. In her peripheral she still watched the village life.

"Will it feel better?" _Will I remember anything?_

Immediately the cricket sized Kuro puffed up.

"It won't?" Hiiro felt her heart plummet.

Kuro unpuffed and dropped his head. Sadly he chirped, shook his head and then nodded happily before a series of clicks as if he was speaking.

_[Kurokawa drew himself up taller, his size shadowing the little girl who looked up at him wondering why she couldn't eat more. With a whole body shake, he exasperatedly roared out a sigh. "Fine you can eat- eat us out of house and home. I don't care. Eat some poisonous berries too while you are at it, or rocks."_

_"That's what Jieti do, right!?"_

_"NO" Kurokawa boomed- couldn't the kid understand sarcasm yet? "Let's make eggs, you like eggs. I'll get you eggs."_

_"I fry them."_

_"It's too hot for you."_

_"But I don't like them black- I can do it. I can. I can. It will be good, Kawa. 'Romise."_

_"It's PROMISE!"]_

For some reason, Hiiro felt that she could tell Kuro was telling her about Suna. Or she hoped that was the case. "It will be good, right?"

Kuro nodded, before looking away and laying down. He hated the idea he had to rely on a soon-to-be-dead, that-particular-hated-soon-to-be-dead, to help his Not-death. But someone needed to find the Oni.

Hiiro slowly walked on. Her feet felt strained as she hadn't walked more than a few feet since the start of the trip. Everynow and again, she stopped to rotate her feet and stretch out her arches. Some of the cloth booths would attract her attention with their colors. Then there were jewelry booths and spice stands.

Jun would like here.

Strangely, Hiiro also found her eye catching on the weaponry and fighting clothing booths too.

"A lot of people must be interested in those things- ah!" Hiiro tried to tuck herself into a corner as a large cart appeared in front of her. "S-s-s-or-ry."

"Good day!" A male voice sounded.

Hiiro stared at the ground with her hands tucked together as the massive man pulled the creaking cart. Her heart beat pounded in her head. What if he now asked her something? What if she wasn't supposed to have been here, in his way? What he could tell she wasn't supposed to be here? What if he wanted something? Asked her something?

Jun wasn't here to speak. Without Jun, how was she supposed to know what to do, who he was, how she was supposed to be?

The tail end of the cart passed. Hiiro watched it leave from her peripheral vision. She waited for it to reverse. She watched for the man to suddenly run back and need to talk to her. She stood still waiting for that horrific moment, but it didn't come. The cart and man just continued on- he continued to greet people as he came to them.

Assuming it safe, Hiiro slid out of the corner and quickened her step. Wandering, she found herself lost- slowly following the scent of the salty water.

"It has to be this way, right?" The buildings that had been bright and open turned darker. Boards covered some of the windows. People, like her, were covered but they did not wear the same bright and clean clothing. Her skirt dusted the broken path.

"There." Hiiro informed Kuro seeing a small patch of sand between buildings. Following the path, she ducked through the tight alley. The smell of rot burned her nose, but the ocean motivated her to continue on.

Walking past a broken fence, her boots finally touched the sand. Trash scattered it drawing a frown to her face. A large wooden trash can sat tilted next to a section of fence boards that just laid in a line. Hiiro stared at it.

With a swallow of uncertainty, she turned back to the sea. It's waves rolled into the sand creating a sound that was like breath to her. The smell, minus the trash, was what made her name. Hiiro inhaled through the scarf slowly-

Everything was going to be okay.

Emptiness met that thought with its own vast expanse.

Slowly Hiiro trudge forward, her feet dragging in the sand. Kuro clicked, but she ignored it.

She stopped right at the very edge of the wave and ungracefully plopped down. It didn't bother her that the sand was cold. The waves reflected the sky as they rolled in and recessed out. The wind didn't smell as sweet here, trash lingering in the background. The sound wasn't as crisp with the port village behind her. But still-

Hiiro breathed, feeling just a little bit better about this journey.

In Suna- everything would be better. Hiiro just sat. The emptiness, uncertainty, and anxiety within her didn't wane but they too were almost hypnotized by the ocean waves. Here, it didn't matter that she knew nothing, felt like nothing, could do nothing.

Here, she just breathed with the ocean. In and out- as that never-ending longing within her flexed. The sun slowly set, drawing a fearful breath from Hiiro. She knew today was not the full moon- for several more weeks she'd be safe. But still- the memory was there.

With a waning moon rising, Hiiro slowly put down her hood. Her styled short hair bounced free. Carefully she fixed the stray strands before pulling down her scarf. She slipped her gloves into her pockets and gently brushed her own now bare cheek. The ridges of the scars on her hand and face met. They long had stopped hurting, all long healed. With Jun's lotions they were smoothing but, like her, they still existed.

"What type of water does Suna have? A sea like this or ocean front like before?" Kuro's head cocked to the side but stayed quiet-ten he jerked his head right.

A group of voices disrupted the evening, loud and rowdy. Slurred words and ramblings soon overtook the ocean's strum.

"Oye-hey! There be a girlie here!" A drunken baritone caused Hiiro's back to stiffen.

"A prettily dressed one." A woman replied with a cruel inflection. "A hooker maybe?Your type Jenri."

"Naw," A tenor spoke as Hiiro felt their stares intensify. "I'mmmm more into whores. Less cost."

Kuro puffed as Hiiro just sat there frozen.

"Oy-Girlie!" Boots shuffled to her, but Hiiro didn't turn.

Her blank mind stalled. Locked on the ocean, she did nothing, unsure what she should do.

"Giiirrrrrllllliiiiiieeeeeee." He sing-songed as he walked to the front of her.

Hiiro's heart tightened. He was going to see her face and yet she did nothing but look directly up at him.

"Oh, ye are- ugly." Surprise widened his eyes. "Were ye beat or in an attack?"

The man that Hiiro didn't want near crouched down to her level. Her heart stayed stopped, her breath just held.

"Ye know there's guys that like this sort of thin', or don't care." His gaze intensified as if he was trying to decide if he was one of those.

Kuro clicked angrily.

"Oh?" The man suddenly noticed the small cricket like creature.

"How cute! Was it this thing that did ye face or one like 'em?" The man's hand reached across the space between them.

Hiiro had no voice, no response, no movement.

His hand came to her shoulder, his finger out towards Kuro.

Kuro's bladed tail launched down down, piercing all the way through the man's finger and nail.

"AHHH!" He flinched back while Kuro leapt forward- through his eye.

"What the!" The others charged forward, the woman screamed as blood suddenly spewed out from that man's face. Hiiro stayed, still frozen as her eyes watched.

A body rammed into hers, a hand roughly hauled her up. A person pressed against her back as their arm with something metal came around front. Pain, reminding her of the moon, slammed into her chest. Her hand went up to feel something cylinder and hard. Another hand was on the strange handle. Suddenly her head felt light and her stomach felt wet. Pain throbbed as a single line through her chest. Her lung weased in agony, liquid painfully halting her breath. Coughing she tasted iron blood.

Kuro transformed. He killed the first man quickly. The second's head sailed off with a single strike. A third, Hiiro didn't even know was there also died.

"M-m-monster!" The woman, who had stabbed her, stuttered, releasing her hold on the blade.

Instinctually, Hiiro pulled on the handle in her chest. A few hard tugs and immediately she felt life drain from her. Blood, like her flashes of trauma, poured out of her.

Kuro, with his four arms, looked at her strangely with hope. As if this was something he wanted.

Everything felt cold-

And then right. For an instant, a perfect moment, everything felt good, and normal, and right, and whole, and secure, and not-empty.

And then it was gone.

The pain was gone. The cold was gone. Emptiness and brokeness met her as she slowly stood back up. Her hand brushed where the blade had been, blood no longer poured. The wound had sealed.

Unsure to what had just occurred Hiiro looked to Kuro who just stared back.

And then he smiled.

_Good_. A single thought that wasn't her, rang in her head. _Very good._

_I wait for you. Me. Until you cross, the Sand Man will help you, as his debt to me._

Wait- Hiiro blinked, her mind starting to turn. "Wait where for me?"

_Not death_ He smiled, one of his arms picking up the corpse before throwing it hard. It rocketed into the fleeing woman, cracking her skull with a sickening sound.

Hiiro remained focused on Kuro, her heart unable to accept what she knew was about to come true.

"You-" She paused afraid. "You-" She didn't dare speak it out loud but, "you are-" Hiiro felt like she couldn't breathe, "leaving?"

I_ will stop the Oni, for you. I will allow them to remember, for you. Didn't make the soon-to-be-dead dead for you-_ His entire form puffed up deadly as he thought of something he hated. His hands all wiped the air before her as if to clean the slate. _Not the others, Not that soon-to-be-dead-horrid. Just me, Apex, just me._

And then he vanished.

Before her eyes, the only one who knew her- ceased to exist.

"Kuro?" Hiiro knew, but still said his name.

Every time he transformed, he had shrunk. "K-kuro?"

Everything he did, he killed. He did nothing but kill- birds, pets, people. "Kuro!"

Hiiro walked forward and then around. Unhurt she moved easily. The emptiness within her strained. The anxiety that had previously calmed sprung itself back to life. The sense of drowning overwhelmed her.

"KURO!" Tears spilled down her face. She hadn't died, but he-

He left her. He left her. He had died because of her. If… if he hadn't transformed. If… if she had been better. If… if she had only thought, or known, or done something.

With blurry vision, Hiiro gazed out to the sea. It's ebb and flow called her name.

Kuro said he was waiting- so couldn't she just join him now?

* * *

Number 39, picking up the now-deads watched his Not Death call the name she had given him. Pride filled him with her every call. He was her everything, as it should be. She was his apex, the one who could rise above all. Now he was above that human side, that despicable soon-to-be-dead-who-dared-to-challenge-him, and all the others she constantly, annoyingly liked.

But suddenly his Not-Death was walking towards the water.

Number 39 rose to his full height. Was the oni drawing her in again?

Hope surged through him as she walked into the ocean. She was coming to him. He felt joy. She wanted him. He felt pride. She walking into the ocean, wasn't going to make him wait this time!

Except. Number 39 suddenly panicked. Except, the Oni was after his Not-death. In her current state, she couldn't go to the next plane yet- it would finish its hunt of her!

Horrified at the thought of the Oni getting to his not death again, Number 39 flew in front of her. But she, waist high in water, saw nothing. He roared. But she, not in his plane, heard nothing. He flayed but again nothing.

And then he remembered those despicable spirits- the ones who dared to attach part of them to her.

Them! He'd make them stop her and get her to that terrible sandman. And then, once he took care of the Oni or get it back to its locked level, then she could cross planes.

Despicable, disgusting spirits

Cheating, terrifying Oni

Horrible, soon-to-be-dead, Sand Man

Number 39 cursed them all.

* * *

**Dun Dun Dunnnnnn!**

**Will Kankuro run into Hiiro? Or will he meet with the ****Matsuokas and accuse them of daring to trick the Kazekage!****?**

**Will Number 39 get help for Yumi before she drowns herself in the sea? **

**And how did Hiiro survive being stabbed!? Did any of you see that coming?**

**How will she make it without Kuro or will she succeed in her current plan and end up on the other side?**

**As normal - Thank you all for reading!  
Sorry again for the slow updates, but I hope you still review. I do enjoy seeing that someone likes this story and what your thoughts are on it!**


	9. Chapter 9: Drown in Sorrow or Debt?

**Mika -** So you think Salt lives!? We shall see! And I agree Hiiro has a negative amount of luck it seems. Maybe surviving has used all that up for her? But I love your comment of "hopefully Gaara will call her beautiful!" - gave me some ideas ^_^

**Ash -** I hope you are still out there. If you haven't gotten back to this story yet, well then you'll find two chapters for when you return.

**Rest of my readers-** Thank you for reading. I do hope you drop me a line or even just a few words. Something as simple as "next please" is appreciated. I have some great ideas for a couple chapters out, when Hiiro finally gets to Suna, but really feel down at times over this story too. Hiiro's mood must be affecting me lol. Anyway, I am glad you are reading and I hope you find my story interesting.

**Thank you all!**

**Also remember - if you are ever feeling like you should not exist. Do not follow through with it - you should. You are important, but it can sometimes hard to see that. It can be hard or impossible to know the affects we've had on others. Please do not end your life early. This story would be different if our heroine had, and the same is true for you. When you leave this world, it's sad.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry it's all be down lately but I think that might start changing. Sometimes a little hope goes a long way.**

**...**

* * *

_Drowning was a horrible way to die. _Hiiro shivered.

She lumbered slowly under the lightening night sky. Three times she had drowned; the first on purpose, the second with some strange hope that maybe the waves would actually accept her, and then the third time accidentally and horrifically while failing to make it back to shore.

Her pale green skirt was now a light faded red, not only from that woman, but also herself. Once she finally made it back to the sandy ground, Hiiro had wondered if that woman had done it wrong… She had felt, still felt, it would be better if she just died. And so after a lot of searching and belittling herself, she found part of a broken spear to ram into her own neck.

_Dumb_, Hiiro scolded herself at the memory of her own failure and the pain she had caused. Of course someone who actually knew how to hold a weapon and carried one wasn't inept in using it! She had been stupid to think otherwise, to believe that it was the woman's mistake that she hadn't died.

The spear had torn open her neck. It hurt, drawing lights across her vision as she choked and coughed. Like drowning, it wasn't quick. Her breath gurgled, her mind wishing she hadn't done that while it also hoped that she would just stop fighting the feeling of death. And then, like before, she, for a minuscule of a second, felt whole.

For the briefest of brief nanosecond moments, Salt Hiiro felt like a really full normal person. And then all of that vanished and reality returned. Her wound yet again closed with her own blood being the only sign anything had even happened. The broken and emptiness within her echoed loudly as they reclaimed their existence...

Hiiro watched the dark cobble stone paths she tottered on. Technically she was lost, but more so she was mentally lost.

_What will I do? What can I?_ An overpowering weight pressed down upon her frame, shrinking her even further down. Who was she to anyone? Nothing, her entire soul seemed to respond. She was nothing, and now even less.

A beautiful dawn slowly painted itself over the eastern buildings, reaching out to the roofs and walls with its light. Exhausted Hiiro trudged onward. Turning mindlessly left and right - she made no sense of her own steps or where she was or had been. Without a word, her voice felt sewn shut. Every now and again she glanced up, just enough to see.

The hotel finally made itself known. It's elegant architecture stood proudly, driving Hiiro's gaze even lower. Muted and cold, she entered it's door. Her boots squished as her wet steps marred it's perfect halls. The room door was as she had first seen it- shut, unwelcoming, unwanting.

Hiiro stared at it, her mind not connecting to the task at hand. Slowly her single unpatched eye wavered downward to the lock. What if the key had fallen into the sea with her pathetic attempts?

Sorrowfully, Hiiro dug into her pocket. The small, hard metal object was still there, cold as she was. With shaking hands, she pulled it out, dropping it almost immediately onto the ground. Awkwardly she crouched feeling her wet clothing pull and tighten about her like a sausage casing.

Kuro would have gotten it for her. Without a moment's hesitation he would have leapt down, picked it up, and dropped it back into her hand with a few annoyed clicks…

And at that thought, Hiiro's vision blurred again. Her throat tightened even more. Lip trembling, she slowly stood. Kuro wasn't here. Hands still shaking she unlocked the door. She was going to have to live without him. With a heavy push, she opened it. Even though she didn't want to, she didn't have a choice - she was going to have to live.

Slowly, like walking into a prison sentence, Hiiro limped inside.

Darkness met her. A flick of the switch and her unpack bags further down-casted her mood. Jun would have wanted her to unpack those… Desensitized, Hiiro pulled off her eye patch and hung it on the door. Kuro was not here. He didn't click on her shoulder. He didn't scramble over to set up her hammock. He did not puff his spikes out nor swing his bladed tail. She was alone.

Her wet skirt dripped as she just stood there. With the slowest exhale, Hiiro walked towards the bathroom. Her vision blurred again as she entered the small tiled room. Pulling the black wet shirt off with the shawl and scarf following it, cold formed bumps across her skin. She dropped the cloth mass to the floor. Her skirt and boots were next. Then her underwear and gloves. Shivering, she glanced towards the mirror. Her mismatch eyes ghosted her own body.

_Ugly_.

There was no mark where she had pressed that spear blade through, no scar where that pain had stabbed into her chest from the woman. Hiiro stared, looking for the faintest of sign to what had happened, but there was none. Then she looked down and traced the scar on her forearm with her fingers. Just how horrific had the moon's attack been? It had nearly killed her and left marks... but being stabbed and the spear had not?

Did _it_ want her skin? Hiiro looked up to the mirror startled at the thought. Her mismatched eyes stared back. Did _it _want her eyes?

What if _it_ came for her **again**?

A sudden horror latched itself to her. Her stomach flopped at the thought of being skinned alive. It twisted at the image of her eyes being plucked out of their sockets. Would she just survive that too?

_Kuro_. Immediately Hiiro's brain begged for him. Her vision blurred as her chest tightened. Squeezing her eyes shut tears fell down her cheeks. A sob held itself tightly within her as she inhaled sharply. _Kuro_

She beguilingly found her way to the floor. Curling, her head found her hands. Sobs wracked her body, jiggling her arms, thighs, chest and stomach.

If she had tried to run away from those people, even though she couldn't really run, would he have not faded away? If she had been stronger under the full moon's torture, would he have never shrunk? If she had somehow gotten free from that man's grasp in that alley, would none of this never happened?

It was her fault! It was all her fault that he was no longer here! Her ineptness had caused this!

"I'm sorry." Hiiro muttered in her tears.

Grief racked her body as her fingers went up into her bangs, pulling them hard backwards, wishing she could just undo it all, somehow. If she could have just never woken up, then he would still be. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Kuro, I'm sorry."

She gently rocked herself taking solace in the motion. The ocean hadn't worked. The spear hadn't worked. And now she was alone.

Crying, she grieved. Time ticked on as sorrow wafted through in waves.

Hiiro laid on the bathroom floor, exhausted and yet still able to cry. One of the few memories she had floated to the forefront of her mind- _Jun had walked into her room, pulling on her covers. The woman hauled her unwilling body up. "Come, you'll feel better after a shower"_

Slowly Hiiro rolled over. The back of her hand rubbed the water from her eyes. Her heart hurt so much. "_Here" Jun spoke again not giving her a chance to slip away into the emptiness that she was. "These smell nice don't they?" A plethora of soap and shampoos were bundled in the woman's arms like a bouquet of flowers. "Just try them, okay?"_

"_Did you turn the temperature up? No? Here try this - put it in the shower with you, turn it warmer, and it will make it smell so good. It will be almost like your own little spa. It will make you feel alive, like life is worth living." Jun smiled with the little puck like thing in hand. _

Hiiro breathed heavily as she woodenly used the bathroom sink for support to haul herself up off the floor

She had no choice. Barefoot and naked she walked into the shower. She had _no_ choice. Slowly she turned the dial towards warm, wishing she could just feel naught at all. Pins and needles pressed into her skin as the cold began to vacate her body, but not her soul. Kuro wasn't here. He wasn't clicking outside her room or laying bored on her hammock. She was utterly _alone_.

Crying, the shower water somewhat comforted her. Sobbing, the sides of her fists went against the wall and immediately pain met her. It should have been her! It should have been her, not Kuro, who had vanished!

It should have been her who died. With all she was and wasn't, Hiiro truly knew she should have died. Just last night alone, she should have died five times over. But she hadn't. And instead, he was gone.

Why…

Why was it like this?

What great sin had she done to deserve this?

Her tears slowed as quickly as they came on. Some part of her knew, from the moment Kuro had first shrunk, that his time was dwindling. But it was because of her that it had been cut short. Hiiro didn't dare forgive herself. She felt that pain and grasped tightly onto it. Pain was better than the nothing that she had.

And again, as if all the other times hadn't been enough... She cried. The shower water wiped away her tears as quickly as they formed.

Sorrow saturated everything.

* * *

"Hiiro?" Keiji's voice crossed through the closed door. Hiiro turned over on the bed for a thousand's time. Without Kuro, she hadn't even bothered to setup the hammock, she knew she couldn't sleep regardless.

"Do you want to join us for supper?"

The whole day had passed and Hiiro hadn't entered outside the room since she came back. She showered, cried, showered, cried, and then just rolled over and over in bed with a few more showers and tears in there. Jun would have claimed she was trying to become a prune. Time had passed by grudgingly with each moment slower than the last.

"I need a beautiful woman like you to make me look good." His smile could be heard as he knocked again. "Hiiro?"

"I-"

Hiiro remembered last night- _The massive man walked in front of where she sat. Without her scarf and hood, he was going to see her face. Her chest tightened at such a thought and yet she found herself looking straight up at him- frozen. His eyes widened in surprise, "oh, ye are- ugly."_

"I am-" She felt only grief- and yet another memory passed through. _Hiiro's eyes flashed up to Kuro several times while she continued to prepare the soil for planting. Finally she asked what she wanted, dared, needed, to know, "were we alone before?"_

_Kuro snorted dismissively._

_"No one is probably waiting for me either," Her eyes went to the inside of her arm where that long scar was. She knew what her face looked like, her neck, her stomach, chest, legs, and even feet. Maybe no one liked her because she looked like this. Maybe before Jun she hadn't known how to dress like she was learning now…_

_Kuro's eyes narrowed, he snorted once, then twice, then three times. Huffing he puffed his spikes out in all directions. As if anger rolled through him, he steamed as heat rose out of him. Finally his tail came down onto the soil._

_Surprised that he was actually going to help her, Hiiro watched in awe. But the blade at the tip of his tail didn't scope up soil for planting, it scratched lines downwards. Annoyed, two words formed - Sand Man._

"I am not-" Hiiro hesitated, _Jun smiled as she held a gown in her arms, "This will look beautiful on you. Come, try it on."_

"I… I am not ready." Not wanting to move, Hiiro still, painstakingly, rolled herself off the bed and onto the floor. She had no choice...

"We'll wait in the lobby then. Try not to take an hour though, I know how you women can be." His words were met with multiple male laughs on the other side of the door.

Slowly Hiro rose. Tears yet again threatened to spill. Blinking she let them fall.

She staggered to her trunk. This time she picked out the brightest and best pieces she had. Jun had once said _fake it until you make it_, so Hiiro was going to try. If she had to live, if she truly had no choice, and if she could do nothing else, then she'd at least somehow make Kuro proud. Maybe Kuro was watching from wherever he was. If so, then she'd at least try to not be the cause of his cursing too much.

Purposefully Hiiro brushed out her hair and placed on the floral scented lotion Jun had gifted her. Smelling her own scent, she centered herself. With her eye patch, her scarf, shawl hood, gloves, blouse, and long skirt- she really didn't look any different than anyone else. All Jun's pieces were wonderfully done.

The comforting cat-like weight of Kuro that normally rode on her shoulder was noticeably absent. Again, Hiiro bowed her head as tears dripped down. Her chest and throat tightened as grief continued to wash through her.

"_Don't cry! What are you doing! Don't cry!" _ A rough demanding voice jerked Hiiro's head up, stopping her heart as shock stopped her tears. She couldn't see the man's face. She didn't know when or where she had heard that, but-

But-

She had remembered it. A man with a loud and booming voice, had told her that once and at that time, for some reason, it had filled her with love. She remembered him impossibly tall, his shadowy figure waving his hands shouting in a loud and commanding voice. "_Don't cry! What are you doing! Don't cry!" _

Hiiro stood frozen at the mirror.

She had remembered something!

The smallest smile crept on her face as light dared to spark in her previously dead gaze. Kuro had said it would be good, and maybe it would…

Tears blurred her vision immediately. Despite the memory she cried for Kuro wasn't here to hear her tell him of the memory. He wasn't here for her to ask him questions on who or what she remembered.

Despite what that voice said- all she truly wanted to do was cry.

* * *

"You-" Keiji stood giving her an odd look. "-look good."

Numb, Hiiro nodded.

"Oh watch out." She bumped into the small table with her shin as he spoke too late. Keiji rose elegantly and placed his hand on the side her eye patch was on.

"Here let's go together." Keiji gracefully turned her so that he was on the side she couldn't see. As if he understood, he allowed her to slink along the wall.

With strong steps he led them out of the hotel. Hiiro felt it impossible to breathe as she walked down the same village path that she had walked yesterday while Kuro still lived and last right after he had passed. Yet again, as if she was broken- because she was broken, tears welled up in her eyes.

"The best restaurant you have ever entered is just right down here." Keiji smiled, ignorant of her grief. "They have all sorts of dishes from all sorts of places."

Hiiro stayed silent as Keiji talked on. She felt mute, that if she opened her mouth only tears would pour out.

_Don't cry_\- She had remembered something. She had cried before. Had someone else died and that was why? Was she crying for the person that spoke to her, but the deep deadly tone she remembered made that seem unlikely…

With hope of that memory, her mouth moved without thought "Have you cried before?"

"The restaurant- what?" Keiji stopped mid explanation.

She had said a dumb question. Her unpatched eye dropped to the uneven cobblestone path.

Keiji studied the young woman with a strange fashion sense. The glimpse he had gotten of her scars, he understood her desire to cover herself while still looking beautiful. Her limp swayed her skirts. Her eye patch was always either exquisitely embroidered or covered by her brightly colored hood. The haunting green eye she did show held a vast expanse that could drown a man.

"I-" He paused, something told him not to say no. "I have…"

Her head only slightly tilted his way, her gaze still down. Kieji studied her carefully. Years of traveling and trading had taught him to read people well and trust his instincts. His instinct told him that she truly could not remember and that was what made her interesting. She was a blank but yet very tattered book.

"I have cried." Keiji repeated. "Many times actually. The last time I really cried was a few years ago when a good friend passed far too early leaving behind his widow and children."

She nodded, her movements slow and numb. Keiji counted in his head waiting for her to speak. To give her the chance to say something - that maybe she remembered something, was missing the Tea Country, or that not having any memories made her only able to wallow in sorrow. The more he stared, the more he noticed that despite her bright and brilliant gown, her every feature held sadness.

At the count of forty-five, Keiji gave her a soft smile. "Come, they say food can heal the soul."

That rose Hiiro's head from the ground, "Really?"

"Yes. Well, maybe it's warm the soul and heal the body, but it will be all the same and this place has food that heals and soothes. Trust me."

Slowly Hiiro nodded, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill yet again.

"We can even probably bring some back for that thing of yours." His uplifting tone completely shattered Hiiro's attempt to hold her sorrow back.

Hurriedly she brought her hand up as she gasped struck a huge breath in, tears blurring her vision, falling down her cheek and soaking her patch and scarf. Muffled sobs flowed freely through Hiiro once again.

"Oh no!" Keiji pulled his arm away immediately. "Here, Here." He wrapped the woman in a hug. "Something happened- what happened?"

Hiiro sobbed into his arms and just shook her head no. Her eye patch felt cold against her skin and her scarf disgusting, and yet she couldn't stop crying.

"Gentlemen, why don't you go in ahead of us."

Keiji just held her there and let her cry, a man she barely even knew.

Slowly Hiiro's crying slowed again. She rubbed her face with the back of her sleeve, pulling her patch up and scarf down as she did. Keiji backed up from her, one of his hands slipping into his pocket. "Here" He handed her a square cloth.

Hiiro's head bobbed in thanks as she took the small square cloth. With it she rubbed her eyes again and then blew her nose. Tears still leaking from her gaze, she fluttered her eyes up to look at him, trying to see through the water.

Kieji studied the face he never saw. Her lips were turned down in a frown. The scars on her cheek were red along with the whites of her eyes from her sorrow. The eye she always had covered was gray. It was not clouded as he normally noticed blind eyes to be, but a marbled dull gray. Both her eyes searched his.

"Kuro-" She spoke, tears welling up again, "died." And then they spilled over again.

Keiji leaned back onto his heels, his mind searching. That mouse sized cat-like creature had somehow grown smaller on the voyage across the sea... Had it been dying this whole time? Was that why she had trapped herself into her room on the ship?

"I'm sorry," Keiji studied her carefully. As if it was a trade, he took in every micro-expression he could to match his response to exactly what needed to secure a deal. "Yooouuu must be beside yourself."

Her eyes focused on him and they cleared slightly, telling him to keep speaking. "My father died when I was young. I didn't know what to do without him, how my family would survive without him. I cried all the time, which I was bullied for. I was angry. I was lost. My mother, older brother, and I had to leave the house… My dog Yoshi comforted me, by my side always. Bite one of the bullies-" He smiled and then sorrow entered his gaze. "And he too died… I cried harder over Yoshi that night than the night my dad passed… although I was probably crying over them both then…" His tone was low and quiet. "I know how you feel right now. Losing family regardless of their relation, feels impossibly hard."

Hiiro's eyes welled up and her head just bobbed up and down. Snot poured out her nose as water streamed down her face. Again she tried to clean herself up with his cloth but not no avail.

"You sure you want to eat out with us?"

Hiiro shook her head no. She didn't want to..

"Okay." Keiji locked his arm with her again, ever the gentleman. "Let me escort you back to your room. You can take a long bath and I'll bring you something good back. They have a really good devil's chocolate cake here, I'll bring you two slices. One for you and one for your Kuro's memory too."

A half sob made her trip on cobblestone but Keiji didn't let her stumble.

"Or would you prefer a different favor? Though I suspect devils chocolate would have suited him fine. The little bugger did stab me with his tail a few times." He raised and shook his hand in memory, a grin on his face.

A laugh bubbled between Hiiro's sobs. She remembered her horror and Kuro's dangerous glee.

"So the cake does sound good?" Keiji checked, unable to get a good read on the woman that barely reacted and truly couldn't recall.

_["Try it!" She exclaimed as she passed the plate with the brown cake to the teal-eyed, red hair man sitting across from her. _

_"I don't really like sweets." He set it down, his tone informing her that he wasn't going to follow her sing-songed directions._

_"I know - I asked Asami. Try it." She picked it up for him yet again, her eyes begging_

_He stared at her for a long while and then finally, reluctantly, he picked up his fork. The smallest of small bites he cut into it. As if it was terrible, he tried that tiny bite. His lips were a firm straight line of protest. _

_Suddenly, his eyes met hers. Then carefully, as if in disbelief he took a second bite. His gaze inquisitive, almost uncertain. _

_"It's not sweet..." He stated out loud._

_"It's a mix between a spice cake and devil's chocolate. I even fixed the frosting to make it less sweet." She grinned at him proudly.]_

Hiiro's head bobbed out another nod, "not… not too sweet though."

"Maybe some dark chocolate too?"

Hiiro nodded, her gaze on the ground below ignorant of the looks she was getting as he walked her back. "And tea?"

"Sure." Keiji smiled as best he could to show he was taking care of Hiiro and not the cause for her tears. A scarred and crying girl would not be good for his business. "But first, you must tell me one funny story about your pet?"

"Funny?" Her head cocked.

"Something he did that made you either horrified or nearly laugh - like stabbing me." He grinned and light faintly sparked in her features.

"He… uh…" Hiiro tried to think. "He... " She paused, her mind churning. "He turned himself blue once. Well… I did that."

"Oh?" Keiji grinned, "tell me more. I want to hear this."

"Uh-" Hiiro's mind wandered as she tried to remember and string words together at the same time as walking.

* * *

Number 39 held the pathetic spirits by their throats. His not death hadn't passed over- although she seemed to be testing herself and his uncertainty of her sanity.

"Yumi's going to be pissed at you!" The one he had been trapped in sneered, axe drawn. The spirit that constantly stayed with his host since their return half stepped back.

"Taiki, one shinigami, if we get others we can probably." The female spirit whispered to his previous host.

Number 39 growled. _You dare to have something on her, leave something of yourselves on my not-death!_

"That's a good thing right-" The preteen shook his axe at the shinigami. "They can use that to speak to their son, you had others haunt him- Now they can tell him directly. Then with that act, they will finish their crossover."

Number 39's head jerked, his eyes glowed.

His head cocked and shook as he thought. He squeezed the spirits tighter. The former Kazekage twitched along with his wife, whose spirit dimmed.

The preteen grit his teeth as his sister held her breath. Any move made against the shinigami would likely result in the other two being smited.

"Isn't it _him _you want to pay? For her?" Taiki tempted the death god again.

A scream shocked him and his sister, scrambling them both back by instinct. The former Kazekage Rasa and his wife Karura foamed, their essence spilling out of their mouths, eyes, and across their spirit forms.

Taiki's mouth ran dry, his eyes wide. He didn't even like these people, Gaara's parents, but Yumi-

_The debtor must pay his debt! He shall take care of her for as long as she remains there. He shall pay in servitude to her! _ The Shinigami threw the two spirits to the ground. He stormed over them before screaming out his angst yet again.

_You will tell her nothing. Not a word to her. But you will tell him. You will. His debt is owed, he shall pay. When she arrives, he must follow through or I will wipe all of his lineage, your lineage from all the planes. Dare? No one dares! _

Rasa shook. His entire spirit trembled. Wiping off his mouth and face, placing his form back together, he scooted carefully over to his wife who laid there petrified, most of her essence still outside of her. Gently he took her hand, smoothing some of her back together.

_YOU!_

Rasa and Taiki both snapped to attention.

_YOU will go! Not a word to her, you are not worthy! But to him, you will tell._

The former Kazekage swallowed. Just what had his son gotten involved with?

_Go_

"We-" Rasa's voice paused in terror as the Death God towered over him. He knew his sins were unforgivable. He knew his fate.

"How the fuck are they supposed to cross you blustering bully." It was the preteen who stood next to his wife protectively.

He, her husband, should be standing up like that- but he could not will it. To stand would be to cease to exist, he could feel it. His form still trembled.

The shinigami sneered. _Now you go-_ Both of his right arms swung out.

Rasa blinked. He and Karura were in a room. A scarred woman with mix matched puffy eyes blinked at them. One of her eyes was gray, as if blind, the other a forest green. Her charcoal hair had strands of white in it, a testament to age or strain. Her hand hovered over her other wrist which held a single red-sand bracelet.

"M-M-My-" She stuttered, blinking. "Y-y-you."

Rasa watched as she swallowed. Karura suddenly gasped, bringing a hand over her mouth. His wife was made of a handful of sand while he was made of gold. Her sand arm came to his gold sleeve and tugged on it. With a look of horrid realization, she tilted her head towards the gapping young woman who was holding on to her wrist where two bracelets had once been.

His eyes widened as he realized. _This_ was Yumi.

"Are-" She still couldn't speak, but her body leaned to them. "You… the, uh, sand man?" Hope shown in her gaze which watered as if she was about to cry.

His wife's face wrinkled in confusion as her head tilted. Yumi should know who they are.

"Do-" Yumi spoke again, "Do you, do you- uh… Do you kn-kn-know who I am?"

_You will tell her nothing. Not a word to her._ The shinigami's command rang through Rasa as he tried to respond.

Yumi's eyes began to water further. "Um I-" She hesitated. A single blink sent the tears down her cheeks. "I don't-" She struggled, "I don't _remember_."

Karura turned to him. Some of the grains from her arm fell lifelessly to the ground. Rasa glanced down; they didn't have much time. His gaze raised back up to hers, her eyes expressive- filled with sorrow and concern. The girl, Yumi, their son's love, couldn't remember and obviously had not come out of that fight unscathed. Though it had always been a miracle she had survived at all…

From his wife's look, he knew. From how they felt and how the grains were already falling off them- their forms were not going to last the night. So he'd follow Karura's plan. He would go to their son as fast as he could. She would stay here to try to provide some comfort to Yumi.

Hiiro watched as the two looked at each other and then without a word the man vanished in a swirl of gold. They were leaving her!

"No- No-" Hiiro stood, stumbling. The woman gracefully caught her arm. A soft and kind smile on her face. "Uh-"

The woman helped her sit back down on the bed. The woman gently touched her cheek, a sad smile on her face.

"Are-" Hiiro felt so unsure. One moment she was just sitting there numb, the next her bracelets detached themselves from her arm, and then there were two people, now one. "Are you- the sand man?"

The woman looked at her confused, before softly shaking her head no.

"Can you… talk?"

Another no.

Hiiro bit her lip. Even if the woman knew who she was, she would not be able to tell her.

"Um." Sorrow creased into her soul. The only person who knew who she was, her only companion, Kuro, had left her and now not even this new one could help!

Arms came about her, embracing her completely. It snuffed the helpless feeling out. Inhaling slowly, Hiiro let herself be held.

"Do you, uh, know me?" Hiiro spoke in the woman's arms.

The sand woman pulled away. Her kind expression held a complicated expression. Her eyes did show familiarity but also sorrow and inability. Carefully she gently nodded her head before half shrugging with a slight wave of her hand, indicating she couldn't communicate more.

"But you know me?" Hope still lit in Hiiro.

Again the woman nodded and the weight that had been barreling down upon the broken girl lifted.

"I- uh." Hiiro wasn't sure what to say, what would be good? "I woke up in Tea Country. Am I from there?"

The woman frowned.

"Um… I'm going to Suna… Kuro wrote Suna… Is- that- Um-"

Before even finishing the woman nodded her head with a joyous expression.

"I should go to Suna?"

The nodding increased.

"I'm from Suna?"

Again she nodded. And Hiiro couldn't help but smile.

"I'm from Suna." Something, Hiiro finally had something.

"Are you- um," Hiiro searched the woman's taupe features. "Am I-" Hiiro tried to see familiarity between the woman before her and herself. "I related to you?"

The woman's look fell and softly she shook her head no.

No, of course not. Hiiro's gaze lowered to the floor.

Arms came around her again. It comforted her, the sand woman's embrace. The grains of sand did not feel rough against her skin nor harsh, but like solace.

* * *

Rasa's gold flew across the sky like a meteorite. It dissipated, it's grains spread out to be undetected as it approached. Suna was as Suna always was. Every grain of this form searched the city only to find his son where he too had spent most of his time- the Kazekage's office.

Gaara's teal eyes peeled up from the files as gold suspiciously swirled in the middle of the room. He waited to see if it was friend or foe. The fluttering chakra felt oddly familiar.

"Son," Lightly the gold grains formed the outline of his father.

The current Kazekage lifted his chin, "my father is dead."

"Yes, I am. Your mother too."

With a sweep of his hand, Gaara's sand searched for any nearby. There were none.

"Parent's are supposed to believe in their children. During this last war when we were yet again brought back here, I did. We stayed back with Yumi as it wasn't just words when I told you that I was entrusting the village to you, Gaara."

Hearing Yumi's name, Gaara grit his teeth. His fingers clenched into a fist. "Who are _you_?"

"Your mother protected you growing up - I never realized it then, but I did when we fought and her sand showed itself. Can you, too, not tell this gold is mine?"

"There's more ways than just words to tell." Gaara rose, his blood heating at the thought that someone was about to use Yumi and his father to strike against him.

"Yes, but I do not have time for that." Lord Rasa looked at his youngest. "Yumi lives."

Gaara's eyes widened as his pupils shrunk. His entire soul stilled. It couldn't be- except some part of him knew.

"The Shinigami saved her. She must have had significant injuries and it seems she lost her memories… She's-" Rasa hesitated, "not the same. I'm sorry. We tried to protect her, we sent everything we had trying-" The former Kazekage lowered his head.

Some gold dust sloughed off him, falling in a pool on the floor. Before Gaara's eyes, his father shuddered. Then he slowly raised his head, his tone serious. "The Shinigami saved her. He says you owe a debt to him and will wipe out our lines in all directions if it is not paid. He wants you to take care of her for as long as she remains on this side."

"Why wouldn't she remain on _this side_?" Gaara's growled as his eyes narrowing. "If she's _alive_." He sneered, not quite ready to believe.

The death god had tried to kill him, would have killed him. But her… He was certain that man and monster loved her, if he was even capable of love… Gaara's soul grew cold- what if the death god would try to take her just to be with her on that side.

"He wouldn't-" It was his own voice that spoke hesitantly, not his father's.

Lord Rasa frowned, even more gold dust tumbling. "I don't know. But she's alive, Gaara. I know you care for her and you will feel responsible for what occurred, but you can't turn her away even if you don't believe her and you can't send her to live elsewhere even if it's best for her-"

"Why can't I? If she is alive, why wouldn't I do what's best for her?"

"The shinigami demands your debt to him to be paid to her through your _servitude_ to her, your safe keeping of her. If you do not-" Lord Rasa felt even more of his gold fall. It took too much of him to get here, time was running out. "- all of us, past, present, and future, will never reincarnate again."

Gaara's eyebrows furrowed. It did sound like something that Man or Death God would do.

"Gaara," Rasa raised his head to meet his son's gaze squarely.

"She lives and-" And then he fell, a pile of gold the only thing left of the contrived exchange.

Gaara's gaze narrowed at the unmoving dust. Yumi couldn't have survived- he had checked every inch of that crater himself. Senior medical ninja Kimiko had informed him it would have been impossible for her to survive with _that much blood loss_. No one but Asami had survived that night.

It couldn't be. And yet, his fingers itched to pull out that file.

Maybe he would review it one last time then shut it as closed for good.

Closing his eyes, Gaara felt it impossible to breathe.

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**Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! **

**\- Rain**


	10. Chapter 10: Sleep not Tread Lightly

Aye, it seems to be a crazy time in our lives right now. Hopefully everyone is safe! Gives us a bit of time to read and write, I hope? Although some how my work isn't closed - I'm working even more. Hoping what I do helps others, and trying to stay good. :) Anyway - I really hope you all are well and thank you for continuing to read and review!

**Ash** \- I am looking for new things to read and I'd be happy to read your story if you would send me the name or link! I am working quite a bit so I'd be a bit slow right now, but hopefully the world will all go to normal one day soon. Also I'm not sure Kankuro and Salt will cross paths on their Journey. But Kuro is in a better place - hopefully tracking down the Oni and not causing Taiki too much of a headache ^-^

**Yukifuru** \- Yuki, Oh my goodness, I'm so HAPPY. Well, not that you cried... but maybe a little that you were moved to cry? Yumi I think will be more careful in the future, but maybe not. :) And I am so glad you are continuing to read! I hope this book is one you like as much as the other. I am really hoping we see more of Taiki and Number 39 in this book, but sadly not to a point where that can happen much yet. We'll see. Hiiro is a bit different from Yumi (a lot harder to write too). I am really happy for your review and hopefully you smiled more than cried over book 1!

**The Unseen SunBurst** \- You have an inspiring name! Love it! I'm not a fan of amnesia plots to be honest, and yet here Salt Hiiro is. Hopefully she remembers soon. I feel like there's hints there that she could start - so I have my fingers crossed. (Some author huh? crossing my fingers on my own story lol! I swear though, the characters have a mind of their own. See Number 39.) I really am hoping Gaara and Yumi reunite soon and I'm also sad over it cause right now Hiiro isn't the Yumi Gaara knows...

**All** \- Hope you enjoy this chapter. I have a couple outlines written but really love the reviews cause they help inspire more depth into the story. Plus, let's be honest - poor Hiiro and Gaara need all the help they can get. I wonder what they are up to now and how Hiiro is doing without Kuro and how Gaara is doing with the information his father gave! :)

Also I really do not do a good job picking chapter titles... **_** Anyway, I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

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Gaara hadn't slept. He leaned against the hospital wall, holding it up. The sky lightened, forming shadows within the shadows. Dawn slowly broke. Senior Medical Ninja Fujimoto Kimiko would arrive in an hour.

He would wait for her, unable to do anything else, _focus_ on anything else.

All night he read- the files from the last war. The reports from the night Yumi died. He read through every interview. He studied her photo and the sketch of the cat-like creature Asami claimed had also been there. Over and over he read the document that quantified how much of her blood had been shed. Over and over he read the word _deceased_.

After reading through the file for the tenth time, Gaara opened up what he had from the funeral, _her funeral_.

Cards of sympathy, some of hope, most of sorrow, and a few of regret. He read through the list of attendee names, wishing one would stand out as something. He read through the packet from the Jieti society. Documents that claimed he could take possession of her earnings and favors - blood money. There were stories in there too, accounts of her past jobs. The 15 official near-death, reported-dead notifications from different jobs, including the one he had sent them when she hadn't awoken from the plague induced coma... He too had been one of the many that had traded her life for their own. Back then, he hadn't known her. Just some annoying _stranger_ that had jumped his wall, bothered him at night, gave up her health as an experiment, and then volunteered her life for others.

_Why_. After she had chosen to stay behind, why had she still been attacked? _Why had she died._

_"Yumi lives. The Shinigami saved her. She must have had significant injuries and it seems she lost her memories… She's- not the same. I'm sorry."_ The gold clone of his father continued to repeat in his mind.

He had found nothing anywhere. Not a word, not the space between the words, hinted that she had lived. He found no proof. And yet-

Gaara stood against the wall, the smell of hospital hallway further cloaked dread about his soul. She hadn't died here. She hadn't died in a place like this, and yet being here only reminded him of death.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that the gold man had truly been his father. He couldn't shake the feeling that those words had been true. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd hear her wheelchair rolling down this hall like back to a time that felt so long ago.

Yumi somehow lived? Again defeated the odds? How would that even be possible!? A bad feeling settled into the Kazekage's gut as the shadows lightened even further.

_"The shinigami saved her. He says you owe a debt to him and will wipe out our lines in all directions if it is not paid. He wants you to take care of her for as long as she remains on this side."_ The tension that had coiled itself across his back at that sentence had not released.

That shinigami, that death god- _what_ had he done!? Gaara's mind churned, thinking. Could a death god, only known for death, actually bring back life?

_Yumi_. His sand wanted.

Part of him, expected her to show up. For her wheel chair to sound and his eyes and raise to see her. Or for her near silent footsteps and then his sand would feel her. That any moment, every moment, she'd turn the corner or open the door.

When he had sat at his desk, he waited for her. When he had searched the files, he listened for her. While he had read, he looked for her shadow. He longed for the smile in her voice as she said his name. Her random shyness. How her hand would run through her bangs, or brush along his skin.

It felt like every part of him was looking for her. And yet- _nothing_. Never was it her, never again would it be.

Foot steps sounded down the hall. Soft with a slight drag. Quiet their volume increased as they walked unknowingly closer.

"Senior Medical nin Fujimoto Kimiko." Gaara's haunted teal eyes met the source. He studied her as her wrinkles increased. With a seriousness in her gaze she narrowed her eyes at him. Almost as if he had a reason to seek her out. Almost as if she wondered when he would be here…

"Your brother told you?" Her voice cracked.

A micro-frown twitched upon Gaara's lips. Told him what? Silent, he neither confirmed nor denied. His mind sorted through what his brother would have or should have told him that had to do with the Senior medical ninja.

Kankuro was on a mission to inspect a potential terrorist group on the outer edge of the border…

Medical ninja Kimiko Fujimoto frowned. With a long glance at her own door, she finally shuffled forward inviting him in."Come"

Another sign passed through her own bones. Her head turned towards a wall of photos, drawings, and origami. Sighing, she then drew in a slow breath.

"I thought he wasn't going to say anything until it was confirmed one way or another." She faced him, looking even more old than previously.

"Say something about _what_." Having not slept, the Kazekage was in no mood for riddles and his patience worn out.

The elder medical ninja frowned, clearly torn.

Gaara increased his icy glare, his silence demanding her compliance.

"We don't know exactly, that's what he was going to find out. We agreed not to tell anyone until we knew more."

Again Gaara let his stare command her to go on.

Her frown deepened, her eyes sliding away unable to meet his gaze. They found her desk. Shuffling over she opened a drawer. "Here." Her wrinkled hand held out a single piece of paper. "Read this."

Gaara's sand took it with ease. The letter was short. A sense of foreboding pressed down upon him with each word he read. It weighed his every breath. Again without a word he looked to the Medical ninja to explain.

"The samples matched Yumi…"

_Breathe_. He couldn't breathe.

"As you read, they say she has amnesia. Kankuro took the photo with him. It showed her with her scars and a cat-thing. Though it is like no cat I've ever seen…"

"**What?**" Gaara couldn't hold back the harshness in his voice. Cat-thing. The Cat thing. Asami had repeated it over and over as if it had been important, but what they had drawn off her description had been no cat. "What," he forced his tone to normal, stoic, "did this cat thing look like?"

She described what Asami had. It matched the sketch in the file to the T. His sand frozen upon his skin, the Kazekage showed nothing of the storm within him. And Fujimoto concluded, "Your brother went to check it out; no one wanted to say anything until we knew more."

"Okay." With one curt word, he turned about and left. His footsteps echoed heavily down the hall, the letter still in hand.

_Breathe_, Gaara commanded himself.

_Breathe, _he repeated.

Yumi some how was _potentially_ alive...

_No_, in his soul, somewhere, Gaara knew - Yumi lived. The pieces fell all together around it. The Suna haunting about the debts, the sudden stillness of it at the same time of him needing to review Yumi's death, his father's gold and message, and now this- _all_ confirmed for him that of which he didn't have proof for.

**Yumi. Lived.**

_How_?

**Just what did _that _Shinigami do!?**

Annoyed, Gaara's foot steps quickened. His mind racked over what abominable act the death god had done. Couldn't he have left her in peace? Didn't he want her on that side anyway?

A chill went through him. His father's words... The death god might retrieve her one day. Kill her after already going against nature.

Annoyance bubbled quietly into anger. Maybe he should visit the nomad tribal elder. As Kazekage he should keep good relationships up with them for Suna... maybe bring them something.

Plus, supposedly they had ways to talk to the dead. While he didn't believe in such, the Kazekage was willing to try it if it meant he could have words with one very **_specific_ **death-god spirit.

Would it be possible for him to scar that monster, like he scarred him? The long healed wound across his heart and shoulder throbbed, _yes_. Kurokawa's water arrow had diverted from its mark, but he would make sure his sand did not.

_Yumi_

_Breathe_

…

* * *

…

The rocking hammock in the back of the cart called to her. Her entire body rocked as wheels creaked as they were pulled onward. Sand in all directions with a heat that burned. Hiiro hid even further under her hood, scarf, and shawl; not a single patch of skin exposed. Jun had said the sun would stall her scars' healing and with this sun, Hiiro believed it.

"Do you want to sleep again?" Kiji eyed the muted woman that sat gingerly beside him.

Sleeping without Kuro still hurt her heart. Sorrow folded itself into every crease of her fabric, skin, and soul. Daring to not breathe, she shook her head no.

"You seem to only be able to sleep during the day now." His tone only held understanding, "Is that because Kuro's gone?"

The rocking hammock answered his question for him but Hiiro again shook her head no.

Her body awkwardly curled as she tucked her chin further into her raised knees. The long dress pulled tight across her thighs and calves as she tried to remain perched. She felt like a sausage, a very sad, alone, sausage.

"Something on your mind?" The uplift of his voice brought her single unpatch eye from the sandy horizon over to his brilliantly tan and burnt face.

Hiiro studied him. She searched his every inch for a sign or hope. In his kind smile she felt almost like she could find it...

"I'm well traveled and well versed." His eyes sparkled in the harsh sun as he leaned over with the gentlest of shoulder bumps.

Hiiro let her gaze drift back to the desert, absorbing the feeling unable to relate it with the nothingness within. Empty thoughts and vacant memories fogged her head. Things she wanted to ask, didn't know, were on the tip of her tongue, unable to start. As if she had a mouth stuffed with cotton, Hiiro sat there as the wagon continued on.

Silence carried on. The sun crawled it's baking self across the sky frying all below.

The wind picked up the dusty hot sand and blew it across their route. The smell of heat rose.

Her tongue skirted past her dry and slowly cracking lips, "I'm from Suna."

He perked up, his back straightening. "You remember something?"

"I-" She paused, "I don't know."

"Well, still…" Keiji assessed her before adjusting his body language to try to uplift her spirit, "that's something."

Dumbly Hiiro nodded before she glanced back at him.

Again her eye wanted something. A question in her mind she couldn't get herself to say was clearly reflecting before him even with her covered in all her dark and mournful layers.

"Any questions you have? About Suna? Or else where? Like I said, I'm well traveled. It might put your mind at ease." Again he gave her a comforting grin, hoping to coax whatever it was that she had racked her brain over these past few days out from the tip of her tongue.

"Um." Hiiro's head went to the side. "I don't know."

"Can be anything." He tried.

"Uh- have you heard of…. Of…" her voice grew quiet, "_of someone not dying?_"

His eyebrows furrowed together.

"Like," Hiiro hesitated, "like… uh, where… _someone_…" her eye lowered to look at only the sand in front of them. If only she could... If only she knew why she... "_can't be killed or die_."

Heat dry roasted her skin under the layer of clothing she wore. The sun without a cloud in the sky radiated brightly above them. Sand coated the inside of her nose and lightly dusted the small amount of shown skin around her unblemished eye.

Everything here was dry, and hot, and thirsty, and just-absent of _life_…

Hiiro licked her lips under the scarf, awaiting Keiji's laughter, judgement, questions, or scoff. Impossible it was, right? To not be killed, to not die…

The merchant's head cocked and then went up. "Well that's a curious question. Let me think-"

His head wobbled back and forth, debating. "The woman that could steal abilities… The man that was a puppet-"

Hiiro's gaze pivoted. A man that was a puppet!? Puppets could be living?

"The thousand masked beast… Zetsus… Paper woman… Kaguya Otsutsuki… Hokage Tsunade… Hmmm, Bomb man… Orochimaru… Hidan!" Keiji perked up at that name. "Oh I remember. I heard this once, when traveling."

Hiiro turned further to face the excited man. Was someone else in the world like her!?

"So there was once this S-ranked missing ninja. I think his name is Hidan." Keiji smiled as if that was the answer.

"Annd… uh… he-" Hiiro hesitated, unable say _couldn't be killed_.

"-Was immortal, supposedly." Keiji's head bobbed

"Immortal." Hiiro felt her heart pause. She didn't want to be immortal. Deep down in her soul, she knew- absolutely knew, she didn't want that at all. But Keiji had said was, so maybe- "Did he- uh-"

"Well since he couldn't be killed supposedly a group of Ninjas from Konoha worked together to bury him alive."

"**What**!?"

"Yep. So none of us never have to worry about someone that can't be killed because the Konoha ninjas will always find a way." Keiji grinned proudly. And then a new thought crossed his mind. "Have you heard about the Konoha ninja Naruto and the Moon?"

Still in shock, Hiiro's head tightly shook no. She listened as Keiji told the story he knew of this Naruto and the Moon

A pit within Hiiro tightened. Her tongue felt fat and useless. Buried him alive… all because he couldn't be killed. And now… the moon can attack even more viciously! But, Suna would be nothing like Konoha, right? There would be no Narutos, no ninjas trying to bury her. And, hopefully, there she could hide from the moon's meteorites.

Hopefully there, there would be her home. Maybe she'd even remember...

"Can… can you tell me about Suna instead?" Hiiro needed to change the topic. Naruto had went to the moon. Would he tell it about her, help the full moon torture her even more? Could those Konoha ninajs know that she couldn't die if they ever saw her? What if someone ended up telling them? They would bury her too.

She could never tell anyone. Being buried alive would be worse than the once a month torture of the moon; and even then the moon probably could still get to her... Heart beating rapidly, she swallowed dryly. "I, uh, I… I want to, I want to, um re-remember."

Was the moon after her because she was immortal? Would it one day throw meteorites at her too? Was this a never ending war that she would never escape? No. She had to escape. Without Kuro, Hiiro knew she wasn't going to survive if she didn't escape. She needed to remember...

"Alright. Care where we start?" Keiji did not know of her internal struggle.

Hiiro's head shook no. Suna would be safe. That sand woman had said so. She had even collected all of that fallen sand and took it with her! With it maybe she'd find where it was she needed to go. Maybe she'd remember before Konoha found out about her or the Moon tortured her even worse.

"Fine, let's start with their best goods. Suna is well known for it's-" words turned to sentences, and sentences into an endless commentary.

Hiiro listened, learning of Suna-made products, exports, and imports. No memories, no feelings, no little remembrances passed through her brain. She did everything she could to think of Suna, and push out the thought that there was more than just the moon out to get her.

…

* * *

…

The makeshift fire pit glowed faint orange. The scent of burnt wood and coals had replaced the smell of dust and sand. The dwindling smoke vanished into the dark night horizon. Only one other person was up, a nameless guard that Hiiro didn't remember Keiji introducing; not that she paid attention to every introduction Keiji gave. He was first watch. In 3 hours there would be a second watch, and then again a third.

Hiiro wrapped her arms about herself tighter. It was cool in the desert once the sun went down. Every night it was cool and then cold. Every night the fire died down like this. The orange and blue flames danced and reached before they would lower themselves back into the coals. Hot orange illuminated the edges, shadows, and contours of the coals. Hiiro rocked herself side to side watching the ember heat.

"You afraid of the dark?" The question interrupted the silence.

Both of Hiiro's eyes rose. In the night, she often removed her eye patch, scarf, and shawl.

"That why you only sleep during the day?" His beard and shadowed face hid his features.

Longing for rest, Hiiro placed her arms on her knees, and her chin on top of that. The fabric of her dress stretching tightly about her like a cocoon. Her eyes drifted out to the black horizon. She stared into the unknown, that emptiness within her a constant quake.

"No." She finally answered the man with a single sound.

"You some sort of Nocturnal? Or night shift employee from back at Tea Country?"

Hiiro flashed her gaze back to him. Had she ever worked a night shift? Is that something she could do in Suna? But, the only reason she could sleep during the day was because the movement of the wagons rocked the hammock… how would she sleep once they no longer traveled? Exhaustion absorbed through her flesh and into her bones.

How long would she last in Suna without sleep? "no…"

"Well I don't mind it, nice to have another person up. Plus it's humorous the way it ruffles Raya's feathers."

Slightly Hiiro brows wrinkled in confusion. What was ruffling whose feathers?

"Ah, time for another round." He stretched before running off. Hiiro's head turned, no longer able to see him.

_["A Jieti does rounds all the time. Always, you must be on guard. You must know every inch of an area, every movement. Unlike others who get to rotate, who get to rest - a jieti must never. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"_

_"Yes!" She shoot up straighter, as straight as a kid could be. "Yes." Her head bobbed up and down rapidly._

_"Ugh," The giant man put a hand on his face and then up into his hair in frustration. "Look," that hand shot down, and naturally picked up the ax which was always on him. "You-" he pointed it like a finger out, "run a 100 laps. Ain't no way you are ready to stay up day after day, night after night."_

_"I too!"_

_"I AM too, and NO you are not. If you want to be a Jieti, run! NOW! 200!"]_

A chill brushed Hiiro's shoulders as the orange faded towards black. Stars sprinkled across the sky. The moon, she didn't like looking at, was a couple weeks from returning to full.

"I'm," Hiiro rose stiffly. "I'm walking around." She announced to the man who was somewhere out there, maybe.

As normal, she walked away from the circled carts. The animals huffed as she passed. One of the men snored, another coughed.

Her feet traced lines in the sand as she walked out away from them. Cold inched further into her. Soon she would have to get her heavier layers. Then later, she'd practically sit on the rocks around the fire and just watch the unmoving stars.

Sand resisted the toe of her boot as she softly kicked at it. The sand was not flat. Unmoving waves were laid out about her. Silently Hiiro once again began to sway. Empty she longed, not even sure what she was missing.

_Kuro_.

Tears blurred her vision again as suddenly he popped into he head.

_Kuro_.

She missed him. That weight of his that once sat on her shoulder felt heart-breakingly gone. Those clicks and hisses that she could hear in her head no longer jerked the heads of others. Even his blood thirsty moods, she longed for.

"I'm s-s-sorry." Her mumble fell into silent sobs. Tears yet again spilled down her cheeks. Feeble, her curled fingers went up to her face wiping the salty water away with the backs of her cold fingers. Her chest hurt. Her heart hurt. No longer numb to everything, Hiiro felt pain.

"I'm sorry." Hiiro whispered to the world. Everything was her fault; him leaving was because of her. If he hadn't needed to change forms, he wouldn't have shrunk. If he wouldn't have shrunk, he wouldn't have vanished.

It was her. It was her.

The Konoha ninjas hated a person like her.

The full moon hated a person like her.

And if anyone ever found out she couldn't die, _didn't die_, then she too would be buried alive.

_"Hidan"_ Keiji's voice in her head said the name of the only other soul who might understand._ "An S-rank missing nin."_

There was no way she was a ninja. But maybe S-rank meant Slow, Sad, Sheep, or worthlesS. Had her and Hidan known each other? Been apart of the same group.

Was he too from Suna? Hiiro's eyes cleared as she wondered. Maybe in Suna she could find who she was. Maybe find who that gold-man and sand-woman were. And Hidan.

A fear hesitated that thought. Would she have to be careful about finding more around Hidan? If she asked it out right, would people realize that she too didn't die?

Had she left Suna because they wanted to bury her!

_No_. Hiiro shook her head. _No, that was Konoha. Not Suna._ She would have to stay far, far away from them.

A light scuffle of sand grains caught Hiiro's attention. At her feet, the moving barely audible sound continued. Crouching Hiiro looked for the source. Unfearing, her eyes slowly adjusted.

Six small pointy legs walked towards her. A tail held up with a curl and a barb bobbed as it marched. Small pincers were paraded out in front of the body. A second similar outline caught up to the first.

Scorpions, a pair. Focusing, Hiiro narrowed her eyes trying to see their armored exoskeleton color.

Unafraid and lonely, Hiiro laid her hand out. The cold sand pressed against her skin.

Their tails jerked in reflex, but did not strike. They crawled towards her fingers. One brushed it's pincer along the tip of her pointer, the other placed a front foot on her thumb.

If they struck her?

By their coloring and fat pale tails, they were ones Keiji had said were extremely poisonous and 100% fatal within 7 hours without the anti-venom…

Hiiro did not withdraw her hand. Drowning should have been fatal. The stabbing should have been fatal. The spear that had soaked her dress in her own blood, most definitely should have been fatal.

She waited. They inspected her hand, their tails still.

Would they strike? Would it hurt?

They didn't. Instead the pair walked onto her hand. Curiously, they stayed there side by side in her palm

Slowly Hiiro stood back up. Her palm up and even to hold them.

The light above showed a yellow like tint to their pale shapes. Potentially red or black legs held their small bodies up.

Hiiro breathed slowly. Other than Kuro and the horses, she hadn't been around too many other creatures… Kuro had probably been responsible for that. And as dangerous as he had been to others, he had never once harmed her. Would these be like that? Or at any moment would they sting her hand, strike her face, or launch their venom into her eyes?

They remained standing before her.

"Hello." They gave no response. Their claws did not even pinch.

And then slowly they leaned the same way. It was almost as if their heads and their little bodies cocked to the side.

Hiiro stared at them. The wind picked up, brushing her short locks. I was time to return to camp and gather her heavier clothing.

"You probably should go back home… huh." Sadly she lowered them back down and returned them to the sand. They, unlike her, had a home to return to. A place they knew.

The pair looked up at her. Hiiro didn't move, not wishing to accidentally step on them.

In silence, they scurried to her boots, walking around once. Then from the tip of her shoe, they crawled on.. Hiiro stood still. They marched up her boot's ankle to the hem of her dress. As if their feet could grasp the cloth, they crawled up further.

"I don't have food on me." They continued their line up, gently prickling her shin and then thigh from their climb.

"Where are you going?" She pulled on the fabric to help them about the creases.

They crawled further towards her hip before slipping into her dress pocket.

"Do you want to come with me?" She lightly pinched the pocket edge, pulling it back to look in. The darkness revealed nothing.

Carefully, Hiiro dared to put her hand into that same pocket. They were curled at the bottom.

_Strange_. She slowly retracted her hand out, less lonely. "Jinkun and Hisa. I'll call you that for now. Come, let's go back. It's cold."

Hiiro slowly walked back to the back camp. And then she thought of something…

"You know, Jinkun and Hisa, you can't attack anyone at the camp… Okay?"

Silence blew itself across the stale desert.

...

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**Dun, dun dun! A scorpion pair is now traveling with Hiiro - hopefully no one dies from this. And Gaara now knows that Yumi potentially, probably, is alive (and Kankuro didn't tell him!?)! **

**By Keiji's calculations and travel rate, our heroine will be in Suna by the next chapter!**

**Think Gaara's ready? But Suna is a big place, right? What will Hiiro think of Suna, how will she sleep? And maybe, they won't even meet! Speaking of not-meeting, where in the world is Kankuro! Did he get lost or somehow travel right by Hiiro not knowing she was already on her way to them?**

**Looking forward to your comments.**  
**And thank you for reading!**

**\- Rain**


	11. Chapter 11: Unallied Anamnesis

**A/N -** Ayyyeeee. It's been awhile again. Sorry Sorry. I lost my job due to Covid (T_T). That was some panic. Then found a new job (Thank-you-construction)... And now #blacklivesmatter. So much grief. So much sorrow. So sorry for not having diversity in my own stories too, or if I ever made light of trauma (hopefully I didn't, but I swear to do well.) To all of you- lots of well thoughts for Covid, for current pain, for past. Aye- We can make a difference. One can make a difference. Stay safe. Hope all is well. Many thoughts!

**Ash** \- Most definitely will check out your story! Hope you like this chapter too! We are sooooo close to Gaara and Salt crossing paths again! I'm so excited. Like will she remember him, will he recognize her. Now that she's not strong, what will she do in Suna? Also I'm curious how you'll take Kurokawa Taiki's role.

**All - **Thank you for coming back to read!

**Enjoy!**  
**\- Rain **

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* * *

...

"Salt."

Hiiro rolled over in the hammock. It's ropes pressed their crossing pattern into her shoulder. Her arm went to rest over her head to hide her face from the incessant light.

"Salt!"

Her long sleeve covered arm moved back down to her chest. Mismatched eyes opened slowly, tiredly. Baking- she was being baked and now they wouldn't let her sleep?

Hiiro closed her eyes again, refusing to get up. With it a dry heat, she was not covered in sweat, but heat still assaulted her every sense. Who could sleep in this? Hiiro rolled.

With the movement of the cart, the hammock rocked. Her soul focused on that. The back and forth. Like shallow waves complete with the thumping of boxes, squeaking of wheels, and voices of men.

"Can't believe she can sleep during the day." A man spoke outside of the covering.

"I hate it when we come here." A second joined in.

"We get a real room and beds tonight."

"Yes."

"Showers."

"Women."

"Sake!"

Her eyes reopened. The dusty overhead cloth covering met her gaze. It was bright with the sun's overpowering illumination. On one of the overhead bands, Jinkun stood upside down. His six legs held him to the bent pole perfectly while his fat tail relaxed out with gravity. As if he could see she was awake, he scuffled. Down the band and onto the wagon's edge he met up with Hisa. Their light yellow bodies with red-to-black legs scurried. From the edge they went across until they got to the band her hammock was tied to. Up that, again without drop or slip they went upside down and then to the rope.

Hiiro didn't move as they came to her. She felt no fear. No joy either. From the tie rope, they navigated the moving thick netting - jumping on to her long skirt the first chance they got.

"You two enjoy this." Hiiro muttered to them. They liked the heat. They like the desert. But Hiiro, missed. She missed-

Her mind held blankly and then the grief rushed back. _Kuro_, Hiiro despaired. _Jun,_ she longed.

The twelve little spiky feet on her torso changed rhythm. Hiiro glanced back down to them. Their little bodies bounced as their feet marched in pattern. They were dancing! With a silent exhale through her nose, Hiiro didn't smile but felt lighter. Annoying buggers.

Hiiro didn't roll back over so not to bother the creatures set on making it to her shoulders. The two little bodies climbed across her body as if she was nothing but yet another small dune.

"Salt, it's Suna. Come see."

Hiiro snapped forward. Jinkun and Hisa stayed clamped onto her. With no more shenanigans, they went into the folds of her blouse.

Suna. Hiiro practically fell out of the hammock with a large thud. Her feet couldn't get under her right. Her arms strained to lift herself off the cart's planking. Pins and needles spider wove up her protesting leg. Rising, she ungracefully, bumbled forward.

**...**

* * *

**...**

"Elder" Gaara spoke with the utmost respect. That Shinigami had done something, it shouldn't have.

"Kazekage." The elder's tone held the utmost disgust. Her blind eyes stared blankly.

The young Kage ignored the tone and instead waited for the next instruction. The elder listened as one of the men whispered in her ear. Her head slightly turned before her arm went down to indicate a spot. "Sit. Cross Legged on the floor. Your men can wait outside."

The two ninja with him both solidified their stances, refusing to move. The young Kazeage studied the spot. Woven mats covered the tent's sand floor. The same blood like markings that had been painted on the floor of his office were here as well.

Carefully Gaara studied the elder. He didn't know why they couldn't have just met on her lands or his. But he was the one who called this meeting. He was the one that wanted it to be prompt.

_Yumi_. He closed his eyes. Absolute, his teal eyes opened. His head tilted only slightly to the ninja to his right. "Wait outside."

"Kazekage-" With a look, he silenced them.

The ninjas' gazes returned to the tribal elder and her two guards. They narrowed their gaze in threat on if anything happened to their Kage and then with a formal bow, they left. Only the flap of the tent door sounded at their exit. On the sand, Gaara could feel them strategically setup guard outside.

Without hesitation, Gaara stepped from his spot to where the elder indicated. He lowered into a cross legged seated position. His hands went to his knees while his back remained straight. Eyes serious, he stared at the elder who definitely should have been long dead by now.

"Oh, I bet you are giving me a look." She grinned viciously.

Gaara held his silence.

Her wicked grin turned into a sneer. "The great murdering, blood thirsty demon, taking commands from a little old nothing-tribe lady like me. How strange that you came looking to me to ask for this."

With a silent exhale, the Kazekage showed no response to her words except the slightest move of his fingers as he gripped his own knees tighter. He had asked her for a favor, unless he wished her to not grant it - he needed to tolerate the berating.

Then she surprised him. Her head turned as if to speak to herself, "How strange it is that I have been debating going to you myself as well."

That caught his attention. Kazekage frowned; the elder rarely came to Suna. "Why?"

Her head moved again as if to contemplate his question and then her body language went back to aggressive. "Why did you come here?"

Gaara narrowed his gaze. With a slow inhale through his nose the stench of their sweat and the sand wafted through him. Refusing to be baited, he centered himself. Slowly his gaze moved down to the blood like markings across the well worn woven mats. He debated. Then his teal cold gaze went back up, giving away nothing.

A vow of silence.

"Fine," she waved her arthritic hand dismissively, "let us begin."

...

* * *

...

_Suna_

Hiiro kept her eyes on the large plateau looking formation. Sand blown up by the wind bloomed out in front of them. It danced and billowed, briefly blocking her vision before it settled back down. Slowly, ever so slowly, the rock plateau grew in size as they approached.

_The sun was bright and it was hot. The hottest she had ever felt. Her face burned but she sat tall, the tallest. Her back straight as she stared at the new place. Never before has she been to a place like this and her eyes sparkled at the thought._

_"Will you stop!" The voice below her boomed as she naturally tugged on his air. Her hand fell idle as her anticipation grew._

Hiiro inhaled sharply, her entire body frozen at the memory. She had been here before! Her mind unfolded upon that thought a little more...

_"So we are traders." A male voice she didn't know spoke from behind her. _

_She half craned her neck to look but then snapped her head back forward as the wind picked up the sand ahead. It blew spirals into the air, massive waves. Enthralled she watched the wind paint with the golden grains. _

_On broad, iron like shoulders, she, the tallest, could see forever._

_"You are traders." A man, walking beside with colored hair and shorter than her, replied. Her heart warmed at his voice, while excitement built up within her. "We guards."_

_"What about her? Say she's your child?"_

_"No." The voice from directly below her growled. His deep and all encompassing vibrating through her. Protected._

_"Our child? It would show that we are together." A woman half sing-songed with hope in her voice. That caught her attention- __family_?_ But then what looked like cacti and water in the distance caught her eyes instead. She had home, him..._

_"Merchants traveling with children are less suspicious than groups without." Words without meaning floated pass her head._

_"It would be safer for her too." The one who said they would be guards glanced over the giant that she sat on. Noticing his gaze, she looked down on him and grinned ear to ear._

_"I guard?" Her little voice asked with hope to join in the fun._

_"No!" that voice boomed out again barely letting her finish._

_Immediately she puffed her cheeks and entire body up. She wanted to to be with him too! Same trade! __Already tall, she sat up even taller. __Her little eyes narrowed. Prickled, she glared out on this vast bare land. _

_The tan flat mountain they were traveling to looked interesting. They were , she plotted on how she'd have fun too. Make friends. Maybe even kids like her! A new home!_

Hiiro gasped in surprise._ Suna!_ She couldn't remember how old she was. Her name, nor their names. But she had remembered something!

Hiiro's eyes narrowed. Wishing to remember more, she even uncovered her grayed eye so both could stare at Suna. Nothing more came to mind.

She focused on the memory to not let it slip away. There was still so much she couldn't recall even of that little event. But still... she remembered something! She remembered the feeling of the sun. She remembered being high riding on a man's shoulders! She remembered his voice; it was that same voice who had once told told her not to cry…

Who was he? Who were the others? Her family? She had a family! Even if she couldn't remember who they were, suddenly Hiiro realized they or someone had existed, had carried her.

_Traders_! They were traders! And guards! They were someone! She, maybe she too, was someone? Hope within her rapidly spread its roots deep within her being. Maybe she wasn't alone… not just empty.

"Keiji." Hiiro whispered, uncertain. Hope and nervousness mixed together within her.

"Keiji," she repeated, still very quiet. "I think… I mean… I did... I remembered something."

"Oh?" His eyes went to her, "really? That's good!"

Hiiro paused. It was, wasn't it?

"What did you remember?" His smile held joy and curiosity.

"I, I was a child." Hiiro replied quietly. Unconfident she wished for all the world that memory had been true, was true. "We, uh, we were… coming… here, to Suna. Traders and guards."

"So your family moved to Suna?"

Hiiro paused. That's why people moved and traveled, right? Slowly, just barely daring, she nodded her head twice.

"Well that's great! We can work with that." He grinned again.

Hiiro dumbly nodded again.

_Traders_. Her breath trembled. _Something_, she had remembered something.

Hope bloomed through her exhausted flesh. Even she, who couldn't remember, had a home! "I-" Hiiro hesitated, "I should- uh," her head half cocked. "I should write Jun, right?"

Her mismatched eyes went to Keiji to look for reassurance. The hope before her wouldn't just suddenly vanish like Kuro had or turn into a nightmare like the moon did, right? Within the blooming feeling, Hiiro also felt fear. Now that she had hope, she didn't want to lose it but she also wanted to share it. Jun would be happy for her, right?

"I bet she would enjoy getting a letter from you. We can mail it as soon as we get there."

Hiiro nodded her head. The idea of sending a letter to Jun only added to those blooms of hope within her.

Hiiro's hand slipped into the breast of her cloak to feel Hisa and Jinkun. _Traders_, she thought again. _And Guards!_

"Go grab your paper, it should be a pretty smooth ride from here to the gates."

Her hand retreated, "okay."

As she rose, that hope made her feel stronger. "Yes."

* * *

In the underworld, Gaara raised his face to the gray void above. _Yumi. N_ow here again, he remembered the story his father had told him. He remember Taiki saying the Sinigami would be with her, except now he wasn't. Gaara, filled with mixed and muddled emotions, exhaled.

Unlike before where there had been some souls here or there, the empty space which they now walked held a foreboding feeling of ill and despair.

"The devil-demons are coming closer. In a few months, under a year, they will push into the living." The elder croaked. "This is why we need you to call those friends of yours, that kid and woman who claim they know shinigami."

Gaara's cold eyes glanced to the elder, "I have words that I need to speak to him first."

"The kid?"

"The Shinigami," Gaara growled.

"A Shinigami!?" The elder woman and the clone of her younger self both repeated, shocked.

Her blind eyes belittled him as disdain seeped from her spirit's spores. "You dare think you are equal to a shinigami!?"

Gaara huffed. With how murderous he felt, he didn't care if he was equal to the death god or not. "How do I call him? He and I need to speak."

"A Shinigami?" Her nose crinkled, as if he was but a child. With a shake of her head, she split in two. A younger version of herself coming out of the older.

The gray on the horizon movingly trembled with fatal vibrations. Silent screams of blood thirst, destruction, and horror sent a chill through their souls. Her gaze left him. The younger one looked one way and the elder another. They scanned the empty abyss.

"Devils. We need to hurry." The younger one spoke, ignoring the Kazekage's ignorant statements.

"Gaara! Son!" His mother's rushed voice came from the gray.

Gaara turned his head. His teal eyes scanned the abyss as a chill went through him. "Gaara," he heard it again.

"Oh Gaara, you didn't-" Her spirit glided across the plane, coming from nowhere. Her hands went to his face and then scanned down to see the light still within him. She calmed, but the chill of coming horror still surrounded them.

"You" The elder recognized the spirit. "Did you stay with that kid and woman?"

"Who?" Her head cocked, as she tried to piece together what the elder was asking and then recognition made its way through. "No, they went off-" her hand drifted to the distance and retracted, "hopefully to reincarnate."

"Do you know why it's safer here than before?" The younger clone of the nomadic elder turned her head. "Previously the devils would nearly be upon us, every time we walked. But for the past week they've stayed at bay."

His mother's entire spirit paled. It wavered. "Yes." She nodded as if uncertain. Her eyes went back to her son, "but you still live. You shouldn't be here."

"He's needed, we all are." The elder snapped. "Without the Oni, the devils are coming. When they break through, horrors beyond our nightmares will rule."

"No one knows where that gate-keeping monster is." His mother shook her head. "And this is no safe place for living souls. You should return." Her gaze went to her son's and held it.

"I'm here to talk to someone." "We need to speak with that kid." Gaara and the elder spoke at the same time. Both side-eyed the other immediately afterwards, frowning.

Karura glanced between the two. She frowned. Did they not realize how dangerous it was for the living to be here? The shinigami and devils both destroyed souls.

"Son, please," She smoothly slid towards him, placing a hand gently on to his cheek. The teal of his eyes warmed, "you need to return."

The spiritual outline of his hair didn't shake as he moved. Walls within him went up, "I can't yet."

"We have business." The elder stepped forward, and then looked to the current Kazekage. "That kid before - the one that dared to speak as if Shinigami's could be taken care of, what is his name?"

"Kurokawa Taiki"

With a slow, breathless inhale, the elder closed her eyes. Then without an exhale, she inhaled again, centering herself. Her soul wavered. Her younger clone vanished. Inhale. Inhale. Breathless, unneeded, inhales.

"Kurokawa. Taiki."

"Kurokawa. Taiki."

"Kurokawa. Taiki."

* * *

His sister, her younger self covered in metal ninja protectors of all villages, dashed. The protectors had tallys and some circles on them. Very few of the circles were not crossed out. A spirit formed representation, they made no noise as she leapt away from a fatal claw. She easily avoided the devil as she drew it's attention. A quick whistle gave the command. Her comrades charged. They grabbed onto the devil's limbs, torso, and head.

The devil demon shook. The kid ninjas held strong as they were whipped wildly. Without a call, her brother companions, the jieti, joined in.

"Shit these things are strong." Basan complained.

"Minawa or little brother-dude, this century please!" Yuichi snapped, annoyed as the devil tried to break free again.

Yumiko had paused, her eyes on her younger brother. Taiki had been charging and then suddenly he stopped, paused. His eyes and then soul illuminated, oddly. His entire body didn't move.

"Hey!" Her former teammate tried again. Yumiko's head turned towards them, and then at the movement to their left. Immediately, their opportunity was turning into a problem. Another devil's head popped through the gray. A thousand eyes narrowed onto her closer brother. Claws pulled it's bent form out. Eyes down its back and a triple set of arms made this devil formidable, but he was still coming out of the lower level. They had time still; she had time.

"Keep hold!" Yumiko commanded.

With a flash of hand signs, her spirit deformed. As a blur, she flowed past her younger brother and attacked the rising devil. Her shin formed to meet the side of his head, snapping his neck left. His claws launched for her, but again with a rush of signs she flowed her spirit away. The devil still between levels, screamed.

"I really gotta learn that!" Basan eyed the girl who had introduced herself as Taiki's elder sister.

"Good luck. Minawa is a genius." One of the dead kids replied.

"Ahhhhhh!" Taiki shook, finally reanimated.

"Fuck!" He swore. "Fucking, fuck, fuck, fuck!" He shook his whole spirit form before instantly rocketing forward.

His preteen arm grabbed the massive axe on his back and charged towards the still held devil. With a single, whole body, all-of-his-pathetic-human-strength swing, he chopped hard into the held held devil's neck. The ax stuck halfway through. The devil roared, his limbs flayed wildly throwing five of the seven souls that had held him.

"Shit!" Taiki cursed. With his foot on the monster's chest, he pulled the ax free and swung again. "Piece of SHIT!"

Yumiko attacked the ascending devil again, trying to buy time for her brother to kill the one they had. Each monster down was one less monster left.

Three-quarters of the way through, the ax had stopped again. Taiki grit his teeth in frustration. This one's neck was ridiculously fat. What the fuck did these beasts eat!?

"Watch out!" Basan grabbed Taiki's shoulder as a foot suddenly grew out of the held devil's chest. With no time, he threw the preteen away from a claw-toe swipe.

"Shit!" The kids holding, all re-positioned quickly so they could keep hold while securing the new limb too. The devil growled soundlessly. Chills went through all.

"Crap, so-" Taiki's whole body paused mid-sentence; again he oddly glowed.

"What the!" Shigamuri noticed, "what the hell?" He studied Taiki.

"Uh, Kurokawa?" Basan still had a hard time believing this kid was Kurokawa... and that Kurokawa had a sister named _Minawa Yumi._

The kid spirit, Shigamuri, turned to his previous teammate. "Minawa, your civilian little bro is not good."

A whistle of three called across the gray space, Mezu or Gozu. More of the demon-devils were on their way.

Yumiko, with a devil between her and her brother, calculated. Fighting one of these was hard enough, two difficult. But with Taiki randomly pausing to glow, and even the more on the way? Not worth the risk-

Gritting her teeth, Yumiko went against her shinobi blood. "We retreat!" The words were vomit in her mouth. Shinobi never left a mision, and yet here she was doing it again.

Shaking her head, she reminded herself of the waves lined up to die at the shore's cliff. They could not be that, but the devils could. "We need to fall back, now!"

"What!?" Horror bled through Kichirou who had given the same oath.

"Isn't it a little early to give up?" Mizuchi landed a kick as Shimizu Atsuchi, the former Jinkun, blocked the devil's attack. Basan gave Taiki to Shigamuri so he could go join the other jeiti. The three grown men lasted all of seconds before being thrown back.

The insane devil screamed.

Yumiko's eyes fluttered side to side. Estimating, calculating, weighing, worrying- she went through the risk, their ability, the devil's ability, the probability of success and failure. Her soul firmed; the risk was too high.

"No, we must retreat. My brother is compromised, there are already two here, and more are coming."

Without waiting for comment, Yumiko whistled hard the shrilling order to pull back.

"Shit!" Shigamuri rolled his eyes," come kid." He hauled the paused boy.

The others ducked and dodged as they too scrambled back. Yumiko, with her fingers flashing through signs, vanished as an arrow shot out. It strung through the two devils multiple times. Each time, their body would jerk and expand as if she had attached paper bombs.

Their frames shook as Yumiko reappeared, her soul fatigued, her spirit lighter. She didn't wait but instead turned and ran. Mezu and Gozu appeared on either side of her.

"How many did you see?" Yumiko's mind was half back in the ninja wars.

"Another four." Gozu answered as he studied who supposedly was the great Kurokawa's sister.

She nodded, "we took down three and left two."

"Not bad. Faster than last time." Mezu glanced back. "And no one is following."

The group ran until they were well back into the Shinigami controlled space. Taiki, now moving on his own, stopped first. No one huffed; the dead didn't need to breathe. But some, out of habit, moved into positions of recovery or relief.

"Kurokawa, what happened?" Shimizu asked the boy.

Again his eyes glowed as his body half paused. "I'm being-" He shook his head, trying to free himself of the pull. "I'm- Damnit-" His teeth clenched, "being called."

"By someone that wants revenge?" Mezu and Gozu asked, causing Yumiko's gaze to harden.

"No, but a young Kazekage and old hag that I'm gunna kill!"

An imagined chill went through the deceased group.

"Taiki!" Yumiko scolded. Still agrovated, Taiki slowly placed the ax back onto his back.

"Well, we got five this time." Sumido glanced across his fellow young nins, although they were ones who had fallen before or after him. Then he looked up to those who had known Minawa's brother, the former Jieti.

"Getting better." Shimizu nodded.

Taiki again glowed. His body froze in place. Yumiko frowned at the sight. Then, breaking free, her brother rattled off a string of curses.

"So, we all go together, orrrr?" Noya spun his eleven year old hand in the air, leaning back onto his heels. He looked towards the eldest Minawa; she was their leader and so that there wouldn't be two leaders the jeiti members followed along.

"Ye-""No. I'll go alone. Don't want them to get involved in what we are doing, right?" Taiki moved his axe to his shoulder, interrupting his sister.

"Fine. I'll observe from afar." Yumiko's gaze studied her young brother with a complicated reflection and then it flicked to her past teammates, all who had died too young. "Rest. Once this is taken care of, we can plan our next move. You good with that too?" She then looked to her brother's companions.

"Killing those bastard devils before they make it through." Taiki clarified.

The Jieti-eritos and the former Jinkun all nodded.

"Ya know, it wouldn't be bad if a few of those nations fell into despair, ya know?" Dai glanced at his previous teammate Sumido.

Sumido cocked his head to the side to glance towards Yumiko before he then nodded in agreement. "Not like any of them deserve _our_ help."

Shimizu Atsuhi frowned at how these kids still hadn't let go of their anger, "I told you all, the world is not like that anymore."

The six kids all eyed him with distrust. Mizuchi's hard gaze joined them.

"Mostly." The former ice-man corrected and then glanced to the very skilled children. "Some parts still suck, but the wars you all lived through all nations and villages were trying to slaughter another doesn't exist anymore."

Basan nodded his head in agreement. "They made an alliance for peace, even bloody mist as you knew it, is just called mist."

"Uh-huh, you all have said that before, on repeat." Yuichi snorted in distrust.

Noya, the youngest, glanced at Yuichi his teammate, then the unknown adults who were helping them, and finally Minawa's brother, "You gunna go?"

"Yes." Taiki nodded, glanced across the dysfunctional group. Death had been a lot more peaceful back when everyone hated him...

"Alright, we rest. Taiki-" Gozu paused, feeling like he just went against the nature of the universe by calling Kurokawa that..

"Uh-" He lost track of his words, waiting for the great Kurokawa to come in and lob off his head for believing that this preteen kid was him… "Um," Gozu shook himself from the nightmare, "we'll be here if you need anything."

Taiki rolled his eyes. The afterlife definitely had been better when everyone hated him.

"While he's talking, Minawa, show me how you did that jutsu. I haven't been able to do one since dying. The more of us that can do that, the better." Shigamuri eyes met his former teammate, Minawa Yumiko.

Yumiko nodded her head, "water adapts to the vessel that holds it."

"Jeeze not another one of those." "Ah fuck, seriously sis!" Yuichi and Taiki complained at the same time, and then glared at the other.

"Look," Taiki's gaze broke from the death glare to meet his sister's and then Shimizu's, "I'll be back shortly. Hopefully get them to go on their way."

The group he knew nodded, the child ninjas did not.

With one last glance to his sister, he felt a twinge of that former jealousy he had for her. "Don't give away all the secrets without me."

Dai snorted, "If I could have done half of what Yumiko ever did, I wouldn't have been killed when I was."

An impregnated silence fell across the group. Without a word, Taiki turned away to go to those who were calling him. Complicated feelings flushed through him. He knew his sister had been a prodigy. It had been hard not knowing that with the big ceremony they had threw her after her graduation… And from the letters of honors for her, he knew she went to war and became a hero. But he had never truly understood… He had thought being a hero had been a good thing...

Taiki felt guilt and regret. Shigamuri had mentioned to him that their Kage had once threatened his family if Yumiko didn't keep fighting. Team after fallen team she survived. He had never realized just how many she had killed in _being a hero_.

"Kurokaw-" "KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!" Taiki screamed hearing that old hag calling him yet again.

His gaze immediately went to Sabaku no Gaara, of course it was him. Always it was him or kages causing all the problems, "What the hell are you doing here!?"

Suddenly, Taiki remembered that if this brat was here, then the Shinigami would find him too. A new annoyance burned in him as he realized he'd have to save this Kage again. "You have got to be the stupidest death-seeking kid ever! You need to leave! Right now!"

"I want to speak to that Shingami." Gaara spoke before the elder could.

The elder's and her younger version's head turned sideways to him and then back to the boy. Taiki's spine was overly straight as if shocked. The tribal elder easily felt the tension between the two. This preteen's connection or power over the shinigami was what they wanted to know. Maybe listening, she could hear what they were looking for.

"Are you really out for death!? The ONLY reason my arrow didn't go through you was me, he wanted you dead. I mean he wants everyone dead, but ever since she befriended you when you were five there was a little special desire for-"

"It's about Yumi!"

"What!?" Taiki's entire form went even more rigid. "He wouldn't do anything to her- He-" His mind raced. What would or wouldn't a death god do? Death gods viewed death as normal. So what wouldn't they do? A chill went through Taiki.

Gaara's gaze narrowed. Anger twisted within him.

"The death god-" His mother shuddered, and then she remembered Yumi. "He brought her back to life or at least made it so she didn't pass to here."

Taiki's head snapped to the deceased sand woman sorrowful tone. Confusion flashed through his previously complicated gaze, "That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"A death god giving life goes against all. Who is this Shinigami? How powerful is he?" The elder couldn't believe it. A death god that brought life? What blasphemy was this!? Her words and own shock were ignored by both the Kage, kid, and deceased sand nin.

"She looks like she was tortured." Karura met the Taiki's gaze. Her entire spirit paled mournfully. Both him and her son reacted in further shocked confusion. With a frown and grief filled tone she explained-

"She had scars- across her eye as if it had been punctured. Across her face as if clawed. Her neck as if strangled. And she doesn't remember anything. That hope and strength she had in her smile and eyes - it wasn't there. If she had died… and from her scars, it's hard to see how she survived with such unhealed injuries… that death god should have left her as dead. Bringing her back, it broke her, maybe even damaged her soul."

Taiki felt at a loss. Why- Why-

Gaara grit his teeth at the description of Yumi's horrendous injuries and suffering. She didn't deserve _that_! "Damnit"

Taiki shook his head. "Yumi-" He couldn't think, that kid… that little girl who was only twelve when he had died… She- He- He broke her soul? "No-" Taiki shook his head again. "He…" Except Shinigami never understood.

The tribal elder frowned. As terrible and impossible as this story was, it was not why they were here! "This is an issue of one person; it is of no matter. We need your connection with the Shinigami boy, especially if this one is powerful. Devils are trying to push through to the living. Without the Oni to keep the order and the devils separate, they are already in this plane and making a push to go into the living."

Gaara watched as Taiki went from shock and horror to immediate annoyance.

"He isn't any more powerful than the others. This sand brat knows him too. But his one friend is pretty strong... and the bastard is vindictive." The kid glared into the air with his teeth clenched.

"Supposedly Yumi is traveling to me, but I want to know exactly where she is." Gaara went back to the more important topic.

The elder's blind eye twitched. "The one is not greater than the many! If we do not get the shinigami to join us then all is lost! You are unneeded- Return!" Her hand flashed out and suddenly the Kazekage's soul was pushed back. Back through the space between.

Back to the living.

The elder turned to the boy, "Now about that shinigami?"

Taiki frowned sourly. "He won't help you without me or him with you. And I'm not going to help you."

The thought of Yumi tortured, burned his soul. Rage like he used to have reignited. Without thought, his hand went to the axe on his back. With an iron grip, his knuckles turned white.

Death- he wanted revenge for whatever had hurt her. Had it been the shinigami? Death Gods. Devils. Oni. Spirits. He hated it all. And with spirit condemning rage, he vanished. They had monsters to hunt, and only monsters could kill monsters.

The tribal elder frowned. It was bad enough the Priestess of the land of demons wanted Naruto and the leaf village involved, now she needed the Kazekage involved also?

Did no one realize the nightmare of situation this was!? Without the Oni, who would keep order? If the Devils made it through, it would be the end of the living world as they knew it!

...

* * *

...

"That's going to end up hurting your neck." Kieji commented as their cart slowly inched forward in line.

Hiiro's neck was craned back, her head up. The suna wall was massive, memorable.

"If your parents or family were traders, we could check with the Suna trade bureau. They might have something in their archives. Although without a date, description, or name we might not be able to narrow it down enough."

That brought Hiiro's single eye back down. "Archives?"

The traveling merchant nodded. "Keeps name and record of every trader, in case we are responsible for an attack or in case they need to find us for restocking of our goods. It's how I get the permit to sell or distribute. We'll go there first thing tomorrow."

"Tomorrow…" Her gaze went back to the base of the wall. Supposedly it was sand. But the sand they had traveled across was soft. It blew in waves and cyclones. But here, in Suna, it was a wall.

What could she be here in Suna, if they could even make sand into a massive wall? Who had she been? Had she been a-

Emptiness rung within her. A- her brain tried to think but only feelings of nothingness, useless, disconnection, and emptiness, met her. Hiiro frowned. Was she... Even here... Why here did she feel like this? Was she just this broken?

"Eh! What's wrong?" Keiji noticed

"What if-" Hiiro started and then stopped. Her gaze fell. It didn't matter. Her eye went out to the desert. _I'm not enough_

"I'm going to help you look okay? Don't give up before you start. You can't know what will happen."

Her head turned to him but it did not nod.

"Salt, you remembered something coming here. Maybe once inside, you'll remember more. This is where your family traveled too, right?" Keiji's perceptive gaze studied her.

The single green eye he could see closed.

The memory was scattered full of missing faces and information. She had been young, but it had been this place. She had been carried, protected. Travelers and guards. A booming voice that had made her smile. Excitement for the new place.

Ever so slowly, she nodded.

_Yes_

* * *

**Thank you for reading and adding my story. I'm hoping the next couple chapters will be easier to write. As normal, drop me a line or the characters! We got the start of a new plot and maybe a new mission? Dun, Dunt, Dun!**

**Salt - "What do you think my family traded?"**

**Keiji - "I don't know. What do you think they traded?"**

**Salt - *Thinks***

**Keiji- *Waits***

**Salt - *Still thinking***

**Keiji - "Remember any colors on signage or boxes?"**

**Salt - *Round face wrinkles up in even more thought***

**Keiji - "What about something maybe they were trying on to display or presenting?"**

**Salt - *Crosses arms over legs just barely, still thinking.***

**Keiji - *Wonders if the hamster in her brain is dead***

**Salt - *Cluelessly thinking***

**Keiji - "Do you remember your store or trade name? Like something group, sect, trader, shop?"**

**Salt - "I-I... I don't... don't think I could read back then."**

**Keiji - *Le sigh***

**Salt - *Turns head distractedly, watches the wind paint the sand across the sky.***


	12. Chapter 12: Salt bath, rocks and hope

**Fatin Emelynn** \- Hope you are still reading and hope to see more comments, Your "Quarantine during Quarantine" defiantly had me laughing out loud! Luckily Suna's Quarantine wasn't quite that long, so maybe we all can hope for the same. *knocks on wood*

**Ryo** \- Welcome back! Welcome back! And now I'm afraid of what you'll think of the first book. And yep, still updating though not so great on the speed thing. Hard to keep motivated sometimes... eeeee *looks about nervously*

**All** \- Another chapter forward we go! Thank you for reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing. ^_^

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Like the undead, Hiiro's feet dragged her through the hallway. Her throat hurt and her eyes still felt full of tears. The full moon had been last night. Still, she couldn't die. Still, it hated her. Still, it had attacked. Alone she had suffered.

To not bother others, she had locked herself in the bathroom with the shower on cold. Plugging the drain, she let the tub fill up. Submerged with all windows closed and doors locked, the full moon still struck out. It pierced, slashed, and crushed her - over and over again. To not be heard, she stuffed a washcloth in her mouth. And then, when she could take no more- Hiiro tried again to just be done. Blood and water had mixed. Horrible memories she couldn't remember tormented her. The full moon's murderous actions thrashed upon broken, she could not die.

And silence of morning didn't feel like peace. Without the rocking, she hadn't slept since they arrived in Suna three days ago. Without Kuro, she was alone. The full moon was going to come again but even another night of no sleep felt like too much. Hiiro's thoughts frayed. No rest, no salvation, no hope. Step by step, she mindlessly walked forward. Death by exhaustion was not possible for her. She had to try to survive or continue to suffer. She had no choice but to continue on.

The sound of her feet slowly dragging across the hall floor repeated one after the other. Her fogged mind fluttered. She had no energy nor spirit to move any faster.

_Traders_ That male voice she couldn't place resounded in the emptiness. Hiiro wanted to close her eyes and just hear its sound. _Traders. Guards. Don't cry. _Three different male voices spoke, the last one the most prominent but even it could not refill her.

_Sandman_ Kuro's declaration joined it. _Debt_.

With the longest of inhales, Hiiro lifted her red and wary gaze. Her body swayed weakly as she naturally limped, one foot dragging a little more than the other. The staying curled or half drowned in the tub all night had hurt her joints and muscles. But the nightmare, the full moon's attack, had been worse. And in less than a month, it would be back for her soul again… Worse, if she didn't figure out how to sleep without the rocking, Hiiro wasn't even sure she'd last that long! But it was even possible for her to die.

Turning, she smacked right into the wall. Light and black fluttered across her vision as the floor flew out from under her. Her ass hit the unyielding surface hard. Her skirt bound tight against her hips. Her sat-on-shawl tightened itself about the front of her neck. Her breath couldn't come-

Choking!

She was choking!

As if the full moon attacking her wasn't enough! As if her trying to end it herself, wasn't enough! Now her own clothing was after her!? Immediately Hiiro rolled to her hands and knees. The pressure released. Coughing, her throat burned. Two sets of casual footsteps sounded, a man and woman's voices mixed. Hiiro shut her month, wishing she could truly just vanish from all sight and sound.

The strangers' conversation stopped; their footsteps stopped.

Glancing up Hiiro was met with the stares of two other hotel guests. Their pupils were small as their eyes were wide: shock. Her scarf had fallen from her face and her hood slipped from her head. They could see the entirety of her face except where the embroidered eye patch still laid. Her disheveled clothing and awkward posture only added to the scene.

Embarrassment flushed through her in spades. Who was she? Nothing. No one. Empty. Hated by the full moon... Probably a criminal, worthy of such punishment...

Hiiro's single eye went to the ground. "S-s-s- 'rry."

Heat crept into her cheeks as exhaustion dragged down the skin below her eyes. Her mind fuzzed and part of her wanted to crawl right back in that tub, or better yet back to wherever she had crawled out of, back to never waking up.

"Here," The man's tone sounded unapproachable. "Let me help you." His extended hand lowered into her vision. It seemed like it was more for show to the woman beside him, than her.

Hiiro softly grasped his hand, abruptly she was harshly yanked up. "T-t-t-t-than-k y-y-y-ou."

"There you go. Do you need assistance anywhere?" His eyes demanded her to say no. He didn't want to help her. He didn't want anything to do with the likes of her; his aggressive stance only held contempt.

"N-N-N-o." Shrunken before him, Hiiro knew her place; it was beneath his feet and out of his sight.

"Alright then." A false smile flashed, before it turned true as he turned to the woman behind him.

"Shall we, my dear?" Like Jun's caramel sauce on a warm cake, the man smoothly and lovingly spoke to the proper beauty behind him.

"Yes." The woman's own voice sounded like a crisp spring bell. She smiled radiantly. Her arm took his.

Peach, lilly, amber, and vanilla lightly teased the hall as they passed. The woman's luxurious hair bounced as she nestled into the man "That was very nice of you dear."

"Of course." The man nonchalantly responded, as if he had simply emptied the trash.

Hiiro closed her eyes. Briefly she wished the world away. She wished herself away. Why hadn't Kuro taken her with him? Why hadn't they gone somewhere where someone knew her? Why couldn't she remember? Why hadn't she just died? Why did the full moon attack her so? Why couldn't she sleep? Emptiness answered her each and every thought.

Slowly, Hiiro opened her eyes. One saw only darkness, and the other the hall. The world and herself were both still there. Exhaustion hauled down her soul. It had already stolen her spirit, if she ever had one. It seeped out her pores and weighed her every breath. One month, she had one month until the next attack...

Tired, she wished to close her eyes and sleep. But there was no sleep here. Without the movement of the cart, without Kuro to swing the hammock… Hiiro couldn't sleep. Worse, the Suna Trader bureau and the Civilian Registry office had both been useless in helping her.

With no other choice, Hiiro placed one foot in front of the other. The long hall slowly shortened as she continued to drag herself towards where she met the others each morning.

Hopefully they hadn't heard her screaming and sobbing in the night. Hopefully others would never realize what a criminal she was to have the full moon on the hunt for her. How insane she was, terrified of each time the full moon came back.

"Breakfast is getting cold." Keiji slid his chair out and rose as she finally entered the dining area. "Still can't sleep? I'm not sure showers in the middle of the night are the best for that though. I hear baths are better."

Hiiro raised her gaze only enough to look at the large mug at her spot. He had gotten magical horrible tasting tea called coffee and a large blueberry muffin.

Dumbly, she bobbed her head.

"Well today I have meetings with clients and distributors. Suna's a safe area, so why don't you wander around and try to see if anything triggers another memory."

As Hiiro sat in her chair she felt a mental ax fall upon her. Alone.

No Kuro.

No Jun.

Now, no Keiji.

Her sluggish, injured mind couldn't even feel anymore. Slightly shivering from the remnants of last night's attack and frozen shower, Hiiro wrapped her hand about the lukewarm coffe mug. Emptiness, Exhaustion, A Shell - that's all she was. A sinner the full moon punished. A monster Naruto and those from Konoha would bury. Except she couldn't die, so she had no choice. _ Sandman,_ Kuro's tail had so clearly written. _Debt,_ he with his four arms had pushed into her mind.

"Oh-kay." She spoke more to herself than the traveling Merchant who was her guide.

Hiiro closed her eyes yet again. The heaviness upon her intensified.

She wished she could sleep.

She wished the full moon didn't exist.

She wished Kuro had never vanished.

She wished she had never woken up.

She wish she could die.

She wished the sandman was here.

She wished to remember - and then she unwished that. If her memories included the full moon and why her existence was so vile to it, she didn't want to know...

"I need to eat with clients tonight too, will you be good by yourself?" A voice pulled her from the darkness.

Hiiro's eyes reopened. Silent, she just nodded.

Lifting the weighted, awkward, mug, she brought the dark muddy drink to her lips. She slipped and like a placebo she instantly felt its affects. Still exhausted, she felt awake. Still in desperate need of sleep, energy perked through her. Now alert, she was still no less brain dead. Numb, she falsely started to feel. Her mind both buzzed and faded.

Her body protested as she continued the large continuous gulps. Strangely the temperature did help her throat while it made her feel as if her eyes were both going to sink-in in exhaustion and pop-out from the heavily caffeinated self medication.

"Good. I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow. You can tell me about your day then. I might have a few more places we can ask about your family too." With a grin, Keiji patted her shoulder. He signaled his men to rise and the small group walked out.

Hiiro finished the mug and set it back on the bare empty table. Piece by piece she slowly ate the large sugar coated muffin. Her uncovered scarred hands were not as painful or as noticeable as they had been before. The lines still marred her skin. They matched the attacks of the moon- where it had tortured her. Staring at the table, empty mug, and her own hands, she didn't notice the groups, couples, nor business travelers around her. She didn't notice how people would glance at her questioningly and then to their comrades. How people stared at her face or hands trying to determine the cause of her scars. How they studied her eye patch. And then she didn't notice how the dining area emptied out. How the food was all put away. She didn't notice the quick and efficient movements of the staff. She didn't even notice that everything was washed down except the table of which she sat...

"Miss?"

Hiiro's gaze raised again.

The kind woman sharply dressed in the hotel room shielded her reaction to the markings on the guest's face. Instead, she put on a welcoming smile and folded sincerity into her voice, "is there something we can get for you?"

_Sleep_. Hiiro answered silently. _Kuro_.

_Memories_.

_Jun_.

_The Sandman._

_My name._

_Death._

_Destruction of the full moon…_

With a shake of her head, Hiiro indicated no. Slowly, stiffly, she rose to put away the empty mug and plate.

"I'll take that from you." The woman reached out, her own hands wrapping about Hiiro's scarred ones. Her smile changed to one of gentleness.

Hiiro immediately felt loss. Mutely nodding, she passed them over. The woman kindly grinned again.

With a slow inhale, Hiiro placed on her gloves. Turning she pointed herself towards the door. With each exhausted step she treaded on. Her long bright skirt flowed against her ankles. Her contrasted hooded shawl fell all the way down her arms. The looped scarf, blouse, and eye patch brought the outfit all together. Reaching the door, she carefully pulled up her scarf all the way past her nose and then brushed the shawl's hood over her head until its lip landed at her eyebrows. Now, nearly every part of her was covered: not just to hide but also to heal. The sun did damage, would do damage. The sensitive flesh of her scars and the brokenness of her soul both needed to be hidden away from bright and harsh light.

Hiiro squinted as she walked down the pedestrian roadway. The relentless desert sun reflected off the sand, tan, and white colored buildings. Awnings casted dark shadows on the two sides of the street. People filled every space they could, most walked one direction or another but some stood idly outside chatting. Like the port, this place was also diverse but unlike the port, the majority wore coverings over their arms, head, and bodies. Hiiro glanced quietly, feeling not so different, but still so incredibly bone-dead-tired.

Not sure where else to go, Hiiro walked in the direction Keiji had taken her yesterday. Hood and scarf fully covering her face, she still stayed against the wall seeking in the shade and keeping out of the way of others. Hotels and hostels became shops and market stands. A little girl ran past her legs, out into the street. Her oversize pant legs flowed about her short little legs as she ran in circles laughing. Two boys' voices joined the mix. Their laughter echoed.

_She laughed._

Hiiro shook her head stunned. Her fogged caffeinated mind tried to think, but couldn't. Her single exposed green eye went immediately back to the laughing children.

_She laughed, a fully belly laugh with her hands on her stomach. Her small body was keeled over as giggles erupted out of her. The grass at her feet was green and soaked with water as she just laughed and laughed._

The tiredness within Hiiro evaporated. Her mind focused down on that fleeting memory. Who, when, where? She didn't know. There was nothing else in the memory except water and pure, joy laughter.

Her mind paused as she stared at the playing kids. She had been there, like them. She had laughed, like them. Joyful, like them… Wonder filled Salt as she stared. Wonder at how she could feel as empty as she was now, if she had once laughed back then. Maybe, if she could just remember or find this sand man… then maybe the emptiness would go away.

As if to declare itself permanent, the pain within her rung harder.

Hiiro inhaled. She had laughed. Her family had came here. The sandman owed a debt. She was from Suna. Taking a step forward, Hiiro continued. With each placement of her foot, she repeated those thoughts. She had laughed. Her family had came here. They were traders. The sandman owed a debt. She was from Suna. As if it a mantra, it helped her move. It helped her breathe a little easier.

"Sale! Special 20% off sale!"

"Salt" Her head pivoted immediately,

"Sea, black, pink, and bath salt!" The seller held up small bags in front of clean bins of brightly colored mineral salts. The hope that had sprung up immediately within Hiiro, reduced but it did not vanish.

_Bath_, a tub in her mind filled

_"I don't need help with bathing." Her own voice called out._

_"Thee definition of paralysis means you do." A deep feminine voice immediately countered_

_"Just strap me half in and leave me. Or dump water on me. I don't want the help-"_

_"Consider it a spa treatment."_

The memory changed or flipped, _"This is one of our spa treatments. You use these in the water before customers arrive, alright?" A well manicured hand dropped a ball into a reflective pool. The water fizzed and clouded only briefly as dark scent of lavender mixed with the sand._

_Sand_, Hiiro's head turned to watch a gust blow up the particles through the air. She frowned confused. _Paralyzed_? Had she been hurt before? _Spa_… she had to work there. She remembered the cool marble surfaces, the carefully crafted wooden benches, and the scents.

Slowly, she limped across to the seller. She stopped before she got too close that he'd talk to her. His deep vibrant voice kept hustling, listing all the amazing things about the salts he had before him. The bin of salt balls drew her gaze.

Two more small steps forward, and now she was within his gaze. He watched her approach.

His lips parted into a brilliant smile, "Salt? Great for cooking." he held up a sack that was in front of the pink bin. "Or for baking." He indicated to a fine white powder, "For muscles." He picked a different bin. "Or relaxing," then his arm went to the bin that held the balls. "Great quality, guaranteed."

"Do-" Her voice sounded, "do, uh, do..." Hiiro's eye dropped, "you know if, know if, I work-ed around here? I… I might have… but I… I…. I can't remember."

"Uh." His head leaned back as if to inspect her a little closer.

Hiiro lowered her gaze even further, waiting for his look to suddenly change to disgust, for him to shoo her. Anxiety twisted through her stomach into her lungs. Breathe, she couldn't breathe. Useless, nothing, ugly, terrifying, empty-

"Sorry cutie,-"

Hiiro's head snapped immediately back up. Frozen, not even her brain worked.

"- I don't." His clear brown gaze carefully inspected her before the deep ridges of his face uplifted, "but you know who might? Ito sensei."

Hiiro didn't even have time to cock her head before the man did a half turn. " 'ey, Ito-Sensei!" He turned back towards her, "he's too far. Give me a moment." With a wave of his hand, he asked her to step to the side behind his booth. "Here."

Hiiro shuffled herself back against the wall, her mind a muddle of confusion. _Cutie_? Her eye looked down at the skirt and shawl. Jun's work. Her fingers rubbed the fabric, she had picked it out. She had embroidered the belt and helped dye the scarf… Cute, her?

"Lil' man, would you help another man out and run down and get Ito-sensei, please?" The man crouched down to a young boy's height.

The kid grinned. "Yes," with a bow he dashed off, his head covering unraveling in a long tail behind him as he bounded away.

"So you grew up on the street behind us?" The merchant turned back to her, his smooth deep voice holding a tone she couldn't place.

Hiiro looked back as if she could look through the wall. Confused, she looked back to him.

"No?" His eyes roamed her, trying to place who she was.

Hiiro studied the merchant. He was tall. His voice rich. His hands broad along with his smile. Ridges of muscle and bone structured his torso. Like cool, carved stone, his face held attention.

Unworthy, Hiiro dropped her gaze. She stared at the ground in front of her and then down at her own toes. The short gray boots' soft leather was already well creased and dusty with sand grains. "I… don't know." She murmured down to her shoes, "I don't… remember." The long sleeve of her shawl caught her eye. It's color reminded her of the Tea country that she left.

Closing both her eyes, Hiiro wondered if coming here, if looking for the Sandman, if leaving Jun and there, had been right. Her exhaustion allowed the emptiness to gnaw harshly on her bones.

"Well if you are from around here, Ito sensei will know."

Shyly, Hiiro glanced back up and then dumbly she nodded her head. Her tired brain couldn't think how to respond. The empty air between her ears gave her nothing-

_Except_, her gaze went up the buildings. Except, her eye continued past the roof. Except, she stared up into that light pale blue-teal sky… Except she had remembered something. _Traders. Sandman. Spa. Suna._

"Traders." She whispered like a prayer to the light blue sky. "And a sandman who owed us a debt." That was it… That was it! Like puzzle pieces falling together, it suddenly made sense to why a man would owe her a debt. "My family!" She jerked her head down back to the man- "We were traders, and there were two guard… The sand man knew us or bought from us so he owed us a debt. Kuro said he'd help me… And, and…" Her mind reeled. "I worked…" It paused. That fogged memory of the manicured hand and a woman's voice talking about their customers floated just out of grasp of her tongue "I worked…" Hiiro struggled, "at a… uh, spa? I think… Kuro… he helped too."

The man's eyebrows furrowed in thought. "There's a number of spas but most aren't around here. They are in the razzy side. Hair, skin, nails, full body, are all there."

"Um," Hiiro's hand went to her pocket. "Uh," then her other pocket. "One sec," she searched within her shawl, across her skirt. Finally on her left side, she felt it. Reaching in, she pulled out a small notebook and pen, "could, you… uh… um…" She flipped through her scribbles, her brain not even sure what she wanted to ask. "I don't…" She frowned, what would she write that she could know. "I don't know Suna…"

"Here," The man held out his hand and she handed him the notebook and pen. "So we are here… Then you go this way. You'll see Ally-Street. Take a left. Walk five blocks-" the man drew as he gave instruction, turning the notebook sideways multiple times to write street names or distance notes. "-And there you are."

He handed it back with a smile.

"Th-th-thank you." Hiiro gripped the notebook as that hope continued to grow within her. If she could find her old work place, then she could find her family, if she found her family, then they'd know about the debt and help with the sandman if he was even still needed.

"You're Welc-" "You said I was needed." A man heavily using a cane, limped up to the booth.

"Ito sensei, do you know this young lady. She's lost her memories but said her family were traders and she worked in a spa. They know a sand man too, not sure which nin that might have been though or it could have been sand construction."

"You have amnesia." The man hobbled around the booth, leaning on his cane. Immediately Hiiro noticed the knot in his right pant leg, after the knee.

He only had one leg.

He was like her, was injured. He like her, limped.

Familiarity briefly drifted through her. Were they the same? Was she not so alone? "I- uh… got hurt."

Did they get hurt at the same time? Had something happened in Suna where they both got hurt? But then why was he here while she woke up in Tea Country? Maybe it had been on a trade route.

Had she been on a trade route?

"I was… I was on a trade route?" Hiiro spoke uncertain. But that made sense, _right_?

"A trade route to where?"

"Tea" That was where she woke up, so that had to be the route she had been on. Like Keiji, except Keiji hadn't recognized her...

"I thought you worked in a spa." The salt merchant frowned confused.

"I, uh, woke up in Tea country… I… I don't… I don't remember. But I woke up there, and I'm from here… so… uh…. My family were traders… so I… but I… I, uh..." Confidence withered within her as what little background she had on herself unraveled, like that boy's head covering.

Empty, Hiiro didn't know. She didn't know anything. She was _nothing_. Empty. Exhausted. _Sinner_. _Monster_.

"I see. So you assume you were on a trade route. When attacked. That's why you were in Tea country. But from Suna. Makes sense. Might have been a family trip…" Ito sensei leaned even harder onto his staff. His short clipped words were half completed sentences that tightened themselves about Hiiro's heart.

_Family trip._ "Kuro-" Hiiro paused. He had been the only one there when she awoke….

_Family trip…_ "No, uh-" If they had been there, then... "No." Hiiro shook her head, "I-" She wanted to say she had traveled alone, that her family was here. _But_...

Kuro had only mentioned the Sand Man, not her family. Her heart clenched. Her family. Her family… her family was dead. Tears blurred Hiiro's vision. All that hope, her only memories, and they weren't waiting for her!? Like Kuro, they were also dead? Unlike her, they too were dead?

"I'm…" Hiiro's tight voice shuddered. Her hand went to the pocket where Hisa and Jinkun hid. Their little legs touched her skin. She couldn't just shutdown. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't end it anyway. She had no choice. Blinking, she cleared the blurred vision. Inhaling, she pulled back on what little she had A shuttering breath, escaped. "I'm… I'm looking for the, the sand-sandman. He, uh, he owed my family a d-d-ebt. He-he will help me, knows me..."

In her mind, Kuro wrote out those letters. _S-a-n-d-m-a-n_ If he trusted him, since he believed in him, then she would too. Standing there, stiff as a board, with Hisa and Jinkun both half standing on her hand within her pocket, Hiiro waited unbreathing.

The elder let out a silent exhale through his nose. He stared thoughtfully. "It's hard recognize anyone. With so much." his free hand went to his face indicating her coverings, eye patch, and hood.

Swallowing hard, she pulled up her gaze until she met his. Slowly she retreated her hand from her pocket, Hisa and Jinkun stayed hidden away. Her gloved fingers brushed where they were. Determined, she gave the tiniest of nods. As fast as she could, so not to chicken out, Hiiro pushed down her hood, ripped off her scarf, and removed her eye patch. Her hair was thrown breifly up by her movements before it settled back down a the top point of her neck and bottom of her chin.

For a moment Hiiro held her head up tall. If he needed to see her to help her, then he could see.

Both men reacted. Their eyes wide, a half gasp from their lips, shock filled their face, "Kami!"

A few walking pass were equally as shocked. A woman even ran into another, staring. Soon the whispers about her would start, as they had done when she had walked through the town with Jun...

"You were tortured." Ito sensei's gaze held pity. Hiiro's let her eyes fall to the ground. Her short well styled hair fell forward, shielding her gaze. If only he truly knew; tortured wasn't past tense. The full moon continued the assault every month in punishment of her still breathing; and if Naruto and the Konoha ninjas found out about her then they'd bury her alive... If only he knew her torture continued and exhausted she could not even find a moment of sleep.

Weight suffocated her as anxiety and nervousness fluttered through. Her hand came back up to brush back her long, chin length, bangs. Once, then twice, a third time just because. Her mismatched eyes stayed lowered, following the patterns in the sand. The full moon had done this, the full moon… but what if these people around also joined in? Or worse, what if they found out she couldn't die? Would they bury her alive for the rest of eternity like Konaha would?

A chill sunk itself down into her bones. Sinner. Criminal. Useless… Emptiness burned within her.

"I don't recognize you. But there's a trader's section. And merchant networking group. Both meet monthly. I could ask there."

Hiiro glanced up to the elder, "You… You are... 'elping me?" _Why?_

"Why not? Both meetings are in the next two weeks. So meet here Wednesday. Three weeks from now. The 21st? At ten?"

Carefully Hiiro nodded. She flipped her notebook to a new page and jotted down the date and time. Three weeks, five days before the next full moon. _Hope_. "Okay."

"Also, cutie, you really shouldn't cover up so much. You're beautiful. 'kay?"

The salt merchant's tone held nothing but genuine admiration. Confusion compounded itself within Hiiro: she had seen him act shocked- "It's heartbreaking to me that you were hurt so, but that doesn't mean you should hide. Your mismatched eyes, the way your scars show your fight. And then how your kind jaw, cheeks, ears, soft lips and hair are- you are beautiful. And I'm sure you are by personality too. I can tell by how you talk," he smiled charmingly.

Then suddenly his eyebrows raised as he realized something, "ah, here, take this. From one family business to another." Quickly he threw three salt bath balls into a brown paper bag.

"Uh," Hiiro's hands searched. Finally she remembered where she put the small bills, and began to pull it out.

"Free of cost. Free of cost. Here, just remember me for next time, okay? And show your actual beautiful face more, as you feel comfortable. Maybe give me a chance to earn a smile from you too, hm? As friends in the business?" The merchant grinned, handing over the bag.

Dumbly, Hiiro stared at it and then back up to him.

Who was he to her?

Anyone?

Someone?

"Th-thank you." Hiiro nodded and then glanced down again, "thank you."

_["Will you be my friend?" Yumi asked the ice man that sat on the outskirts of the tournament._

_He sneered._

_"Please?" She beamed, both her eyes closed in a smile._

_Ice bit at her. "Ah!" It snapped and snarled. "Hey!" It numbed her fingers and her toes. "I-" "Hey!" "No!" Her long hair froze and snapped._

_Tears entered her eyes. "I just."_

_The ice bit into her again, harder._

_Forced, Yumi fled. Jieti didn't cry._

_"Are you crying!?"_

_"No." Her shorter hair shook. Her fingers burning from the frozen attack._

_"I'll kill him!"_

_"I'm not crying!"_

_"Hn." A growl replied back. "Eat!"_

_A sack lunch roughly impacted her chest before she caught it with both arms. Inside were her favorites, "Th-thank you," her stutter appeared before she resolidified herself, "Thank you!"_

_Once again, Yumi grinned.]_

"Thank you," Hiiro repeated it again looking at both the man and sensei directly. Bowing she repeated it one more time, "Thank you both."

"Don't get your hopes up. Not too far. But if you are from here. Someone will know."

Hiiro nodded. "Okay. And thank you, uh, again."

"See ya," The man waved as she began her new path, following his directions to where might be a place she worked.

"News, get your news!" A woman called out, waiving paper into the air.

"Fresh fruit from the east."

"New line of clothes in."

"Holy!" The high pitched voice of the one next to her, jerked Hiiro's head. "Holy, sorry." The tall woman apologized. Her eyes horrified. "Sorry," she whispered again, "thank you for your service though."

Hiiro frowned. _Service_?

Feeling uncomfortable and her skin burning from the sun, she brought back up her scarf and eye patch. For the moment she allowed her hood to stay down. She ducked back to the far wall where the awnings hid her from the sun.

Slowly wandering with the wall on her left, Hiiro continued weaving through the city. The merchant shops became grander. Scents of foods she had never tried before painted themselves in the air as music danced around them. Men and women suddenly dressed more formally and fashionably. Eyes followed her, forcing her to scrape even closer to the wall. High rise apartments stacked above the shops and store fronts. The road widened and the prices increased.

Hiiro kept walking. In a few more turns, she'd be near where maybe she'd work. A street of nearby spas. Questions in Hiiro's exhausted mind slugged about like pudding. Would they want her back? Did she have manicured hands too? Would they know the sandman?

"New pieces in! Perfectly balanced rocking chairs! It rocks itself. And will rock you and your new babe for hours."

That, that stopped Hiiro in her tracks

_Rocking chair,_ the weight upon her tired existence pulled unbearably. Exhaustion began to crush down upon her soul. _Hours_, her body wouldn't move even if she wanted it to. _Rocks itself._ She needed it.

She absolutely needed it.

As if possessed, Hiiro's body pivoted. Both her eyes locked on the merchant. He stood out in front of wooden, well carved chairs. Some had four legs, some three, then there were those that were on bowed arches, and a few that looked like they were a box on a track.

"Best rockers and gliders around." The man placed a hand on the back of two chairs, one he pushed down and the other forward. One rocked, the other glided forward and then back.

_Money_, Hiiro's hand went to her pockets. She had it. As she subconsciously walked, she realized both eyes were still visible. People were staring...

Wanting the chair with all her heart, she pulled out her delicate, embroidered, eye patch. Half her vision returned to black as she securely adjusted it until it was correctly covering her gray scarred eye. Proper, she refocused on the potential godsend.

Had Kuro known there would be rockers here? That she would be okay without him there to help her sleep? Hiiro wondered, her fingers playing with the fabric of her skirt before she placed them at the top of her forehead, she brushed back the long chin length pieces of hair. Momentarily they laid on the top of her head before falling down to alongside her cheek and scarf again.

With a big inhale, Hiiro walked forward

*_thud_* Her body flailed as she roughly hit the ground.

"Watch where you are walking!" A woman clipped at her before pushing a craft forward yet again.

Roughly, slowly, Hiiro hauled herself back up. She brushed off her skirt, blouse, sleeves, and shawl. With another inhale, she rose her head, half of her vision still black.

Carefully, she hesitantly limped across the street. Exhaustion tattered her brain and weighed down her body. _To sleep_, to be able to sleep again…

The sandman wouldn't mind if she took just the afternoon and tonight to sleep, _right_? She hadn't slept since they left the cart, and the full moon had attacked her last night relentlessly. Just a hour, she'd sleep. A few hours... The whole rest of the day if it could, if it did, actually rock _itself..._

Slowly Hiiro shuffled her feet, inching herself closer and closer. "Um,"

Her single eye looked at each moving chair.

"Uh"

"You interested in a chair miss?" The man noticed her gaze.

Hiiro nodded.

"A particular type? Soft with velvet cushioning? Majestic wood from the north? A perfect dining room set. Or a studious chair? Massage?"

"Nn," Hiiro shook her head no, she didn't want any of those. "You, you said... You said you had one that rocked? Rocked itself?"

"Ah, yes! Right here." In long strides he gracefully lined up behind a beautifully built, large, rocking chair.

"Will it, uh, rock all night?" Hope, she couldn't afford to have hope yet. Not over something like this, but she wanted. With all her heart, more than she ever wanted anything before, Hiiro wanted. _Desperately_ wanted.

"Have a new babe at home?" He smiled knowingly.

Hiiro's vision moved up to study his face, not understanding. Babe? Could baby's not sleep unless always rocked? Again the pieces in her head fell about until they sudden felt like they fit. Had _she_ been that way? Had she been _this _way since a child? Maybe Kuro had rocked her. Had _he always_ rocked her?

Kuro. Had. Always. Rocked. Her! Hiiro nodded rapidly at the sudden realization as to why she could never sleep without rocking.

"Ah I see! Then you will definitely want this one. It will keep rocking itself while you and the baby are asleep."

"Okay." Hope laced itself into her again, it up-ticked itself into her tone, and brightened her visible eye. "How, how much?"

"Three hundred and fifty dollars. Comes with free delivery and two nice cushions." The man smiled his best merchant grin.

"Okay." Hiiro's head bobbed. Her hand went to where she had four hundred tucked away. She had brought over a thousand with her, not sure what to bring and too tired to try to guess.

"Then let me get you a receipt. Where would you like it delivered?"

"Can you, can you delivery it here? Room 39." Hiiro flipped the notebook to the important page of the hotel information that Keiji had wrote for her. "And can it, can it be delivered now?"

_Hope_. Well, if nothing else, Hiiro was going to have sleep. And at this point, to her, sleep was far better than hope. Sleep was far better than the sandman, even! Then Hiiro wiped that thought from her mind, she did not want to insult him and lose even more. The sandman wouldn't mind... He wouldn't care if she missed one day looking for him. He probably didn't even know she was here...

A sourful thought suddenly entered Hiiro's head, did he know her family, that her family was probably dead? That they had died on the trade route in Tea?

Had it been all of them together, or maybe only some? Hope wanted to bloom up, but Hiiro's exhausted head had no place for it. Kuro had only written sandman, no one else...

"Um, miss?" The merchant carefully spoke, interrupting the crestfallen woman's thoughts.

Her single green eye raised to him. Her styled charcoal hair had a few strands of silvered gray, creating a tinseled look in the sunlight. The bright color of her clothes created a beautiful contract, but all of it was washed out by the sorrowful vacant look in her eye. Had she lost a child? The man felt heartbroken at her gaze.

"We also have a special on blankets, free with any purchase over three hundred." Quickly he dashed to pick up the small quilt like blanket before rushing back, "It seems like you stitch, or someone you know does, from the unique work on your clothing… These blankets are special. You can stitch memories or names on to them as keepsakes or family memorials." He lowered his voice as held it out to her.

"Memories?" Her eye raised up to him.

"Yes."

"It can help you remember?" Her tone held question and uncertainty.

"It can, if stitched." He gently smiled.

Her eye crinkled along with the scarf, she was smiling. She smiled back to him, "thank you." She bowed.

"Do you, or did you do this embroidery?" His hand now free he made a gesture to the scattered designs across her garments.

"Some. I'm not, I'm not as good as Jun, but I can… I try."

"I may know some customers that would like something like this. Do you pick up small embroidery requests or jobs?"

Silence filled the air between them as she did not respond immediately.

"I, I just helped Jun…" As if she had never thought of work before, Hiiro replied. And then Hiiro thought, "I, uh, worked at a Spa, but… maybe I could… help."

"What's your contact information? Or do you have a card?"

Hiiro shook her head no, "I'm staying at the hotel. Room 39."

"Name?"

"Salt Hiiro."

...

* * *

...

**Hiiro - *snores in the rocking chair***

**Hotel front desk - "Miss, we have a call for you, something about a job?"**

**Hiiro - *still snoring, dead to the world***

**Hotel - *dashes back to the phone* "Um sir, we'll leave a message with her, okay?"**

**...**

* * *

**...**

**So, question for you all **\- For adding diversity, should I describe it out? If you notice, sometimes I describe characters other times I leave it to what's in your mind. What are your thoughts on what's best to do? I'm a bit torn and defiantly would like to improve! :)

**Also, I would love to hear what you think about this book so far. Not sure how I feel about it honestly. Thoughts or ideas are appreciated.**

**Thank you again for reading! ^-^  
-Rain**


	13. Chapter 13: Each Envisages Differently

**Ladyktbaby** \- I really look forward to your comments every chapter. I don't wanna be an annoying author and say your name four times, that might be a bit (just a bit) excessive, so this is the reply for the first 4 chapter reviews. ^_^ First - I really, really want a happy ending too! but I also don't want to brush over the trauma Yumi-Hiiro has been through :( So hopefully we can end up there together but I have this bad feeling it's not going to be instant happiness for all involved. As for your question [_this is something of the past that affects how she is, but consciously she doesn't remember it even though it's still apart of her, maybe subconscious or even deeper]. _Also hopefuly you have caught up because after this chapter you should be extra super excited, cause I am. T-minus hours, we all will hope!

**All** \- I wrote this chapter out wayyyyyy faster than the last. So my questions on the last chapter still stand, but I also want to post this since well it's a bit happier and way more exciting than the previous. Although I guess finally getting sleep after never ending restlessness and yet another night of horror is probably also an extremely happy and exciting event *glances to Hiiro who nods her head rapidly*. Uh-huh, I think we gotta work on what Hiiro thinks is a great event. Soon. Hopefully soon (still love you Hiiro ^-^)

**As normal,** **Enjoy!**

**\- Rain**

...

* * *

...

Hiiro stared at herself in the reflection of yet another closed shop. The waning moon shone brightly overhead. She had slept.

Salt Hiiro without help of anyone else, without Kuro or a cart, had slept. She slept the entire rest of the day and long into the night, not even fully awaking when she must have kicked the rocker off again and again. And then- not because of the moon or Kuro. Not because the cart stopped or people were too noisy... For the first time since leaving Tea Country, she awoke.

Salt Hiiro felt awake. It had been night when she finally moved from the rocker, but she was awake. The darkness brought a cool protection of the sun and the threat of the full moon had passed. Clear headed, she dressed. Maybe, after finally sleeping, maybe, having not been tortured, maybe she would remember more. In the silence of well past midnight, Hiiro left the hotel with her little notebook. She could check out those spas the salt merchant had given her direction to. Then, if the sign and storefront of one looked familiar, she'd get Keiji to go there with her in the morning.

That was her plan. Hope that no longer could be stifled was lacing its way into all parts of her. Sleep most definitely had helped.

But her hope did not turn into anything more. The signs and storefronts gave no hint. She went to one unfamiliar spa storefront after another. There were no flashes of memories, no connection, nothing. While the hope still warmed her, the emptiness ached. With yet another sighed exhale, Hiiro plodded on to the next or someting else. . She had long crossed off the ones he had marked but still she felt hopeful she'd just stumble upon something the salt merchant hadn't thought of or she didn't yet know.

Carrying the silent burden, Hiiro turned and walked, and turned again. She kept notes of her path as she wandered aimlessly. Both her eyes searched for the word 'spa' or 'bath'. Men glanced at her as she walked by. Her hood was down and her eye patch off. She only had the brightly colored, interesting embroidered scarf up. Accidentally looking directly at one of the wall-holding, leaning men, she waited for that gasp, the horror, shock, pity, disgust that often crossed faces when they saw her-

They didn't .

Hiiro turned her head towards another. No glance of horror came.

A third, Hiiro inspected a little closer as his eyes also roamed her face. A single scar ran across his own and he also did not gasp. Hiiro glanced to the fourth who narrowed his gaze sharply, _murderously_, at her and then lightened it. With two fingers in a subtle movement, he made a gesture to indicate that she should move along. With a bob of her head she nodded. Without hurry, Hiiro continued on her way, away from the ominous men with crossed arms.

Again the buildings changed. The apartments stacked on top of each other became shorter. The decorated awnings were tattered clothes. More and more doors became boarded up, windows barred or broken. The street lights that had brightened the way, no longer were stationed on the corners and along the road.

Perking her head up, Hiiro prayed no one would come up to her. She vowed to ignore them. A nervousness stroked through her as she remembered the drunk group and the night Kuro had vanished. With an unsteady inhale, Hiiro kept placing one foot in front of the other. Still, she walked onwards. Out of her peripheral vision, she glanced over one sign after another.

*_Clank_*, Hiiro jumped. Her head jerked at the noise. Her mind remembered the woman stabbing her, that the Konoha ninjas would bury her, that the full moon hunted her-

But no one was there. A tall old building with rows of windows stood before her _*clank* *clank* _The zig-zagging metal stair case that ran down it the building rattled again. Platforms and windows-

_On her tiptoes with her fingers on the window ledge and her nose just barely above the sill, she stared out the glass window onto the street below. People walked by. Heads of people and backs of people. So many, and none ever looking up. There were tall people, big people, short people, fast walking people, slow... Her gaze jumped person to person, studying each of them._

_Would they come to visit? Should she go to them? No- she was supposed to not wander up to strangers. Hopefully, at least one would visit. A friend, __her_ _friend._

_Lonely, she looked left and right about her. The little two bedroom room had no one else in it. Voices came the walls, but no one was here. Her eyes scanned past the small kitchenette and bathroom. The place smelled slightly and __the floorboards creaked__, but still she knew. Alone she knew. She was safe, watched over, and that meant this was home._

_Her eyes went back to the people, waiting. Home, didn't have to be boring. She always would find her friend, friends..._

_"Ah!" She perked as a short kid walked on the street below. His red hair bounced with his slow determined steps. She went further up on her toes but he didn't see her. Her friend like so many others also didn't look up- _

_She go to him!_

_As fast as she could she scrambled away from the window to a small table and chairs. Grabbing one with her small hands, she leaned back to pull it to the window. With all her desire, she pulled and pulled and pulled. It dragged silently across the floor. _

_Finally back to the window, she climbed on to it. Her gaze landed on the latch. Her little fingers grasped and pried and twisted. It clicked and then she gripped, and heaved, and shoved. Despite wanting it to fly open, it just crept up slowly, and hard. But she didn't give up. Finally, she got it! Hands and knees she crawled out-_

_*thud* *clank*_

_She ungracefully fell, landing on the metal external stairs. Ignoring the new bumps and bruises, she popped back up and dashed, mostly-tripping down the stairs. They rattled, clamored, and clanged. The lower she got, the harder it was to see him but again and again she re-found his red hair and small silhouette, getting further and further away._

_He was going to leave! He didn't see her! Her friend hadn't seen her yet. Hitting the ground more in a splattered fall than jump or roll, she scuttled back up and sprinted as hard as her little legs could go._

_Weaving around people, she tried to keep sight of him. The kid, a kid just like her, kept walking. He had short legs too! She'd catch up! She would!_

_ Ahhhhh- she mentally screamed as she dashed, trying to catch up to him who was now hard to see with all the people. _

_She had to hurry!_

_"JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!" Her feet stopped. Doors slammed shut as she spun on heel. He shadowed her, he towered over all. __The people vanished. __His presence and hers were the only things that now existed._

_She narrowed her eyes at his toes and then glanced towards his chest. An ax landed heavy into the ground as a warning. Her gaze became slits of annoyance, "You said-"_

The memory ceased. Hiiro repeated her own words, "You said-"

_"You said I could make a friend! You said yes!"_

_"_You said I could make a friend! You said yes!"Hiiro repeated it verbatim. Then she bit her lip, her gaze on the building and the metal stairs.

Was this the place she was remembering? Where she had lived? Wandering about the side she went to the front. It was a rundown hotel with rates issued by the hour as well as the night on the sign. Had she grown up here?

The hotel wasn't one she was sure of walking in. The light was on inside, a person at the desk, but the sign was strange and there was a bell over the door that would alert everyone the moment she walked in. Oddly though, here, no one stared. Their eyes didn't watch her, scan her face, or even make any notice of her presence. In fact, it was almost as if people didn't want to see each other here.

Unsure but curious Hiiro wandered further forward to at least read the sign. Rooms and rates were listed. Some of the rooms had odd names- Jungle room, Velvet, Red room and Dungeon. A nervousness trickled down Hiiro's spine; nothing good could come from renting a dungeon for even an hour, especially for her... But then the hotel listed rooms that she could understand as hour rentals: Office, Study, Hot Tub… And finally there were ones she didn't get at all: Kazekage's Special, Puppet Masters, 100 Mirrors…

She frowned as she stood directly in front of the strange pricing and list.

Had she lived here? Her eyes went back to where she had come from the mental stairs. She had climbed those. She must have have lived here.

And she, even tiny, had she snuck out. To visit her friend. Hiiro turned in that thought as if she could still see him. In her mind, she saw him, short, brown cloak, hands in front. Determined slow steps marching forward. Her little legs had ran as fast as she could to catch up to him.

It felt like his name was right on on her tongue and yet nothing. Blankness without the slightest hint to what his name had been floated through her head.

Frustrated Hiiro's hands went to her hair, her eyes back to the strange sign.

"How much?" A male voice sounded to her left, closer than the others. Hiiro didn't get distracted though, she stayed focused on her own drifting thoughts.

A new question floated through her, what of the man who had been there? It was him, his deep voice that had told her not to cry, him who had been there when her family came to Suna.

Who was he?

She knew he was important.

But why couldn't she remember his face? A name? What she had called him?

"How much?" A man was walking forward behind her as if he couldn't read the sign. Hiiro side stepped out of his way and looked towards the hotel again.

Nothing more came to her mind.

The man behind her his head cocked at the well covered woman with an amused smile. Purposefully his gaze soaked in her back, ass and then legs. He grinned, curious what pleasure he'd find under the beautifully laid garment, "Same as the room? Same rates too depending on the interest?

Her head went up and then down.

"Well I can do that." He stepped to her, taking the head movement as acceptance. "Shall we?" His arm came around her shoulders and her head twisted towards him. Mismatched eyes peered all the way into his soul and for a brief moment he felt at a loss for words.

"Do you know me?" Hiiro's stomach twisted in nerves. He wasn't going to attack her like the others had on the beach, right? He didn't know the full moon hated her, right? He wasn't from Konoha looking to bury her alive...

"Oh, Doll, with your-" He smiled interested and enthralled. "-_distinction_, I would remember you no matter what, especially if we spent _time_ together."

His charm confused her. She felt like a fraud, wasn't those tones for the women like those in the hotel hall who smelled of peaches, walked with grace, and hair bounced?

"I-" Hiiro hesitated, unsure that he had the right person. "I woke up like this." Maybe he was from here though, maybe he'd know. "I can't remember. But I… I… I was here. I think... would you know if I was here?"

His intrigued gaze fogged over with concern, his arm dropped until his hand was on her back, "You don't remember what happened to you?"

Hiiro nodded.

"Did you report it?"

Her head naturally cocked as confusion wrinkled itself into her gaze.

"Did you contract anything?"

Hiiro frown. Contract what? Suddenly the full moon jumped into her thoughts. She felt herself pale as her stomach churned. She had incurred its wrath… Could it have... "I- I… I don't… I mean… I-" _What if the full moon had-_

Hiiro swallowed back her fear. "Is there a way to know?" She whispered.

He paled. "Oh honey." His tone changed to caring, "You need to go down to the clinic and get yourself tested as soon as possible. And press charges! There's video tapes. The clinic is free on Tuesdays. Now don't be standing out here anymore, you'll get yourself into trouble if you get with the wrong person."

Gently leading her by her elbow he walked them from the hotel. "You need money for the night?"

"What?"

"Here. Take this and go to the clinic a'ight? And file a report in the morning okay? There's a nicer shelter you can stay just down this street, if you need to."

"I… don't-" "-Go home and get yourself tested, okay."

He walked them further down the lit alley and then repeated himself, "Get tested, file a report. Okay, doll?" Then he just walked away.

Hiiro stood there confused. His money w as in hand. Her brain didn't understand.

But, could they test for what the moon had given her? Was all this the moon's fault, and not hers? And, if she filed a report would she find the sandman or that mountain of a man with the booming voice? Would it tell them she was here and find her?

Annoyance flushed through her. She had already checked with the civilian registry. She had been checked over before coming here. Wouldn't those two have covered if she contracted something or been the same as a report? She puffed out her cheeks, frustrated.

Slowly she began the long walk back to her rocking chair, kicking stones as she went.

The street was even more empty. Some lights had been shut off though bars still had people illuminated inside of them. A few were also walking together, most others in groups. As she walked, Hiiro still looked at signs. _Nothing._

A door slammed shut to her right. Lights of the house clicked off.

_Lights were clicked off inside the house they stood in front of, but she didn't pay attention to that. Instead she grinned ear to ear at her friend. "Hi!"_

_Without waiting for him to move, she held both her hands forward and took one of his. She shook it in ecstatic greeting. "We are friends now! You are a kid too, right? I'm 5! And we are the same height!" She let go his hand to put one on top of her head. Her hand landed below his forehead. The light-blue eyed kid with ruffled red hair and pale clammy skin just stared at her._

_"Well I'll grow." She brushed back her bangs. "How old are you?"_

_"Six" The boy answered._

_"That's why you taller! I'll be six too - later." She grinned and mentioned something about a birthday. "But we are friends, right? Five and six? Same Height? So we are friends." Images of them playing together, running through trees, holding and swinging hands, all popped into her head._

_"Yeah" He seemed shy._

_"GREAT!" She half jumped, excitement filling her whole being. "Oh- you dropped your bag. Let me get it." Without pause, she swooped up the brown paper bag._

_"I don't…." His face started to turn sour, as if remembering something bad. "I don't need it."_

_"It's Medicine?" She looked in then back up to the pale, sickly, boy with dark circles under his eyes._

_"Yeah," His gaze changed, almost as if ashamed. "I-I-I-"_

The memory stopped. He what? Hiiro narrowed her gaze at the empty stoop. This door way wasn't like the one she remembered. This wasn't where he had lived, her childhood friend. Hiiro's brain repeated those words, childhood friend. She remembered him. Not his name, but his age, six. She had been five but how long ago was that? He had been sick, had to have medicine with him that he didn't like…

If she found him, would he remember and recognize her? Would he know who the sandman was that had been indebted to her family?

Hiiro yawned. Her rocker was calling her. And, maybe if she slept on it, she'd remember more.

Pieces. Everything, the only things, she had were pieces. None of them really fit quite together, but maybe... maybe they would. Kuro had said Suna and the Sandman. She trusted him, he probably even knew there were rockers here...

Alone, Hiiro walked under the bright moon lit sky.

…

* * *

…

"Kazekage-sama," The man's voice caused Gaara to look up from the papers he wasn't reading.

His new secretary bowed, "You requested to be informed when Kankuro-san returned? He's just gotten back now."

"Good, tell him to come to my office immediately."

"Yes! Kazekage-sama!" The man jumped and dashed out, erroneously leaving the door wide open.

With a sigh, he leaned back. Visiting the Nomadic Elder had helped with nothing. According to the clone of his father, if he believed that, Yumi was alive, looked horrible, and couldn't remember. According to Senior Medical Officer Kimiko-san, someone had written a letter for a young woman by the name of Salt Hiiro who had supposedly exact matching DNA and antibodies as Yumi… If he believed both of those to not be a trick or trap. The elders would believe it to be a lure. A good one, if he was honest with himself. Except, there was that strong part of him he couldn't explain, that part that said that bastard, ogre of a man, who had raised her had done something abhorrent and immoral.

Gaara closed his eyes. He felt tired. Somehow leading in a time of peace felt far more exhausting than in the previous crises.

A single knock sounded, snapping his eyes open and drawing his head back down. "Come in."

His brother tentatively opened the door. "You asked to see me."

"I did." Gaara stared sharply.

Kankuro looked left and then right.

"You said you were investigating a potential threat." Try as he might, he couldn't keep the chill out of his tone. "I'd like to know what you found."

"Uh, well-"

Gaara stared knowingly at his brother.

"Ah shit. You found out, huh?"

"You didn't think it was pertinent to tell me?"

"I wanted to know more first, you've already been enough. We don't need to navigate some scam of a girl pretending to be Yumi." Kankuro's hand swept out, agitated. He paced the small space in front of the desk.

Gaara narrowed his gaze, a murderous intent flushed through him. "Is that what you found out?"

Frustrated, Kankuro ran his hands through his hair and then down his face. "No, dammit."

Gaara subconsciously clenched his fingers. He did not blink as he stared at his brother. He did not speak, but every fiber of his being wanted to know. What did you find then?

"We questioned the family, their story holds true. The same night as when Yumi died, a cat-like creature exactly as Asami described brought a very injured woman to their house with a ton of gold. According to Doctor Matsuoka Shuzo, she was near death with injuries like he'd never seen before. He spent over a day operating on her, expecting her to die. She slipped into a coma and again they expected her to die. She stayed unconscious until end of January. Then she just woke up, but with no memories. However Matsuokas knew nothing of her ability, if it's her. To them, she's an average woman who was brutally attacked and barely survived. It was the cat-thing that mentioned Suna and a Sandman… So it's hard to say it's her from just their story, but, when she picked her own name out, she picked out Salt and she calls the cat-thing, Kuro-"

"-kawa." Gaara finished the name.

Kankuro shook his head, "just Kuro. So, we couldn't prove it isn't a trap or scam."

"It's her Kankuro. Do you know where she is?"

"Gaara-" "-Sama" The Kazekage cut his brother off immediately.

Kankuro grit his teeth. "If Kimiko-san doesn't believe Yumi lived… And if this woman doesn't have Yumi's ability then… " His head went side to side, "but…" Something in him also said that against all odds, this was her.

"Where is she Kankuro?"

"Here. With a trader, Sumiro Keiji of Matsuchi Trade."

A name that meant nothing to him, now meant everything. "Have you located him yet?"

"You called me in here as soon as I stepped into Suna."

Gaara frowned. She didn't remember anything. Would it be better to just live her life?

"She's looking for the sandman though, one that owed a debt. I am assuming that's you? If it's her..."

His eyes closed. He could see her smile and then her tears. The tears she had shed right after everyone had found out about Salt. How she thought she was never going to be invited to anything, and how she felt that others didn't want her back in camp.

His heart hurt. "Let me know as soon as you find him or her, and before you have anyone approach them or check out her story any further."

"Gaara-" "-Sama."

Kankuro grit his teeth at his brother's second correction, "Kazekage," he bitterly addressed. "We need to know for sure."

"It is her, Kankuro."

"As long as there's even a bit of doubt, without the medical group's sign off, the elders and others, will rip her to shreds. They will view this as a trap, trick, or scam. If she's already been through this much, do you want to put her through that too?"

Gaara clenched his teeth. "Fine." He sighed, and glanced out his window. The desert was well known as a harsh environment and Suna often paralleled it. "You are right. But I do not have any doubt that it's her."

"Yah, I know. I get it. To be honest, I have this feeling it's her too, ever since I heard the story from Matsuoka Jun. But we have to be sure, brother, for her sake."

His head nodded, but Gaara's mind was already on the streets of Suna. He glanced back to Kankuro, "Do you have that picture of her? The one Kimiko-san said was sent."

Now his brother sighed, a slightly guilty look flashed across his face. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small crinkled piece of paper. He faced it face up on the desk, and then with two fingers he slid it over to his little brother.

"It hurts seeing her like that, knowing how she was..." Kankuro glanced to the ceiling briefly, "If it's her…"

Pale teal eyes stared at the photo. Gaara internalized his own reactions as he memorized her. His sand and lack of expression gave no hint to his thoughts.

But there was only one thought, _Yumi_.

Kankuro studied his brother as Gaara studied the photo, "Brother, it may be worse seeing her in person. It sounds like she's lost all of her abilities even average person abilities, like sustaining a normal run. Matsuoka Jun said she was catatonic upon waking up, nervous, pessimistic, and that she has panic attacks when the full moon is out."

His younger brother's eyes flicked up from the photo to meet his own. The full moon was out the day Yumi died. They both remembered it clearly, illuminating the crater. The one Gaara had purposefully went into, his pant legs becoming more and more soaked with each stride he went deeper into the massive hollow form. Shock and disbelief twisted into grief as he had stood there at the bottom of the massive hole that had been throughly saturated with Yumi's _blood_.

Kankuro swallowed before him. His older brother cleared his throat. "You should know that Doctor Matsuoka stated that it will be nearly impossible for her to return to an average condition."

"She's done it before."

"With her ability... Like I said, they saw no sign of that, even touched her while she had slept."

Gaara frowned.

Kankuro uneasily rubbed the back of his head, "I was hoping to have our own medical experts check her out, even if she's not Yumi, maybe she can still benefit from coming to Suna. The doc said she's lost 50% of her lung capacity, a number of muscular groups were severely damaged, and most non vital organs were too damaged, he couldn't fix them. She's probably going to need both physical therapy and trauma counseling… even if it isn't her."

"It's her. And that's fine. However she is, is fine. I don't care-" Gaara looked back down, and swallowed his own tightening throat, "we need to find her." The teal eyes came back up determined, "I _need_ to find her, Kankuro."

"Got it. I'll make it top priority. All traders have to check in so we should have a location before end of day." Kankuro watched his younger brother who just silently nodded, his eyes back on the photo.

The puppet master's heart hurt. Life was really cruel and needing to make it better he redacted his statement, "If all goes well we might even have a location within a few hours."

"Good."

Kankuro bowed and then looked at his brother one last time before he left. He had work to do, a promise to himself and his brother to deliver upon, and quick. Find Sumiro Keiji of Matsuchi Trade and the woman, Salt Hiiro, who had traveled with him.

The door shut. Pained, Gaara picked up the photo he was staring at. He forced himself to inhale. She lived, at least she lived. But _Kami-_

He found the cat-like thing that Asami had described, that had been drawn, searched for, and never found, easier to look at than _her_.

Shinigami. Kuro. Number 39. Without any explanation, he knew what that monster was. He knew it was him, that death god that had split out of that teen age boy back during the fight, when Kurokawa Taiki had attacked and marked him. The creature's gaze was remorseless, barbarous, and void of any care for any life - _except Yumi's_ as it turned out.

Gaara placed the photo back down. When he closed his eyes, he saw her, Yumi, how he had known her. Opening his eyes, just his gaze moved down to her photo. Her hair was styled. Strands of gray speckled her charcoal locks. Despite the care in her dress and look, her eyes were absent of it. The forest green one he recognized and the grayed eye was a testament of her survival, but the vacant, shattered, and faltered expression reflecting within them, he did not know at all.

Even when she had cried, before, she still had her resolve and strength. The gray clouded, blind, eye, hurt to see. Something, _the Oni_, had obviously pierced through her there. Her scarred face was much rounder. She had mentioned at times, she put on weight - probably from how much Yumi always ate. And he had more than once thought she would be even more lovely with rounder cheeks to match the half-chipmunk persona she seemed to take on… But this, something about her face, held a stigma of self condemnation, ignominy, and dispirit.

Seeing her pain through the photo he subconsciously mirrored it. He felt contrition; he had told her to stay away from the fight, away from him and where others could have helped her. He felt regret; he hadn't looked harder for her. He felt sorrow and heart break; it had been him who told her that he couldn't love her when he didn't even know what love actually was. With his soul so utterly heavy, Gaara glanced up to the ceiling.

_Kami_, Gaara cursed himself, the death god, the oni, life itself.

He'd pay the debt, any debt, if somehow, some way she would still end up okay. That he could change that look in her eyes. And if not him, then someone else. As long as she would be okay then he'd live with his debt and penitence, as he always had done.

Of how many lives he had taken, why did he feel like he personally had destroyed hers too?

_Kami._

_Yumi_.

Regret coursed through the Kazekage's veins. He hadn't even looked for her.

...

* * *

…

"Sorry," Keiji put a comforting hand on Hiiro's shoulder, feeling bad the hospital had or would not share any information about a red haired little boy that had been sick back when he was six.

"It's okay." Hiiro murmured, her single eye watching store fronts hoping one would spark yet another memory. "I wouldn't want someone just able to pull up my file either." _Because then they'd know I should be dead_

"I have a couple more vendors and customers I need to meet with. But shall we meet up for dinner, at the Lucky Dune?" She couldn't see his smile, with him walking on the side of her eye patch, helping her to not bump into things, but she could hear it.

"I-" Hiiro turned her neck as she saw an abandoned park. Abandoned, worn, bathrooms stood there without people or bells. Were those open for public use? They looked open, just a bit deteriorated. Distracted she replied back, "I can see you there. What time?"

"Seven?"

Hiiro nodded her head.

"You good by yourself?"

She nodded again, this time looking towards the well traveled Trader.

"A'right. See you at seven. Try to stay way from anymore of those hotels though, okay?"

Heat flushed through Hiiro's face at Keiji's comment. She had caused him to spew his coffee everywhere when she asked about the strange rooms. His men had all laughed and then immediately vanished claiming they didn't want to be the one to explain it. How was she supposed to have known that was what the hotel was and what that man had meant?

Hiiro nodded dumbly, embarrassed, and then she turned towards the park before he could make anymore comment on that terrible morning incident.

"Right then." Keiji muttered to himself before doubling back to the hotel where he was going to meet his men with the rest of the product he had to finish selling.

Hiiro limped slowly to her destination. It was an abandoned open space of sand. A broken goal post in disarray, tilted in an unusable direction. A sole intact swing held still. The rusted drinking fountain held a bucket worth of sand, completely blocking its drain. But despite the grotty appearance, Hiiro was not deterred. Seeing no one around to stare at her, ask what she was doing, what she needed, or gaze at her as if she didn't belong, she made her way to the front of the outdoor restrooms. Two doors stood side by side, both with cracks in them. The sign for men had fallen. Hiiro glanced about one more time in case she wasn't supposed to be here, and found it still seemed okay.

With an inhale, she entered the women's. The inside clean. She checked to see the water worked first, before she used one of the stalls. Here there were no people peeking to see under her hood, there was no awkward conversations, no need for uncertain purchases, and zero bells that brought attention.

Done with the stall and still alone, Hiiro leisurely washed her hands, careful of her scars. She rinsed all the way up past her elbows. Taking off her eye patch she laid it on the side of the sink before she pulled down her hood and lowered her scarf to her neck. With equal amount of care, she washed her dusty and warm face and then she dried off. Her scars reflected back at her, her skin mended but still healing. Fishing into one of her many pockets she retrieved the small travel bottle of Jun's remedial lotion that she always carried with her. With a small amount into the palm of her hand she gently smoothed it into the skin and scarring of her face, then neck, and shoulders. Finally she reapplied more and rubbed it into her washed hands, wrists and arms.

Hisa noticing the difference in heat, crawled out of her pocket. He marched up to her shoulder, half drawing Hiiro's attention as she massaged her skin. As she looked at herself, he looked at himself. Whatever he saw, he must have felt pride as he began to dance to himself on her shoulder in the mirror. A little to the left. A little to the right. An odd spin. A better second spin. One pincher up. Then two! Back to the left, then the right. Spin and jump, he continued. both pinchers bopped while and his tail bounced in his little shoulder-mirror dance.

Jinkun then also poked his little head out. He looked up at the other scorpion his pinchers fell slightly before rapidly opening and closing them in scolding, as if to tell the other to get back there right away. Hiiro watched as Hisa looked down to his companion, his poisonous fat curled tail briefly lowered. Then with a jig he went back to the mirror dance again. Jinkun's pinchers snapped together even faster and he half crawled out of the pocket, his tail catching the edge of it. Hisa stalled and turned his body. His tail almost looked like it waved good-bye, and then he crawled back down the front of her shawl. Jinkun slipped back into her pocket and then Hisa finally returned as well.

Hiiro stood there still staring in the mirror after they both had hidden themselves back away. An amused half smile inched up the corners of her lips and brightened her eyes. She shook her head in humored disbelief. Were scorpions supposed to be this way? Hadn't Keiji said they were dangerous not lighthearted?

Suddenly, her shoulder felt too light. Out of no where, sorrow suddenly washed over her as she remembered. _Kuro_

Like a flood, her loss of him came back in full. With a shaky breath, Hiiro put her head down as grief reared its ugly head up within her. She missed Kuro. He too had been that way: dangerous to others but everything to her!

Why did he have to vanish? Why couldn't he be here too? He had always been with her. He had always rocked her. And now he _wasn't_. The hole in her heart burned. Tears spilled out from her eyes, wetting the patch on the sink and the scarf about her neck. Silently, alone, Hiiro sobbed.

"_Kuro_." Why couldn't she have vanished with him?

"I'm sorry." She had caused it. In helping her, she had hurt him.

"Kuro."

_"Don't cry. I said stop! Jeeze, stop right now!" That tall man stood over her in panic. "Stop it! I'm back. See I'm back. We'll go back together. Just stop!" His massive arms waved about frantically as she sobbed._

_Sniffling, she glanced up._

_"Stop crying. Don't cry" He repeated. Water danced about them strangely._

_"Enough!" Birds fell out of the sky._

_Eyeing the dead feathered creatures, she rubbed the tears from her eyes and then bobbed her head in a nod._

Hiiro inhaled shakily. Her mind spun.

Who was that man? A parent? Relative? Family Friend? Kuro had to have been there too for it was him who made birds fall. Had Kuro been with this man first and then went to her or had this man given her Kuro?

Another shuttered breath exited Hiiro. Like when she was small, her tears had stopped. Like she had done when she was little, she wiped the tears from her eyes. She patted her scarf and rubbed eye patch until it was dry.

"I don't know if I'm closer to finding the Sandman, Kuro." Hiiro spoke as she placed the coverings back on, "But I'm trying… I'm trying."

Staring at herself who she still didn't know but was starting to recognize, Hiiro drew her hood up. Then she placed back on her gloves. With one last glance at the bright colors, Hiiro gave her own self a supportive nod before she exited.

The bathroom door shut with a slam-

*_Slam_*

_The door shut with a slam but her feet were already far past it, running. The small boy's blue eyes widened in surprise as she jumped excitedly. Her arms wrapped about his shoulders, her momentum driving them both back._

_Like a splash, sand flew up on all sides of them and settled back down. It prompted a laugh from her. Her friend laid there startled. His red hair was now dusty, his blue eyes surprised. She ungracefully rose, dusting the sand off her clothing and out of her hair._

_Without thinking, she gripped his hand and used all of her might and body to haul him up. Frail, he hauled up easy. The fatigue that had cemented itself under his eyes made him slow to say thank you, but she knew. He didn't have to say it, they were friends._

_"Swing again? Climb Rocks? Play with that ball!?" Her eyes jumped around the active playground. The well used and maintained swing waved invitingly. The rocks further out were obviously for a fort or game. And the ball. They should play ball!_

Hiiro blinked, her breath held.

Her mind wildly searched for any more hints to the boy with the blue eyes. He had been her friend when young. They had played together, frequently. She could clearly see his face- the only one she could remember. But what was his name? He had been sick, she knew that. But what else? Who else was there? Part of her felt there had been others there, but who? Racking her brain, her hand drifted up to her hair. She tugged up by her forehead before letting go.

With a new hope, her eyes glanced across the deteriorated park. Slowly she ambled around it not knowing where exactly to go. She looked at everything intently. She took in every detail in hopes another memory would surface.

Longing to know more, begging to know more, Hiiro didn't give up. She stared at the swing. _Swing again?_ Meaning she had sat here. He had sat here… Maybe if she sat on it again, she'd remember. Hiiro glanced uncertain at the old rusty chains and damaged board. Finally she turned about and slowly sat. The chains hugged her wide hips. Awkwardly she pushed herself backwards. Picking up her feet she let it slowly rock until it went still again. It creaked and groaned as if to protest her.

Twice Hiiro did this and then three times._ "Swing again"_ Her own child voiced words floated through her head, egging her on.

*_Whoosh_* *_Thud_* *_Clank_* Everything dropped. She dropped. A sudden jolt of pain sprung through her butt, legs, and right foot. Her body flinched as one of the chains whacked her harshly on her arm. The second hit her head.

Stunned and hurting. Hiiro froze taking in the pain. Her arm hurt, her head now throbbed. Her butt and right foot both protested-

The swing had broken.

She had broken it.

Embarrassment flushed through her in spades. Nervousness followed. Someone was going to be upset. She shouldn't be here! Clumsily stood, hurting. Her weight had broken it; she had broken it. Very aware of herself, Hiiro turned to look about with her single eye. Who else saw? Fear crept through her. What if she got kicked out because of this? What if this would cause the debt the sandman had to be null and void!? Who then would help her, if they knew that not only she was broken, but that she broke things.

Terrified of being caught Hiiro hurried away from the park. She slinked back into an alley, and went out to where the awnings were bright. Without looking back, she just kept walking. When she was nearly back at the hotel, Hiiro finally calmed and slowed.

No one was after her.

She wasn't in trouble...

Her breath soothed, parts of her definitely still hurt. She had definitely broken that swing... but nothing had happened. No one saw or if they did, they hadn't cared.

Stopping, she just breathed. Inhaling, she just stood there. Even though she felt empty, even though she had broken it, it was okay. In the shadow of the awning across from the Hotel, Hiiro just stood there. Her single eye eventually landed on the hotel entryway. Today there seemed to be new _strange_ people standing outside of it. Some with masks... A man with a painted face and hood walked in causing their bell to sound. Obviously more important traders had come. Hiiro watched as the men standing outside seemed to ask questions to those near the hotel. Gestures of 'I don't know', long points, and indications back to the hotel occurred.

Knowing she didn't know anything and wishing to avoid any more scenes for the day, Hiiro turned away from the hotel. She needed to wander more anyway. That seeded hope bloomed within her. The image of the little boy at the park popped back in her head. His dark circles, slow reactions-

"Like me." Hiiro blinked at that thought.

She walked abruptly into a stand she hadn't seen because of the eye-patch.

"Watch where you are going!" A voice outside of the line of her vision yelled.

"Sorry." She ducked and hurried along again. But her mind wasn't on that or the people around her, it was on the boy.

He had been like she was... Like her, like him, they both had dark circles under their eyes due to lack of sleep. She, like he had been, was drawn back; her body slow from the injuries and memory loss... So, maybe they both had been in the hospital together? She had maybe been paralyzed right? And when she came to Suna originally, she had been carried... Even now, she limped. Maybe not everything was from the attack. Maybe she had met this friend in the hospital. Maybe that's how they grew close, because they were the same!

But then Hiiro frowned. The hospital had already said they would not share records of patients. So how did this help?

And why hadn't Kuro mentioned her childhood friend? If he and her had been close, and Kuro always had been with her - why hadn't Kuro written his name? Why only the Sandman's?

_Like a splash, sand flew up on all sides of them and settled back down. It prompted a laugh from her. Her friend laid there startled. His red hair was now dusty, his blue eyes surprised. She ungracefully rose, dusting the sand off her clothing and out of her hair._

Hiiro blinked as her mind jumped back to that memory.

_Without thinking, she gripped his hand and used all of her might and body to haul him up. His hand was covered in sand. He felt like sand..._

Was her childhood friend the Sandman to Kuro?

_She touched the top of her head and then brought out towards him. It landed at his forehead, right below his red bangs. Bringing it back, she naturally brushed the grains of sand from him off on her clothes "Well, I'll grow." She had exclaimed in finding out she was shorter than him._

Her childhood friend had to have been the sandman!

He was the sandman!

But how to find him?

Hiiro glanced back to the hotel that still had people in front of it that were stopping those coming and going, asking questions. Should she ask around about him, like they were doing? A nervousness crept into Hiiro as she remembered people's looks. _No_.

Frowning, Hiiro turned to go down the street again. She needed to ask someone though right? But Keiji had business...

The Salt merchant and Ito sensei would know. Hiiro's mood lit up at that thought.

Plus her friend had lived by that one hotel. Short, red hair, light blue eyes, pale skin, had been sick with dark circles, needed medicine, felt like _sand_ \- how many kids had been like that? Hiiro could only think of one.

For some strange reason, maybe because she had actually slept, Hiiro couldn't help but to believe. Maybe, just maybe there was a little more than emptiness and a repeating, horrific, nightmare out there for her.

"Ito Sensei." Her voice rung out loud.

The cane using man slowly turned.

"Do you, do you know a boy with red hair? He-" And in one unstuttered word after another, she described everything she knew of him and everything she assumed. "Do you?"

Ito sensei's brows furrowed. There was only one that would maybe be around the same age as this woman with red hair, light teal eyes, dark circles, and a sand shield. But he was most certainly not sick as a child, though some might say he had been sick in the head with how he indiscriminately killed... and maybe the ninjas had given him medicine or some sort of drug to try to curb, but Ito sensei didn't know the Kazekage's full history. Still there were no others that matched the physical description and sand armor, other than Sabaku no Gaara, the current Kazekage.

It was impossible, but he could see life giving hope within her gaze and he knew first hand how important having some sort of irrefutable belief or hope was. But still... "You- are you sure?"

Not knowing what he was asking, Hiiro just bobbed her head. It had to be, she most definitely remembered her sick childhood friend. The one who had been in the hospital too, just had to be the sandman. She remembered how he felt and if not sick, how else would he have a debt?

...

* * *

...

**Salt Merchant: "Can't be"**

**Ito Sensei: "Who else?"**

**Salt Merchant: "But he wasn't sick. He didn't need medicine, he caused others to need it back then - assuming they _lived_."**

**Ito Sensei: "I know "**

**Salt Merchant: "And they couldn't have been friends, he didn't have any. I remember the stories. He would have killed her."**

**Ito Sensei: "I know, but still... who else fits that description?"**

**Salt Merchant: "Do you know how impossible this is? And how is she going to meet with him, I hear openings in his schedule are always months out if not further and require quite a bit of influence or money."**

**Ito Sensei: "I know."**

**Sat Merchant: *glares at his sensei***

**Ito Sensei: *Sighs* "Look at it this way, she'll keep that hope a little bit longer. I didn't tell her he was the Kazekage."**

**Salt Merchant: "Why not?"**

**Ito Sensei: *leans heavily on his cane* "Because then even she would realize it's not him... but sometimes all people really need is hope, even if it's unfounded. Maybe she'll find what she's really looking for long before she too realizes that it isn't him."**

**Salt Merchant: *crosses arms and gives a nod of approval* "And this is why you are Sensei."**

_..._

* * *

_..._

**All** \- Last questions on how to do diversty and thoughts on this story still apply.

**And **what do you think will happen next? How will our two react for meeting for the first time? Can Gaara come to terms with what guilt he feels for Yumi's situation? Will Hiiro learn who she was? Can she even accept such an unfathomable thing? Will it crush her to find out they weren't childhood friends or do you think the Kazekage might just let her believe that for a little longer?

What are your thoughts on how this could go or what our favorite characters reactions may be. Maybe Kankuro will play an important role?

Also who else is excited for when someone finally realizes that Salt Hiiro, Minawa Yumi, is nonchalantly carrying around two very poisonous, very fatal scorpions as cute little pocket companions? Like uummmmmmmmm-seriously? No wonder Kurokawa died young! lol Who all thinks those two are going to cause riot, initiate surprise attack, or simply secretly keep hanging about Hiiro just for fun and entertainment's sake?


	14. Chapter 14: Sabaku no Gaara, the Sandman

**Ladyktbaby - **I'm probably more excited you caught up then you are! ^_^ Loved all the reviews, sooooooo made my week. I can't tell you anything on your theories (hate to give things away), but to the why no one suspected Gaara as Sandman... Welllll it may have gone like this:

_Keiji:_ "So in Suna we'll see if anyone knows you?"

_Hiiro: _*Nods head with Kuro on shoulder*

_Keiji:_ "Where should we start?"

_Hiiro:_ *glances to Kuro* "The sandman-"

_Kuro:_ *Immediately hisses with spikes in all directions - How dare his Not-death speak more of that horrible man than him!*

_Hiiro:_ *immediately corrects* "Kuro knows*

_Kuro:_ *Uses up the last of his energy... "Oh shit-" "No Choice" "Go to sandman" *makes note to kill Sandman in the afterlife*

_Hiiro:_ *Sorrow, who cares about the Sandman without Kuro*

_Keiji:_ *Pats Hiiro's head* "It's okay, it will end up being okay"

_Sand people pop up and indicate she's from Suna_

_Hiiro:_ "I'm from suna? I'm from suna!"

_Keiji_: "so back to seeing if anyone knows you?"

_Hiiro_: "Is that possible?"

_Keiji_: "Well there's missing persons..."

_Hiiro_: *Nods head. Desperately clings to thought that she's from Suna.*

_Hiiro and Keiji reach Suna- Hiiro remembers_

_Hiiro_: "My family is traders!"

_Keiji_: "We can check the trade groups."

_Hiiro_: "I had a childhood friend from the hospital."

_Keiji_: "We can try the hospital."

_Hiiro_: "I can't find anyone..."

_Keiji:_ "We are trying everything. You mentioned a sandman once?"

_Hiiro_: *Nods* "He owed me a debt."

_Keiji_: "Well... check debt books?"

Although it didn't help that Hiiro kinda avoided most conversation with others... And, if she had sand man and debt with no other information, she probably would have been directed to one of the many other Suna businesses because how could their Kazekage owe a strange civilian girl a debt especially since she didn't say it was the Kazekage.

Anyway, I've really really really really loved your reviews. So you probably now get the longest reply I've given in a loooonnnnnngg while. :)

* * *

**All**** \- Hope you enjoy this chapter. I really hope it feels authentic. I wanted to make it lighter but it kept turning out like this... But! It is the moment we are all waiting for and things can only get better from here. I hope, rriiigggghhhhtttt? *glances to Hiiro and then into the underworld at 39* **

**Number 39: *S_miles*_**

**Welll... Anyway... Hope you all enjoy this chapter too!**

**\- Rain *_ducks and runs frantically away from 39_***

**...**

* * *

...

"I wish to know the best actions and risks." In a firm stance, the Kazekage blocked the medical office door. The two most respected Suna Medical doctors Fujimoto Kimiko and Saruwatari Kyou inspected him carefully on the other side.

"Kazekage-Sama while the samples that were tested match, we cannot-" Fujimoto's sentence died as pale teal eyes narrowed upon her. With a sigh, the short elder glanced away, out the window, their only escape. Not that escaping the Kazekage was ever possible.

With a nod, she decided. "Kazekage-sama, under the likelihood it's an imposture we should rerun all physical tests: blood draw, hair, saliva. As well as utilize mental interrogation techniques."

The room dropped fifty degrees as the man before them glared even more coldly, "And if it is her? Would _these techniques_ add even more harm?"

Saruwatari looked at Fujimoto and then at a book. Fujimoto stared back and then looked at something on the desk. The two long working cohorts silently conversed through their eye movements. If time wasn't of the importance, Gaara would maybe be impressed.

"Kankuro reported he's found where they are staying, I need to know how to proceed to not cause any more harm nor take a risk. You have the write up from the rural Tea Country Doctor, is this not sufficient enough for you two of your caliber to make a recommendation or do I need to look into restructuring and retraining Suna Medical?" His sand felt itchy. If this was a direct attack, he would know what to do. If this was a political move, he'd be able to navigate it. But this was a health and specifically, potentially a mind issue, things he had little expertise on.

He could not hurt her more. How ever she was, he'd accept it. How ever he needed to act to not add further harm, he'd do it. All his ultimate defense and what had he done for her? Left her without it!

The lips of Saruwatari's face twitched as he tried to hold back a grimace, "Kazekage-sama. If we assume that this is Minawa-san-"

Fujimoto's head snapped to the doctor immediately, his own look back to her silenced any words, if she was even going to speak. Turning back to the Kazekage, Saruwatari continued, "If we assume that this is Minawa-san and take into account Doctor Matsuoka Shuzo's notes as well as Leader Kankuro's notes from Matsuoka Jun's recounts, then there may be a case for treading lightly. In ninja protocol, if a nina loses their memory on a mission, their teammates are to tell them everything as quickly as possible. However, again if we assume this is Minawa-san and the noted observations and doctors notes are all true, then caution needs to be the utmost. An amnesia patient that has undergone significant trauma, not only does not remember themselves but may also disassociate from themselves It's generally advised to not fill in all the memories for them nor tell them anything that may be too hard for them to accept. For example, if I were to lose all my memories and no longer have the information and skill that I do, then you telling me that I'm a doctor would cause my memory loss self distress and may cause me to fight that notion because my memory loss self does not see themselves capable of being such, thus their mind will reject it or worse, cause panic or pain."

"Doctor Matsuoka's report has her physical skill set less than a civilian, are you saying if I tell her she's a Jieti-erito-"

Saruwatari frowned, "without seeing her reactions first hand, it's hard to know. But from what the doctor's wife told Kankuro, it's highly likely she'd either ignore that idea completely, go into an anxiety attack, or lose trust with you because she'll view what it as a lie. You must understand, Kazekage, that if she does not remember herself and if she does not have the skillset, then it is the equivalent of me telling you that you are not the Kazekage but that last year you were an eccentric, outgoing, male dancer apart of an acrobatic troupe and that you performed shirtless with ribbons while entertaining all and bringing in crowds with your theatrics and singing voice."

A sour look crossed Gaara's face. The doctor could have at least picked something realistic as the example, not some farcical fangirl fantasy.

"That description, you don't see yourself as and most definitely seem fictitious and impossible, but that will be how it is to Minawa if it is her and she suffers from trauma related amnesia along with the loss of her physical abilities. The reports and notes are accurate for how one does often act from such a tragedy."

Frustration ground into the Kazekage. Did the Death God do this too or was it because the Shinigami had gone against nature itself by bringing her back to life? Closing his eyes, he released those feelings. He couldn't change the past. He, with his own past, knew that far too well. He could only move forward from here. Like the path to becoming Kazekage and changing Suna's opinions of him, this he too would work through one step at a time.

Still his frown deepened, "So what is the best course of action?"

Fujimoto sighed, "get her here with as little distress and information as possible so we can confirm."

"If you wish to assume it's her, then I would be careful. Try to act normal. Any cues she gives you go along with, but don't completely lie to her. For example, if my memory loss self remembers that doctor information but believes I am a vet because I remember working with animals. Then Fujimoto could just let it slide until maybe I tried to perform surgery on a animal. But if I have a memory of Fujimoto and I eating breakfast together, because of night shifts I do not remember, and I assume we are married - she should correct me but maybe offer to be my friend or eat breakfast with me again. Understand?"

Solemnly, he met the two doctor's gazes. "Yes. Do you?"

"We will work as if we assume it's her." Fujimoto lowered her head in a respected bow, closing her eyes briefly. She had been the one that told them all Yumi certainly had died that it had been impossible for her to have survived.

"Good." With a stiff nod, Gaara turned.

Heavy footsteps sounded down the hall as Gaara walked. His mind analyzed and began to try to piece together some sort of strategy. Contrary to mission protocol, they said not to tell her everything. He frowned at the thought of how much she lost. It hurt. His sand burned to go to her, to wrap around her and coat in protection like she _should_ have been.

His shoes stepped out the ninja hospital's front door. The sun, as always, pressed unmeasurable heat down. Glancing in the direction of the training yard that he still needed to visit this week and his office that had papers waiting for him, he headed out.

With two fingers, he covered his eye.

Kankuro stood outside of a well known travelers hotel. He was speaking to someone animatedly. Sumido Keiji?

Disconnecting the vision, the Kazekage wrapped sand about himself and pooled it under his feet. Effortless it lifted him. Wind brushed his garments and uncombed his hair.

"Look it's the Kazekage!" "Greetings Kazekage!" "Kazekage!" Men, women, children's' voices mixed as they called up at sight of him. Today he didn't have time to stop and walk through.

_Act normal_, Saruwatari's words whispered in his head.

_After she's found_, Gaara answered. His sand sped up.

Kankuro noticed him immediately. His sand floated down, sliding him towards the ground. With a graceful step he transitioned onto the ground. "Kankuro, progress."

"Tsk," His brother clicked his tongue in frustration. "They are staying here but not here now. I have a canvas of the area and a potential position for where Sumido is. So maybe an hour more?"

Gaara scanned the hotel and then the street. He looked for her charcoal hair, her forest green eyes, _smile_\- No. He closed his eyes. _Mismatched eyes, one blind,_ he corrected himself. Maybe no smile… _and that's fine. As long as she's fine, how ever she is will be fine._ He ground those thoughts into his bones.

She lived, that's all that mattered.

"Kazekage-sama," His brother held a strange expression.

Gaara frowned at the tone.

Kankuro stepped close to him so not to be overheard, "this may be easier if you are not here. You're drawing a crowd which will make it harder to find them."

The Kazekage eyed the Puppet Master carefully, "I had hoped you already found him, and her."

"We are working on it. I will contact you as soon as we do. But don't you think it'd be easier for us to convince them to visit you. That way there's no scene, just in case" He whispered even lower, "some of my nin are certain this is a scam."

"There won't be a scene, _Kankuro_."

"I know, but others want proof. Do you wish everyone to witness any exchanges there are? Or rather us just go quietly so few know until there's no way it can be refuted." Kankuro leaned back to carefully study his younger brother.

Gaara closed his eyes. The doctor's description echoed within him again, _it's highly likely she'd either ignore that idea completely, go into an anxiety attack, or lose trust with you. _"We should be discrete," he conceded.

Kankuro nodded.

"_Find her_."

"Yes. We will. Count on me." Kankuro's eyes were without doubt and insecurity.

"I do." Gaara nodded and began to turn away. Midstep he glanced back, "thank you."

Kankuro nodded again and bowed.

This time Gaara walked. Sitting, doing paperwork seemed frivolous when his mind was here. He knew these streets, this district of Suna. In fact, a few blocks from here was where he used to play. _Where he had taken Yumi to play_.

His feet lead him there.

It was abandoned. The bathrooms decrypted. Drinking fountain was obviously broken. The goal was bent up and broken. The swing he had once sat on long agon, fallen. With a silent sigh, Gaara walked up to it. Two of its chains had slowly worked themselves open with time and use.

In thought, Gaara stared at it. He should get this place fixed up. Maybe rename it after his uncle. Somberly he raised his hand, calling sand out with it. The desert grains lifted the swing and chains. Discarding the broken links, he reattached it securely. Then with a few more motions he pressed sand into the damaged seat board. It wasn't new, but at least it was now fixed.

In silence, he turned back and walked across the empty yard. Again his hands worked. He up-righted the goal. While still broken, he put it closer to something that could still work if anyone wanted to. Then back at the bathrooms, with a sweep of his arm, he cleared the sand from the fountain, off the platform that was supposed to be stairs, and fixed the men's sign.

"Sabaku no Gaara" A faint woman's voice sounds from the bathroom.

The Kazekage paused his actions. He was not in the mood for stumbling upon a fangirl.

"Sabaku no Gaara," it repeated, making it an easy decision for him. He turned and began to walk silently away- "You owe a debt-"

His feet stopped and eyes slid sideways. His mind flipped through any transgressions including his brother's. Did Kankuro again promise some woman a date with him? Annoyance twisted lethally within him. Today was not the day for something like that-

"Sabaku no Gaara. Do you, do you remember when we were kids?"

His teal eyes widened. Was this someone he hurt? Was she looking for repentance from him or retribution, payment, and revenge?

His gaze cooled to a slow burn. No matter how many years had passed, his bloody past always seemed to come up again. But he didn't have time for this now-

_No_, Gaara corrected. If this woman found him later, then Yumi might be around then. The doctors had stated that she might not trust him and having someone seeking revenge on him while she was there would definitely make that worse, or maybe risk her.

He wouldn't do that.

Determined to resolve this now. Gaara stepped off to the side and waited for the woman to come out. If she wanted to attack him, he'd take it. He would not lay his life down, but he knew there had been many he had killed the relatives of…

Hiiro having reapplied the lotion, put back on her scarf, eye patch, and gloves. She popped her hood up and for good practice, she said his name again, "Sabaku no Gaara." And then again, "Sabaku no Gaara."

Ito-Sensei had given her that. He had said he didn't talk to him nor interact with him, so she'd have to find him. But now, she had a name, "Sabaku no Gaara."

With a huge inhale, Hiiro stepped out. The wood creaked but it was the swing that caught her single eyes attention. It was up!

Stepping forward, she half tripped but caught herself. At her feet were stairs...

Her mind double took. Had there been stairs before or even in her memory? And she most certainly had broken the swing, but now it was fixed. Did things just get fixed here, that easy? Did stairs just randomly pop up?

Gaara watched as the hooded woman walked forward completely oblivious to him. She limped slightly, her long skirt swaying with each partial step. He tried to remember all of the girls he had injured, if her limp was even caused by him.

Hiiro shook her head. Her hand went to the bracelet on her wrist. She had other things to do then stare at the swing. "Sabaku no Gaara."

"Yes." A male voice replied, driving a stake down Hiiro's spine.

Gaara watched her pivot all the way around. Immediately he realized why he hadn't been seen, she had an eye patch covering the side he had stood on. All of her was covered, her hood so far over her head he couldn't make out the one eye that she was staring at him with.

And Hiiro just stared. _Red hair_. Her brain paused. _Light-blue teal eyes_. It grinded. _Pale_. It just stopped, _Dark circles_...

"You are looking for me?" He spoke to her.

And Hiiro just stared.

All the practicing in the mirror and she just stood there. He looked different. Taller. Older. Less _frail_. Confusion wrapped through her.

"I'm different than I was." Gaara decided to speak. "If you are seeking payment for what I've done-" her head bobbed up and down. "You should know you will find little. I've changed. I won't deny how I was or make light of it, but I won't be blackmailed."

Stress and further confusion coursed through Hiiro immediately. He had a debt! Kuro had said! She was from here, and he said he would help her! "Kuro," her voice strained, broke through. "Kuro… Kuro said," Hiiro felt faulted, but she still trusted Kuro. This man had to be wrong, he had a debt. "Kuro said you have debt. I remember _that_. You.. you're… you are the sand man. We played together. You were sick. You didn't like your medicine. I would sneak out and we played here. My family was traders and you had a debt. Kuro, Kuro said you'd help cause you have to pay your debt."

Anxiety coiled through her soul. Her hand went to the bracelet and then into her hair, then back to her skirt where Hisa and Jinkun were. Their small bodies touched her.

Gaara stood frozen. He couldn't breathe. _Kuro. We played together. I snuck out._ Her tone held distress; her hand had gone under her hood. Even though he couldn't see it, he saw Yumi push back her hair. He saw her green eyes anxious as if they were talking about, "_Salt_."

That iron that had driven into her spine was pounded into again. "Y-yes."

Gaara's shocked gaze soothed. "Salt," he tried again, "Salt Hiiro?"

Hiiro bobbed her head up and down. "And… and you… you're Sabaku no Gaara, the Sandman?" Nervousness fluttered through her. He didn't answer right away so Hiiro elaborated, "Ito-sensei told, told me your name."

Hesitant, Gaara knew he shouldn't ask. And yet, he did. "Do you remember _me_?"

The way he said _me_, made Hiiro shake her head no. But then she bobbed it yes, "F-f-five and six."

His gaze clouded over in thought. She could feel him inspect her and suddenly Hiiro wished she had even more layers on. What if he said she was wrong? What if he didn't remember her… but he knew her name.

_Kuro_, Hiiro begged, missing him. Loneliness and emptiness seeped even deeper into her soul. Her gaze fell. Of course she wasn't enough. Of course she was wrong...

"Would you," Gaara paused, "be okay coming with me?"

_Huh_? Hiiro's head raised.

"I'd like you to come with me." He repeated seeing her standing there unmoving. "If you don't feel comfortable, is there someone you feel comfortable with?"

"You." Her voice caught Gaara's heart.

_Him. _His heart repeated; _he_ made her feel comfortable.

"You-" she spoke again, "know me."

Slowly, carefully, Gaara nodded.

"You-", again she held hesitancy that felt almost foreign. Almost- only because he had seen how she had been when she had first mentioned her ability. Even different, this side of her he knew. "-want me to come with you?"

Gaara nodded again. Part of him wanted to just wrap his sand around them both and take her Fujimoto and Saruwatari, but he heeded their warning. He did not want to cause her anymore distress nor mistrust.

Elation for the first time, floated through her. And then she remembered Keiji. "I… I… Keiji… Lucky Dune at seven… He… he was helping me look for- for you." Embarrassment strangely flushed through her. She, incompetent, hadn't found him. But he, he had found her.

"Alright." Gaara replied easily. "We'll meet him there."

For the first time since she turned to him, her head lifted all the way up. He could see her forest green eye gazing mesmerized back at him. Her eye patch held a beautiful embroidery pattern. The same stitch work was on the tail end of her scarf, a section of pocket. It was scattered about her clothing; a style completely different than how she wore before.

But it was her. It was still her.

Hiiro felt her head bob, yes. In a daze she walked forward towards him. He was taller than his six year old self, older. His hair combed to the side. His gaze not so lost. His stance not so frail. His skin tone seemed less pale, more healthy. Had he healed? She wanted to ask if he was okay. If he was still sick. But her throat and mouth held still as she stared.

Sand twirled around them, and her jaw under the scarf opened in a gasp as it pooled under their feet. She watched it form. She sharply inhaled as the ground slowly fell away. A hand touched her back and Hiiro looked back up.

"It's faster this way." His voice was smooth as his teal eyes stared at her as if she actually existed. If she wasn't just a ghost passing through some undead nightmare.

Swallowing, Hiiro just dumbly nodded. Carefully, oh so carefully, with tiny steps and nervous stance, she inched just a bit closer to him. Below them were _buildings_. The people she could see looked so small. If she fell from here she'd surely die, or worse, be found out and buried alive. Nervous, she crept again, just a little bit closer to him.

Gaara noticed her uncertain movements. "I won't let you fall."

Risking that it wouldn't be unwanted or distressful, he moved his hand to be better around her. She didn't wrap her own about him like Yumi would have done, nor blush embarrassed, nor tilt her head fully towards him with those expressive green eyes… And she felt wider than Yumi had been and far more unsteady on her feet. A strange feeling of alienation flushed through him as she _felt like a different person_ next to him.

Suddenly the image of his defaced, unrecognizable desk popped into his mind- _Debtor_, _debtor, debtor._ The carved jagged, violent, lines repeated the word indefinitely. Eggs, plates, mirrors, cups had all cracked at his touch. The windows vibrated sending a undesert-like chill of death down all. Tiny words painted in dripping red, like blood, were also scribbled upon them. _Owe_. _Pay. _Any fogged window and letters would again appear slowly as if long clawed fingers were drawing them out individually- _Time to Pay, twice pay._

At the memory, a chill went through the Kazekage and unconsciously he held Yumi a little closer. With a firm mental brush, he shoved the feeling of something unknown stalking him back and returned to the present.

How ever Yumi was, if this was how she would be, then it was fine. He had become a demon and then changed to become a part of a village; this, this he could do too. Something in him told him he had to.

As the sand landed, Hiiro felt herself falling. Her feet had not stepped like his, instead they touched the unmoving ground solidly but the rest of her kept moving forward.

The arm about her tightened. She felt it keep her upright and pause to wait for her as she regained balance.

"You good?" His smooth voice asked outside of her sight line.

Dumbly her head just nodded. She wasn't falling now, but she didn't know where she was, what they were doing, who she was, why he didn't look the same…

"Okay." The arm that had held her and kept her safe _left_.

Hiiro silently swallowed as the emptiness swirled within her. A nervousness ticked up as she stared at unfamiliar doors.

"This way," He stepped forward into her sight.

Two steps behind, she followed. Her eye inspected his back. His red short hair held perfectly down, only a few pieces popped out of place near the base of his neck. It was tucked or combed back, behind his rounded ears that she could see. Unlike her who still limped, he walked with slow, dominate, long strides. His shoulders squarely forward. The long sleeve jacket with upright collar was well stitched, perfectly holding up, accenting the angles of his frame. About his waist, not through the loopholes of his wide legged pants, was a double belt. A gourd was wrapped in it. The light movement of his fingers of his relaxed hand at his side caught her attention. They were curled, brushing against themselves.

_Her hand pulled back from his forehead. He was taller, she felt herself mentally pout. Her fingers brushed together feeling the sand that he had gotten on them, then they brushed it onto her clothes. _

Hiiro watched his hand. She couldn't see any sand, but did he feel it? Was that what he was doing like she had done-

*Thud* In the darkness of her left side, something hit her or she hit it.

Briefly weightless she fell, but there was no second thud. Instead security wrapped around her and so very unlike what normally would happen, Hiiro was still upright.

Confused and still waiting for the rest of the fall, Hiiro just blinked. Sabaku no Gaara had spun about and was now facing her. His sky blue eyes studied her without judgement and then looked to her left. If she hadn't been staring only at him, she wouldn't have noticed how his lip just slightly turned down into a frown at whatever was beside her.

"Ah, I'm sorry." A male's voice from her left sprung out, reminding Hiiro that something had hit her or her it.

Turning her head, she took the slightest side step to better see.

A triple tier medical cart with a short young man behind it stood inches from her.

"I didn't see you and it seems like you didn't see me." The young man embarrassingly came around the cart and bowed. "I'm sorry," He sprung back up and his gaze brushed up and down her. "You weren't hurt?"

Hiiro's head automatically went side to side.

"That's good." The young man beamed and then glanced to her _grown_ childhood friend. "Ah, Kazekage-sama." He bowed.

Hiiro studied him. _Kazekage_. She had heard that word before but couldn't quite place it.

Sabaku no Gaara turned his head back to her, his teal gaze again studying her like the young man's had, "you okay?"

Again her head lightly bobbed up and down silently. Her single eye staring at him who she _didn't _remember. _Kazekage, _her mind fruitlessly turned that word over.

"Okay," He replied and stepped such that he disappeared into the darkness on her left side.

"Let's go," That arm that hadn't let her fall on his sand, gently touched her back. With the slightest of pressure, he indicated they should walk so she did. His long graceful steps seemed to match her pace from the sound, but his shuffled and mis-stepped significantly _less_. Again that feeling of unfamiliarity passed through her- _Hadn't they been the same?_ They had met in the hospital, _right_? The flutter of nerves became a hard twist of anxiety. Slightly Hiiro inhaled. No, they had met in the hospital, she reaffirmed. Kuro trusted him, she repeated. He owed a debt. He'd help her.

Gaara had slowed his pace to hers. And even though he wasn't sure if his touch was welcome to her, he couldn't seem to move his hand. She was clumsier than before - with the stairs in the park, getting off his sand, here… _No_, he corrected his observation, _not clumsier_. She was slower in how she moved and significantly less coordinated. The report that she had less than average civilian strength and agility was definitely true.

"_She's not as agile as I thought she would be…"_ Matsuri's voice floated in his head from back when they were in the past.

_He strangely stood there with her and his uncle, watching his six year old self and the five year old Yumi play. His childhood self awkwardly ran-jogged-walked to the ball and then stopped. _

_He had wondered if he, at this age, even knew how to play it since normally others ran away._

_His small self finally kicked. The little Yumi's eyes went wide watching it. She ran forward. Without any attempt to stop, get out of the way, or kick- her and the ball just collided, hard! _

"_Oaf!" Her small body landed on her back, again with not even an attempt to catch herself. _

_Instantly she bounded back up. Shaking, sand cleaned itself off her. With equally awkward steps, she lined up and kicked the ball in the utterly complete wrong direction. He frowned at the sight, surprised at how uncoordinated she was. _

"_Sorry!" She called to the childhood him. Both her and himself went that towards the ball._

"_She's not as agile as I thought she would be…" Matsuri muttered out loud enough for both him and his Uncle to hear. He side eyed her, according to their story they were supposed to be her family so they needed to at least pretend they knew she was like this! Luckily his uncle hadn't caught on, too surprised that he, his childhood self, was also so awkwardly discoordinated - Not that anyone had played ball with him before, Gaara annoyingly thought._

Gaara glanced to the hood beside him. Could she take his chakra and heal herself? Even if she didn't remember doing something like that before, she might be able to just do it naturally. The five year old her had- that's why his sand when it attacked had fallen, _harmlessly_.

He stared, taking in her hood and clothing. He didn't like it. Her hood, shawl, scarf, long sleeves, long skirt, eye patch- he couldn't see her.

Luckily they were here. His steps stopped and she followed suit. He knocked on both their offices. He had informed them to be on standby.

Both doors opened. They glanced to him and then the layered woman next to him. His hand was still on her back- He let it fall as their gazes changed to understanding at who this person was.

"Medical Senior Nin Doctor Fujimoto Kimiko," He pointed to the short elder female doctor.

"And Senior Doctor, Saruwatari Kyou," he indicated to the taller, also old, male doctor.

"You must be," Saruwatari spoke and then glanced to him to confirm, he nodded. "Salt Hiiro."

Hiiro immediately nodded.

"Do you mind if we look you over dear, we read your letter that you were in an accident and have amnesia?"

Her hooded head shook no, then bobbed yes, then cocked. "I-" Her voice hesitated, "I… I don't mind. I… don't remember, _how I got hurt_." She went really quiet. "I… I… don't remember _anything_."

Hiiro swallowed wishing the world would just swallow her up too. Her heart beat heavily in her chest as her lungs began to tighten. She didn't know these two either. She didn't know anything, except she did- Needing that familiarity, her voice sounded on its own. "I… I… remembered Sabaku no Gaara, wh-wh-en he was sick."

Both their gazes changed, their expressions extremely shielded. They glanced to the _man_ she _didn't_ remember as if to question. Hiiro felt her heart clench and anxiety began to bore itself into her bones. She turned her whole head to look at him who had her childhood friend's red hair, his light teal eyes, pale skin, _sand_, "We pl-played together as kids. _Right?"_

Gaara studied what little of her he could see. He heard her anxiety, it was identical to how her voice had twisted when she talked of Salt. He knew this part of her, he knew her… even different, he knew this was her. "Yes," he answered confidently.

The single forest green eye that had stared at him in apprehension lightened into warm. Her scarf moved just slightly as her cheeks raised up. Was she smiling, trying to smile, _less anxious_? He couldn't tell but even so he purposefully nodded his head at her and then turned back to the two doctors, "What she's said is correct." He informed them very clearly- hadn't they been the ones that told him to sometimes go with her assumptions even if they were a little off so not to cause further harm?

"Alright. How about you come with me first? I'd like to ask you a few questions, get to know you a bit okay? Let's step into my office." A tone Gaara had not heard from Saruwatari, came from the doctor. Gaara watched as the man grinned at Yumi that stood next to him. He wanted to narrow his eyes in suspicion of the overly sugar coated voice, but for her he didn't.

As the doctor opened his door further, invitingly, she did not move from his side. Gaara glanced at her, finding himself still unable to see through the hood. Saruwatari who could probably see into the hood better, waited.

"I-I-I don't _know_ anything," from the back of her throat she replied, her feet still unmoving.

Kindly Saruwatari smiled, "that's okay. I've worked and helped many amnesia patients."

"...really?"

The elder medical doctor nodded.

Still she didn't move forward, instead her head turned again to look at him. Now, Gaara could see the only forest green eye she had exposed. Her gaze studied his own, except hers was filled with questions he couldn't translate.

"We'll inform the Kazekage when everything is done." Saruwatari answered for him, causing her head to whip away and back towards the doctor.

"_The_ _Kazekage_" This time the back-of-the-throat-tone was like how Yumi would say the word _seal_. Distrust, disgust, and disturbance were all quietly folded into it. He knew the twisted, bothered, animated expression Yumi would be making right now, if she was the same.

"I'll be waiting here." Gaara corrected, torn. She wasn't the same. Was this why Kurokawa from beyond the grave had called upon him to pay the debt of not killing him? Not that this was much of a payment. For her, he would have done this anyway. For her, he'd figure out how he needed to be and accept how ever she was.

Her head turned towards him again, relief clearly reflected in her gaze. Silently she nodded and then back to Saruwatari she agreed, "o-o-kay." She nodded to the elder as well and finally stepped forward.

The door closed behind her as she stood in yet another unfamiliar, foreign room. She didn't like the idea of _questions_. Questions she couldn't ever answer. With Jun it was okay, with Keiji she'd just be silent, but here, here that's what he mentioned he specifically wanted. _Questions_.

The compounded feelings within her began to churn again. What could she even answer? _Nothing_. Empty shells were nothing.

"Here, sit here." He brought around a nice chair and sat it so that she could see both the other chair and the window.

Slowly Hiiro shuffled across the floor. Mutely and timidly she complied with his request. Her skirts tightened about her hips and folded with her knees. Her hood ruffled as she leaned back. Carefully she brought her gloved hands together, her left went to the bracelet on her right.

Kuro didn't say what to do after she was in Suna and found the Sandman…

"Would you mind telling me your name?" He picked up word filled papers, a notebook, and pen.

Hiiro stared at him. _She didn't know her name_.

"What do you want me to call you?" Kindly he asked, and then paused. "Or would you like me to tell you the name you were before."

Hiiro's mind paused. He… he knew her? Her gaze narrowed on him. She studied his hair, the creases of his face, the way his hands were ready to record in his lap, how his legs crossed as he sat in the chair. Like everyone else, he was a stranger. Yet another person she either didn't remember or didn't know.

But... her mind ticked. He knew her? Hiiro frowned, "You… you _know _me?"

She never met another person who knew her, except Sabaku no Gaara and he had called her Salt Hiiro. Hearing those two words, her name, from his lips, had felt like solace, like she wasn't so lost and broken.

He smiled and gave a slight nod, "we met."

And then he let the silence between them pass. Hiiro mulled on his words. If they only met, then it was okay she didn't remember him… And didn't she want to know her name? Except, it had felt good to hear her childhood friend call her Salt Hiiro. What if, what if this name of hers, she also didn't remember? What if it was like everything else? What if it was nothing to her?

Suna, she had finally remembered and the sandman- but she couldn't remember his debt. She couldn't remember why the moon hated her. She didn't even know what foods and teas she had liked; Jun had helped her with that. Her mind scattered as she thought, unsure and yet-

"You know my name?" Hiiro hesitantly repeated. She wanted to know, but more than that she wanted to remember.

He nodded, "would you like me to tell you or would you like to keep going by Salt Hiiro… Or I could tell you and you go go by that or Salt Hiiro or both. Whatever is comfortable for you."

Without looking at his notebook, he made a few notes.

Torn, she replied. "I'd like to know."

"Okay, but, uh-" he paused, "would you mind taking down your hood and scarf? If it's uncomfortable for you, you can leave them up. But I'd like to be able to see you." He smiled again, the cadence of his speech purposefully slow and soothing.

Dumbly Hiiro nodded. Her right hand brought down her hood, her left the scarf, and then together she took off the eye patch. It was easier to see with both eyes than just the one. Placing those in her shawl pocket, she then decided to take off her gloves. Carefully she looked up at him, ready to see the shock and disgust.

"Thank you," He had no negative nor attracted expression, it was just soothing. "So your name from before is Minawa Yumi."

Hiiro heard it. _Minawa Yumi_.

She tried to connect with it. _Minawa Yumi_.

As if it was someone else's name, she repeated it in her head. It too felt nothing. Minawa Yumi- no memories came to mind.

"I'm… Minawa Yumi?" She restated back just to make sure. Confusion turned over within her, shouldn't that feel familiar, _sound_ familiar.

"Yes, but you can go by Salt Hiiro too."

Hearing what she did recognize felt a bit better so immediately she just, again, nodded.

* * *

Gaara worked in the waiting area outside of their offices. Every ninja, doctor, staff member, and visitor that passed did a double take of their Kazekage sitting in a medical waiting area. Sighing, he ignored them, certain he was going to hear it from the council over this. Someone was going to say that he was dying, waiting on a pregnancy report, or some other cockamamy idea he couldn't fathom because he couldn't understand how in the world they came up with such fiction.

"_It is the equivalent of me telling you that you were an eccentric, outgoing, male dancer, part of an acrobatic troupe and that you performed shirtless with ribbons while entertaining all and bringing in crowds with your theatrics and singing voice." _ The doctor's example of how Yumi might feel popped back up in his head.

He had seen how she reacted to hearing the word _Kazekage_, would finding out that they were _close_, that he loved her be equally fictitious to her as him being a singing, half dressed male ribbon dancer was to him?

Abruptly Gaara put down the paper in ire at that image of himself - Did Saruwatari subscribe to the same fanfiction as the women, girls, trans, and some gay men that fanned over him? That description… it was way too much!

Bothered and unable to do anything for Yumi, the Kazekage went back to reading. He quickly worked and amended the reports. Time clicked by quickly as half of his mind wondered how she was and the other half stayed focused on the job literally held in his hand.

"Ah," Saruawatari Kyou slipped out of his office and shut his door. He gave a knock onto Fujimoto Kimiko's. Then both doctors were out and before him, again. "So I am done and it's as I assumed," He glanced to the Kazekage, "she not only truly has amnesia, it is trauma based. So she does disassociate and while she's very passive right now, I believe that strong emotions or intake of information may overwhelm her. And I don't recommend bringing up Kuro, the little creature, unless she does-"

"_Why_?" Threat pierced itself into the Kazekage's tone. What did that bastard shinigami do to her now?

"Because he passed on the way here and she's still very much grieving over it."

Regret flushed through Gaara at his own response. He shouldn't have been so quick to wish to blame that creature, even though her state had to his fault for going against nature. With a nod, telling himself that he needed to be better, for her, he agreed.

"So I'll bring her out and then it's your turn for physical examination." The one doctor turned to the other.

"Okay, anything else I should know?" Fujimoto asked and gained a head shake.

"Don't hurt her." Gaara added firmly.

The doctor immediately met his harsh stare with one of her own, "I am a medical doctor first, _Kazekage_."

He nodded but did not back down.

"Oh, one more thing. I did convince her to remove her hood and scarf. She is how she was in the photo although the scars are slowly fading as she's been purposefully tending to them and keeping them out of the sun. It seems she wears that to not cause disturbance to others, so I ask you both to try to shield your reactions to how she looks or be positive."

"Not an issue, she's not the first patient I've worked with who has suffered extreme injury and disfigurement." Fujimoto, already insulted by the Kazekage, folded her arms in a confident stance. She was no novice!

"Kazekage?" Saruawatari met the leader's complicated gaze. "It may be better that you don't see her like this, just yet- since you are certain it's her and you two were-" "I told her I'd wait, I'm staying. Do you believe that the Kazekage's unreadable sand mask is just an expression?"

For the second time, or maybe it was third now, Gaara found a threat laced into his own tone as he prickled at the accusation. He would _not_ react negatively to Yumi. Whatever she had been through, however she looked, however she was, even if she never recovered further, would be fine- it was fine. She lived, which was more than he had believed and hoped a month ago.

"Alright." The medical doctors both gave him a strange look before turning back.

"Salt," Gaara instantly cued in on the name Saruawtari used. "You can go with Fujimoto now, she's ready for you. It's just going to be a physical check up to see how your injuries are doing. Doctor Matsuoka Shuzo did an excellent job helping you in Tea Country but you had a long journey here so we just want to double check how your condition is."

Gaara carefully listened in. He noted how the doctor _inaccurately _but kindly explained what was occurring. From the man's words, he knew the doctor either took his own warnings and belief to heart or he too now believed this was no longer a scam.

Speaking of scam- he had forgotten to tell Kankuro he had stumbled upon her.

"Alright." Her voice again threw Kankuro out of his thoughts.

He stared as he waited. Walking a little more deflated, she came into view. She stilled at the doorway, her mix-matched eyes met his teal ones immediately. Clear apprehension and nervousness was written across her face and gaze as she scanned his expression. Again her feet held in place,

"It's good to see you without the hood," the voice was his that spoke.

Surprise widened her eyes. The gray one moving exactly like the green. The scaring across her eyebrow and eyelid wrinkled differently than the untouched one. Even with the scarf about her neck, he could see her swallow and then nod, at him. The unease in her expression, slightly, relaxed.

Again her eyes still stared and scanned at him, visibly sweeping up and down his posture almost as if to confirm he was actually there.

Gaara didn't move, keeping his expression light. He had meant what he had said, even if he hadn't meant to say it. He used this time to study her, Yumi the way she was now. Her hair was combed, the long bangs parted on either side of her face and angled down to her chin. From there the tips of her hair became shorter as they went back to the base of her skull. While not the same, it somewhat reminded him of Hinata during the Chunin exam. In the charcoal strands were intermittent scattering of single gray and white pieces that were not there before. He knew all too well that stress, strain, and hardship could cause white hairs but so far he had been lucky to find none…

Her face was most certainly rounder, her cheeks still as soft. The left side of her face, at her cheek a few inches from her inexpressive lips, was a scar where something had pierced through her face. On her right jaw, tipping under her skin and then reappearing on her neck before being covered by the folds of the scarf were healed cut or claw marks.

And of course her left gray eye that looked as if something had come down across it or more so directly into it. He didn't react, but his sand, his soul, wanted to.

Well practiced in shielding his actual emotions, Gaara made sure to stay on her gaze as much as possible and not to show that seeing her so _hurt_ bothered him.

"You doing alright?" Again it was his voice that spoke smoothly, with genuine concern.

Her head bobbed up and down. Her gaze lightened. Then, miraculously, the corners of her lips moved upwards. It was not Yumi's full grin, but he knew that expression of hers too, and, again, the Kazekage of Suna could not breathe.

"Alright," At the doctor's voice, her smile vanished and her lips returned to their previous blank state.

"Come this way. We will be just one room over." Fujimoto broke the trance.

With the slightest of bob of her head she followed Fujimoto's instruction.

Gaara silently watched her walk, comparing it to how he knew her walk was supposed to be. _No_, he corrected himself, _was_.

As the door she entered closed, he closed his eyes.

"Even if it's not her, it's not a scam nor is she faking it." Saruawatari broke the silence, observing the Kazekage, "and you did very well."

Gaara met the doctor's gaze. "It's her. She's not the same, but I know her, and it's her."

The doctor's head bobbed, choosing to trust his word. Then a question formed in his gaze, "she said you were childhood friends and that you met in the hospital or that at least you needed medicine and were sick. Since you didn't correct her before, I didn't either…. But is that true? I know you were not sick, but as a vessel you were brought here for check ups. Was Yumi in Suna during that time too?"

Gaara's teal gaze went to the ceiling as his head tipped back, remembering-

_She had tackled him. He stood there and watched as she, without hesitation or self-preservation, tackled him- his childhood self!_

"_YUMI!" He couldn't help the boom in his voice for his heart had stopped and anger at her carelessness and his own inaction flooded through him._

"_Yeah?" As if this was normal, the five year old Yumi spun about, innocently._

_Angry she had nearly been hurt, by him, his mind paused. With as little complication as possible, they (himself, Matusri, and her), needed to get away from this situation (him, back when he uncontrollably hurt people) as quickly as possible without any more of a scene._

_But she beat him to the punch, "You want to meet my friend!?" She half bounded up towards him, and then stepped back towards his childhood self, "This is Gaara! He's Six! We are the same Height!" For added clarity, her hand went from the top of her head over to the top of his, at a slight angle… "He promised he meet me here, and he came! This is great! Isn't this great!? THIS is who we came to play with!" She grinned out her hand on his childhood arm._

With a tired sigh, he met the doctor's gaze. "There was a time… a short time that I didn't think she remembered… But like you said, I wasn't sick." He purposefully didn't say the whole story.

"Well with time and more exposure she may remember more, maybe more clearly, or she may be opening to learning more from us too. But it will be important to not overwhelm her too much. I told her her name but I could tell it didn't mean anything to her and I believe that bothered her. So now she has to not only process the name, that she doesn't remember it, but also that it maybe doesn't even feel right or familiar to her like it should... Like I said, that dissociation and lack of familiarity may cause even more confusion and overwhelm if she's not read for it, especially with how injured she obviously was. But with time, once trust is built, it should get easier."

Gaara nodded, absorbing the information.

"Also, Kazekage- since you and her were together. I think we should start to meet again too."

Sighing, he turned his head away. He should have known one of the doctors would rope him in to something like this.

Saruawatari studied the Kazekage briefly, remembering how he had once accused this man of purposefully, horribly, ignoring Minawa's letters. And he remembered how quickly their Kage had responded and how often he visited. It took only two days of visits before the entire hospital had bets on the Kagekage's interest in the young paralyzed woman... A woman who he eventually discharged and still, again seemed to find her way into trouble and then back to them at the hospital."Well, I'm going to have a room set her for her."

"_Don't_." Gaara's voice was sharper than he intended. His eyes colder.

Saruawatari froze briefly before the elder medical doctor frowned, "You are going to have her stay back at her Hotel?"

The Kazekage's gaze intensified. "No, she'll be staying with me."

"Kazekage-" "That's final." He cut off the doctor's objection about it being hard on him, unknown for her, or that it would be better if she was with the doctors at a hosptial. He knew all the objections. He knew they all made logical sense. He knew it, and yet- He couldn't let her stay here.

"Kazekage," Saruawtari's tone changed, "she may not want-" "As she said, I owe a debt and I plan to pay."

Spurred, Gaara firmly crossed his arms causing the senior medical doctor to shake his head hopelessly.

Having won, the Kazekage's teal eyes went back to the closed door where she was. _Yumi... H_ow had he not even looked?

"Oh right..." Gaara dryly muttered to himself. _Kankuro_. He was probably going out of his mind trying to find her. With a sweep of his hand, Gaara sent a sand clone out. Maybe this had been good practice for his older brother who obviously seemed to be a bit rusty at _basic_ recon and civilian location.

...

* * *

...

**Kankuro: "Dude"**

**Gaara: *Sits with his arms crossed in no mood***

**Kankuro: "You can't claim victory"**

**Gaara: *Raises an eyebrow and looks towards Hiiro***

**Kankuro: "It doesn't count when it's fate"**

**Gaara: *Snorts***

**Kankuro: "You know, if you don't talk and she doesn't talk - then you better be nice to me, because you are gunna need me."**

**Gaara: *Narrows his gaze***

**Kankuro: *Sing songs* "I'm just sayin-gah!" *Giant sand waterfall crushes puppet master's soul***

**Gaara: "You hit on her, and I kill you. Brother or no."**

**Kankuro: *Buried***

**Gaara: *Stands up, brushes the sand off himself, and walks towards where Hiiro is* "It's good when we are in agreement***

**Kankuro: *Still buried***

**...**

* * *

**...**

**Dun dun dun!**

Hope you all enjoyed. Ladyktbaby, you ended up soooooo right. It was angsty (T_T). Hopefully it gets better from here. Any thoughts on how Hiiro and Gaara will be? Who Hiiro might remember next? If she'll go by Hiiro or Yumi? If Gaara will fall in love all over again and this time actually realize it? Or will Hiiro/Yumi fall in love all over again?

OMG! What if she suddenly remembers them intimate and nothing else!? Kah! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)/ Poor Hiiro! I wouldn't do that to her... I don't think *glances away*


	15. Chapter 15: Waiting Room

**Ladyktbaby: ^-^ Gaara in love is all sorts of warm fuzzies. I hope we get to see that soon, or at least more fun, happy, cute scenes. Like come on, we've waited this long - go team Gaara-Yumi! Or is it Gaara-Hiiro? Hiiro Gaara? Salt? ugh, character confusion lol!**

**All - Another chapter for you. This is all in Hiiro's view focused (third person). Next one will be all Gaara's... And that last chapter was a mixed focus view where it switched between Gaara and Hiiro. You will have to tell me if there's one you like or dislike over another. :)**

**Anyway, Guess we should get this party or reunion(!?) started!  
Enjoy**

**\- Rain**

**...**

* * *

...

Fujimoto kindly studied her. Concern flushed across her face and she reached out for the young woman's hands, "You know, I myself pronounced you at dead. With everything, it is truly is a miracle you are as well as you are…. Hiiro?"

Hiiro's gaze refocused. Numb is all she felt. Even though Doctor Fujimoto had gone through it twice with her, she still didn't understand. But all she truly knew was that this was proof she was supposed to be dead.

"Would you like me to go through it again?"

Hiiro's head shook no.

"Here, if you would like to take time and read through it again. It's all here." The elder handed Hiiro a stack of noted paperwork.

Hiiro's mismatch eyes glanced down, her brain echoing what the doctor had already said. _50% lung capacity. Removed Gallbladder... beyond repair spleen... Won't be able to have children. Won't be able to utilize chakra - whatever that was, major kidney damage… Her muscles, tendons, and joints showed sign of damage that would require physical therapy if she wished to walk without a limp or improve her mobility and strength…_

"We'll work through this with you. Doctor Saruawtari and I. The Kazekage also has connections to other villages, Haruno Sakura and Senju Tsunade are both experts that are probably willing to assist in helping you heal further."

Emptiness run through Hiiro as her eyes slowly moved up to the doctor. Her head shook no, "th-that's not needed."

_Dead, she was supposed to be dead anyway… _"I insist." Doctor Fujimoto's voice interrupted the deep seeded feelings within Hiiro.

Both their gazes searched the other. Finally Hiiro just nodded, before her eyes dropped away.

Kimiko Fujimoto sighed, "I'd like to schedule a follow up appointment with you, tomorrow at 9?"

Hiiro's gaze returned. Her eyes fluttered back and forth as if she was thinking, "here?"

"Yes."

Dumbly Hiiro just let her head nod, the numbness returned through her soul like a never-ending frost trying to kill off all life within her.

"Good. Then I'll see you again tomorrow," The doctor smiled and walked to the door. With a click it opened, she went out it, shutting the door behind her, and then she came back in with the door left open behind her. "Well, this is probably enough for today, hn? I'll see you tomorrow."

Instead of moving, Hiiro just stood there. It had felt like a whole endless day inside this office, but now she wasn't so sure about stepping out into the next stage of it.

In her hands was the proof that she _shouldn't exist_. That feeling she had first felt when she woke up, the feeling of nothingness, emptiness, uselessness, _death_, swallowed more and more of her. The papers in her hands began to feel heavy, making it even hard to breath. A chill-less cold entered her bones, ebbing in from her hands that held the documents. She now had the proof: proof of her death, that she shouldn't exist, that the _emptiness_ within her was correct-

"Yumi?" The doctor half stepped back in.

Hiiro's head jerked back up, her gaze back to the world around her.

"Y-yes?" That name, that meant nothing to her, she purposefully replied to it.

Doctor Fujimoto slowly swept her hand out. Her head turned to something or someone Hiiro couldn't' see.

_Was he still there?_

Mute, uncertainty replaced the emptiness. Would he wait like he had done the first time? Why would he wait? Maybe this, the papers in her hand felt unbearable, was all there was. Maybe-

"What's wrong?" A male voice drew Hiiro's feet forward. Mindlessly she walked forward.

The doctor shook her head no to the voice's question as she passed.

_Teal_. Her eyes locked on his. He was standing this time, his full attention her direction. Relief flooded through her at the sight of him.

"Holy!" A man seated next to him rose. For only a second, Hiiro's eyes went to him. He had been one of those outside of the hotel.

"_Kankuro_," Sabaku no Gaara's head jerked towards the man whose composure immediately recovered.

"Ay, sorry Yumi. Just, holy, it's good to see you alive." The man she didn't know stepped heavily and quickly forward.

Arms embraced her. The devestating papers were suddenly pressed between them. She couldn't breathe as he squeezed. Her feet dangled as he picked her up.

"Shit," He exclaimed, "shit, I can't believe it's you. Holy!" Her feet touched the ground again. The pressure about her lessened and his arms retracted. He stepped back to see her face, still in awe. "We thought you were dead. We thought you died."

"I did."

Hiiro silently froze. That had been her voice. They'd know now. They'd realize. Would they give her Konoha? Bury her alive. He wouldn't-

"No, I said your injuries should have killed you. Doctor Matsuoka saved you dear." Fujimoto corrected.

"Are you okay?" _His_, Sabaku no Gaara's voice sounded again. And her gaze went back to him. The panic within her released, the mistake she had made had gone unnoticed.

Hiiro studied his waiting gaze. He did not speak like Jun would for her. He did not prowl about her shoulders. He just waited, _for her_.

Some of the weight lifted off her at his gaze. Her lips tipped up just the slightest as her cheeks wrinkled. But then, the weight of exactly what was in her hands, pulled everything back down.

Slowly inhaling through her nose like Jun had taught her, Hiiro counted, _one. _The dense, suffocating air was hard to breathe. _Two_. She tried. With a shaky exhale, she took a step forward. Then another. Numbness laced itself through her muscles. The cold of despair cinched up her lungs.

_Inhale_, Hiiro reminded herself, _one_.

_Exhale, two._

Slowly she marched silently forward towards him. As an empty, broken, shell, she carried a the weight that was overloading her and cracking what little of her self she had built up. Centering on the counts, she stood before him certain.

It would be better, if he had these. Not her. If they could just be taken away from her by him, then the air would at least be lighter and her soul not so exhausted. _Dead, she was supposed to be dead_. Pain of loss murmured through her, but no matter how much she wanted or tried- the past could not be undone.

"Here." With both hands, she presented the documents out to him.

"Yumi those are your private medical documents and results, you may want to look through them and work with us a bit more before-"

Hiiro let the words go through her, as if they had never even been said. She didn't react. She didn't respond.

His teal gaze studied hers. With a sand coated single hand he accepted them. The weight she felt from them lifted but again uncertainty began to churn. If he realized from them that she was supposed to be dead, would he cancel his debt?

She studied him not knowing, but it still it was better for him to have _those_ than her.

"We'd like to have a word with you two, if we could. Yumi, would you be okay with waiting out here a moment?" Words again drifted about her.

"Hiiro." Her name was stated behind her, causing her to turn her head. "Would you be okay waiting out here a moment?"

Her gaze went back to the teal eyes that studied her with a complicated gaze. "Stay here." He stated, "We'll be right back out."

Her head bobbed up and down. His footsteps carried him past her back to Saruwatari's office. Carefully, not sitting, she watched his back. His head turned to _Kankuro_. The hooded man moved towards the office as well.

Suddenly, Sabaku no Gaara glanced back at her as if to make sure she hadn't vanished.

"Here." His hand moved out as he spoke.

The gourd's cap popped off on its own. Sand grains flowed out and up into the wind magically. In a small swirling stream they danced towards her. She felt them. They went up her sleeves, down her collar, up her skirt, into her boots. They coated her skin and for the first time since Kuro had left, Hiiro felt less _alone_.

While her gaze brightened at the act, his suddenly became complicated. With a flick of his hand, the bracelet, the only thing left she had, removed itself from her. She felt it leave her. Then she saw it stream out of her sleeve and float as red-brown grains before them. Confusion and shock painted itself on their faces, while Hiiro suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"Red?" The painted face man asked, "But isn't that-"

"Tha-that-that's-" Need burned itself through her. That was _ALL_ she had left. Kuro was gone. The gold one was gone. The sand one was gone. That one was _all _she had from waking up, from before. It was- "_mine." _

Four gazes refocused on her. "_That's mine_." Her heart pounded as she suddenly found her breath.

As if he was sad over something she couldn't understand, he moved his hand again. The dyed sand flowed back to her. She felt it reconnect about her wrist. Protectively her left hand went over it while her eyes met his.

Nearly inaudible she whispered what she felt in her soul, "thank you."

With a heavy look and even heavier papers in his head, he nodded back. "That sand will protect you."

Her hand went to the coating that was on her skin. _From the moon?_ Her mind didn't dare ask.

"Stay here." He repeated.

Her head bobbed as she sat.

They entered the office, the door shutting behind.

Hiiro, after the third person looked her over in surprise or uncertainty, placed back on her eye patch, gloves, scarf, and hood. Time again ticked. She would need to get to the Lucky Dune soon. Her soul ticked up, he had said _they_ would go together.

Keiji could meet the person he had been helping her find. And then-

And then what?

Emptiness echoed within Hiiro as nothing came to mind but her gloved hand went to the reattached bracelet and then his sand.

And then she'd sleep in her rocking chair. Her mind finally answered.

And then what?

Again emptiness swirled, but again her hands stroked her own arms feeling the coating that fell on all of her. In her pocket, Jinkun peeked up at her. His pinchers clasped open and closed in a code she didn't know.

Tomorrow at nine she had an appointment. In a few weeks Keiji would return to Tea Country… _Jun_, Hiiro missed the woman who had always yet another task for her to do. _Kuro_, Hiiro missed more.

But she did it. She did it!

She found the sandman… She needed to write Jun. She'd do that tomorrow too.

Just one hour. One day. One step- that's all she needed to do. A little bit at a time, hoping that it all wouldn't crumble yet again before her. That the moon wouldn't get its way. she found the sandman. For now, that was enough. He was enough. All she _needed_.

Hiiro inhaled slowly. Exhaling her mind returned to blank.

Time moved on about her. And still silently she sat.

"Minawa Yumi," her tongue decided to try it out. "Number one-"

Her mind just stopped though she hadn't finished reading off the rest of the office door numbers.

Numb, she glanced to that closed door again. "Tomorrow at nine." A nervousness trembled through her, "here-"

Where _exactly _was here? Her head cocked. He had taken her here by sand, so how would she even get back to the hotel?

He'd be with her, right? Inhaling, Hiiro solidified on that thought but still, she wasn't truly sure.

The door clicked, and immediately her single eye went to it. It opened and _he _stepped out first. Again teal eyes met her own single one. His face frowned, "Fujimoto stated you can see out of both your eyes."

Hiiro nodded to his statement.

The pale curves of his mouth turned down further, "then why are you using that patch again?"

Hiiro's single good eye searched his face, looking for what it was he wanted.

"Ah," The hooded man's hand landed on Sabaku no Gaara's shoulder, "didn't you say we needed to get going?"

The teal gaze looked away from her to that man, then back to her.

"Yes," his gaze was piercing, still searching her own but Hiiro didn't know what he wanted to say.

"Kankuro, lead the way." With a turn of his head, he directed the other. Then again his eyes went to her, "come."

_Yes, _Hiiro abruptly rose and walked forward; her left shin immediately slammed into the coffee table. Coasters and books tumbled off it as her hands went down to catch her own fall. Sand from nowhere wrapped around everything. It helped her upright, put back the items, and then moved the entire coffee table away.

As if words were right on the tip of his tongue, he stared at her with his lips firmly pressed together to keep them back.

Hiiro's gaze found the floor as worthlessness washed through her.

"Hey." A male voice whispered, "Say _something_."

Rooted in the floor, Hiiro waited for them to walk so she could follow behind where she belonged, if they were still wanting her around.

Suddenly a worse thought popped in her head - what if, with this, he realized how hopeless she truly was? What if it nullified out the debt?

Her head jerked up with fear in her heart to confirm his rejecting gaze. Instead of seeing his disdain, she was met only with confusion.

"Hey, Ah-" The hooded man looked at her directly, speaking kindly. "There's nothing wrong. Sometimes you just gotta ignore the looks my brother gives, like you used to." He bobbed his head up and down as his hands made gestures of explanation in the air.

"I didn't give her a look," Sabaku no Gaara corrected the hooded man as if his lips hadn't frowned. Then his gaze went back to her.

Hiiro's heart pounded heavily, awaiting the frown she expected.

Instead his teal eyes just ran up and down her, expressionless. "Come. Walk on my right."

His right, was her left. Did he not like her seeing him, or was it because he cared?

Perplexed, Hiiro's head bobbed. Again she moved forward, this time with sand moving everything out of her way.

"Alright, so Lucky Dune?" The hooded man asked, walking first.

She and Sabaku followed. Hearing _his_ steps in the darkness of her eye patch, Hiiro turned her head towards him.

"Keep watch in front of you." He immediately corrected. Hiiro's head snapped back to front.

"And yes, Kankuro, Lucky Dune. She's meeting Sumiro Keiji there."

"Considering I ruined part of his meeting, this will be fun."

"You-" Hiiro started and then silenced.

A pause in the conversation occurred, but Hiiro didn't finish her sentence. She just let the silence fill the air around them. Who was she to ask such things anyway?

"We'll make it up to him. He helped you get here, I owe him that much." Again his voice spoke beside her and the building unease settled within her.

"You wanted-" Her head turned towards him

"Watch-" But it was too late; Hiiro half stumbled, mis-stepping. Immediately caught by the sand.

Sabaku sighed as Hiiro straightened herself out. Gently she brushed out the sand and the new ruffles in her skirt.

"S-so-sorry." She stuttered as they began walking again.

"Dude," Kankuro turned all the way around, his feet still moving as he faced her.

Hiiro stared as she was being stared at. He was walking perfectly backwards, without stumble or hesitation. "We gotta work on you being a bit nicer."

"I-" Hiiro anxiously peeped up, "I- I try to-"

"Not you, Yumi. Jeez, we all know you are nice." Kankuro's gaze landed to Sabaku no Gaara.

At the criticism of the person who would and was helping her, Hiiro anxiety rebloomed. "He's, he's nice." Her words brought the hooded man's gaze back to her causing the words to come out even less confident and far more of a whisper, "he's nice…"

Sabaku, beside her, sighed.

Words again came from where she couldn't see, "you don't need the eye patch, so you shouldn't wear it. It affects both your peripheral vision, depth perception, and range. It also puts strain on the eye you use. But if you do insist on wearing it, then it's best if you keep your sight on what you are doing, at least until you are more healed or your coordination improves. Though it will always be better when both your eyes are uncovered."

A shocking realization suddenly ascended upon Hiiro. "You- You- you want to see my eyes?" She couldn't help but turn her head again, again half tripping.

"Why would I not?" Disgruntled teal gazed back at her, completely freezing her feet in place.

Both men stopped with her as Hiiro's brain had trouble working. Her head turned to Sabaku, needing to see his face.

"But-" She remembered the looks, the whispers, how it bothered others… _except _the Salt Merchant and Ito-Sensei. "But," her tone quieted unsure if he was like them and Jun or all the others. "But doesn't it bother you? How-how _horrible-" _strain tightened through Hiiro's veins at the slightest hint of the torture she couldn't recall, "uh-" Needing to ask, Hiiro switched to a different word- "ugly, I look?"

"You're **not**." Immediately, his gaze pierced through her soul, as if what she had said was impossible. And then his expression and tone softened, "You- How you look will never bother me."

There was a sadness there and while this adult face of his was unfamiliar, she felt familiarity. Even different, she knew him and that further rooted hope through her bones.

"Yeah, Yumi - plus this is a ninja village. Most of us have at least some scars, if not more. Have you never seen Baki's face?" The hooded man exclaimed, slowly drawing her gaze away from the teal that shook her core.

Now looking away from the unyielding teal gaze back to the hooded man, Kankuro. Confusion folded through her as she couldn't place his words.

"Oh right," The man's hand went to his head, "you don't remember Baki do you. Well he-"

"_Kankuro_." A warning growl came from beside her.

Not knowing how to feel or what to try to understand, Hiiro again turned back to Sabaku no Gaara for direction.

"We need to keep walking."

"Yes, yes." Kankuro turned and began walking again.

"If you wish to wear that eye patch its fine, but keep your eyes ahead. Pay attention to the task you are on. Fujimoto stated you are still healing." A quiet deep tone from her left filled her soul.

Her mood lighter, Hiiro just nodded. It wasn't that he didn't like seeing her like those in Jun's town, but that he cared about her. And like Kuro, he also knew her… A warmth spread from Hiiro's previously tight chest. Her hand went to that red bracelet.

Kankuro opened the hospital main door and heat flooded. Bright white light and hot dry air assaulted them as they all stepped outside. Hiiro tugged her hood further over her head and then her left fingers naturally clasped onto the fabric off in the dark beside her.

He paused mid step, stopping.

Immediately, Hiiro retracted her hand from his clothing, realizing what she had just done. With her feet stopped, her head jerked to him who she had just grabbed. "I-"

"-can reach out to me anytime Yumi… Hiiro." He used both her names his teal eyes a cloud of emotions.

Heart beating heavily and tongue frozen in her mouth, Hiiro just nodded. Shyly her gaze went down to the sleeve of his arm where she had naturally grasped.

"Come," He turned towards Kankuro as he raised the arm she had grabbed up to go about her. With his free hand, he again moved the sand. It pooled at their feet and then, again, the world lowered away from them as they went up. Buildings shrunk, people became small, and Hiiro could suddenly see a whole lot further.

"Remember, I won't let you fall." His warm whispered tone echoed into the nothingness inside her, filling it up.

"Thank you." Hiiro quietly, shyly, uttered back.

"After we eat, I'd like to retrieve your things."

Hiiro lifted her chin up in thought, _her things_?

"To move you into your room."

Her neck craned to see his face. _Her room?_ She had a room!? A place?

The hooded man turned around, "at the-"

"At-" Sabaku interrupted him and then paused. His teal eyes gazed into her single green one, "Before-" He frowned and then spoke, again. "We shared a house; you had your own room."

Shock drove through Hiiro. A house? She had a house with him? Her mind racked as it couldn't remember.

"Shared the house, huh?" The hooded man's tone caused her to turn her head towards him now instead. He noticed immediately, "My brother's right. He had set you a room there, but you should know you traveled- _uh, before_, so-" Suddenly he made a face as he tongue tied, "uh-"

"You did not keep many things, most you took with you and were _lost_…" Sabaku filled in for him.

_Traders_, Hiiro's mind echoed, causing her head to nod. But, "I have a room?" Hope swirled wildly within her, if his arm had not been around her and his sand not at her feet, she would have fallen.

"Yes."

Immediately Hiiro's excitement bubbled up. "And there's a hammock, instead of a bed? And a rocker? Right?"

He frowned at her and the joy died.

"I… I took them with me and now they are lost- too." Sorrow crept back within her as quickly as it had been discarded. It prickled across the her hope and it clawed itself back down into her soul-

"Uh, no- Uh- You have-" Kankuro started. "A hammock and a rocker, in place of a bed." Sabaku continued for him, causing the hooded man's head to jerk up, but Sabaku's eyes were on her.

Hiiro absorbed those words even as the teal gaze left her to return to Kankuro's. The The two men stared at each other silently.

And then again, Sabaku no Gaara broke the silence, "But," his gaze returned to her, "it might not be the same as you remembered. There was an _incident_, my brother here ended up borrowing your room one night and accidentally broke them… I replaced them though."

Hiiro's heart fluttered.

"_for me?" _It was but a whisper.

"Yes" And with his one word, the sorrow that had come back so strongly was immediately obliterated.

Under the scarf, the eye patch, the hooded shawl, Hiiro's face just smiled.

She couldn't remember this room. She didn't remember the house. She was still getting used to his adult face, but… he remembered her. He had even replaced things for her.

"_No one is probably waiting for me either." She knelt in Jun's garden with Kuro uncurled half irritated in the dirt before her. She felt and mentally saw every scar across her body. Emptiness and desolation had already destroyed her soul and now it was sinking her every barren and useless breath._

_Kuro's tail snapped down into the garden in purge anger. His fur and scale spikes displayed in all directions as steam coiled out of his nose. He huffed. Then his tail moved, deep, ugly cuts, carved into the earth. S-A-N-D-M-A-N_

An urge unlike anything Hiiro felt before naturally flowed through her - say thank you. Say thank you. This was what Kuro had tried to tell her, that someone was waiting for her, and he had even replaced the things in _her_ room. She needed to say thank you - ["WHAT HAVE I TAUGHT YOU!? _Jeiti say thank you!"] _

"Ah!" Hiiro realized she hadn't said anything more, "uh-" She turned to look at him who was holding her up on his fast moving sand. "Thank you. And thank you for keeping my room too. Thank you."

Salt couldn't wait to tell Keiji the good news.

"Since you will be-" His voice paused, "_returning_ to it. Would it be okay if after meeting Sumiro Keiji that we let just you two eat and then meet with you after dinner to get your things and move you there? Kankuro and I have to finish up a bit of business."

Hiiro mind stalled. She had wanted to eat with him. She had wanted Keiji to eat with him… But, "okay," she just agreed without daring to say more. Of course he was busy. He was probably like Jun, always busy with one project or another.

"I've formed another band on your arm. When you finish eating, just break it and we'll meet you outside of the restaurant, okay?"

"How about at the hotel?" Kankuro piped up. The teal gaze on her flashed up to his brother.

Hiiro watched as his pale face frowned and then silently sighed, "When you return to the hotel, break it. That way we can pick up your things and check you out."

Hiiro's hand went to her red bracelet. Right beside it was a second one. Surprised, she pulled her sleeve. It was sand, exactly like the one that turned into that woman…

Her single eye went back to him. If she broke it, would it turn into him? Was this why he was the sand man?

Dumbly, she nodded.

"Or if you need me, just break it. Even if dinner is not done." He amended.

"Okay?" He added on, his teal gaze back to her.

"Yes." With a hand on the new bracelet Hiiro couldn't help her smile, which pitched up her tone.

"Good. Now, Kankuro, introduce me to Sumiro Keiji." With his words, the sand descended.

The arm about her that she had forgotten became strong. Again, she couldn't gracefully step off as they did. But he gently and firmly held her up as the sudden ground tried to take out her feet from under her.

Once her feet were steady, she felt the arm's absence. Without a word he stood back half-a-step behind her. Eyes were on them in all directions, but instead of looking at those around them, Hiiro just looked back to him.

His gaze went to his brother, Kankuro. With a nod, the hooded man walked. Feeling the sand on her arms almost nudge her forward, Hiiro followed him.

Inside, Keiji's well-groomed hair and rich clothing drew her eye. Immediately he stood, his gaze concerned as he locked on her. With grace and a formidable step, he weaved through tables marching towards them.

"'Cuse me, could you set up the small room in the back. Setting for two? And prepare a coursed dinner - on the Kage tab." Kankuro smoothly leaned towards a hostess and then pivoted.

"Sumiro Keiji, My apologies for earlier. Come, to make it up to you we got you and Salt a nicer place to eat and we'll set up private rooms in all our business restaurants if you would like to use them for your businesses." Kankuro placed down his hood and smiled chivalrously towards the merchant, holding out his hand.

"Thank you." Cautious, but open, Keiji accepted it and gave a shake. His eyes went to her again and then Sabaku no Gaara who was still half a step behind.

"Again, we are sorry for our disturbance of your earlier business meeting." Kankuro herded Keiji forward.

Hiiro silently followed half stumbling as a chair bit into her hip from the darkness on her left.

A serious hn, sounded from behind and sand wrapped about her even further as if to say 'watch ahead'.

More careful, Hiiro followed. The small room was brightly lit with colorful paintings on the wall. A fish tank immediately took her gaze away from what was in front of her, but sand stopped her feet. Bubbles went up through it as colorful fish circled the swaying plants.

"So you've met my companion, Salt Hiiro." Keiji spoke her first and last name.

The door behind them slid shut.

"I should thank you for your support in getting her here. Salt Hiiro is Minawa Yumi who we thought died. She and I-"

Hiiro perked at Sabaku's voice, "Ah," She had wanted to tell Keiji-

The three waiting pairs of eyes caused her voice to die in her throat. Her gaze dropped to the floor.

"Hiiro-" Keiji started to speak but stopped.

Shyly Hiiro glanced back up, Sabaku was staring at Keiji, then his gaze returned to her. It was waiting; he was waiting _for her_.

"Um," Her confidence returned as she looked to Sabaku no Gaara and then to Keiji, "he's the one I was looking for- the boy from the hospital- Sabaku no Gaara. We were friends as children and we share a house now because of my family."

Hiiro glanced to Sabaku

"Wha-" Keiji started to talk, but Sabaku did as well.

"She first came to Suna as a child back when I was young. She remembers correctly, we played together. She did move away but then returned here. I owe Yumi, Hiiro, a debt and two more to her family."

"You-" Again Keiji started and paused. This time his eyes searched hers.

"I have a room, like you said, someone knew and recognized me." Hiiro smiled her heart bright as the hope finally was now before her.

With a sigh, Keiji stared at her. A smile of appeasement on considerate face. "I'm glad. Utterly shocked, but glad. And it's good that the _interruption_ this morning was for something like this. Caring for people is more important than making trades in my book."

The merchant glanced to the two Suna men once more before strolling to the table, "Are you two joining us?"

"No, we have some other business to attend to. But Kankuro will help Hiiro with her items from the hotel, once you two are done."

"We should do dinner or lunch some other time. Salt, you, I, whoever else." Keiji smiled at Sabaku with a strategic gaze.

Silence occurred as the men quietly judged each other. Hiiro's gaze went back to the fish tank oblivious to the weighing of negotiations going on about her.

"That would be acceptable."

"Glad to hear it." Keiji grinned victoriously.

"Kankuro will be back when you are ready to checkout from the hotel." Sabaku stared into her soul.

Mute under his complex gaze, Hiiro just nodded but then that elation she felt just required her to speak. "Okay! Yes!"

With a nod, kind smiles, and another hug from Kankuro that again lifted her off her feet, the two men left.

"So-" Keiji grinned at her. He walked about the table. " the kazekage!?" He pulled out the chair for her with a strange, entertained look on his face.

Hiiro blinked, "Sabaku no Gaara. He was the boy I told you about. He remembers me too even."

She sat, looking up at him. He nodded as he pushed her in before strolling to the other side

Gracefully, he seated himself as well. "And your name is Minawa Yumi?"

"Ah, yes... Minawa Yumi." Hiiro fiddled with her napkin.

"Huh, I think that fits you well."

Her single eye drifted across his face, "you really think so?"

"Don't you?" He inquired.

Hiiro's gaze drifted away. "I don't know… I don't remember it… But-" Hiiro paused, the hope Sabaku no Gaara had helped attach to her soul was too strong to ignore, "but I remember him… And Kuro said he was waiting for me… I think, I think he's a part of my home."

Hiiro placed a hand over her bracelets. Emptiness rung within her, aching. "But," She continued, "but I don't remember it."

Keiji frowned as he gazed at her forlorn look. "With time it should come. Look at how much more you've remembered here over previously."

Hiiro's head nodded.

"Plus - _the Kazekage_," Keiji leaned forward, "what a chance of a lifetime."

Hiiro studied Keiji, confused.

The merchant sighed. "This isn't about me. I'm glad, Hiiro. I'm going to be telling this story forever though. Freaking sick hospitalized kid turns out to be the Kazekage." He laughed to himself. "You know, if the Suna ninjas hadn't been looking for you, and found you, I'm not sure I would have ever figured it out."

Surprise overcame Hiiro. "Looking for me?"

"Yes. That sand ninja leader, Kankuro, disrupted my trade deal looking for you."

_Looking for her._ Hiiro repeated it in her head. Sabaku no Gaara, when he had found her, had been looking for her.

A feeling she couldn't quite describe rose up from her chest and filled her whole being. "_oh"_

Keiji grinned. "That little creature of yours definitely knew where home was."

At the mention of Kuro, Hiiro's emotions complicated. "I wish he was here too. To see Sabaku no Gaara again..."

Keiji's gaze mirrored her own, "I'm sure he's happy for you and in a good place. Heh, maybe with that little creature of yours, I should have guessed the Kazekage. He did look like a ninja companion and a little demon."

Hiiro's eye narrowed, "He wasn't a demon."

Keiji grinned picking up the glass of water, "never to you. But come, let's celebrate in honor of Kuro and for you finding home. You definitely are going to have to write the Matsuokas about this, they will never believe me otherwise. But makes sense now that I think about it - with Kuro and all. They are going to be so happy for you."

"I'll write Jun, I was going to anyway." Hiiro bobbed her head, laying her napkin on her lap. "Should I tell her about Jinkun and Hisa too?"

"Who?"

"Jinkun and Hisa."

"Yeah, do they live with the Kazekage as well?"

"They will, I think."

"Sounds like it will be a very nice place. Come, let's celebrate. The Kazekage set us up with a coursed dinner."

Again emotions she couldn't quite name floated through her, but instead of feeling complicated- she just felt warm. "Do you," Hiiro hesitated, shy. "Do you think I could try some of their fancy teas?"

"Here I'll help you make the first Suna tea flight. Might be their new best seller by the time we are done." Keiji picked up a menu Hiiro hadn't noticed on the table and flipped through it with an eager look in his eyes and a determined smirk. "Here we go teas. Now, let's call the waitress and soon we'll have the start of the newest Suna trend. Tea Flights."

Hiiro enthralled at the idea picked up the menu as well. After a few flips, she too found the teas. Her eye read the numerous black tea imported varieties. "Do you think, we could name it after Kuro?"

"And then do a black and vicious teas?" Keiji joked, gaining a semi-amused glare from Hiiro. "I'm joking, I'm joking. But if a great trader from Tea country such as I can't get you a few tea flights named Kuro or whatever you'd like then I better go find me a new career."

Hiiro grinned, "even if you can't get it, thank you Keiji. For everything."

"Of course. We'll still have to do breakfast, lunch, or dinner from time to time while I'm here. Okay? And then maybe when I come back the next time?"

"Yes." Hiiro's heart warmed. "Of course."

"Good."

...

* * *

...

**Number 39 *floated back towards his own plane***

**Number 39: Happy for her!? Who was happy for her that she was with that terrible disgusting soon to be dead sand man**

**Number 39: Once the debt was paid, he'd be a dead soon-to-be-dead sand man.**

**Number 39: Also... what was tea? Did it make all dead? If it didn't, why would his not death name it after him? If it did, why was she drinking it!? Wait...**

**Number 39: *stopped floating* It was his not death. So of course. Of course she would just drink in flight what destroyed others.**

**Number 39: *chuckles* Ah, not death. Once he figured out how to get the oni back where it belonged, then him and his not death could reign. Then by levels she could rise up in power. Obviously drinking the death cups of others, she has already well surpassed the soon-to-be-dead plane. **

**Number 39: *menacingly begins to float again* Find the Oni. Push back the demon-devils to their own lower levels. Get the Oni back as the guard over them. Then kill the sand man and convince his no longer tormented not-death to become the apex he always knew she was. Will be easy enough... **

**Number 39: *looks at the abyss around him* Where the FKJDSOFIJDOFJ are all the other Death Gods!? What the FKJSLDJFSDLKJF! **

**Number 39: *Cursing in the death god tongue, he continues on, searching***

**...**

* * *

**...**

**Dun, dun dun!**

Please review! Hope you enjoyed Hiiro's view. Next up is Gaara's. Any idea how Hiiro will react to being in the Kazekage's house? How long do you think Gaara can keep the council from getting word of his new roomate? Any idea if Gaara realizes he's about to get 3 roommates, not just one!? ^_^

Looking forward to your comments! Thank you for reading!


	16. Chapter 16: Making it Home

**Ladyktbaby: Ah well you've inspired a bit of this chapter! Hopefully you enjoy it! Love the commentary!**

**All - this is all Gaara's view. let me know which you prefer - Mixed, Hiiro's, or Gaara's. Or if you want me to keep switching chapter to chapter. ^-^**

**Now let the fun begin!**

**\- Rain**

* * *

"Yes. That sand ninja leader, Kankuro, disrupted my trade deal looking for you." The merchant spoke with his observant gaze on Yumi

A long pause occurred before she only uttered, "_oh"_

Sumiro grinned. "That little creature of yours definitely knew where home was."

Suddenly her tone down turned, her voice thick with sorrow, "I wish he was here too. To see Sabaku no Gaara again..."

That merchant's gaze held sympathy, "I'm sure he's happy for you and in a good place. Heh, maybe with that little creature of yours, I should have guessed the Kazekage. He did look like a ninja companion and a little demon."

Yumi's only exposed eye narrowed, "He wasn't a _demon_."

The merchant picked up a glass of water, he took a sip. His observant gaze stuided Yumi."Never to you. But come, let's celebrate in honor of Kuro and for you finding home. You definitely are going to have to write the Matsuokas about this, they will never believe me otherwise. But it makes sense now that I think about it - with Kuro and all. They are going to be so happy for you."

Gaara disconnected his sand eye as he landed outside of his house. Kankuro hopped off while he just stepped.

His sand opened his door and both of them walked through.

"Dude," Kakuro's gaze landed immediately on the carved dining table. _Debt. Pay. Sand. _Words upon words large and small were horribly carved into it with jagged ugly lettering that would bring a chill down any man's spine. "Didn't you tell me you were going to replace that thing? It was haunted, why the heck do you still have it!?"

"Nn," Gaara's teal gaze went to the door of the spare room where Yumi had slept during the Suna Chunin Exams, "we'll replace it now." His footsteps silently stepped along the windowed wall of the living room. His sand yet again opened the door for him.

"Annnnddd- you aren't even paying attention." Kankuro huffed as he turned.

Gaara looked about the small room. A normal chair, bed, and dresser were all present. He hadn't lied to her when he said Kankuro had crashed here from time to time. His brother in law had also stated here once as well as Naruto on a different occasion… but they hadn't destroyed the furniture like he had implied. With a grasp of his fingers, his sand engulfed the chair crushing it to dust and then the same with the bed.

"Yo - someone could have used those!" Kankuro shouted behind him causing him to turn to gauge his older brother.

"I believe it was you the last time you stayed here that told me I should burn them. Your words precisely if I recall correctly."

Kankuro grimaced, "Well still better than nothing for someone, ya know. And I was rather drunk then if you recall, all because of the council trying to tie you up with some lord's daughter or another, _again._"

A snort sharply exited Gaara's nose as annoyance churned through him. What if the Council had succeeded? What if Yumi had stumbled back into Suna and he stuck in a political engagement or worse married-

Gaara's chest tightened as he remembered her looking at him already rejected, _waiting to be rejected and thrown out as trash._ Disgust rolled through him at the thought of politics crushing her. The council would probably have put her up in a hospital bed again with no one familiar around. Worse, they might have tried to ship her off home - not caring that she had grown up on a mountain that was abandoned and now barren…

"Soooo-" Kankuro broke the Kazekage's thoughts, "you have quite the look going, again… Ya know, that Kazekage Sand Poker face seems to be a little on the Shukaku kill us all side and less on the Gaara-I-really-don't-know-what-you-are-thinking side."

Immediately his pale teal eyes narrowed upon his older brother.

"I'm just saying, Yumi doesn't seem to be ignoring your random murder looks like she used to. I mean if she doesn't remember the man that raised her, she might actually not be immune to such things anymore either."

Gaara clenched his teeth at how much Yumi had suffered and he hadn't even known. But he couldn't change the past and he knew first hand that mulling over it did nothing. With a silent inhale, his expression softened. "You're right."

Kankuro smiled immediately, "Glad you are finally seeing the older brother wisdom."

Teal eyes snapped back up to the puppet master, "only to the fact I can't let what I can't change get to me. You still were very wrong last month's meeting, then using me to get a date last week, and now in having not found Salt Hiiro."

"Hey- You picking her up and not telling me for hours, did not make _me_ wrong. I was seconds away from finding her."

"Debatable."

Kankuro's arms crossed immediately.

Gaara's gaze went back to the room, "I need a hammock, rocker…" Then, he eyed his older brother, "and other things that would be in a woman's room."

Kankuro's eyes narrowed. "From how many times we've bathed together, you know I'm not female."

"But you've been in enough of their rooms."

"You always make me sound so bad." The puppet master's head shook.

"You still would know better than I, and from your anti-terrorist work you also investigate covers and houses."

"Alright." Kankuro's arms finally dropped. Taller and broader, he squeezed by Gaara to look into the small spare bedroom. "The waitress is going to make the dinner last at least an hour and a half. And me getting her things will take about 15-20 minutes so we have-"

"Until 8:40," Gaara answered.

"So we need a dining table, hammock, rocker, maybe a few cute pillows or blankets… Hn." Gaara watched as Kankuro's hand went to his face. His eyes scanning the room. "Curtains I think, some trinkets or plants for the dresser."

"Aloe vera."

"What?"

"The plant." Gaara replied with a single bob of his head.

"Alright- do we have any picture of her or family or friends? Women usually have a ton of those up. But… I don't think I ever saw any when I visited her in the hospital…"

Gaara frowned. _"I wish he was here too." _ Her sorrowful voice echoed in his head. Briefly biting the inside of his cheek he debated, "I think I have one thing she'd like… Yumi never had photos that I knew of."

"Yeah I remember there were like two at her funeral…" Kankuro's solemn gaze turned back towards him.

"Do I need anything in the rest of the house?" Gaara backed out of the doorway to let his brother see.

"Probably a few things in the bathroom - you know women's razors, soft colorful towels, face masks - those things."

"We need to make sure they won't hurt her more. Fujimoto mentioned she's purposefully and carefully taking care of her skin to help it continue to heal."

His older brother's gaze turned complicated, "I know a few retired nin that may be able to recommend a few items…"

"Hn,"

"Alright." Kankuro's arms swung to his hair briefly and then back down. He turned with a serious expression, "you do realize you can't go shopping for these things, right?"

Immediately Gaara's arms crossed. His stance naturally widened. Deadly his tone dropped, "**Why not?**"

"If you go shopping for women's items right before she moves in here, not only is she going to become really well known she's going to become your fan bases' number one enemy. That's assuming we make it out of the store before the council catches wind."

"There's nothing that says that others can't be here."

"No, but you signed that you were never going to marry to get them to back off. And again, last time I checked the crazies don't really care what rules actually exist. I don't think we should cause her to be surrounded, questioned, or worse attacked on her first night here."

Sand held murderously still across his skin as his pale blue gaze became heart-stoppingly-cold.

"I don't like it any more than you do." Kankuro's hands waved innocently in the air.

Gaara glanced towards his front door. He still remembered the picket that occurred when the council was trying to find him a bride. "Hn, then I'll make it so they won't know it's me and make it easier so they don't try to guess what you are up to either."

Dubious and suspicious at his brother's tone, Kankuro's eyebrows wrinkled together and his eyes narrowed, "And just how are you going to do that?"

His eyes jumped back to his brother with a smirk, "That useless Jutsu Naruto uses… Turns out with a few tweaks, it can be actually useful. Don't tell him though, otherwise we'll have even worse rumors to deal with."

Gaara's hands flashed through the signs as sand swirled about him. "Oiroke no Jutsu"

At the words, Kankuro rushed to cover his eyes before his younger brother could finish. "You learned _THAT _from him!?"

Gaara huffed transformed. He crossed his arms, immediately feeling the soft orbs of flesh where his firm chest was normally.

Kankuro's head was tilted up to the ceiling; his eyes away. "I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother. I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother. I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother. I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother-"

Annoyance grew in Gaara as he watched his immature sibling, "Kankuro". The feminine alto voice called.

"I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother. I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother. I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother. I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother. "

"_Kankuro!" _It snapped.

"I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother. I-will-not-be-turned-on-by-my-brother."

"**Kankuro!"** With his petite hand and small wrist, he drew sand to his brother and violently whipped his head down.

"Shi-"Kankuro's eyes went wide and then furrowed in confusion, "You're dressed."

"Of course. I told you I made it useful."

"You actually aren't that hot. Like… you even look a little below average… Couldn't you have-" His brother's hands went up in cups at his chest. "Or," then they moved in a narrowing symbol about his waist. "And like-" Then went down towards his butt-

"What would be the point of drawing attention when I'm trying to not draw attention." Gaara as a toupe sandy-blonde woman dryly replied. His deep dark blue eyes narrowed. "We don't have time to waste."

Again Gaara brought his narrow hand up. With a twist, sand surrounded them. In seconds they stood in a dark alley hidden from sight. Kankuro glanced left and right to verify no one saw and then stared at his brother.

Gaara felt his eyes climb up and down him. Purposefully he had tweaked the jutsu back towards the original Henge No Jutsu that Naruto had used as its base. Toupe-sandy hair was tied back at the base of his now more narrow neck. Bangs brushed his sculpted eyebrows while the length of the low pony tail fell all the way to his knees. Dark blue eyes with short sandy eyelashes were neither small nor big. His rounded nose held a triangle shape with the slightest of down turn. Youthful and soft cheeks caused his beige lips to naturally settle with an upturn, making him seem more approachable. While his sun kissed light tan skin gave off the impression of having worked out under the desert sun from time to time.

Gaara had picked himself to have a small B-size chest, with an averagely curved waistline, and subtle hips. His sand formed a green, sleeveless, one quarter zippered vest with two tiny useless but fashionable pockets. The vest with its popped tall collar, snugly fit over his bra-supported chest and down his curving waist, but then it flared right above the hips and loosely settled right at the curve of his ass before his legs; almost mirroring a short tunic blouse. Black tight long shorts covered his now more voluptuousness thighs, ending right above his knee. A mauve leather belt wrapped about his left thigh, securing two pouches to him where his sand, some money, and a few kunai hid. And then black sandals with painted green toe nails completed his look.

"Ah!" Kankuro pointed and jumped back, "You've been using this to check out our Suna ninja programs and I know I've seen her-you on the training grounds!"

"Hn." The young female voice hummed as Gaara eyed his brother. "I told you I made it useful. But now we need to finish the task at hand."

He looked down the alley in both directions, weighing which stores could have everything they were looking for. Purposefully meeting Kankuro's gaze, he glanced towards his brother's pocket. "You will have to pay. I can't use the Kage's tab like this and it will cause an equal amount of problems if you use it while I'm with you."

"Heh, so _that's_ why you have brought me along with this. I see how it is. Come, the Oasis has hammocks I believe and some cute pillows. Asami likes their soaps so we should find a number of things there for her."

"We should pretend like we are shopping for me."

Kankuro turned to narrow in on his now female brother, "And just what should I call you anyway? Garmari? Tsunaara? Oh! How about Garlee?"

Gaara's dark blue eyes narrowed. "Hisoka"

"Hisoka." Kankuro repeated. "Shit, you were in a class I taught a few months ago weren't you!?"

"You really should not be teaching genin some of the items you do. It's dangerous if they perform those moves wrong." As Kankruo began to frown, Gaara finished. "But it's good you are assessing them on their current skill level, making sure they are evenly matched and equally diversified… and not letting them isolate or belittle each other."

"Hn. So now I know where you've been hiding when no one can find you." Kankuro smirked and glanced back towards the young lady beside him. His eyes scanned his brother's fashion sense before he frowned, "You didn't come up with this look all by yourself, did you?"

"Asami." Gaara glanced up to his brother to gauge his reaction.

Kankuro's eyes were straight ahead, watching the path before him. Gaara's went back to the same. The shoes clicked on the hardened sand. He didn't know why women liked to put a heel even on their flats but they did and Asami had advised him that style could be a valid reason for no one to suspect he was casing the places he went vs just walking slow.

Compared to the looks Kankuro got by those who recognized him, Gaara's form got none. Not too plain to draw attention nor too flashy to be memorable. He had always known sexism existed, but it wasn't until he trialed this type of surveillance and observation that he learned just how powerful it was. Right now he could easily assume that most hadn't even looked much past his outline before assuming he just was another date.

"How is she?" His brother's voice broke his thoughts.

Gaara's soft lip frowned as the deep blue eyes reflected regret. Asami, like Yumi, should have never been in that situation… "Better… Her leg is as physically healed as it's going to get and she seems well use to using the brace. She was wearing heels again when I visited a few weeks ago but-" Gaara paused. He had noticed all the differences between the woman who was once the only civilian secretary of the Kazekage to the woman that now avoided most reminders of the ninja society. He didn't know how to describe it, the ghosts that still existed in her gaze or how where she used to be on the ball, she now was just more likely to not even answer the door…

"Maybe hearing about- Ya know… Will help her." Kankuro's tone also held regret.

"I was thinking about taking her to see her tomorrow."

Kankuro's head turned, immediately meeting the young woman's serious look. "Maybe they can help each other? I was gunna contact a few nin, there's a PTSD ninja group that meets weekly. Might be good for- Uh, Salt?"

"Hn." As his head nodded, the long hair brushed once up and then down on his back. It was a feeling he had yet to get used to.

"Alright," Kankuro pivoted, his hand on the smooth door hand, "Shall we _Hisoka?" _He grinned completely, pushing back the serious cloud that had formed around them.

Gaara's sandals clicked as he walked through. Turning his head, the long pony grazed his own bare shoulder. "Remember, you are paying."

"Of course. Of course, what else are gentlemen for?" Kankuro let the door shut behind him, causing the bell to ring out.

Gaara exhaled unamused.

"Welcome to Oasis. Kankuro-san, pleasure to see you. How's our great Kazekage?" The man instantly covered the large shop's span and shook Kankuro's hand vigorously.

"Ah, well… He's been more strained than of late. Sometimes I wonder if he should pick up a hobby or two, even if it's something _strange_ or more normal like _shopping_." Kankuro's gaze went to the back of his female, blonde, brother.

"Ah, we would definitely welcome him here. You should tell him to come in from time to time."

Gaara ignored the conversation behind him, and the obvious looks his brother was giving him. Walking alone across the shop, he went straight for the hammocks. Large, small, rope, fabric, bedlike, and chair like hammocks all were displayed with a number of colors and options for each of them. He immediately wrote off the rope ones and the chair ones. That left him the fabric which came in multiple sizes, colors, and textures…

"We definitely should go for two person." Kankuro popped up beside him, bumping his broad arm into his now narrow torso.

"We-" "Ah yes, it's great to relax on, let multiple kids play on, sleep, or cuddle up under the stars." The store manager interrupted him as he too joined.

Giving up on conversing in this form, Gaara began to feel each of the fabrics. The sand on his fingers caught on those that were a bit more course or rough. Carefully he searched for a smooth one.

"Colors are also important. Whatever your favorite color is, we should have a pattern or two with it on it." The shopkeep smiled, misunderstanding what the young lady was doing.

Gaara silently glanced through. He had selected a fabric type, but not yet a size.

"Definitely should get one that fits two people, _Hisoka. Especially with your girlfriend._"

"Yes - this one has plenty of room for two people for friends to sit side by side or lay. It's one of our best sellers - almost equivalent to a double size mat!" The man walked over to the hammocks that were slightly smaller than the largest side and tugged it across to showcase its width.

Unimpressed, Gaara's eyes narrowed. It was too presumptuous to assume such things. Yumi only remembered them as kids, _friends_, not anything else.

"And it's good for just you to lay around on. The extra room will make it feel nicer to lay out on, read, draw, relax, or sleep." The merchant walked to one on a stand.

"Here, come try it out." He patted it before the blonde.

Annoyed, but needing to know, Gaara walked over. With the tight vest covering his butt he couldn't just knee up on the thing so instead he sat and then slid himself in place.

Kankuro's gaze held laughter, "you know, you really should try _laying_ down."

Gaara leaned back, his pony caught awkwardly beneath him and his shorts half riding up. The fabric did still feel smooth on his sand coated bare arms and the hammock naturally rocked. Also he could see the benefit of the extra width, especially with how Yumi now seemed _very_ prone to falling.

"Alright,take this one." He sat up, fixed his vest, and then slid off and fixed his shorts and re-tightened the hair tie's grip. Glancing over to his brother, he caught him staring. "Aren't you supposed to be helping me, since I'm new to Suna and all?"

"Oh, you are new to suna?" The merchant bought the story immediately.

"Yes and Kankuro-sensei offered to help me find things I need. He even said he'd buy it as a welcome gift to me." Gaara tipped his lips up as his eyes gleamed. He really shouldn't cause Kankuro to be rumored sleeping with his students, but at the moment some part of him wanted to.

"I told you it is actually a part of you being accepted. We pay for some furnishings and housing." Kankuro killed his brother's poor attempt at play.

Knowing that rumors of the anti-terrorist leader's exploitation of students would come back to haunt him as the Kazekage, Gaara lifted his tone purposefully, "Ah, that's right. My bad."

Mirroring what Matsuri used to do, Gaara daintily placed his hand on his head and leaned to the slide as if shy. Immediately his brother's gaze narrowed somewhere between agitation at being played and amusement.

"That's alright, moving can be hard." The store owner bought it.

"Well," Kankuro coughed trying to hide a laugh. "You said you need pillows and blankets? Probably shampoo and conditioner too."

"I'll show you where shampoo and conditioner options are." The store merchant motioned to Gaara with his fingers.

"I'm going to pick a few pillow and blanket options. You don't have to worry, my selection style's pretty good." Kankuro threw Gaara a look who ignored it as he followed the merchant back to a new area.

"So with your hair, you probably want detangling and volume? Though Suna is very dry so moisturizing may be better. Oh, we have these new items in. They are Shampoo or Conditioner bars -they reduce the trash amount we have in Suna and they generally last longer than normal sized bottles. Usually about 50 to 60 uses, though those with shorter hair can probably get 80."

Gaara stared at the spherical and oblong solid shapes.

"They also don't have the harsh chemicals that some of our other products do, you know those sulfide-things. Most are all natural and gentler on your hair and skin."

That drew Gaara's gaze up to the merchants. Fujimoto's words came back to him as well as how carefully Yumi, _Hiiro_, was taking care of herself- except for the falling and running into things…

"How much should I buy?" His own female voice surprised him. Reaching forward he picked a green one up.

"Probably only need one of each. We have body soaps, facial soaps, and moisturizers too. Go through and smell them, there's a number of scents. That one is jasmine. The dark blue over there supposedly smells like the ocean."

Deep jasmine with far too much floral assaulted Gaara's nose. He placed the green back and picked up the blue. A lighter scent of yuzu with vanilla and fresh water floral brushed across him. She would like this one, _should_ like this one. Yumi had always liked water and she had woken up in Tea Country near the ocean per Kankuro's report. Maybe, if she felt homesick for there, this could help her feel at home here…

Gaara, no longer disturbed by the shopkeeper, continued on. He smelled the various lotions picking one marked energy that was an orange ginger that reminded him too much of when Yumi had massaged him. He also picked a softer one of lavender, pear, and rosemary. For soap, he strangely landed on a moisturizing papaya coconut soap that read as if it nourished, renewed, and hydrated skin. Hoping it was something she would like, he picked out a pack of three of the bars. And then after much reading, he finally picked a razor… Why did women have so many options for a razor?

"I think I got pillows, blankets, and curtains for you to look through. I grabbed a hamper too, don't think you have that in the room and this is supposedly easy to carry…"Kankuro met him back near the cashier table.

Gaara's eyes swept over the variety of options before him. Mentally he was already done with shopping, but with this being for Yumi he also needed it to be right.

"Oh!" Kanuro perked up, "And I found this!". He placed down a glass jar that had glowing dots in it. "It's called fairy dust. But it's kinda cool." He picked it back up and shook it. The glowing little blue specs all swirled and swayed.

Gaara eyed it. What did Yumi now think of the dark? Of anything?

"Alright. And these colors." His hands drifted over the blues, purples, yellows, grays, and oranges. These were some of the colors she had worn in her photo as well as yesterday.

"No red - I thought red was a favorite-"

Gaara's head shook no. If she didn't remember, would she have the same favorites? At that thought his eyes went back to the things he brought over. Had he picked badly? Frowning he realized he wasn't sure what else to pick. He just needed to trust himself…

His gaze went to a thick corded blanket, "What's this?"

"It's called a chunky knit blanket. All the rage - it's heavy so it helps people sleep but the holes make it cool enough no one gets too hot, supposedly. A lot of people like them."

"Alright. So…" Gaara's mind did inventory. "A Rocker?

"We can get that on our way back." Kankuro put everything they were buying in a pile.

"Hn, then I'll let you pay." Gaara took two steps backwards, his bangs bouncing against his forehead. At a thought, he smirked, "And carry them back?"

Immediately his brother glared, "_Sure, _I guess that's a nice thing to do for a young _lady like yourself."_

"Thank you Sensei." Gaara smiled briefly, before his mind went back to his house. Was this enough?

"Dining room table." His own female voice sounded.

"Oh, you need one of those too?" The salesman stood up a bit taller.

"Yes."

"Alright come this way."

Kankuro huffed as Gaara followed along. His long taupe blonde hair swaying as he walked.

The dining table selection was easy. Gaara, to the surprise of the store owner, picked the one he liked.

"Are you sure?" The store owner double took between the masculine table and the average young lady with obvious painted toes and semi-fashionable dress

"Yes." With that single word, Gaara glanced back to Kankuro.

"Jeez. Ring me up for her so I can help her move into her new room." Kankuro pulled out his wallet as Gaara watched on.

He glanced about the store. Trinkets and bobbles he didn't need. Colors upon colors of sheets, hammocks, pillows, towels- "Towels."

He marched again.

"Have you heard of this thing called a list?" Kankuro's head pivoted, gaining a narrow eyed look back.

Gaara glanced through. Yumi wouldn't care about the towel. He remembered her once drying off roughly. While mostly dressed, her shy gaze had caught him staring causing a blush and then a grin.

A large fluffy steel gray towel caught his attention. He grabbed two. On his way back he noticed the artwork on the walls. A few had quotes on them. His stopped walking as he was reminded:

_Suna had been attacked. It hadn't been him or the kages that had saved it but the jeiti independent guards, Yumi included. The village was restless for instead of an overwhelming victory, the enemy had just left. Every reflective surface portrayed their loved ones death if they did not remove and distance themselves of the Ninja. Every reflective surface, every mirror, he saw his brother, his sister, Matsuri, Naruto, Yumi, Asami, Baki, and others attacked._

_Inhaling, he opened his door. His eyes closed. The first reflective surface would be there the moment he opened them. Her, them, all of them would be reflected tortured or dead in it. _

_Firm, he opened his gaze - "Continuous is also Power" A white sheet covered the surface with blue dripping lines of Yumi's handwriting._

_Surface after surface were covered in quotes._

Gaara, towels in hand, stared at particular piece of art work that held a quote which resounded firmly within him. Inside a simple large frame, a thickly painted massive blue wave rose up to form a ball. It was much like that Kurokawa had made for Yumi in the hotel room except his swirled back and forth, while this one with deep and heavy lines of dark, light, and bright blues along with whites, grays, and blacks and white filled up three quarters of the entire canvas. Then in black lettering that switched over to white as it entered the water at the base of the wave the artist had very beautiful written.

_"You are not a drop in the ocean.  
You are the entire ocean in a drop."_

Not a drop, Gaara agreed. Not insignificant. She was so much more, even different. She was the ocean. Gaara's narrow neck was craned up with that long hair brushing down his back. Standing there, he agreed with the artist and wondered how they knew or if they too understood...

"That one." He spoke, his soft alto voice firm still staring at the heavy handed painting. His blue gaze jumped to the store owner, "can you bring it down?"

"Uh, sure."

Kankuro frowned, "not sure Suna covers artwork for their _ninjas_."

"I should have enough." Gaara's delicate fingers went into the pouch at his thigh and then again into the pocket on his right A-cup breast. Annoying clothing was not nearly as functional as his normal garments. But, still… _useful_.

"Is this everything?" The merchant asked, glancing around as the young lady placed her towels next to the anti-terrorist leader and ninja teacher.

"Yes."

"Yes."

Both replied.

Kankuro paid for everything but the artwork, which Gaara made a showing of counting money and pulling from multiple pockets for.

"Thank you, please come again!" The shop-man saw them out the door.

"We don't have much time. Hopefully we can pick a rocker on the way." Kankuro ducked back into the alley and immediately Gaara used his sand to send everything to the house.

The rocking chair took the two no time at all. Kankuro purchased it without his brother's assistance allowing Gaara to return home.

The Kazekage stood in what would be her room. The hammock was hung with blankets and pillows upon it. On the other side near the closet door he had placed the hammer. He had picked up the aloe vera plant from his office and placed it in her window so it would have more light. Curtains framed either side, falling all the way to the floor. On her dresser was Kankuro's fairy dust and above it, across from the hammock, was the artwork he had selected. Turning, those three sketches of Asami's cat-thing were in the corner where he would put the rocking chair once Kankuro returned...

Standing there, Gaara felt the sand bracelet on her break. Immediately he wanted to go. Worse, Kankuro was not back.

As if fate was helping them, the door opened and his brother struggled through. "You could at least have gotten the door."

"You need to get to the hotel. She's done."

"Got it!" Kankuro spun on his heel and headed right back out.

Sand moved the rocker where it belonged and suddenly the time slowed. It ticked at a snail's pace forward.

Inhaling, Gaara checked the house again. Twice over, everything was still all in place. Stress in his chest motivated him to walk out the sliding glass doors. In his fully fenced area among his pots of cacti, he inhaled again. She had been dead. He had assumed her to be dead. And now, now she was here - would soon be here.

"Kurokawa. I'll pay back the debt but it is not debt that motivates me. I would have done this all regardless."

His gaze landed upon one of his cacti that was not doing as well as the others, "I'm thankful you brought her back."

Guilt rose up within him. He had cursed the death god for the pain he had caused her in bringing her back, and here he was thankful. He and that ogre were no different. But somehow, he'd make it up to her.

The door knocked and immediately his sand reformed him in front of it. With a turn of the handle he opened it up.

"Dude," Kankuro commented, carrying yet again a rocker. "And there's three bags plus five trunks. The Matsuokas seemed to have wanted to make sure she had basically everything she could even possibly need."

"Good." Warmth filled Gaara at the thought that she had been taken care of.

"Says you who didn't carry them all here." Kankuro set down the chair and then went back out.

Gaara leaned to look out the door. Yumi, hood up, eye patch on, scarf over her face, long shawl sleeves down her arms, stood watching with the slightest of brightness in the single visible eye. Sand was on her skirts implying she had fallen.

Kankuro carried three bags and with long strides, walked past to place them in her room.

"Did she fall?"

"Nooo. _Comment_." Kankuro half ducked as rushed back for the trunks.

Gaara narrowed his gaze on his brother, before softening it returning his eyes to her. She just stood there, though her body language while hesitant seemed to want to come in.

Stepping forward, her eye finally saw him. The previous hope within it now glowed and from the movement of the scarf it looked like she was almost smiling. Her chest rose as she took a large inhale. Nervousness fluttered through her hands as she grasped and regrasped her own her skirt before she finally put her left into her right's sleeve. On the sand of her arm he could feel her touch it before her had settled on that bracelet. A complicated feeling filled him at the thought of it. That sand, she valued so much, _hadn't_ protected her as he had intended. But instead, it had ended up dyed a rusted red in _her blood_. There had to be a way he could convince her to let him have it, remove the reminder of when he had thought she died. Of how all this came to be-

Her single eye started to reflect uncertainty, again as she read too much into his own expression. Gaara remembered Kankuro's words, maybe he should practice his sand mask more. Again he softened, pushing away the storm that brewed as Kankuro had after they had briefly talked of Asami.

With a warm tone, he finally spoke. "Please," affected, her head tipped up at his voice. "Come in."

She bobbed her head, glanced to Kankuro who was still getting her trucks, and then began to walk. Her walk held a sway from her limp but her eye stayed perfectly attentive to what was ahead, to him. Gaara backed up a few steps. For a moment he thought of stepping forward and embracing her. Of putting his head on hers. But that lingering hesitancy in her eye halted him. Hiiro was not the same as Yumi. And no matter how she was, how they were about to be- he'd _just accept it._

As if to prove the point of difference, she stopped the moment she entered the door way. She studied him again and turned to Kankuro. Silence filled the house as she did not speak. Yumi would have talked by now. Maybe shuffled nervously, stood straight, or came in completely relaxed at at home. But Hiiro stopped right at the edge of the entrance her gaze flipping between uncertainty, inconfidence, hope, and, in the briefest of moments, trust.

Kankuro having finished placing the last of the trunks in her room, walked over. Loudly he clapped off his hands, turning her head. As he approached, her feet stepped slightly so the three of them made a triangle.

"Well, I'm going to say I'm done here." His brother glanced at him. In his eyes he declared that things would end up good, that he believed in him, them.

Then with the kindest of smiles his brother turned to Yumi, "It is great to see you again, Yumi." Without request, he hugged her, _again_. Again he half picked her up further complicating the feelings within Gaara. He watched as Yumi's arms again didn't go around his brother. Again she didn't speak. Carefully observing, Gaara couldn't tell if she liked his brother's hug or not. He too wanted to hug her but he dared not. She was not the same. A nervousness on if he would still love her flicked through him, but he snuffed it out with the thought that it didn't matter, he'd _accept_ _however she was _regardless of what he missed or felt.

"Th-th-th-thank you." Her stuttered brought Gaara's thoughts back to the present. His brother had already placed her back down and stepped back from her.

"Anytime." Kankuro patted her hood as if she was a dog before exiting.

Waiting, giving her time, Gaara just stood there silent. Her single eye watched Kankuro leave, her neck twisting as she did. The moment the door clicked, her gaze was back on him.

He studied her hood, her scarf, her gloves. "The sun's set and we are indoors. I meant what I said when I told you I do not mind how you look, nor find you ugly at all. We all have scars, Yumi, some of us just carry them inside."

Her head cocked at his words. "Y-you… Do you… Uh," Her single eye studied him equally as interested. "I mean.. Do you… _have scars_." her tone turned to a whisper as if they were speaking about something that could overhear them. As if she didn't want something to _overhear them._

"I have a few on me, one very noticeable." Gaara purposefully brought his hand up to his heart and across his shoulder where Kurokawa's water arrow had carved itself in, barely sparing his life. "And a number within." He tapped his chest. "They can't be seen but do very much affect me."

Her green eye narrowed, "_really_?"

"Yes." He confirmed and her head bobbed in understanding

Her gaze then turned away from him. Her eye jumped from item to item the room as her head turned before, finally, _timidly, _she found her way back to him. A storm was again reflected, shadowed by her hood.

"And," her tone held hope that coated pain, "And... It ...really won't- Um." Her hand went up under her hood and he could see her brush back her bangs. "Uh, it really-" Again she repeated her tell. "Um, it... you won't-" Her voice twisted worse, a fear Gaara had heard from her once before sounded itself in her tone.

_Aren't you bothered by it_? She had asked him back then, both her green eyes glossy while her tone thick with pain. He hadn't noticed it from her exterior - her normal stance and movements nor dress with her pony tail high, her arms wrapped, had given him no hint to the thoughts she had while she hid far away from camp, doing patrol rounds. But, to find out about Salt- _No, not Salt,_ Gaara corrected himself. To have everyone step back from her- That had twisted her up, made her stutter, and eventually cry. And he remembered, hugging her had made her cry even worse causing him to be at a loss back then... And now, he still wasn't sure. But he knew, he knew what she was asking. _Aren't you bothered by it too?_

"No," his voice finally sounded thick speaking to both her before him and her back then. "No, I'm not bothered Yumi." His teal gaze met her single green, letting her see just how true he meant those words. "I'll never be bothered by you... And, I would actually prefer it if I could see your face."

Her motion stilled, her eye on him.

They stood their both studying the other, _silent_.

Then in the shortest of movements her head vibrated up and down in a constant, tiny, yes.

Her head tilted down, her eyes to her toes. With both hands she brought her hood down. The charcoal hair randomly scattered with white thin strands bounced free, still very well styled. She brushed her gloved fingers through it before unwinding her scarf. Her soft cheeks and still as stubborn as ever chin showed themselves. Gaara's gaze brushed only briefly over the scaring. Her gloved hands then removed the eye patch, her eyes still not looking up.

Finally she took off her gloves, and then surprisingly her shawl, revealing her arms and the pattern that was on them as well. She held the ball of cloth in her hands, awkwardly, nervously.

With a single graceful movement he placed his hand out to her to take them. Without words and still not looking up she passed them to him, much like how she had done with the medical papers.

Gaara couldn't deny how it hurt to see the patterns across her skin - stab marks, cuts, shredding, clawing, torn... Scars that never existed before and the red bracelet a tell of how badly he had failed. But, she lived and they were mark of her survival, her strength. And with it being her, though different... he could never dislike the sight of her, however she was. However she wanted to be.

"Here," He spoke wishing for her to understand he would not judge her nor ever be bothered. "Dress however you like. However you are comfortable. But I do like to be able to see your face, Yumi. ..._Hiiro_."

Her gaze raised up slowly to met his own again. She studied him as a smile started to creep onto her lips. Her head bobbed again. But then uncertainty clouded her gaze, "People don't-"

"I'm not people. I'm me."

Something about that brought that smile he knew back. "Yes," She grinned as if the world was good, _"Sabaku no Gaara."_

His name on her lips, made it nearly impossible to breathe. Only with the slightest of nods he responded.

"Y-y-you…" Her voice sounded again. "You… said th-th-tha-that…" She stuttered, her eyes split between focused on him and half glancing about. "Um, you said that I… that I have a room."

Encouragement entered the Kazekage's soul, "Yes."

Her eyes widened as if right up unto this moment she hadn't fully believed it to be true. Again her head bobbed in response.

"Here," he turned and walked to show her what she had come for. What he hoped she'd like... "You may not remember it, but I hope it still feels like home."

_Thud_.

Gaara cursed himself. Turning back, he found that she had half ran into the wall at his words.

"Ah," She brushed the leg she had hit. "So-sorry. Sorry."

"I just," she continued again, looking everywhere but him. "I just, uh, I... You said... "_Home_." Her head went up and her eyes met his own. "This is home." She repeated. Again, with a new gaze, she glanced about the living room and towards the kitchen. "My home... Our home- With you? As... As roommates?"

His teal eyes met her mix matched ones. "Yes," his chest hurt. _Roommates_

But then, with his every fiber, every grain of sand, he spoke the words he should have said so many times before. "Welcome home."

Her gaze studied his before she just silently bobbed her head again.

Gaara turned and walked to the door that was open. "This is your room."

Again her eyes widened. She quickly traced his steps, her skirts swaying with her limp.

"Ah," She gasped. Gaara stared, not at the room, but her. Yumi's eyes did not go to the hammock nor the rocker. They were focused slowly on Asami's cat-thing. "_Kuro_."

Pain and sorrow were woven together in her voice as she stepped slowly forward. "I-" She started and stopped. "I…" Her tone lowered again to a watery whisper, "I have sketches of Kuro." It cracked.

Unknowing of what would be right, Gaara let a bit of his sand go out. I wrapped about her arm gently and her other hand immediately went to it. Feeling the sand, her feet stopped.

"I have sketches of Kuro." She repeated more clearly. Her head turned towards the dresser and landed on Kankuro's fairy dust. Her hand lifted from his sand and went to the jar. She picked it up. The glowing dots swirled as she inspected it before setting it back down.

Then her gaze went up to the art work he had purchased. For longer than she had looked at the sketches, she stared at it.

"This is my room." She spoke and turned back to him, almost as if she had found peace.

"Yes." Gaara answered her and then asked what he needed to know. "Do you like it?"

Her chest rose in an inhale as she smiled, "Yes."

Her entire frame stood taller, happier, more resolute. Her eyes went to the hammock, then the art work, Kankuro's fairy dust, and finally back to the corner with the rocking chair and the sketches. Then she focused on the window. "It's everything I- _I didn't even know to think of._ And, I even have a plant."

"Yes." Gaara repeated, gladness washing through him. Every grain felt lighter and more warm.

_They hadn't picked wrong.__ He hadn't picked wrong_.

She continued to study the room, her awed gaze showing cherish and joy.

"How about we finish the house tour in the morning? It's been a long day and you may want to rest."

Her mixed-matched eyes jumped back to him.

"Will you-" she hesitated. Uncertainty turned to brokenness right before him. "Will-" Strain coated her voice as her eyebrows wrinkled together and a frown of distress curled upon her face.

"We'll eat together and tour the house. I have tomorrow off." Gaara lied. With long hours, he could get most of tomorrow's work done tonight and use a clone in his place tomorrow. He would manage it, could manage it.

Her head bobbed. Her eyes studied him quietly before her head tilted just the slightest. "You, you are probably tired as well?"

There was something in her tone he couldn't quite place. But wanting her to get her rest, he answered in the affirmative. "Yes."

"Alright, her head bobbed."

"The bathroom if you need it is right over here, and the kitchen with cups and water there."

She followed his gestures before looking back at him.

Neither spoke.

What should he say? Good night? I've missed you? I'm glad you were brought back? Which name should I be calling you?

"Thank you." Her voice sounded. "Thank you" she repeated.

His hand went to her face before he realized what he was doing. Drawing it back down, he stiffened briefly. "Good night Yumi, Hiiro. Sleep well."

Gaara turned and put a single light on in the kitchen before shutting off the others.

In the dark he saw her still watching him.

"If you need anything. Anything at all. My bedroom is upstairs."

He couldn't see her nod but he felt it.

With a nod of his own, he climbed up the stairs and then opened his own door.

It closed behind him, but no so loudly that he hadn't heard her.

"_Good night Sabaku no Gaara."_

_..._

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**Dun, dun dun.**

**Thoughts!? Predictions? Ideas on what tomorrow will bring for our two star crossed lovers?**

**As normal - please, oh please, review! ^-^**

**And thank you as always!**


	17. Chapter 17: Half Strangers

**Things I never really wanted to write about - Character insert (see Yumi as a kid chapters), tragedy, angst, amnesia... Things I've all have or currently written about (glances over not-wanting-to-write list). WTF! Author fail...**

**Anyway welcome back. This is one of the fastest chapters I've written. **

**Hope you enjoy**

**\- Rain**

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Gaara rubbed his neck. Exhaustion pulled about his eyes. He had finished everything he needed to do this morning. Reports, memos, orders were stacked on the appropriate desks back at the office. Walking silently up the stairs he figured he'd take about an hour nap before making some tea.

Passing Yumi's door he glanced over. Again his heart hurt. During one of his midnight runs, he had used his sand eye to check that she was sleeping. Seeing that she was, he had decided to enter her room…

* * *

Silently, he had opened her door. With skills of a ninja, he stepped without sound or presence. She was curled on her side, shorts and tank top were ruffled under the chunky knit blanket. A bare foot stuck out over the extra wide slightly swaying hammock towards the wall. She hugged a pillow with charcoal locks a mop about her head.

The hammock slowed to a stop as he gazed.

"_Why didn't you take my chakra and heal yourself?_" He had once asked, but immediately her rebuttal came, claiming she wasn't a parasite, wouldn't be a parasite. Except this time, he wasn't going to give her a choice.

Gaara slowly crept forward towards the still hammock. Hope that she'd be able to heal and that she'd remember, both stirred within him.

Hiiro's fingers and then arm moved, freezing his motion. Her eyes opened exhaustedly. Her head tilted up towards the wall just a bit. Her foot off the hammock reached out as her leg extended. Under the glow of the window and Kankuro's fairy dust, he watched the jagged long scars reveal themselves as her leg emerged from under the blanket. Her bare foot touched the wall and she bumped herself and the hammock back, withdrawing her foot, nearly half falling out. With the swing, she re-curled up as her eyes reclosed. Again she fell back to sleep, that foot still sticking out off the edge.

The Kazekage frowned. She hadn't sensed him at all… Maybe once she stole chakra from him that too would return.

Gaara drew some of his sand forward. Carefully, he moved it towards her before a small stream gently floated in the air closing the rest of the distance. It touched her arm. _Nothing_

Then her face… _Nothing._

Then it _caressed _her on its own.

With a whip of his hand, Gaara knocked that off. The hammock's sway slowed.

But still, there had been nothing. He frowned before directing the sand to go against her arm again. In full contact, in full holding contact- Nothing happened.

It did not fall.

It did not ripple.

She, dead tired, did not even wake…

Narrowing his eyes, Gaara pushed all his _useless _sand back to where it came. Frustration chiseled through him at the failure, but he wasn't out of options yet. Needing to help her, he silently walked forward. The hammock had stilled. Silently, he reached his hand out.

He jumped back into the shadows. Her eyes had fluttered. Then, if on repeat, her foot moved. Again she pushed against the wall. Again the hammock swayed. Again her eyes shut. And again she slept.

Gaara's eyebrows were wrinkled as he studied her. His teal eyes went to the rocker he had purchased as his mind flashed to the second one Kankuro had brought in. In her things was also a harsh rope hammock laying on top of one of her trunks. Still… he had another matter to attend to.

Without a sound, he again stalked forward. His hand gently moved out.

His fingers touched her exposed arm.

_Nothing_.

Removing his hand, he then traced the curve of her cheek with his fingertips. _Nothing_.

He even brushed her bangs back. _Nothing_.

His chakra was not rapidly be pulled from him. His consciousness was not immediately lost. There wasn't even a ripple in and out of her. His sand had not even peeled back.

_Nothing_.

A rock formed at the pit of Gaara's stomach. Exhaling he stepped back. The hammock again began to slow and he saw the traces of awaking beginning to happen on her features yet again. With a wave of his hand he directed sand to continue its motion. This time her foot curled further back under the chunky knit blanket. Her face nestled into the pillow. And as if she hadn't been sleeping well for a long time, she sank deeper into slumber.

Gaara studied her. His eyes searching. Was this a seal?

Part of him wanted to hope again, but there was none on her skin. None on any reports.

_Nothing_

Gaara didn't dare breathe as he watched the hammock sway back and forth.

He wanted to refuse the only thought left.

_Was Salt gone?_

_Had the Oni destroyed it? _

Or had it sacrificed itself for Yumi?

"_She's like a Lichen"_ Ino confidently stood before him having wormed her way into his schedule when he most definitely did not want to see her, nor Shikamaru, and certainly not his sister Temari.

"_Lichen are two organisms that need each other to survive, Lichens without either of those two organisms isn't a lichen anymore…" Ino explained_

"_More than that, for Yumi, they bleed into each other subconsciously. Even I was bled into by Salt. When Salt took over, I felt as if I shouldn't talk about an ability I don't have. I felt anxiety about being considered a parasite. I worried about it and I can't even take chakra! It's as basic as even feeling hungry when I wasn't hungry but Salt was wanting…" Ino's hand went to her chest pleading for him to understand what he hadn't right away. At first Yumi's ability was a rouge, untrained ability, then it was something similar to a demon to him - like Kurama and Shukaku. But now, Ino was describing it as something completely more intertwined and primal._

"_Salt can influence Yumi?" At first nervousness that Yumi only cared for him because Salt had taken his demon's chakra stirred within him. But then he felt confident- maybe that would help their relationship for if Salt wanted his chakra then Yumi would stay with him. A twisted sense of security murmured through him._

"_Yea, but only strong feelings like hunger, protecting, fatally threatened, or the idea of being rejected by Yumi. Everything else… not quite as much." Ino removed the security, again complicating his thoughts._

"_What makes her different than the exploding unstable ones?" He frowned._

"_I don't know-" Ino's gaze held concern._

"_I… never once thought of myself as two. But now I don't quite feel like one anymore either... I-I just don't know what to think… But I… I never felt unstable… I'm __**not **__unstable. And I know I would never kill everything around me. But… I also know that I'm- I'm a parasite..."_

Back then, he had wanted to tell her she wasn't a parasite, that Salt was. But that had been the answer to how she had survived. Kurokawa protected her and let her grow as one. Yumi had gone with Salts inklings because she believed it was her own gut instinct and tenacity and then when she learned it was Salt, she still did not break from the trust and habits that had been built through her life. And Salt...well Ino had described Salt as primal so out of survival and maybe care, Salt had woven into Yumi?

But now… In the dark of the room... Gaara just stood there staring at the person before him wondering.

The scar on her cheek seemed to move as the hammock swayed in the dim lighting. Completely unknowing of his presence, she slept.

The gut wrenching thought was slowly inching its way through his veins and soul. Was Yumi still Yumi without Salt? If a lichen needed both organisms to be what it was, then what about her?

Closing his eyes, his heart and head both hurt.

_Yumi_.

He fell into sand, leaving her room. His sand teleported him back to his desk in the Kazekage's office. Tsunade. Ino. Tomohisa. He wrote out letters to those three.

It was as if he had just lost her all over again.

* * *

_Light_, Hiiro's eyes opened.

She expected to smell the ocean. And, see Kuro at her feet. Instead she was in a room that smelled of sand.

Blinking awake, her gaze landed on that painting, the one that rang deep within her soul.

_You are not a drop in the ocean.  
You are the ocean in a drop_.

Inhaling, Hiiro didn't feel sorrow that she wasn't by the ocean. She didn't feel the overwhelming grief of Kuro being gone. Instead, she felt oddly rested albeit a little down.

And it was then that Hiiro realized... the hammock was still rocking. Surprised, she sat up. It still swayed.

_Like magic._ Hiiro's eyes widened as she sat with the chunky knit blanket on her lap and the tank half up her torso.

Carefully, she turned sideways. Glancing to the floor she watched it move beneath her. Scooting a bit further, she placed one toe on the ground. The hammock stopped.

Hiiro raised her foot; it rocked.

Putting the pad of her foot down, it stopped. She looked left towards the window and her lovely little plant, and then right towards the door.

Again she picked her foot up. Again it rocked. Just like that!

Humor inched its way through her. Smiling she did it a few more times. Up and down, back and forth. _Magic_.

This was her room.

Happy, Hiiro's gaze went to her sketches. Rising for real this time, she walked in her shorts and tank towards them. He, in all three, looked like he always did. Hissing, clicking, eyes ablaze. She smiled at him.

"Morning, Kuro. I made it back."

Taps responded. Hiiro's head went to the window. Jinkun and Hisa tapped a few more with the tips of their tails. Smoothly took the two steps and opened the latch. With a couple shoves, she managed it open, and then she gave them her hand. Hisa crawled on first followed by Jinkun. Hiiro put them to the top of her head before she muscled the window back down and relatched it shut. She closed the curtains, their color drawing her hand to smooth them out carefully.

Padding barefoot she walked to the closet next. A hamper sat next to it. Opening the door, a mirror assaulted her view. Automatically she stripped, dropping her clothes in the hamper. Then she placed on new underwear and a bra. The reflection of herself in the mirror on the inside of the closet door caught her eye. A scarred and marred young woman with soft rolls and mix-matched eyes stared back at her. Hiiro frowned at the person whose appearance bothered others, who couldn't even remember herself, who shouldn't be alive… a motion in the mirror drew her gaze up. Jinkun, in the reflection, waved to her.

Hiiro softened. He waved again. Lightly smiling, she waved back. Hisa, not to be out done, waved both pinches wildly. To which Hiiro replied with both hands, her smile growing unknown to her.

Better, she scanned the clothes that packed the closet. She should wear a long skirt, long sleeves, scarf, eye patch, hood-

"_I'd prefer to see your face."_ His voice in her head halted her thoughts.

"_However you want." _Her brain completely exploded.

Unsure, Hiiro scanned the garments again. A nervousness ticked through her. _Comfortable. _

A noise turned her head out of the closet towards the closed bedroom door. _He _was up. And suddenly she felt nude standing in her underwear in the closet of her room behind her closed door with her closed curtains. She needed to put on something and shower. Something, _however she wanted_.

She snapped back to her closet. Jinkun and Hisa tapped her skull gently and tugged her hair.

Her mix matched eyes glanced up. Unable to see them, she looked back to the mirror. "Do you want to sleep in here a bit?"

They pointed in the mirror to her hangers.

"Okay" She bobbed her head, bouncing them. Bringing her hand to them, they hopped on. Carefully she moved them over to the area they had pointed. The two crawled off and away.

Immediately emptiness swirled within her. She watched two scorpions almost needing them back. Every time they left her, even if it was to a place she knew, she felt this way.

Seeing her staring, Hisa's pinchers went into the air. He danced on the little hanger as Jinkun scurried down her dress into one of the many pockets. Hisa didn't follow but jumped to the side, then forward, and then back as he jigged.

Spinning- he fell.

"Oh!" Hiiro panicked rushing forward.

Hisa's little pincher caught her the tail end of a skirt. The fabric with him swung as Hiiro felt relief. She had almost lost him, but luckily he had saved himself. The fabric settled and Hisa began to climb back up. Seeing her again, he waved. Then clothing piece by clothing piece he made his way back to where Jinkun was.

Exhaling out her anxiety. Hiiro glanced across her clothing again. _"However you are_."

With the biggest of inhales Hiiro tugged on a dress she hadn't worn before. A dress she would never wear outside, a dress she had brushed off as not to be worn around others.

It was a simple wrap dress. One that she liked due to its basic color and soft texture. But with it being quarter-sleeve and only knee length she had always thought that she'd just have to wear it only when alone… however he had said, he had said it was okay. That he would be unbothered

It slipped off the hanger with ease. But in her hands, instead of excitement and confidence, Hiiro just felt _wrong._

She froze at the pit of emotions. Everything was supposed to be better once she found the Sandman. But nothing had become instantly better… She still felt empty. She still was marred. She still couldn't remember. She still thought she should have died. She suddenly felt unease over wearing the dress she wanted to…

In the books when home was finally found it was always happy ever after. But here she was and she wasn't even sure about a simple dress. Home - she felt like happily ever after wasn't for someone like her.

Hiiro's hand moved to put the wrap dress back, her gaze going to the longer ones and then her eye patch and scarf yet again. It was better if she just-

Then with an unsteady breath, she shook her head. _No_, she could do this. It was okay. Even if it was ugly, it was hers. Even if this wasn't good, she wasn't good, it was better.

Inhaling and exhaling slowly to regain her nerves and displace the depression within her. Hiiro carefully put on the wrap dress Jun had made, then she wrapped the stash snug about her waist.

A stranger now looked back at her with dead eyes.

Whistling of a kettle turned her head away from the person in the mirror. It called her feet forward towards the bedroom door. Like a mouse, she slowly cracked it open.

_Teal_. His head turned towards her immediately. His red hair messy. He wore black lounge pants and a long sleeve dark red shirt. His gaze glanced over her, as if needing to verify she existed. His eyes held warmth without hint of repulse or shock.

This look of his drew her all the way out. The dress hem brushed the skin at her knees as she moved.

"I didn't wake you, did I? It's only six-thirty, you may want to still sleep more." His eyes froze her feet in place.

"No, I-" A myriad of emotions assaulted her before she pushed them all back into the void within. "I awoke. I… I don't remember my room but it… it has to be mine because I actually slept well, right? The hammock even rocks." Remembering its magic, Hiiro felt herself smile. She almost wanted to go back and sit on it again.

His gaze turned complicated before he too smiled. "Yes. It's yours, Yumi, Hiiro…"

Gaara turned away back to the tea he was making. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see her face to ask a question he needed to know. "How-" His tone lowered, softer, "-would you like to be called? Salt Hiiro or Minawa Yumi?"

Hiiro stared at Sabaku's back. The question was almost identical to when Jun had asked her what she wanted to be called, and suddenly that feeling of numbness and brokenness came with it too. "I-" She her mind paused. Silence overtook her soul, how did she want to be called? Did it even matter for someone like her that would get no happy ending?

Her gaze still on him, her eyes just blankly watched as he made tea. _Jun_, Hiiro missed the elder woman.

In the silence, Jun's words and love of tea murmured to her. "Um, can I… may I… have a cup too?"

Gaara turned at the sound of her spiritless tone. Suddenly he felt like a demon again- someone that just scared others off. Internally frowning at himself, he answered her. "Yes. Come. Sit." He gestured to the table and then turned back to the kitchen for a second cup.

Watching his broad back. Hiiro walked straight- Into back of the couch! Her arms went up as her body suddenly jolted back. Landing hard on the floor, her head hit the wall with a light thud. "Ouf"

Gaara's head whipped about so fast his neck hurt. _How_?

He hadn't even thought of anything near her right now being a fall or trip hazard!

Before his eyes Hiiro used the couch to get back up. Embarrassment and self-deprivation clearly showed on her face as her gaze went to the floor, away from him.

"Hurt anything?" His eyes scanned her for blood or bruises.

Her head shook no silently, again looking further away. As if she was hiding something from him, her hand went behind the couch.

Untrusting, Gaara marched across the room. Easily he went around the couch, straight to her. His gaze searched for any sign of harm on her with his every step.

"I-I didn't break or dent anything." Her hands came up to the couch to smooth it out as if that was what was important.

"Are _you_ hurt anywhere?" Not matching his tone, his hand gently touched her arm.

Embarrassed, Hiiro shook her head no. The man before her frowned, that hand of his went to her chin and up the left side of her face, tracing it softly. Then it fell back to his side suddenly, as if he had never touched her at all.

"I thought you not wearing that eye patch would help. If it's okay with you, I'd like my sand armor to stay on you all the time. Is that okay? Fujimoto mentioned physical therapy, but until then it may help."

Gaara watched as her gaze unfocused, her mind turning in on herself and from the expression of her face whatever she was internalizing was neither kind nor positive.

"Yumi. Hiiro." He called both her names and she came back to him.

She just stood there before him with an uncertain, doubtful, but also warm gaze. Her expression was a mix of emotions that he didn't know how to reply to because she wasn't how she used to be.

"Come," he reached out to her hand. "Tea is ready."

Hiiro stared at her hand; her hand was being held by his hand… Her mind folded over and over as she tried to remember. Friends and roommates- they had to have held hands before at least once or twice. Even his brother hugged her so familiarly. But she recalled nothing of it. And yet, while so unfamiliar, his larger hand seemed to fit perfectly with hers.

"Sit." He let go

"Thank you." Hiiro glanced to this man who most certainly was not 6 years old anymore.

"Hn." He turned and grabbed the two tea filled cups.

"Here," Gaara suddenly got a premonition of her pouring hot tea all over herself, "Careful. It's hot." Mentally he made a note to brew it cooler.

"Ah, thank you." She repeated, her hands cupped around the sides of the teacup but did not actually touch it.

That action pleased him. Her not spilling it down herself pleased him.

"Um," Hiiro decided to speak, seeing his considerate and unreactive expression. Maybe he, having been her roommate and friend, would understand- "I, uh. I picked Salt because I could taste it. When I woke up…" Her gaze went down to the tea. ".. I just… I just was up. I didn't care that I was up, but Jun wanted to know what to call me and being by the ocean, I picked Salt... She… she said it's a good surname." Hiiro turned her head away, uncertain of how he would look at her that picked such a commodity's name.

"It is a good name."

Immediately her eyes met his, needed to meet his. She took in all of him as part of her doubted.

Gaara repeated himself, "it is a good name."

Warmth filled her, "I… I didn't' really pick Hiiro though. I wore a reddish dress that day and since I named Kuro black cause he was kinda black, I said maybe we should use the color I wore for me too... Jun knew so many reds. And back then, when I… uh… I didn't… I was… um... Matsuoka called it Catatonic…" Uselessness floated through Hiiro, but then she perked back up. Her gaze returned to him. "But! Even that way- I named Kuro his name, right?" She softly smiled before continuing on. "And even though I picked Salt and I... _don't like the color red_… I picked Hiiro… I picked them both like I had for Kuro so... So over time I kinda hoped… I hoped that I got that right too."

But she hasn't… Hiiro down casted look settled on the still steamy tea.

"I'll call you Salt Hiiro then." Gaara studied Yumi's lost and vulnerable gaze as she stared into her teacup.

Her head went side to side. "I… I wasn't trying to say that." Her eyes went up to him again.

Hiiro licked her bottom lip, and instead of salt, she tasted sand. "When the doctor said Minawa Yumi, it-it meant nothing to me. But that was true for Salt Hiiro too. So I don't care which name you want to use Sabaku. I'm just grateful." Her head turned all the way back to her room, her torso twisting to accommodate. Staring at it, she smiled and then looked back to him. "I'm just _really_ grateful to you."

Gaara stared at her familiar and yet unfamiliar face. So much had changed, she, without her memories, was changed. "Yumi is what's natural for me to call you. But I'll use Hiiro too. And maybe even _Salt_." He purposefully accented that name to see if she reacted any different.

But she just smiled with no hint of recollection. Her fingers moved even closer to the cup.

Suddenly her gaze flicked up to him filled with hope. "Do you, do you think you could tell me a few things. I remember some but only small pieces. Like you dropping your medicine."

"I can try. You left Suna and returned later so while you told me a number of stories, I don't know everything."

Hiiro nodded in understanding. Finally feeling the cup cool enough, she clasped it with both hands and then slowly brought it to her lips.

Gaara studied Yumi as she carefully sipped the tea he had made. Her gaze was unfocused, again she was thinking about something. He waited, giving her time to decide what or which she wanted to ask him about.

The dress she had chosen to wear was proof she had heard him yesterday. But it was not something that he had ever seen Yumi in before. Right above the edge of the table, the triple wrapped bright sash about her waist was visible. Quarter-length sleeves showed her arms, allowing for that red bracelet as well as the deep veined slice marks to be seen. And when she had come out of the room, he had also noticed it was knee length allowing him to see the scars on her calves and even her feet. It was good she was more comfortable with him to no longer hide out of fear of his reaction...

Picking up his own tea cup with only one finger and his thumb, he drank. She in silence just kept sipping. So he continued to study her discreetly. Her grayed eye was slightly darker than the lavender color of Hinata's and more marbled. There was a tint of blue within its gray coloring. And if it wasn't for the scaring about it, her gaze would have looked like normal heterochromia with one forest green and the other a gray-blue.

Wanting to frown, Gaara kept his sand expressionless. Yumi would have smiled by now or broken the silence. She would have asked if he wanted something to eat. Instead of slipping slowly, she would have downed the tea by now. Instead of being seated with both feet on the floor, Yumi would have been cross legged on the chair, half hunched over with a far more masculine like posture that she had obviously learned from the much larger Kurokawa...

Gaara's chest began to feel funny… Yumi, Hiiro, was not the same. In fact much of Yumi's new disposition was unrecognizable to him. Only a few parts were familiar, but still, so much was _different_. Instead of being expressive, she now was unresponsive. Instead of being quick to action, she was slow or worse frozen. Her gaze stormed silently, rather than her mouth chattering aimlessly. Even how she stood, moved, and sat was _different_.

That itchy feeling within him grew.

Clearing his throat, he set his now empty cup down. "Do you, have something you wish to ask me?"

A topic would be better than this. Something that would allow them to get to know each other again.

Her gaze refocused back. Uncertainty, doubt, apprehension all reflected within her eyes and across her face.

Gaara frowned. Was he a monster again to her?

_No_, he pushed that aside. Trauma and injury affected more than just the body; hadn't he been the one to say that to her? Glancing to the clock, he spoke again. "You asked if I could fill in a few things for you. Which would you like to know?"

Both her eyes reacted, widening. Her head immediately shook no. "I- I changed my mind. I'm okay… I don't… I don't _want_ to know anymore right now… This is," her tone warmed as a smile naturally began to form. "This is good enough."

Her hands set the single cup down, it too empty.

"Aren't you curious-" "-No!"

Hiiro interrupted him harsher than she meant to. Her body had even jerked back afraid. Shocked at her own reaction she leaned forward into a more normal position. "I... I didn't mean to yell."

Her gaze searched his. He hadn't reacted to her shout, more just returned to the comfortable silence that filled every space around them. His teal eyes again waited _for her_.

"I just…" if she said it out loud, what would he think? He who knew her but she who knew so little of him. She probably seemed like a fool trying to hold-on to the air itself. "When I woke up, I didn't remember anything at all. I didn't have any favorites, no inclinations, no hopes, not even sorrow over what I had lost. I just _existed_. So Jun would have me read books that I didn't care about. Or taste different teas, treats, foods. And try different things... I… I like the color teal, light teal." She glanced up at him. His eyes were light teal.

"But I," she hesitated as her gaze went to his hair, "don't like the color red. And I like ginger snap cookies and rhubarb tea. I like gardening too," Her gaze went towards one of the windows, "I even wanted to have a garden on the beach, in the sand… And, I've remember some things. Only _a few_ things. Like coming to Suna, working at a spa, meeting up with you when we were kids…" Her hand naturally went on to the red bracelet that was on her wrist, the one _he_ _had tried to take away. _Not looking at him, she gathered up all her courage. "This is all I have."

Loss, emptiness, bleakness expanded through her lungs and all the way down to her toes. "I'd… I'd like to know more." Hope crept into the mix. "But," Hiiro's gaze went back to him, him who knew _her_. The _her_ that she herself didn't know. "But, I can't lose what I have. _I,_" her voice strained, "_it_" she corrected, "can't be wrong…"

Hiiro's gaze fell to the empty cup. She hadn't even remembered her own name so what if, what if everything else she had come to pick and choose, and _remember_, what if that was all wrong too? Then she'd just be an empty, wrong, shell again.

"You have here too."

His voice drew her gaze back up.

"Of the things you have. You have here too." A resolute look in his teal eyes had replaced the previously complicated gaze. "And myself," he added. "And Kankuro, my brother."

His eyes went up to the ceiling briefly as his arms crossed. Then his head tilted back down towards her. "Though, if you do not like his hugs you need to say something. He means well but often blurs bounds."

Gaara studied this Yumi, Salt Hiiro, which sat before him. Her eyes now again held hope, awe, and warmth. Part of him could understand having so little that it felt impossible to survive without it. When he lost his uncle to his father's order, it had broken him. How could he do the same to her?

His gaze swept Hiiro over again. "You never answered my question."

"Question?" Confusion compounded within Hiiro. What question had she missed?

"If it's okay for my sand armor to be on you at all times."

"_Oh_," Warmth flooded through her. Immediately her head bobbed, "yes. That's okay."

"Good." With a wave, sand went to her again. Again it crept under her clothes and layered across her skin.

Hiiro picked her hand up and stared at it. Being sand coated looked no different than being not, but it felt different. Just knowing it was there, made her feel different. Gently she brushed her finger across her own skin and down a scar. Just barely she could feel the grains protecting her.

"Would you like them hidden?" His voice sounded in the air as her gaze was still on her own arm.

Before her eyes, the scar vanished. The scars on her other hand and up her arm vanished. Leaning back and looking down, the scars on her feet and calves had vanished. Shocked and uncertain, Hiiro ran a hand on her face to find it smooth with sand. Then she looked back at the arm that _had been hers._

Fear suddenly retched itself tightly across her ribs. It choked itself into her heart.

_Fake_

_Fake_

_Fake_

The moon, if it found out, it would not forgive.

_Fake._

"Or not," the sand pulled back revealing the scars that she knew so well. "How you look, scars and all, is fine. I told you before, here I'd like you to be however you want, whatever is comfortable. I just-" he hesitated, causing her eyes to flick up to his, "want you to have _choices_."

Numb from the emotional whiplash, Hiiro slowly just nodded stunned. _Choices_, echoed within her.

"Um," Without knowing why, Hiiro suddenly needed to stand. She needed to do something, _for him_.

"Uh, your cup." Her gaze focused down to the table. "Our cups are- empty. Um, would you… would you like another cup of tea? I can pour it." She looked to the kitchen where the pot sat. "Uh, if that's okay?"

"Yes it is. And I wouldn't mind a second cup."

Hiiro felt herself grin, nearly ear to ear. "Okay."

Her bare feet softly padded across the smooth floor quickly. Moving to the counter top where the tea kettle sat, she felt the flare of the wrap dress brush against her knees.

_Choices_.

In one of her trucks, fearful to lose it, she had tucked away the gifted tea box Jun had given her. Would he like to try some of them or his brother? Careful she picked up the pot and turned. Not wishing to spill, she focused on her steps and holding it steady. And she remembered exactly what Jun taught her.

Gaara subtly watched her out of the corner of his eye. As she approached her demeanor changed. She moved and spoke as if this was a semi-formal tea ceremony. A soft warm smile lightened her movements while her mis-matched eyes reflected honor and reminiscence. Then with the same integrity she poured her own.

Wishing to avoid any burn incidents, Gaara waited until she placed the kettle down and until she returned to her chair. "Would you tell me a bit about when you were in tea country?"

Immediately the warmth about her dropped and that wooden hesitancy came back. "Uh, well… I didn't remember anything-"

"No, I meant to hear about what you did. You…" Gaara hesitated, she had enjoyed being with the Matsuokas right? Uncertainty caused him to change his statement so that maybe she would understand, "I'd just like you to talk, if you feel comfortable."

Hiiro felt weird at his words. He wanted her to just talk? She was just a shell of a person, and he already knew her… but looking at the expression he had hidden behind a stoic mask, Hiiro tried to think. She had to have something to talk about…

"Um in Tea Country… Matsuokas live on the edge of the ocean. There's a cliff that you can stand on and, and feel the ocean breeze. Kuro didn't like it very much but I'd go onto the sand every day and I wanted to go into the sea but I can't swim… Um, anyway, most days there, I helped Jun. Not remembering anything, she taught me what I know now. Gardening, a little, dying cloth, sewing to make tea, pour it, how to set the cup. She said it that was really important and I enjoyed most of the teas... She'd say tea refreshes the mind so we took a lot of breaks drinking tea. She was older and I was injured so I, uh, think we took a lot of breaks anyway but morning, midmorning, noon, and afternoon she'd have tea or tea and some food. She was really proud of the teas and knowing how to make tea from plants we collected. Do you… do you drink tea?"

Hiiro asked the question before even thinking.

Immediately embarrassment flushed through her remembering she had just poured him tea.

"Um, I mean- I know that you, I just meant uh- I was asking if… I mean I know you drink tea, I just poured it..." Dumb she shut her mouth as embarrassment flooded her in spades.

"I enjoy tea as well. I have it a couple times a day." Gaara still answered. Her embarrassed actions settled with his single sentence. Seeing that they were strangers, he decided to elaborate. "Simple black, Houjicha green tea, maybe Hibiscus ginger."

"This is simple black, right?" She brought the cup to her lips.

"Yes." He watched her drink before he too sipped at the cup she had poured.

In silence they both sat. Slowly drinking the well brewed black tea.

Setting the empty cup back down, Gaara glanced again towards the time and then back to you. "Shall I give you a tour now or are you hungry?"

Both her hands set the cup back down. "I'm not hungry."

With a nod he rose, he took his cup and hers as well as the kettle. In a few simple motions he washed all three items out and set them up to dry. "Alright," He spoke to himself quietly. Stepping back, he glanced back to her. "Obviously this is the kitchen. Cups," he opened up a cabinet, "dishes, silverware, water, pans, utensils, food. Feel welcome to go through anything here and use anything here. Okay?"

Her head slowly bobbed.

"Dining table, living room. I don't use the TV much so use it however you like. There's a DVD player. Chair. Couch-" Suddenly Gaara remembered watching movies with her side by side. "Ehm," he cleared his throat. "If you are going to invite people here, please let me know ahead of time."

Hearing no response, he glanced to her. Yumi was looking at him as if it was suspicious that she would invite people over.

"You may end up remembering more or remaking friends." He decided to clarify for her.

"I-" She frowned, "They didn't have a tv or dvd player…"

"_I don't think I've ever watched one before_" She had muttered back when he was following Asami's advice on how to show interest in her.

Maybe if they did something that they had done before, she'd remember?

"We could… watch a movie together." The words felt awkward, like asking a stranger and not knowing how they would respond. Her gaze on him, made it feel even more off. "I mean, we used to."

With no recognition, she just repeated his words. "We used to?"

"Yeah." Gaara turned back to the tea cups and kettle behind him that needed absolutely nothing done with them.

"I-I-I don't remember." Strain reflected in her voice before it perked up slightly, "but I'd like that. What… what, uh what type of movies did we wa-watch?"

Less uncomfortable, Gaara turned back having pretended to dry the cups further. "Horror."

From the look on her face, he immediately knew he had answered wrong even though it was the truth. This Minawa Yumi most definitely did **not **want to watch horror. From the fear, shock, and terror frozen into her every cell, it felt much like he had just slaughtered someone in front of her and threatened to do the same.

Both concerned and annoyed at her response, he spoke again. "We don't have to watch that though. We can watch anything."

The fear slowly resided out of her and Gaara fixed his mood and expression. His brother was right, his sand mask wasn't what it used to be. But he wasn't sure if it was him; it was her. Minawa Yumi had already worked her way under, over, and through his walls. Even if she was different, even if she was a stranger, part of him still wanted to treat her like it was her.

"Oh… kay…" she recovered slowly.

"Here, come." Needing to move, Gaara walked towards the sliding doors.

Automatically she followed behind.

He opened the door-

"Ah!" A noise occurred behind him causing him to glance back. Concern and nervousness plastered itself across her face, "I-I need to change."

As she backed up, his hand reached out. Gently he gripped her wrist to stop her retreat and save her from the chair that had somehow gotten itself placed as a perfect fall hazard behind her…

"I-"

"It's shaded." At his statement relief flashed through her expression, and then renewed concern.

"But others-"

"There's a privacy fence." Immediately he knew she didn't understand from the confusion that knit itself into her brows. "Others cannot see in and we'll stay under the shade. Come."

He tugged gently and without further protest she followed.

Hiiro felt complicated. Being however she was inside with just him or behind closed doors, was one thing. Stepping outside to where the sun could further hurt her scars or people could stare, or worse maybe the moon might see her blasphemy and seek an even worse revenge- that was entirely another.

But his hand held her wrist, not so hard she couldn't pull out, but, with his touch, she didn't want to. Her bare feet stepped through the door onto the warm flat patio stones. As he had said, it was shaded. An awning half flapped overhead and to the left was a wooden structure with a small bench. Before them, in the sun, were tables of pots. Multiple layers of pots all with various cacti and desert plants.

The door, on its own, slid shut behind them.

His hand dropped from her and he gazed towards the right. "I put your rocking chair out here, in the shade. If you want we can switch it with the one that's in your room."

"N-no, I-I want the one that's in the room." Hiiro glanced around him to see the nice corner that was now set up. By her chair was a small table, all fully under the awning so no matter the time of day it would be in the shade.

He had done this…

"Th-thank you. For putting it out here."

"Hn," His gaze then went to the cacti. "This is the patio and my garden. As you can see, it's fenced all the way around blocking others view. You can do what you want here. You said you liked gardening, I have more pots and space. Or you can just sit out here- at night you can see the stairs or moon."

Hiiro frowned, she did not want to see the moon. But, "this is very nice." Maybe during the day or far away from when the full moon came out to attack, she'd come here. "I… I didn't remember you gardened."

He glanced to her and nodded, but at what he was agreeing with, she didn't know.

A funny feeling danced within her as she stared at this space. Part of her wished she had changed so she could walk out into the sun to more closely see and touch the plants he had grown. But instead her feet stated frozen in place, she didn't even try to move forward.

"Come, I'll show you the rest of the house." Without further more he turned and again they passed through the door.

Hiiro followed along as they walked to the living room. He stopped and crouched down at the table that held his TV. Opening a side door on it, stacks of thin brightly colored books and thicker boxes were pressed together side by side.

"These are the dvds and videos I have. The player is there." With a finger he pulled one out, glanced unfamiliarity at it, and then pushed it back. "Most of these are gifts so I don't know what all of them are." Suddenly he frowned, with a disturbed look in his eyes as he stared at his own collection, "if any have weird titles, don't watch them."

"Okay." Hiiro bobbed her head. She wasn't planning on watching them, she wasn't planning on touching any of his things without him.

Quietly Gaara rose back up. Mentally he made a note that he really should look through those and make sure no one had gifted him porn or some other horrible movie she could stumble upon. He really needed to be more careful in accepting gifts, especially from those who liked to give them in joke, like his brother as well as the sixth Hokage, Kakashi Hatake.

Exhaling silently, he turned and moved towards the stairs. He'd show her upstairs next so that she'd know the full house's layout and so she'd feel comfortable getting him from there or the office if there ever was a need.

"This is my office. You are free to borrow anything from the bookshelf."

Hiiro glanced to the extra tall, extra wide bookshelf. Most of these looked nothing like the short novels Jun gave her. These were thick and wide or thin and extremely technical - all very foreboding.

"Oh-kay." Her head tilted up wondering how he could even get a book down from the top of the ceiling when there was no ladder in sight. And had he truly read all of these? Glancing toward the man and his studious expression, she determined that he probably had. Unlike her who liked short novels preferably of the manga variety, he read for substance and probably things she didn't even understand the title of…

"And this way is my bedroom. Always knock before entering, but if I don't answer, you are free to enter."

An awkward feeling passed through Hiiro as she followed him in. She had not entered anyone else's bedroom before and certainly did not know what to think of entering it without him opening the door.

"Bed, dresser, double closet, master bath. If you prefer this tub to the small one downstairs, then you can use it. I do not." Gaara opened the bathroom door revealing a walk in shower and a separate large, almost two person tub. He glanced towards the very silent Yumi. Her eyes ghosted around his room and the bathroom.

Suddenly he felt a bit odd, as if he had just shown a stranger rather than her. Rubbing his fingers through his hair, he glided past her. "Come, I'll show you the downstairs bathroom now. You probably want to shower this morning?"

"Uh, yes!" Her head bobbed as she exited his room faster than she had entered it.

As they walked down the steps, Gaara waited to feel her fall into him. With his every step down, he waited to hear a thud. His sand carefully stayed wrapped around her, ready. But making it back to the main floor, no such incident occurred. Maybe she wasn't as clumsy as he had given her credit for...

"And this is the spare bathroom. It has- It has your things still in it."

Smaller than his, he stepped into the room. A single tub shower combination with a plain shower curtain had soft gray towels next to it. Shuffling in so she could stand in there too, Gaara suddenly found the space not quite right for spacing out two people.

"M-my things?"

"Uh," He faltered before regaining his composure. "Yes. Those are your towels and these-" Pulling back the shower curtain he revealed the soap and shampoo sitting neatly on wood trays just below the shower head. "Are your soap, shampoo, and conditioner."

The look of confusion across her face made him regret his choices. He should have had Kankuro pick such things out.

"I…" she hesitated, her eyes locked on the three solid shapes. "I don't remember which… what…"

Gaara frowned annoyed at himself for picking out what he had. "The soap," he picked it up, "is this yellow square." He passed it to her.

Immediately she brought it to her nose, and Gaara looked away. He did not want to see the rejection nor repulse on her face for what he had picked.

"It smells good." Her voice brought her gaze back as she looked up at him. "I… I picked this?"

Not wishing to tell her that he had, Gaara mulled on the question before finally settling back into the lie. "Yes."

Her smile bloomed as she brought the yellow brick to her nose again.

Wishing to see what she thought of the others, he picked up the shampoo. "This is the shampoo. It's a bar style that reduces trash and it doesn't have as harsh of chemicals in it. Eh- at least that's what you told me once…" He muttered giving it to her as she put the papaya soap back.

Again she smelled it.

"It's supposed to smell like the ocean, I think." Gaara wondered if she thought it did. Being from the desert, he had not smelled the ocean but a handful of times and all of those had been brief, some mixed with battles.

Again a smile formed on her face as she repeated the smelling of the bar. "I really like it." Her gaze turned warm as her whole demeanor changed before him.

He handed her the condition bar next, "And this is the conditioner." Then he watched with interest as she expressively smelled that as well even though he knew firsthand the shampoo and conditioner bars smelled the same.

Wanting her to continue being happy, his gaze went to the linen closet beside the tub. "If you open that in front of you, your lotions are there."

She put back the conditioner bar and opened the small door.

"Bottom shelf"

She crouched down before him and pulled out the orange ginger lotion. Again she smelled it, her smile and excitement growing. "I like _ginger_."

Immediately Gaara's mind went to the underground river. His eyes naturally followed the v in at the top of her dress that had opened a little more from her hunched position. The soft curves of her now larger breasts were pushed up from the crouched position. Laying her down on his clothing and the towel, he had kissed those breasts, her chest, her stomach, her-

Gaara whipped his eyes away and shoved back that memory. He shouldn't have bought _that_ scent for her. The ginger orange that she had massaged into him, that she had smelled of _after_ _they had-_

*click*. She opened the next bottle. Gaara forced all his thoughts back to the present. This was the lotion he had been less sure on, the lavender, pear, rosemary one.

"Mmm" She hummed, her pleased smile lighting up her face while her eyes closed in enjoyment. Instead of simple happiness her eyes held a complicated excitement. She placed it back with the other carefully. "You know," She rose up to look at him, appreciatively. "It's really nice that I like the scents that I had picked out before. I'm just-" Hr smile broadened, "It's just... _really_ nice."

Her voice held such hope and joy, but her sentence twisted into Gaara.

"Thank you very much for keeping them." She grinned at him as a complicated feelings gutted him internally.

"I…" Gaara paused, unable to respond. "I'll let you shower." He slid past her, feeling like he had cheated.

"Okay," oblivious to the storm within him, she replied.

Stuffing his angst down, he turned before she shut the door. "I'm going to make breakfast, what would you like?"

Immediately, her gaze became uncertain and indecisive. "I don't… I don't care. I'm not really hungry anyway." Her head shook before with a smile she turned back to the shower.

"Alright." That knife in his gut twisted harder.

As the bathroom door shut, Gaara just stood there.

"_It's really nice that I like the scents that I had picked out before." _Her voice echoed in his head. Except she, Yumi, hadn't picked those out. And while she maybe would have liked them… he wasn't entirely sure if she would have picked them out. In fact, he was certain she wouldn't have and would have just gone for the most basic items that generally smelled of plain vanilla or cinnamon. Or more likely, she would have just asked to borrow his-

A tightness formed across Gaara's chest.

"_I like eggs. Or pancakes - no syrup. Rice is always good. Berries. Yogurt." _Her voice echoed within him, the never ending list of foods she liked for breakfast that she gave out without prompt or reference.

That tightness expanded within him until it hurt.

The shower inside the bathroom turned on and he suddenly felt like he was cheating, that he was cheating on Yumi with this person who wasn't quite the same. Logically he knew he wasn't. Logically, he knew and believed it was her. And yet, he remembered the scent of her hair as he whispered in her ear. _Light vanilla-cinnamon._ He remembered what all she wanted for breakfast. He remembered how determinedly she moved and how constantly she spoke-

_Cheater_. _Liar_. _Debtor_ Gaara shook his head as he turned, regret churning within him. Was Yumi without Salt still Yumi? Was this the true payment of his debts to that Death God?

His hand ruffled his own hair as anguish flushed through him. Hadn't he said he would accept her, no matter what?

But still he felt like he was cheating on her with a stranger... And even though he knew that wasn't true, it hurt.

Maybe Kankuro could take her to her appointment with Fujimoto. That would help. It would give him time to talk to Asami and to settle the storm of emotions within him.

Gaara shook his head at himself. Obviously he had gotten too little sleep...

...

* * *

...

**Ladyktbaby** \- Gaara's a bit more human in this chapter, more faults but still amazing (in my personal, completely unbiased opinion lol). I so wanted to get to Asami but at 8,000 words it was getting a little long. But Asami will be here, for real, next chapter! Promise! (Hopefully I don't kill her off or anything... *again looks over the list of things I wasn't ever really planning on writing*)

**All** \- I really really really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really want Yumi and Gaara to just be together and at the same time I don't want to do the trauma and struggle wrong. Hopefully this was a good mix. Thank you all for reading.

As normal - please drop me a review or comment! We are up to 25 followers for this story so that's pretty kick-ass too.

**Cheers!**  
\- Rain


	18. Chapter 18: Takes More Than One

**We got a few more followers and a couple more ticks on the favorited ^-^ Thank you for the support**

**Ladyktbaby - **Not sure I got goodnews for you yet, but hold on, it will come eventually! Maybe throw me a few ideas on it too?

**All - **This chapter is a bit more of just a building block chapter, but I hope you enjoy it none the less!

**Cheers**

**\- Rain**

**...**

* * *

Gaara walked to the door before his brother even knocked.

Opening it, he glanced back. "Hiiro, my brother's come."

He turned back to Yumi who was now dressed in long sleeves, gloves, a long skirt, and a hooded light cloak. Her scarf and eye patch were in her hand which she awkwardly bunched and unbunched as if she wasn't sure when she needed to place them back. Briefly her eyes met with him before going to the open door.

"Hiiro?" Kankuro stepped through followed by a young nin that didn't keep a good poker face. At the shock on the man's face, Gaara quickly glanced to Yumi who had already driven her own gaze down. Frustrated, he immediately gave his brother a look which intensified.

Kankuro hadn't mentioned bringing a second person...

Seeing Gaara's look, Kankuro returned his own before leaning over. "There's reports of a team dispute I need to check out after this. But this is Ueno. He- uh, was saved multiple times by you know who. He's good. And it will be good if it's more than just us."

Gaara nodded subtly.

Righting himself, Kankuro flashed Yumi a grin. "Yumi! So good to see you so soon!" Again he just strolled up to her and bear-hugged her, picking her up, again, and then setting her back down.

Finally the young nin recovered and bowed formally towards Yumi. With his brother beside her, Yumi frowned at the nin. "Do I know _you_?"

Kankuro stepped back behind Yumi, out of her eyesight. His fingers fluttered in the air at the nin.

"Uh, I-" The man started to speak before Kankuro made a cut-sign and then a few other gestures. "I-I-I ran into you once… a couple times. And I heard you were back so I thought I'd volunteer." Embarrassed at his terrible lie in front of the Kazekage and the Anti-terrorist Group leader, his hand went back of his neck "Heh, Heh, I actually don't even think I ever gave you my name or officially got yours."

"Oh." Her head cocked and her eyes went to Gaara. The stirring cloud of uncertainty within her eyes calmed. Reconciled with whatever was in her head, her gaze returned to the nin, "I'm Minawa Yumi or Salt Hiiro… You can call me either. I lost my memory in an accident… but my family were traders and Sabaku no Gaara and I live together."

Out of sight, behind Yumi, Kankuro's hands immediately raised. _You didn't tell her not to mention that!?_

Gaara stared back at his brother with no reaction _No. We'll work around it._

Kankuro's fingers went to a strangle pose behind her. _You! What happened to us keeping this quiet to give her time?_

Gaara, without notice from her, narrowed his gaze. _I'm doing all I can. And don't forget you've never won._

Kankuro's hands shook before they swooshed back and forth. _I'm working on a puppet that will finally get the advantage! But what happened to no Rumor Mill!? If this gets back to the council so soon-_

Gaara's eyebrow twitched, _I'm not the one that brought in an outsider_

Kankuro brushed off the air as if it was nothing. _He'll be fine. He'll be fine - I hand selected him and he knows the importance and discretion needed._

Gaara silently snorted. _Then what's the problem?_

Kankuro again started to make a strangle movement before gesturing outside. _You! How are you so relaxed?! What if she says those things out there?_

Again Gaara's gaze narrowed, _I can handle it. Do not inform her of any restrictions. She's to be unbothered._

Both Kankuro's arms whoosed up in disbelief at his brother.

"Ehm," the younger nin coughed awkwardly. "Well I'm Ueno Dyato." He bowed formally again causing Yumi to inch back right into Kankuro. Immediately she ducked back forward and looked up at him.

Gaara narrowed his eyes as Yumi blinked, suddenly realizing how close his brother was. From her stiff body language, he didn't believe she was comfortable with it, now that she knew.

Kankuro immediately hid his hands, and gently patted her with an odd expression. "Eh, sorry."

Gaara's eyes turned to slits at his brother.

Awkward, Hiiro scooted to the side and away from Kankuro. First she checked to make sure he wasn't following, then back to the nin, and finally towards him. Before her gaze landed, Gaara returned to his neutral mask and even softened it a bit. Again the distrubed microexpressions placated. Inhaling, her eyes lowered and raised sweeping over him and then naturally her body language mirrored his before her eyes went back to the new ninja.

Ueno waited until she looked at him again before speaking. "So I've volunteered to be your escort. It's great that you are back."

Watching the man's warm smile beam towards her, Gaara felt murderous.

"Escort?" Hiiro's head naturally tilted. Again her gaze went to Sabaku who was giving the man a very Kuro-like look. She then went back to studying the young man. Unease entered her as everything started to feel wrong.

"Ah- Tour guide, I mean." Ueno corrected himself; the Kazekage without notice of Yumi glared harshly at his brother.

"Tour guide?" Now her brows muddled as her lip started to turn down. A tightness clenched at her chest as she just stared at this stranger, her brain not making any connections.

Seeing her spiralling state, Gaara cleared his throat. "Something has come up, I won't be able to escort you to the medical center nor anywhere else today."

"_Oh_." Disappointment flushed through Hiiro pooling into her stomach. Sorrow, uselessness, and melancholy all inhaled through her as she breathed, "_okay_."

"Hey, you'll see him later, right?" A large arm out of nowhere wrapped itself heavily about her shoulders, half tipping her over. It's pressure only made her feel even more trapped, an even worse version of alone.

Gaara frowned at his brother's motion, wondering if he too should start doing something like that or if he should stop his brother from doing it. Observing her, he couldn't tell if it was something she liked or didn't mind.

"I'll happily escort you Minawa! Wherever you want to go! It will be good, I promise." Ueno like a puppy half jumped forward, drawing Yumi's eyes.

Hiiro took in the stranger's exuberant smile and then studied Sabaku stoic expression. The new person before her seemed friendly and nice, but still- she had thought _he _was going with her today. He had said he didn't have work, but obviously that was no longer the case.

Worthlessness murmured through her as she stared at him, trying to decide if it was just the void within her that hurt or something else. Knowing she could do nothing, her gaze finally went back to this Ueno, "okay."

"Great." Ueno again dared to grin.

"See?" Kankuro spoke to Gaara, tipping his head up in victory.

An uneasy feeling settled into the Kazekage's chest. Glancing at the time, he calculated. "If we leave now… I can travel with you three there. But I won't be able to pick you up. And I've scheduled with you to someone who you used to know… If that's okay."

Yumi's eyes locked on his immediately. Her brain heard nothing other than he was coming with, causing her previously dulled existence to brighten. Without thought her head bobbed up and down rapidly, agreeing. "Yeah, we can go."

"Alright _then_." Kankuro gave his brother a look as he stepped forward, arm still about Yumi.

Feet planted and unready for the movement, Hiiro immediately lost her balance. The floor leapt up from nowhere as her cloth fisted hand went out.

From no where, sand wrapped about her before the impending thud. It righted her a foot away from Kankuro.

"Are you okay!?" Ueno had also jumped into motion, quickly covering the distance between him and Yumi.

Shocked, Kankuro hadn't reacted fast enough. Glancing to his brother, he grinned sheepishly fully knowing his sibling was now, probably, plotting his death.

"Yeah." Hiiro sidestepped the man to glance at Sabaku who said they had to leave.

"Uh, we need to go though, right?" Strain coursed through her causing her to look at the clock even though she didn't know what for. If she took too long, if she stumbled too much, he might leave without her.

Stress pounded her tight chest as her feet half froze, afraid it was already too late.

"We have time." His voice lifted the weight that was barreling down upon her. Even the room itself lightened because of his words.

A smile crept onto her face as her head just slightly bobbed pleased. "Okay."

Less rushed, she walked towards Sabaku. Still, to be ready, she used one hand to unravel her scarf from the other while she tried not to drop the eye patch. With her feet still moving to not make him late, she worked.

Sand very lightly and gently surrounded her, stopping her in her tracks.

"Put them on first, then walk. We have time"

Warmth filled Hiiro creating the light smile on her lips, "_okay"_

…

* * *

…

Gaara stood in Asami's living room. "You should sit down."

"I'm hoping this unannounced meeting is very brief, Kazekage-sama."

Gaara eyed his former secretary.

Asami huffed, "Whoever your new secretary is really should know to make sure such things as these are scheduled."

Frowning, he ignored her sentence. "You really need to sit down."

The woman who had always been professional threw him a look and then concern flooded her face. "Don't tell me someone caught you cross dressing and then you decided to mention me! The council will have my neck for that!"

"_Sit_." His Kazekage tone took over, causing a twitch in her lip. "Please."

Asami keeping her braced leg straight, lowered herself on to a chair. "Are you going to sit as well?" She repeated her earlier statement, significantly less sarcastic.

Ignoring her tone and feeling a tiredness in his soul, the Kazekage sat across from her.

"So what is it you've come to see me about. If you keep doing this, rumors are going to start to abound."

"Asami," The gravity of his tone drew her gaze, "I need you to listen what I'm about to say… Yumi's alive..."

His former secretary froze, completely unresponsive.

After waiting a bit for her to absorb that first, still shocking line, he continued. "She's lost all of her memory, nearly all of her previous physical ability, and now has numerous scars from surviving that night. So she is not the same as how she was, but she lives."

"_What?" _Asami jerked back and then leaned forward, her fingers tense. Her pupils were shrunk in shock before they churned in anger. "_don't joke with me._"

"I wouldn't. Not about this. Never about this." His tone left no room for argument or doubt, "she's alive, Asami."

"_How!?"_

"That creature, your cat-thing…. I believe it saved her."

Immediately the woman's head shook back and forth. "No, no- the things in me. They wanted to _kill her_. They brought that _thing_. _I brought that thing!_ It wouldn't save her-"

"It did, Kuro, the cat thing, has been living with her in tea country up until about a month or so ago."

"What?" the woman blinked.

"It passed away or whatever was holding it together stopped… And under it's direction, Yumi, made her way here."

"She's here, in Suna, _alive_?"

"Yes."

"W-where?"

"She's staying in my house."

Asami blinked. "In your house?" She talked in normal tone.

"She's staying in your house…" she repeated frowning. And then suddenly she switched into all out scolding. "Your house!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" Like a she-devil she abruptly stood. "Owwwww! Fucking! Shit! FUCK!" She immediately bent over grabbing her damaged leg. Her body fell back into the chair. "_Shit_."

"**She stayed there before** and its the safest place for her."

"Temporarily before! And back then all of the rumors had her as a hired bodyguard for you! That was before everyone knew of you two, before you signed a piece of paper saying you'd never marry to stop the council from setting you up anymore! Ugh! Tell me this, does the council know?" Asami glanced to her former, idiotic, dumb-shit, why-had-she-ever-thought-she-liked-him, boss.

Gaara ignored the question that even he knew not to answer.

Asami's head shook. "One of two things are going to occur - they will hitch the two of you and demand she have kids this instant. Or they will force you to recount that previous statement and try to marry you to someone else to gain more political advantage for Suna. In either case, they will make her life hell especially if she is how you say!"

Just because she wasn't in the ninja world anymore didn't mean she didn't keep up on all the current events and rumors...

"I won't let that happen. You forget who I am."

"And how are you going to stop it? Have her guarded and locked away 24/7. I mean Yumi was always a little dense, but even back then the council approached her even before you two were dating."

Still annoyed they had done that, Gaara snorted. "Once they figure out she can't have kids, they will leave her alone. As for the second, I will figure something out."

Her head immediately snapped back, "wait… what_?_"

Ignoring the ache within him, the Kazekage spoke as if he was simply reading. "She was severely injured after the attack. If it wasn't for Kuro that cat thing and a local doctor in tea country she probably would not have survived... She has numerous scars, heterochromia in her eyes, major damage to her lungs, joints, uterus, kidney," he continued to listed everything he had read until he noticed that Asami had gone white. "Ehm, so they won't bother her once they realize she's not of use to them for that first scenario…"

As if it was the most pitiful story in the world, Asami repeated his words. "She can't have kids?"

He shook his head no.

"Kazekage-sama." The pity towards him in her tone wrinkled his nose.

"I came here to inform you that she's alive and here. But also, I'd like her to visit you and maybe do so daily..."

"What?" That removed the displaced pity immediately.

"She has amnesia, she doesn't even remember her name is Minawa Yumi. She's been using Salt Hiiro… but I believe it would be good if she had someone else to talk to who was also affected by that night and enjoys things like dresses and soaps."

"Dresses?" Asami's brows wrinkled. "Yumi doesn't-"

"She does now. She's not the same as she was."

His previous secretary bit her lip. Her gaze told him that she wanted to decline, but the guilt on her face informed him that she would not.

"The ninja Kankuro assigned is going to bring her over at 11, if I remember right your new schedule leaves you free from 11 to 2pm. However do not tell her of how she was before unless she specifically asks. And she might not actually speak much, anymore..." He stood before the still seated woman.

"_You_ aren't going to bring her here?"

Gaara's gaze dropped briefly before returning to hers. "I have others I need to speak to. As you said the council does not yet know and the longest I will probably be able to keep their issue with this at bay is a week."

With the weight of the world upon him, the Kazekage turned back towards her door.

"Kazekage-sama."

He glanced back. Asami was standing on her good leg.

"Does she remember you?"

His eyes closed as he thought how to answer before he shook her head. "No. But I'm just glad she's alive… Oh, she calls me Sabaku no Gaara, not the Kazekage- don't correct her."

And with that, he left.

…

* * *

…

"Baki."

"Kazekage-sama"

"You may wish to sit." Gaara indicated to the chairs in the office room.

His former sensei glanced at them and then back to his Kazekage. "I've not gotten that old yet."

"Hn," Gaara's head bobbed slightly as he pulled the paper packet from the inside of his jacket. "Here- Inside you will find everything I'm about to say verified."

"Yes." Baki accepted the packet.

"I've given Minawa Yumi a place to live inside the Kazekage residence that I acquired. She currently has amnesia and is extremely injured. At this time it's highly unlikely for her to ever recover to more than an average civilian. I plan to provide for her and have her live with me for as long as she needs or wishes even if it's for the rest of her life."

The side of Baki's face that showed held shock. "_Kazekage-sama_"

"It has been confirmed by multiple tests run by Suna's most experienced medical doctors that it is her. She had not died that night but instead was saved and taken to Tea Country. Why, we don't know yet- but with her _appearance now_ and memory loss, it made it difficult for those who were taking care of her to find where she belonged."

"Kazekage-"

"Baki."

His former sensei frowned, concerned held deep within his gaze. "Kazekage, you realize that in having her reside with you that you are also putting her at risk?"

_You have here too_. His own words replayed themselves, words he was not going to take back.

"Yes, I do. She currently wears my sand armor and I have a ninja currently escorting her for protection."

"When the council hears word that you are using suna resources for personal-"

"They will all be volunteers, outside of their normal duty and on their off days or times."

Baki frowned. "I'm not arguing with what you want to do, but in being the Kazekage, there's sacrifices. The council will hear of this sooner or later and they won't let it go."

Gaara grit his teeth at his sensei's words. He already knew this, "I'm prepared-" "-but I might be able to buy you a month or two."

Surprise overtook the Kazekage's sand mask.

In a complete loss of words, Gaara just froze staring at his old teacher. Hadn't Baki always disliked his relationship with Minawa Yumi?

"The chunin exams are in two months. I should be able to convince the main group that in this time of peace this is a perfect opportunity for us to travel the region further solidifying our unity before arriving in Konoha and it may even take us another month or two to get back..."

Shocked, Gaara mulled over his sensei's words and plan. This would give him and Yumi at least two months, if not four before the council could wage it's political war. And it was a significantly better option than the political suicide he had come up with.

Carefully he studied the elder ninja, "you are willing?"

"I am. I trust you, Kazekage. I've watched you grow to who you are today. I just hope you ready all the allies you have within Suna for when they do arrive back."

"I will be ready. And thank you Baki-Sensei." Respect and gratitude towards his teacher filled his tone.

"Hm," the older man warmed, "you haven't called me that in a long time."

"No, I have not."

Baki smirked to which Gaara returned, a secret joke passed between the two.

"Well, I have a trip to get ready for. We should be gone in four days time if my estimates are right, so all you have to do is keep it quiet for that long."

"Thank you."

Baki bowed, "Kazekage"

…

* * *

…

"So my idea was a good one?" Kankuro smiled knowingly.

"I believe I stated it may be best that we find a few more _trustworthy_ ninjas that may be willing to volunteer and keep this silent."

"What about retired nin?" Kankuro crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"If they are still able."

"Soooo…" Kankuro's gaze went up to the sky. On the roof top the hot suna wind brushed both of them by.

"For missions, I believe our forces to be second to none in loyalty…" Gaara started, his gaze wandering out across Suna.

"Agreed, but loyalty to the mission and not to speak of personal items isn't the same. Ninjas trust each other, the rumor mill is often spread among them as much as it is the villagers."

"Yes." Gaara's head nodded, pleased that his brother shared his same view on this. "So how did you select this Ueno?"

"Ehhhh, I overheard him swear a debt to her at the funeral. Didn't ask the details but there was something he was wanting her forgiveness for especially since I guess she saved his life about four times over during the fighting."

"**What** **forgiveness**?"

Immediately Kankuro's hands went up in innocence, "I said I didn't get the details and knowing Yumi I highly doubt she even noticed wherever it was this nin thinks he did to her. But I figured if he swore to her at her death than he should swear to help on the living side."

"You know as well as I that isn't always true. People are more likely to be loyal and think better of those who have passed…"

"True, but he's proven himself. Plus I doubt he wants to die by your or my hand."

Gaara snorted. Killing a ninja would most certain give him even worse council trouble, but could be an adequate distraction for keeping them from Yumi.

"So… Matsuri?" He spoke, his mind rolling through the names and faces he trusted.

"Yes." His brother agreed. "What about Akimoto Yoshi, he was a medic in training when she first entered Suna."

"Do you trust him enough and will he volunteer?" Gaara side-eyed his brother.

"I trust him, he was an asset during the war but… I do not know if he will volunteer."

"Hn" Gaara's gaze went off to the side in thought."Ran"

"Did you just select Matsuri's boyfriend?"

"He's still a good candidate and should volunteer."

"Well if we are doing it that way - then Shira and Yomi."

"They live in the border village, I can't bring them here for this."

"What if you claim that you as the Kazekage need some more hand-to-hand training from Shira?"

Gaara frowned. It would work, but a little too close to abuse of power. Not that him just asking someone to volunteer wasn't an abuse. Few would say no, so he needed to make sure they were actually right… and Shira would be right.

"Fine."

Kankuro grinned. "Sooooo when Yumi was in the hospital there was another solid ninja there, Rikuto but he's-"

"Yes."

"Uh, you didn't let me finish."

"He's blind, but a ninja's skillset is more than their eyes. Besides… I think they were friends."

"They were?" Kankuro frowned, having not known.

"Yes." Gaara nodded remembering the rumor mill and letters others had tried to write claiming it was Yumi professing her love to Rikuto.

…

* * *

…

Hiiro followed the nin, two steps behind. She walked so her covered eye was on the side of the store fronts.

_Depression_. Hiiro's mind muddled.

_Post Traumatic Stress Disorder _It clicked.

Their words repeated in her mind over and over: _Physical Therapy, Counseling, Medication, Nutrition, Exercise, Routine_

They floated around and around within her. They added stress to her veins and hope. Overwhelm forced her thoughts inward, her gaze neither on Ueno in front of her nor those around. Her feet moved on their own as she limped through. In her small sash were new medicines, documents of which she was to follow for exercise and nutrition, a strange workbook with colored pencils.

Part of Hiiro wanted to discard her small bag in the trash or abandon it as they walked but the other part wanted to go back to the house and start looking through it now.

Stress and indecisiveness plagued her- _Thud_ Her face ran right into someone else's body.

"Whoa, Aye careful." Ueno spun around and half patted her as he made sure she was fine. "You really need to watch what your step, you didn't even see me stop, huh?"

"S-s-sorry."

"Ahhh, don't worry about me." His hand briefly brushed her shoulder. "I stopped because we are a bit too early. So I was thinking we should take a detour since I'm a tour guide and all. Want to see something cool?"

Hiiro's head cocked.

"Come, I think you'll like this. My last girlfriend did. This way." He ushered her to the left into an alley. They walked a hurried clip as he half tugged her along. "Up this way…." Turning they were met with stairs. Hiiro stepped and stepped, her lungs burning as her legs began to tire. Missing one, she half stumbled.

"Ah, careful. I'll be killed if you end up hurt." The man joked, catching her.

For only a second they had stopped before they began climbing again. Hiiro struggled to keep going.

"Turn here…" On a side of a building they turned to even more stairs.

Then, suddenly they were on a rooftop. "And here we are."

Breathing heavy, Hiiro huffed as she half keeled over. Her lungs, her legs, her stomach, and her throat were all dying.

"Come, see." At his words she forced herself forward again, still panting. Her single eye did not have to search for what he was talking about at all. Before them on the ground was green, yellow, red, and clear shimmering together in purposeful shapes of a tree, grass, flowers, even a bird, and little stream.

"This is called the glass park. All of those are made from when lightning strikes the sand. It's well known here that the lightning burns so hot it melts the sand grains together forming those glass stones and twisted pieces. What do you think? Pretty cool?" Ueno leaned forward to better see and try to judge Minawa's expression.

Hiiro stood there staring. The glass stone pieces reflected color and light in all directions. They were all different, not all smooth, not all twisted, not all even one piece, not without fault as she could see cracks and shattered ones among them... And yet, made by lightning in the sand… they were pretty.

"Like it?" Ueno repeated.

Hiiro's head nodded. Her single eye took in all the pieces that built the little park scene below.

"Alright. Good. Well, we are out of time it seems. Shall we? I can bring us back this way if you'd like to see it again."

"Wait-" Hiiro turned as he started to lead the way. "Can you… can you give me a map. From the house to here?" Hiiro dug out her notebook and pen. Flipping through it she found the next blank page. "Please?"

"Sure, but I'll do that while you are visiting with your friend." He took it with a smile, pocketing it away. "Okay?"

Hiiro frowned under the scarf as her mind racked over and over trying to remember friends. Emptiness was all that met her.

"Okay?" He repeated and she finally nodded her head.

"Alright, here - hold my arm, don't want you to fall." And together they went back, again at a pace that made Hiiro huff.

As it was like everywhere else, Hiiro did not remember this place. It was unfamiliar and strange.

Ueno knocked lightly on the door. "Ehm, Junko Asami we are here for your 11 o'clock?"

The door cracked, then shut, then cracked again. "I thought that-"

Ueno side stepped so that Hiiro suddenly found herself directly in front of the cracked door. A clear crystal blue eye gazed out as if it searching for a phantom.

"You-" The woman's voice sounded again. The eye scanned her up and down. "How am I supposed to tell it's you when all I see is your eye and a bit of the bridge of your nose? And… you really are wearing a dress…"

Her gaze settled on her skirt as the door opened. An amber haired woman in stylish cloth pants and a flowery knotted blouse opened the door further. The waves of her hair bounced as her head dropped to the side. "Come we'll talk inside."

The door opened further as the woman stood to the side to allow Hiiro to enter. Hiiro studied the woman a bit more before she followed the instruction. Sabaku had asked her to visit here with her, _her friend_, a stranger.

The door clicked shut with the three of them now inside.

"Are you," the woman spoke, her blue gaze studying every inch of Hiiro, "really Minawa Yumi?"

Hiiro studied the woman who studied her back unsure how to answer. From what Sabaku and the doctors said, she was Minawa Yumi… but what if she wasn't really? That name meant nothing to her, just as Salt Hiiro had once meant nothing to her…

"She is." Ueno spoke, watching the two women just stare at each other.

"Pull down your hood and scarf, how am I supposed to see you with all that?" Slowly the woman moved to the living room, before she glanced back, "Well, aren't you coming?"

Hiiro with mixed feelings stood without progressing forward.

"Come, sit." With a grand gesture the woman directed Hiiro again.

Silently Hiiro moved to the open chair and slowly she sat.

It wasn't until the woman sat too, that Hiiro noticed her leg that stayed straight. Around it, from thigh almost to ankle was a brace the same color as her tight cropped pants.

"Did you, uh…" The woman started and then hesitated, "did you lose your eye?"

A tone Hiiro couldn't place sounded. It caused Hiiro's chest to tighten heavily making her need to shake her head no.

"Do you," the woman whispered, "have scars?" Her gaze dropped and then rose again to Hiiro's covered face.

Under the hood, Hiiro nodded.

The woman frowned, a storm in her gaze. "You didn't care much about appearances before."

She didn't remember that… she didn't remember what she thought of herself before or how she had looked. "I didn't?"

"No… but it's hard to suddenly change, _be changed_." The woman looked away as if fighting her own internal battle.

"You!" Her gaze suddenly went to Uemo, "Go make us something to drink from my kitchen."

"Uh,"

"Now!" She ordered.

"Heh." Reluctantly Ueno marched over and began to search through the cabinets.

Hiiro just watched silently.

"Would you now take off your things?" The woman more solemnly asked.

With a foreboding feeling, Hiiro finally complied. She lowered her hood first, then removed her gloves, followed by her scarf and eye patch-

"Ah!" The woman gasped as her eyes went wide, drawing Hiiro's gaze to the horrified and broken look. "Oh Kami."

Hiiro's self view shattered. Who could look upon her and not see someone the moon hated? How _horrible_ she was? Without a word she rose and turned to the door, needing to leave.

"Wait - don't go!" Voice cracking the woman suddenly shouted, "Ah"

The startled tone brought Hiiro's head back. The woman was half keeled over, her hands on her braced leg.

"Shit." Pain and brokenness coated her voice. "Shit. Shit." Droplets began to fall from her face. "I'm sorry." Through clenched teeth she apologized.

Hiiro numbly watched as the woman finally straightened, tears flowing freely. Her hand went to her mouth as she shuttered. "It's you. It's really you." Turning her palm over, she wiped the tears from her eyes but they didn't stop.

"Don't go. I didn't - It's not your face- It's just that…" The woman limped towards her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's really you. It's you."

Arms smaller than Kankuro's wrapped about her shoulders. A head she didn't know pressed against her chest making it wet.

"We thought you were dead. You- Oh. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I thought. I thought- you-" The woman's cries turned into sobs clenched between her teeth before she huffed it all back in.

Pulling back she again wiped her eyes. Her beautiful watery blue gaze blinked out a few more tears, "you… don't remember me do you?"

Side to side, Hiiro's head went.

"I'm Junko Asami. We were friends. I was there-"

Immediately Hiiro's body went stiff.

"I was attacked too. You saved me and… and… I thought it killed you." Again tears formed while a tremor went through Asami's shoulders.

So many questions formed in Hiiro's mind, and yet not a one was spoken. Instead they piled up within her chest. Tighter and tighter it compressed her lungs.

"I'm- I'm so happy you are alive." Again arms went around Hiiro as she just stood there.

Squeezing her tightly as if she would vanish, the arms finally released. "Come, sit. Please, sit."

Again she was lead back to the chairs, a cold chill having brewed within her.

"Um, the Kazekage said that you lost your memory and don't really want to be told anything?" The woman glanced to Hiiro who still could not speak.

"Um, well I understand that. My leg is like this because of that night and I still have nightmares. If I could have it erased from my mind, I would too."

Hiiro's gaze slowly rose to meet Junko's, "does the full moon-" _attack, toture, seek, murder_, "bother you too?"

The woman's lips frowned, her gaze went away while her face reflected pain. "No. For me, it's those demon masks- I hate seeing them now."

A door in Hiiro's head rattled, a dreadful feeling went down into her soul. _Demon masks?_ No memory nor recognition went through her, instead she was left to pitifully wonder. _Was the full moon not alone?_

"You… you haven't been attacked since-"

"No," Junko's head shook. "Of course not. Suna is safe. You won't _ever _be attacked here."

Despair churned within Hiiro as she remembered shuttering in the bathtub, the shower on full old as she screamed silently, her mouth gagged with a washcloth. Her nails had scratched into her own skin as she sobbed at the Full Moon's assault. Every month it came to remind her of her place…

And now she knew… it was just _her_ she came for. No one else. The moon and these demon masks she couldn't remember.

"I see" Melancholy lapped at her bones.

"Do you want to know what happened that night?"

"No," Hiiro didn't dare. As she knew every morning after the full moon, she didn't want to remember the details that terrified and tortured her so.

"Hm." Junko's head bobbed, "I understand. But… I meant it, Yumi. I'm so glad you are alive. I hope we can talk about something else, anything else. The Kazekage said you like dresses?"

Hiiro frowned. Sabaku had been called the Kazekage once or twice, but she wasn't sure - was Junko talking about him or another one?

"Um, yes. Jun made them for me." Hiiro after much silence answered.

"It looks great." Junko's joy and sorrow filled gaze met Yumi's, "you look great."

A knot formed within Hiiro at the woman's tone forcing her back into the silence she always seemed to reside in.

"Uh, so, do you have a particular style you like?" Junko's head cocked as she tried to clear her tightly threaded voice.

Hiiro mirrored the motion, _Style_. Her gaze ticked up and then across the room. Finally she shook her head no, just style.

"Well how about we look through some of my magazines and we can compare notes. If that's okay. I'd like to hear your thoughts. Though you weren't into fashion before, it's nice that you are now." Junko smiled, her broken gaze picking up a number of magazines that were stuffed in a cubby beside her chair. With grace the woman walked over and sat down directly next to Hiiro.

The book flipped open-

…

* * *

…

"Do you think Sabaku's back?" Hiiro glanced at the sky. Visiting Asami had been _nice_. Initially hard, but nice at the end.

She even was going to go back tomorrow.

"Eh." Ueno weighed the time, "probably not. I doubt he'll be back until like 5 or so."

"Oh," Disappointment churned within her. Her single eye jumped from one alley to the next as she felt lonely. "I'd like to… go see someone else then."

"Alright, where too?"

"Do you know the Hotel I stayed at?"

"Yes"

"There. Maybe we will catch Keiji, else the Salt Merchant."

"Okay, follow me."

* * *

"Yaritori,'' Gaara walked into the head of the public correspondent's office. The man's gaze immediately rose from the stack of letters and envelopes.

"All, please give us a moment." With a raise of his hand, the communication director dismissed those on computers on either side of him.

"Yes sir."

"Got it!"

As Kazekage, he gave them a slight nod as they promptly closed the email forums and exited. The door quietly shut behind them.

"Kazekage-sama." Yaritori respectfully bowed his head, "to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I have a favor that I would like to ask of you."

The elder man stood a bit taller at his Kazekage's words. Silently, he waited for this favor.

"What I'm about to tell you cannot be shared with anyone. I wish for you to read all incoming and outgoing mail of Salt Hiiro."

Yaritori's brows knit themselves together as a frown masked his normally compliant face. "Kazekage-"

"This is for security measures. Salt Hiiro is Minawa Yumi, the woman who I was in a relationship with. This is information I trust you will guard and share with no one as she's been through enough. I am giving her residence within my house, for that reason she risks being a slight security risk with her communications. I want her to stay with me however I do not wish for it to be a burden on her or a risk. If you could read through her communications and adjust for anything you see fit, I would _greatly _appreciate it."

Yaritori's face relaxed but his gaze still stayed narrowed, "do you wish to know what's in such letters?"

The Kazekage's head moved side to side. "Only you."

"Got it." Yaritori's head nodded. "If that is the case, and considering-" the man paused, his gaze changing to a complicated emotion. Everyone knew of the death of the woman their Kazekage had been in a war-time relationship with. But Yaritori and a few others, recognized that the Kazekage actually had that relationship before the war broke out…

Finally bowing, Yaritori accepted. "Consider it taken care of and no others will know."

"Good." Gaara nodded pleased. "Thank you, and these are the first letters."

With a pale hand, he handed over two letters that Yumi had written and asked on how to mail.

"Alright. I will have all mail to and from Salt Hiiro and Minawa Yumi directed here."

"Thank you." With a final word, the Kazekage turned and left.

Yaritori sat down. _Minawa Yumi_. That name was one of the few the Kazekage had ever uttered to him in search of a correspondence and the only one to now come up twice.

With skills of an expert, he opened the letters so there would be no sign of it's tampering. Carefully he unfolded the document. Terrible scratchy handwriting assaulted his view.

_Jun_

_I hope all is well. I have not heard from you yet. A lot has changed - I found him, Sabaku. He is the sand man and I lived with him and Kuro. My room is more than I would have ever imagined. There's a painting that reminds me of the shores along your place. I have images of Kuro on my wall and a rocking chair in the corner. I must have always liked hammocks because there is one here too. It is perfect._

_But I don't remember it._

_And I don't remember him… I want to. I remember him when he was six and I was five. We played at a park that I found again. As is everything else, I no longer recognize it. We lived near each other. I often climbed down stairs to go visit him. He was sick and needed medicine. I wonder if I was too… But I can't remember more._

_But he said, he said I can be however I am. So I wore that shorter dress, one of the ones I liked that stops at the knees. I hope to wear more of them. I don't know what else to hope for. I don't think I am how I was before- but in the shower are all scents I like that he says are mine. That makes me feel better, that maybe me who exists now and me the person I cannot remember might not be that far apart. You would like their scents. _

_Sabaku has been very helpful and kind. I am thinking of making or getting him something, but I don't know what. Do you have any ideas of what I could do? He seems to like black, crimson, and plain._

_Anyway, I hope you are well. _

_~ Hiiro_

**_..._**

* * *

**All - want me to fast forward a bit or see more day to day? Ideas on what Jun might suggest Hiiro make for Mr. Sabaku?**

**Looking forward to hearing your thoughts & reviews!**

\- **Rain**


	19. Chapter 19: Heart Meditation

**Ash! ** You are all caught up! I need to catch up on your work too (my bad, my bad). I loooovvveeeedddd all your reviews. Gave me some good ideas too :) Now hopefully those good ideas translate well into the story. We'll see ^_^ . And I really liked your words - companionship feeds us more than a meal! Kinda inspired parts of this too

**Ladyktbaby - **Moving is always an entertaining time. I've done that cross-country move thing too so best of luck to you with settling in. Thoughts on an Asami-Yumi girls-day? Nails, Hair, Fashion that Yumi refuses to change into? :)

**All - **This chapter is a bit shorter than the previous but I hope you enjoy it!

**Cheers**

**\- Rain**

* * *

A week had slowly ticked by. Baki had somehow convinced the entire council to travel across the remote and border villages. Part of Gaara wondered if his former sensei had resorted to entrapment and skilled ninja persuasion (blackmail). Shira had also accepted the assignment of coming to train with him, their Kazekage but would not arrive four another ten days. Ino and Tsunade had both replied, the former Kage would be able to arrive next week but her student needed a few weeks due to her son's appointments. Surprisingly his sister and brother-in-law had promptly also written telling him of their surprise and happiness for him, and that they would escort Ino and Sai, allowing him the opportunity to see them and his nephew as well.

Sighing, the Kazekage let his head fall backwards so his face tilted to the ceiling.

*Knock* A single knock was followed by the door opening.

"Got a moment?" His brother entered his office without waiting for permission.

"Yes - did you find out what was the dispute that caused those two ninja to turn on their own teams?" Gaara watched as his brother's eyes reflected the severity of the change.

"No - those two are still out so we can't question them. I don't know if they were controlled through a jutsu, if it was a dispute within the teams, or what."

The Kazekage frowned, "hopefully we can resolve it quickly. The fights broke out while they were in a bar together. This was one of the items that delayed the council's departure."

"I know, I know. The rumor mill has it as a drunken dispute but we had to pay the establishment quite a sum for them to be able to rebuild. What has me worried is that occurring to the doctors, if these ninjas were stronger, their chakra attacks would be active even without signs as they start to awake."

"How is that possible?"

"I don't know, but sadly that seems to point to a more sinister plot, doesn't it."

"I have faith you will apprehend those responsible."

"Yes. We are working hard for better leads as we speak."

"Hn." Gaara rose from the desk. "Good." He walked across the room and exited.

"Hey! Wait!"

With unhurried steps, the Kazekage marched down the hallway.

"Kazekage! We weren't done."

"Then you have to travel with me."

"What?"

"The nomad elder requests weekly meetups."

"What!?"

"Hn."

"For what?"

"To mediate."

"WHAT!? Why?"

"Hn," Gaara stepped out the door and immediately pooled sand below their feet. It raised them up and flew them to the meeting location.

"You need to send me back. I have meetings this afternoon." Kankuro suddenly felt kidnapped. Why did he have to meet with the nomads too?

"It's only an hour."

"What? You mediate with them weekly for an hour, what for!?"

"They claim that it's for generational connection. Naruto wrote that he is doing it as well with the Priestess of the Land of Demons. I guess it's quite a dispute with Hinata."

"Why?"

"Shion claims that Naruto agreed to bare her a child."

"Wait, what? What!? Isn't that a little backwards - don't you mean that he agreed that she could bare his child?"

Gaara just shrugged as the sand descended downwards to the small tent. Gracefully they both stepped off.

"Jaqui." Gaara greeted the graying nomad first. As normal he wore short shirt about his waist and nothing over his chest.

"Kazekage." The man responded shocking Kankuro to his bones, and then what shocked Kankuro more was how his younger brother was studying the half-naked man intimately, staring at his chest and arms.

Jaqui noticed, "Do I offend you with my dress?" Peering down at the Kazekage from the tip of his nose. His previous respectful gaze churned to impertinent.

"No," The Kazekage's eyes met his own, "I was wondering if it's helpful for one to see others who have similar scars."

"Humph, why should it matter? Scars in the desert mean survival and surviving is always a victory even if the scars come from initial defeat." His dark eyes belittled the Kazekage who coldly ignored the stare.

"Why are you not inside the tent? Who said this was for chatting here?" An elder voice crackled.

Jaqui opened the flap.

"My brother joins us." Gaara announced, entering in.

Unsure what he was getting into, Kankuro glanced left and right trying to decide if there was a way to make an escape.

"You suna children must not have been raised well to keep your elders waiting. Now both of you, _sit_."

Disgruntled Kankuro stepped forward. Woven mats covered the floor. Painted upon them in red was the same markings the nomads had placed of the office floor back when they helped his brother with the haunting issue… Frowning, he sat and leaned towards his brother.

"Does this have to do with the previ-"

"SILENCE!" The elder cracked. Immediately chanting began.

"Ummmmmmmm. MMMmmmmmmmmmm. Ummmmmmm. Ooooooohhhhhhmmmm. Hoooooommmmmmmeeee. Weeeeee. Arrreeeeee. Toooooooo. Beeeeee Freeeee. Seeeeeeee. Meeeeeeeeeeee. Hooommmmme."

Vibrations warmed the sand and echoed in the dry air.

Seated, Gaara closed his eyes.

Opening, he was back in the gray space - and remembered everything. Yumi had been attacked by the Oni. The Oni had not yet returned. Taiki and others were trying to hold off the devils. The nomads worked with the Priestess…

"Whoa." Kankuro looked left and then right. "I remember- How could I forget?"

"None in the living can remember when they are in the realm of the devils and dead. Now we must hurry. You were late."

She, Chaqui, and Jaqui all floated forward. Gaara and Kankuro ran.

"Imagine what you think you'll see when you pass." Gaara reminded his brother of the trick to get from the in-between world to the first level of the dead, where the spirits all were.

"My friends and family, and all those that were before us." Kankuro grinned, obviously seeing something pleasant.

Gaara said nothing has he again was met with a bone gate, now dripping with blood. Skulls bordered its frame. Murderously it towered over them as they dashed towards it. Two massive axes hung as door handles with double bladed sides while down each door was charred the words _Death God_. With soul chilling silence, the doors shuttered open like a mouth ready to consume.

Holding his breath, Kazekage passed through the ominous gate with the nomads and his brother.

"Whoa." Kankuro's run paused. The previous neutral gray bustling with spirits was now foreboding with viciousness crackling through it.

"We need to meet with the others. They should be here." The elder suddenly split into three: one old, one mid-30s, and the last teen age.

Kankuro followed, but not without looking to his brother for explanation.

"The oni that was called to attack us during the war is still lurking free. They believe it's rebelling against its station and hiding among the lower levels, riling up the devils to rise out. With more devils that rise, the more powerful ones will start to come through and eventually they may push to the living." Gaara gave the quickest update.

"You gotta be kidding me. So we have peace while this place is at war?" Kankuro shook his head at the irony.

"The closer they get to the living, the more they will affect it." Chaqui answered back.

"This way." The elder made a sharp turn and soon they blurred through the layers of gray.

"Wait is that…" Kankuro studied ahead.

"Hey!" Naruto waved with a horse-size Kurama behind him.

"Kazekage-sama, Kankuro!" Ino and Rock Lee also waved.

A blond spirit with purple eyes nodded to the elder. She spoke as soon as they stopped, "it seems we are all here. Those with strong mental and spiritual taijutsu skill sets will do best on this side. I fear the next time we meet, we'll need to bring even more souls to help our fight. More and more spirits are having to reincarnate so not to be destroyed."

Gaara side eyed Kankuro, "Repeat it in your head frequently that it would be good to have Shira meet the nomads."

"Can't I just remind you later?" Kankuro muttered back, not really keen on repeating something so simple over and over.

"Nothing here is ever specifically remembered. Only in trying to influence our subconscious can you maybe affect yourself when you are back." Chaqui smugly informed the Suna ninja.

"Yeah, I remember you telling me last time that Yumi was alive and you were looking for her when we were in this space before, but when Ino got your letter - I remembered nothing of that." Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"Kazekage, is she…" Ino rushed forward and stopped, pain reflected on her semitransparent face. "-doing okay? I promise I'll come as soon as I can finish making arrangements."

"I understand. It may be the best with visitors taking a bit. Gives her time for adjusting. I recently found that too many people at once is not the best. But, it might be good if you write to her though." Gaara's eyes went to the side as he remembered Hiiro's overwhelmed face as she met Hisoka (his disguise), Rikuto, Matsuri, Ran, Ueno, and Ameno all at the same time over an extended period, orchestrated by his brother to avoid suspicion from the council…

* * *

**_flashback_**

Knowing exactly where to go because he had chosen it, he, as Hisoka, walked into the restaurant. Kankuro had set up the Lucky Dune as his instruction and selected the room with the aquarium.

Without eye contact or speaking to anyone, he walked right into the private room. His now slender hand and small fingers slid the door open to reveal he was not the earliest to arrive. Rikuto and Ameno already sat at the set table, while Matsuri and Ran stood side by side and Ueno off to the side chatting.

Heels clicking as he slipped into the room, Gaara shut the door behind him nearly catching his long blonde hair.

"I've seen you around the ninja grounds, correct?" Matsuri's gaze jumped off her boyfriend to him.

"Yes," he purposefully bobbed his head, causing the long ponytail to brush against the back of his exposed legs.

"I'm Matsuri and this is Ran."

"Hisoka"

"Rikuto," raised two fingers blindly.

"Ameno, I assume you know?"

"Yes." He answered immediately, knowing Kankuro had already explained everything to them.

"Did you meet her before?" Matsuri asked. "She saved Ran's life."

"She saved me on the battle ground too. And then I met her again when Leaf's Ino and Sakura wrangled her into the medical tent for checks." Ameno looked up her mature kind gaze immediately made Gaara believe he made the right choice.

"Alright, sorry I'm late." Kankuro walked in with a very well covered Yumi right behind him. "How about everyone sit."

Quickly he picked a spot opposite of the aquarium that she had stared at before, which ended up being next to Ameno.

"Hiiro, why don't you sit here?" Again Kankuro followed his instruction perfectly, seating Hiiro next to him and then promptly sitting on the other side of her. Matsuri sat next to Kankuro with Ran right next to her, leaving Rikuto and Ueno opposite them.

"So these are all friends of mine and like Ueno they will help you get to know the area." Kankuro grinned at Hiiro whose head had to turn to look at him with her eye patch on.

He wanted to tell her to take it off, but he as Hisoka wouldn't know such a thing.

"Let's do introductions - hopefully you all know me, Kankuro. This is Minawa Yumi, otherwise known as Salt Hiiro." Kanuro's arm came around her and instead of speaking she just nodded her head.

"Hisoka." Again Gaara spoke his alias's name.

"Ameno"

"Uemo"

"Rikuto"

"Ran"

"Matsuri."

"Good." With a pull of a chakra string, the door opened and a waitress came in.

"What would you all like to drink?"

Gaara turned over the menu. Immediately his eyes went to a single word - _kuro_. The Kuro tea flight: a set of three special vibrant and bold black teas.

"Hiiro?" Kankuro looked over to Yumi.

Her head shook no. "I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm…. _Good_." Her glove fingers had briefly picked up the menu before promptly setting it back down.

"You aren't going to drink anything? Doesn't have to be saki, though if I remember right you like Saki so it could be that too. Kami knows Ran needs a drink after the rounds he's been through today." Matsuri gave a loving look to the man next to her.

"It's fine if you are not thirsty." Rikuto immediately commented in a firm and steady voice though his eyebrows were furrowed as if he was wishing he could see.

"How about a water?" Kankuro suggested, and then turned to the waitress. "She'll take a water."

Gaara stared at Yumi. She had to be the reason the tea flight existed, maybe that merchant had done it for her. But regardless of how it came to be, he knew it was hers.

"And you miss?" The waitress was now waiting on him.

"Your Kuro tea flight."

"They have tea flights?" Ameno frowned in surprise, picking up the menu. Her gaze then flicked up to the waitress, "do you have a green tea flight?"

"Ah, if you select three, I'm sure we can make it." The waitress grinned uncertainly.

"Do you have any suggestions?" Ameno asked.

Gaara eyed Yumi. From their morning conversations, he knew that she knew teas but… Yumi stayed silently her eye bouncing from one person to the next. Seeing his stare, it immediately downcasted and her gloved hands returned to her lap under the table.

An unease went through him. He had thought this would be the best bet for covering up Yumi's current situation from the council until Baki got them out of the village. But seeing her close further and further up, he realized his mistake. Her being comfortable with him, was not the same as her being comfortable with Hisoka and the others. Not knowing what to say to comfort her, he said nothing…

"So now that we all had drinks - why don't we share a bit about ourselves and just talk, hm?" Kankuro cheered his water cup to the others.

Gaara watched as Hiiro did the same as the others in lifting it, but unlike everyone else - she did not drink.

"So Yumi, I heard you stayed in tea country?" Matsuri asked to make conversation.

A pause occurred before she nodded her head.

"What was that like?" Ameno followed it up. Yumi's eye went to her but she did not reply.

"Probably like here but greener I suspect, and more tea." Rikuto answered. "To someone like me who's now blind, scenery doesn't mean much anymore. But tea country should be less hot and have significantly more things for my nephews to cause me to trip over."

"Ah, they don't do that to you a lot do they?" Ran leaned forward to talk to Rikuto.

"You'd be surprised, can't say my ninja skill set has dulled with those tricksters about." He smiled as his hand drifted over his place setting again, memorizing everything's location.

Except Hiiro and himself, the group laughed. Much of the dinner was like that - bonding over small comments as they got to know each other. Matsuri shared stories of being his only student. Uemo shared how he used to be more rash and arrogant, and the trouble him and his _friends_ would get into. Kankuro shared about puppets and new designs. Ameno shared on medicine and her like for flowers. Ran talked about music and sound vibrations. Even he, as his alias, bonded as he followed what Asami had told him to do. He shared about being new and that he liked reading _romance _to which Ameno and Matsuri promptly sighed and agreed.

However Yumi barely reacted at all and spoke even less. If asked a direct question, a large pause would come before she stuttered through a generic answer only if someone else didn't speak first. When it came time to order, she did select gyutan with rice and a large soup but she ate none of it. She didn't even pick up her chopsticks or spoon. As dinner closed out, Gaara wondered if this had been a mistake. While it seemed good for others and even his alias, it seemed as if it had been too much for her.

"Thank you all for coming, I hope it was good." Kankuro smiled, he too had observed Yumi from the corner of his eye. "What do you think Yumi? Want to do this again?"

"If-if, If you, if you want, if you want to have me join… I don't, I'm not… I know that... uh... but... I... I thought this was _nice_. So... ummm... Thank you, uh, thank you for having me join." Her voice was soft and hesitant. It twisted Gaara's heart to hear it like that.

"It was nice, wasn't it? We should do it again." Matsuri smiled.

"I enjoyed meeting you all!" Ran glanced about the table.

"Being the second youngest here, I enjoyed hearing your stories." Ueno nodded back to him and then the others.

"Me-me too." Hiiro bobbed her head.

"Same." Rikuto grinned confidently.

"Shall we drink to that?" Kankuro raised his glass.

"Yes." Ameno agreed.

Again he watched as Yumi did not drink, and his heart hurt.

* * *

_**Back to Present**_

"Maybe I'll write her instead so she can get to know me first. Anxiety can be common in those with complete amnesia, and she had before too, right?" Ino's head tilted to the side in thought.

"When you go, I'll go too." Naruto bounded forward with Kurama watching behind him.

Ino's head shook, "No, I think the current plan is good. Myself, Sai, Master Tsunade, Shikamaru, Temari, and our kids. Maybe you can set it up so we are helping with Suna's medial program while we are there so that Yumi doesn't feel like everything's targeting her."

"Hn," Gaara grunted. The name list was still too long.

"We did not come here for you to talk." The youngest of the nomad elder clones spoke.

"Namari-dono" The purple eyed priestess bowed to the elder, "You mentioned there's a way to pursue the Shinigami to our side?"

"Yes, him" The blind elder's finger pointed out to the Kazekage.

"What!? What's Gaara going to do?"

Gaara narrowed his gaze. This had to do with that Shinigami.

"If this is your plan, you need a better one."

"Kurokawa Taiki." The elder's blind eyes closed. "Kurokawa Taiki." "Kurokawa Taiki."

"That person didn't come last time." Minato stepped forward.

"He will this time. "Kurokawa Taiki. Kurokawa Taiki."

"Without more, we won't be able to push back." The priestess spoke looking across the group. "If you are killed here, you will die. If you are already dead and do not reincarnate before they crush your soul, you will be gone forever. The devils from the lower levels are pushing closer and closer to the barrier between us and the living. If they break through, I fear-"

"They won't. We'll find a way." Naruto interrupted the woman.

"_Child!_" The elder who had been chanting smeared with a fist tightened. Sighing she looked to the group. "We all will need bring more people with us the next time." The elder glanced about the group.

Gaara did the same. Floating away from Naruto, he approached his father and mother.

"Father," He searched their semi translucent faces. "How are things here?"

"You should not be here. None of you living should." His mom ghosted forward.

"Have you found Yumi?" His father avoided the question.

"Yes." Gaara accepted it.

"How's she doing?" His mother's gaze changed.

The image of Yumi practicing her physical therapy motions in his living room popped in his head, listening to music Ran had suggested. Her mid-thigh length skirt easily showed off the sown in shorts as she changed positions. Fading scars riddled her exposed shoulders, back, legs; showing that she was truly comfortable being however she wanted around him. Stretching her painted finger nails, a light dusty sky blue, reached towards her painted toes, a glittery dark blue. But unlike before, where her hand could wrap about her feet completely, she could barely reach her shins. Still, when her mix-matched eyes glanced shyly up at him who purposefully chose to read at the table, she smiled.

"She's healing." He finally replied.

"So what's the plan, attack?" Naruto's voice caught their attention.

"Push them back and continue to seek for the Oni." The priestess answered.

His mother floated by him to go to Kankuro. His father glanced to him, "Do you remember how to fight in this plane?"

"Yes."

"Good. We will fight alongside you and your brother. Do you remember how to return?"

"Yes." Gaara remembered the detailed instruction he got last time.

His father nodded his head.

"Split into teams of 10, remember it takes four to take on a Shinigami, seven to take on level 4 spirit, and ten to take on a level 5 spirit. If you see or feel any from the levels lower than 5, let us know immediately. We will either have to retreat or all ban together to defeat them!" The elder shouted out to all.

"Wait, the lower, is higher?" Naruto glanced to Kurama.

Ino rolled her eyes, "Level 1 - here, normal spirits." She then put up two fingers, "Shinigamis", three fingers "Oni - the gate keeper, and then four to nine. Each lower level worse than the one before… right?" She glanced to the priestess.

"Yes, if those from the ninth make it up, we are doomed for the higher-up they go towards our plane, or more so the higher level living they are - the more powerful they will be."

That caused Gaara to frown, "so it would be better to fight them in their own levels?"

The elder scoffed, "who would dare go to the ninth? While we must search the Oni's plane for the creature, going any further would be risking death. Here they come in small groups, but there they are in mass and one with their planes. Instead of going into a rattle snake pit, it'd be like going into the snake's stomach already poisoned."

Gaara frowned further. If they had to wait and fight the demons at a disadvantage, and if there were so many at each of the levels -then how would they ever win?

"We need to find the Oni." Chaqui answered the unspoken question.

"Naruto, Karama, Chaqui, and Jaqui will go to the Oni level. The rest of us, we need to push them back and keep the gates free."

"Got it." Naruto's father glanced to his son, "I'll help you through the Death God's realm."

"Me too." An old man Gaara vaguely recalled spoke.

"We'll protect the gate." Rock Lee nodded to Ino and then looked to him.

Gaara, the Kazekage nodded walking towards them. He was joined by Kankuro. And then His parents, Ino's father, Neji, a man Ino called Asuma-sensei, and Chiyo. With Rock Lee and Ino, this made their group of ten.

"A leader or two should be decided for every group." He studied his own group. Chiyo, his father, Neji, and the Asuma-sensei along with himself were all applicable leaders.

Every group of ten began briefly discussing or quickly selecting. Rock Lee, Ino, Asuma-sensei, Neji, Kankuro, his mother, father, and himself all made a circle. Everyone studied the other

Gaara looked to this Father, the Konoha teacher, and Neji. "Given that I'm still learning this realm, one of you who has remained here would be best."

"As Kazekage, I made a number of hard decisions - but we were in conflict with Leaf. It may be better for one of you to lead us."

"Asuma Sensei?" Neji glanced to the ninja teacher.

The bearded man frowned, looking between the two Kazekages. "Fine fine, but Lord Rasa or Lord Gaara should be the second."

"Then my father will be the second." Gaara spoke before his father could. His gaze landed on his fathers with a knowing look. Having only been in this realm a handful of times, he was still learning its dynamics.

"Fine. Remember, if about to be destroyed, you must retreat and pull yourself from this world or reincarnate. If these things kill you, your soul will be gone from existence, much like how a Shinigami kills."

Neij nodded and glanced to Rock Lee. "If you are destroyed here, you will not only die in the real world, your soul will be gone too."

Rock Lee's hand waved away Neij's words as if they had physically materialized, "got it, got it."

"Is everyone prepared?" The Priestess's voice boomed out as she looked upon the large group of spirits.

"Yes! Let's go kick some spirit butt!" Naruto's fist went into the air.

"Stay with your ten and be ready! We are off!" The elder's voice boomed. She, the priestess, Jaqui, and Chaqui: all those who were dead and those used to this world were able to glide and just move forward without any other motion, while he, Kankuro, Naruto, Rock Lee, and Ino all ran. Again Gaara found himself observing those who could just float, trying to determine how they did it.

"They are ahead! Split!"

At the call they all spread out, staying within their group of ten. With no order they charged the 15 some monsters ahead. The spirits were large, disfigured, and held an energy that always reminded him of that vengeance seeking vortex. But at least this time he didn't habitually move his hands to call the sand that didn't exist in this plane.

"Neji, Lord Rasa, Lady Karura, Ino, Kankuro - attack first. Lord Gaara, Rock Lee, Chiyo, Inoichi, and myself in the second wave. This bugger is a level five. Be careful."

Neij palms gracefully struck out repeatedly until he finally kicked the man towards Lord Rasa and Lady Karura. They ducked and dodged and attacked. Followed by Ino and Kankuro.

"Watch it!" Akuma-sensei and Inoichi shouted at the same time as Ino just barely ducked a killing claw. Four arms burst from the three headed monster giving him six deadly claws, three heads, and two legs. Fangs upon fangs covered its body.

"Aeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!" Chiyo advanced, aiming straight for its head. Her body flipped and ducked. Landing her spirit morphed into a younger version of herself, something Gaara had seen a photo of once.

"Shit!" Inoichi's foot got caught by the monster as his Father was suddenly thrown back.

Three mouths opened and screams that pushed all of them back erupted.

Gaara grit his teeth as he felt his soul vibrate painfully.

Out of nowhere something hit his head, throwing him to the left straight through Neij. His spirit slid into another fight.

"Shit, get out of there!" A nin he didn't recognize grabbed his foot and pulled him back from out of the demon. "You okay lil Kazekage-sama?" The man brushed his soul off before turning back to his team. "Aye, gotta go!"

"Damn more are coming."

"Keep them back from the gate."

"Five down!"

"Six are coming through!"

A strain coursed through Gaara. Taijutsu was not his strongest feat. In his mind he started making a list of those he needed to invite to mediate with him - Shira at the top.

Returning to his team, Gaara assisted them in achieving victory over their single opponent. But after that one was another. And then another…

The battle raged, buying time for Naruto and the Priestess to search through the Shinigami level and the third level for the Oni.

A massive hand grabbed his neck from the back and squeezed.

Gaara's eyes popped outwards as his soul struggled. A single, bellowing thought was forced into him - _'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?'_

Images of Yumi were pressed into his brain.

'_DARE TO GO BACK ON YOUR DEBTS!_' A second violating thought about ruptured Gaara's heart.

"Oh shit!" Kankuro cursed at the sight of his younger brother being held up by his neck. The spirits all half paused, seeing four Shinigami now standing on their battlefield, one of which had captured the current-Kazekage.

"He's not dead! If you kill him, he will be!" His mother shouted out. Distracted, she never saw the claw swipe from behind her.

"Reincarnate! Now!" His father screamed out as long blades on the tips of the demon's hands shredded through her spirit.

With a nod of her head, her spirit turned to light and shot into the void overhead.

His father grit his teeth as Kankuro looked on helplessly.

"It's impossible to take four Shinigami and a level four demon." Asuma-sensei stated out loud what everyone in their group thought.

"We can help you." Another group headed their way.

"And us."

Gaara's hands went to the death god's fingers, but could do nothing to pry it from his neck. Struggling, he forced his voice out. "If these things get through, they will hurt her. I'm abiding by the debt. Help us."

A growl prickled his spirit as an ominous cloud expanded. Without warning, he was soaring through the plane again, this time thrown by the death god. The Shinigami's charged. While the Spirits went into fighting formation, with one pulse of their power, they split apart. The death gods attacked three of the demons.

"They are on our side?" Neij frowned, studying the numbered creatures that kept the order for all of the dead souls.

"For now." Gaara rubbed his neck, a soul did not bruise like the flesh but still he now knew that if he went against that death god, he would not win. Not unless he found a way to become stronger.

Glancing to the gate Naruto and Kurama had gone through, he wondered if his own one tail demon would be willing to work with him again. For Yumi and the living world, he repeated in his head that he should try.

"There's trouble below!" Jaqui sped out through the gate to the second level. "Too many demons are there."

The Shinigami's paused, their head turning. _'Our Plane, Our Domain.' _ The thought with images of death gods looming in the darkness pushed into all.

The four swept past Jaqui. A scream unlike any before sounded. Seven more numbered Shinigamis appeared and followed through. The war continued.

"The Shinigami's are helping push them back!" Chaqui popped out and stared at Jaqui in wonder.

Jaqui nodded his head, "we need to use this time while we can. Soon we'll retreat." He glanced back to the fighting souls.

Gaara found his own head nodding with everyone else. While the Shinigami were helping them get a surge going in the right direction, it would only be moments until the demons again would be too much.

"Hopefully Naruto has found that Oni thing." Ino muttered as her gaze went back to their opponent.

"Yeah, we can count on him." Rock Lee made a fist bump.

"We must remember to bring more with us the next round." Gaara did not feel as hopeful. The death god had given him an ominous feeling he could not shake.

"Heh. No one would believe us." Kankuro muttered as he wiped the non-existent sweat from his translucent brow.

Gaara's eyes flicked to him, "we will bring more to mediate. We must."

Solemnly Ino's head nodded in agreement.

...

* * *

Gaara sat up in his home office. Today he felt tired.

Always after meditating with the nomads he felt tired, and yet part of him felt it was important. Something he needed to bring even more to do. For while tired, he also felt a bit stronger. As if somehow it was some form of training - maybe an ancient spiritual type.

Inhaling, he withheld a sigh. The report before him was on the ninjas who had attacked their own. Something had caused them and their jutsus to strike out at all around. The more he read, the more he felt it was poison or a chakra attack. Frowning, he wondered why peace could not just stay peaceful but at least Kankuro was on top of it.

And Kankruo was doing a good job with Yumi too. Despite the previous dinner going poorly, he had invited her out again with everyone. For the the last two hours that was where she and he were. Hopefully this time she would eat something and feel more at ease. While he was curious to join again, Gaara was not up to putting on that facade tonight.

Closing his eyes briefly, he couldn't shake that feeling of weariness that seemed to cling to him. While he felt his awareness of his surroundings and others may have improved, the fatigue that came with the strange meditation carried a great toll. The drawback would be too much risk to Yumi, though he once read that meditation was good for those struggling...

Part of him again wondered if he should bring her up to the nomads. They normalized scars more and might now more how to help her soul with their spiritual walks that they tended to idolize. However Gaara couldn't help but feel protective over her. And his trust of the nomadic tribe was rather poor considering they often still threatened and insulted him along with the rest of the Suna village.

Despite his fatigue and having not eaten yet, Gaara continued on through his paper work. He didn't cease until the precise moment Kankuro and Yumi stepped onto his sand outside of his house. Shuffling his papers back into an easy order for him to pick up again later, he placed them all away. Before his brother could knock, he opened the door.

"Evening Brother." Kankuro greeted. Both stepped in, Yumi again carrying to go boxes.

With a sweep of his hand, Gaara paused his brother's sight while Yumi continued towards the table. In a single step, Gaara exited his own house. Kankuro followed him. The door shut between them and her. His teal eyes met his brother's brown. He knew he held a frown on his sand mask and both of them looked ready to rest.

"Well," Kankuro kicked the sand and shrugged, "she talked more at least."

"But didn't eat."

His brother's head shook sadly no. "Except this time she was the one to ask if we'd do it again at the end of the night."

Gaara frowned, confused. "Maybe not do something with food then."

"Eh." Kankuro glanced to the night sky and then back to his Kazekage. "Baby steps brother, baby steps."

With a single nod, he accepted Kankuro's words.

"Good night." They both spoke before turning their separate ways. Briefly Kankuro placed a hand on his shoulder, before pulling it off to produce a Yumi in frame. Gaara nodded his head to the fake before watching the two of them leave. Soul tired, he too retired to his house.

Yumi stood at the table with her eye patch, hood, and scarf covering nearly all of her face. The to-go boxes she had brought in were not in the fridge but sitting out on the table in front of her. Her eye studied him.

Standing still, he waited sensing a lingering question in her eye.

Finally her voice came through the scarf, "ah- y-y-you eat?"

His head slowly moved back and forth, "not yet."

Her head rose at his statement as if hopeful. "I… I-I got you gyutan with rice and me soup… if you… if you want to have it." Shyly her eyes went to what she had brought in for them.

Stunned, he just stood there.

_That_ was exactly what she had ordered before. Salted beef tongue with rice and soup. And previously, she had asked if he had eaten the moment she had returned from dinner. Except as Hisoka, he had - so that was what he had told her. After hearing that she had just nodded her head and asked where the food should go. He told her the fridge expecting her to eat it for lunch another day. But she didn't. Her food just sat in the fridge. Some nights she randomly opened the door, look at him, look at in the fridge again, and then just shut it... And then finally he threw the old dishes out, wondering if she had just accidentally selected something she didn't like.

Except... this was exactly what she had ordered before... Had she ordered it for them back then too? For him?

Gaara had stood quiet too long, and suddenly she began to fidget a bit before him. Her hand slipping under her hood to her bangs. As it dropped to her side, her head turned to the fridge, "ah, you don't have to. It's, it's probably too cold… I can... I can put it in the fridge."

"No." Gaara immediately took one step forward. "I like it. Salted tongue is a favorite of mine. Thank you."

Her single gaze went back to him, before her head nodded.

"I'll warm it up, if you want to get comfortable." He approached the table, his gaze studying her clothes.

"I'll…. change." He couldn't see if she was smiling, but some part of him just felt she was.

Unable to do anything else, Gaara watched her walk towards her room. It wasn't until she closed the door that he was able to pull his gaze back to the two take out boxes.

For them… she had gotten this for them. Tentatively, as if to savor it, he opened the bags that held the two to-go boxes. This time there was even tea, one of which he recognized as the Kuro flight he had read about before, the second was one he sometimes drank. Picking up the tea, Gaara felt his heavy heart beat even in his fingers. Placing it back down, he moved to the kitchen for cups and plates.

Still feeling the abnormal heartbeat, he mentally made a note to cut down that mediation time with the nomadic elder, especially if it was going to affect his cardiovascular system this much.

* * *

**Dun dun dunnnnnnn**

**As normal - Please review**


	20. Chapter 20: An Every Day Try

**No new reviews. :(**

**But bright note- I'm posting faster? So half win? ^-^**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter as normal. It's a little slow but much needed. Something to note is Hiiro still thinks of herself as mostly Hiiro, but others think of her as Yumi. So both names get used depending on perspective and how that person feels. We also do touch a bit on topics that could be triggering to some (suicide, depression), but this time it's more in the getting-better light.**

**Anyways, Cheers & Enjoy!**

**\- Rain**

* * *

"I will be at work late today, again." His even keel words were said with his normal stoic face.

Hiiro met his soft teal eyes with ease, her mouth softly smiling out of nature. "Okay. I'll try cooking again then."

Her eyes went to his hands that expertly swirled the pan while his gaze stayed on her. "Just work on things that are boiled first."

Hiiro's head nodded. "Asami's teaching me to use the stove better."

_"Better?"_ Gaara's lips tipped up. Remembering the black billowing smoke and her panic that she had destroyed the kitchen, he couldn't help but smile. His sand had stopped her from placing water on the grease fire before promptly snuffing it out directly for her.

"I won't- I won't- I won't destroy your pan a-a-a-gain." Hiiro studied his back, nervous. She knew how terrible she had messed up previously.

"Pans and pots are immaterial. You can destroy as many as you like; I'd just like to be around for it." The tone held no feelings, as if he was simply stating something.

Hiiro studied Sabaku's back unsure if he was teasing her, mocking her, or truly meant it. Feeling her ears warm and a funny feeling within her chest, she dropped her eyes to the tea her hands gingerly cupped around. Embarrassingly blushing, Hiiro found solece in the cup. Her fingers drifted closer to the cup's sides before floating away, feeling the warm radiate from it. The distraction allowed her heart to calm...

"Ah," she remembered something she had always wanted to ask. "You-you like what you do, right?"

Again she brought her hands in, this time leaving them on the warm glazed ceramic. The dark tea smelled well brewed, though she still wanted to rise early enough to be the one to brew it.

"Yes." He answered with his back still turned. Placing vegetables into the thinly cooked egg batter, he turned to her. "It connects me to the village and makes me needed. With this position I can protect and have deeper bonds."

Hiiro's head naturally nodded though there were no thoughts in her head. She stared out his patio doors to his cacti that were stacked at different height rows on the tables. Some of his his pots were plain where others, that seemed more displayed, where uniquely shaped, patterned, or colorful.

"Do you-" he hesitated, causing her eyes to draw up to his teal observant gaze, "-want a job? You do not need to get one, but if you'd like-"

Hiiro's head shook. "I'm not-" She paused as self-depreciation made it hard for her to believe anyone would want to hire her for more than just the embroidery she was already doing.

As he waited for her to continue, her mind clicked through what little she remembered. "I… I know we traded, and that I worked at a spa… I remember h-helping with kids once too… But-"

Stress buzzed through her. How could she do those things now? That memory of her- had she been babysitting, nannying, daycare? Whatever it was, she had been rushing around, juggling kids, toys, food. The memory of the spa had been so brief she also did not actually know what she did… same for knowing her family was traders. And what if she did remember, but like so many things else couldn't do it anymore at all?

"You do not need a job." His enigmatic voice soothed the storm that had rose within her. "How you are now, is fine. But if you wanted one, I could help. There's many options."

He set a plate of half an omelet perfectly rolled with vegetables and already cut into slices down in front of her. Then his own plate clicked down and he sat across from her, as he always did in the morning. His gaze did not leave hers until a very long pause had occurred.

Then he glanced to his place setting. Single-handedly he took a sip of his tea before picking up the chop sticks. His well combed red hair stayed perfectly still as his head bent slightly down.

"O-options?" Curiosity bubbled within her. He had options for her?

His gaze drew back up, "Hn."

Her hands retreated from the warm cup. One fell into her lap while the other mirrored him in picking up the chopsticks as well. She studied the omelet, chopsticks paused right above the first piece, before her mismatched eyes rose back to his face. "Like?"

A gentle smile reflected on his lips, or maybe it warmed his gaze. "Gardening, there's a place that helps supply vegetables and fruit to the village. You mentioned you liked that. Your sewing skills could be of use to the hospital too."

_Useful_, something in Hiiro churned. _Her? _Her chopsticks pinched the first omelet piece, but did not raise it. "_Useful_ to the hospital?"

"Hn." He nodded eating the first bite.

Hiiro did the same.

With his chopsticks back down, his smooth tone continued. "The hospital needs blankets and garments for newborns and patients. Often families of those who have newborns or members that pass are gifted the blanket used in the hospital so they need quilters and those who sew or embroider to help make and donate these."

That strange feeling within Hiiro bloomed further. "I-..." compared to Jun, she was not really good despite the small jobs she was currently getting. "I don't know about that…"

Her chopsticks went to the second piece and slowly she brought to her mouth. As she chewed, the muddled feeling sunk even further within her.

"Your knowledge of teas would allow you to work at a tea shop easily enough or a server."

Hiiro's head shook at that one. While Suna seemed more tolerable, she still remembered the looks she had once received.

"There's libraries that need those to restock books and help organize. I believe the animal shelter also looks for people on a routine basis, if you rather work more alone than with others. Data entry is also needed for the utilities and surveys that help with planning out the village, building our infrastructure, and making sure we are making correct decisions off of the information we have."

"I don't-" Hiiro hesitated, that muddled-murky feeling had at some point switched to nervousness.

"But do you do not have to. How things are now, are good. If you want though, there are options and I'd be glad to be of assistance." With his three sentences, Hiiro found the stress building within her lifted.

Naturally her head bobbed to his words. She stared at the pieces of rolled omelet on her plate as his words echoed in the empty void within her. O_ptions. _

"Th-thank you." Shyly she glanced up to him through her eyelashes, before treating back to eating.

A comfortable silence expanded out, making her feel as if this had once been her normal every day. More than just the tea warmed her soul, as she sat across from him. Maybe one day, she'd make an omelet for him instead… But first, she'd start with getting up early enough to brew tea.

* * *

"I'm glad you could join me today." Rikuto's head did not turn as he spoke. With ease, his hand moved back and forth. His long narrow white cane swept perfectly in front of him.

"Nn-n" Hiiro verbalized her head nod, unsure if he felt them through their interlocked arms. Unlike Ran and Uemo, Hiiro walked side by side with Rikuto. And unlike Ameno, Asami, and Matsuri, she even walked elbow in elbow. Her skirt sometimes brushed his pant leg, a sign of how closely they walked.

Hiiro's single eye watched the streets as Rikuto led the way. She wanted to feel she was getting used to Suna but if he made her guide them back, she knew she could not. Unlike the others, Rikuto could not draw her maps - not that she ever had the chance to use them. If it wasn't Rikuto, it was Ueno, if not Ueno, then Matsuri, or Asami, or Ran, and sometimes Kankuro. Only Sabaku and she did not go out together and she hadn't seen that blond woman since the first group dinner Kankuro invited her too... But everyone else seemed to go with her every where else. This seemed to be a natural part of their every day even though Hiiro wasn't quite sure if it was the job of a normal tour guide or friend-

"Are you eating lunch with Asami today?" His curious tone broke through Hiiro's spiraling thoughts.

Hiiro shook her head no, before she remembered. "No, not-not today."

"Good, join me for lunch today then. It will help the school. There's a fundraiser. I'd like to walk around it, if you don't mind."

Hiiro's eyes locked on a larger building with small tents outside of it. The crowd of people around were all bunched into groups, some in front of a field, others in front of the tent, a third over by tables… A nervousness picked up within her at the sight. When she had agreed to watch his nephew run, she didn't realize it would be so many people.

"What do you see?"

"People." Hiiro answered with her first reaction, her tone filled with dread. Then she remembered he couldn't see and this was for his family. Perking her voice, up, she quickly added more details. "Uh, there's a number of tables under tents. They are blue, red, purple, green- Adults and kids are in the area, the kids are all wearing the same blue uniform. Boys are in shorts and short sleeve button up shirt. Girls are in shorts or a shirt and the same short sleeve button up shirt. The adults are wearing a variety of things, some seem dressed up and others are not. There's a large field with kids on it playing a game, adults and some kids are in the stands… Ummmmm-"

Rikuto smiled beside her, "thank you."

Dumb, her head just bobbed up and down.

Nervousness buzzed within her as they walked into the school area. Unlike when she walked looking for Sabaku or a way to remember, she didn't have the wall right by her where she could make herself seem small. Instead, because of the moving of Rikuto's cane, they seemed to be immediately noticed.

"Would you like to look at any booths before we go find a spot?"

Hiiro mutely shook her head no, though her eye did lock on to a fabric booth that caught her interest as well as a few pots Sabaku might like… but the number of people and newness of the situation was too much.

Knowing she needed to reply verbally, she immediately felt at a loss. As more and more gazes ghosted over them, her voice became more and more mute. As if her lips were glued together, she could not unseal them.

"How about we find seats and then look through." Rikuto spoke again even though she hadn't managed another word.

Hiiro bobbed her head. Her eye went to the booth again, but the ostentatious kids made her not wish to approach.

The metal benches were harsh and people she didn't know waved or nodded their head in greeting. She didn't know if they knew her past self, if they were just being kind, or if they knew Rikuto. One had even asked who their child was that they were watching, but luckily Rikuto answered back that he was here for his nephew and she just came to support the school.

A rowdy group of elementary boys ran onto the field. Hiiro's single eye expanded as one of them looked familiar. If he was wearing his normal half-unraveled turbine, he would have looked exactly like she was used to. The boy, Tetsuya, often was around Ito-Sensei and the salt merchant, Yasushi Kichirou. In fact he was the kid that Kichirou had originally sent after Ito-sensei who eventually gave her Sabaku's name.

"Is everyone out yet?" Rikuto's cane accidentally tapped her shoe.

"Uhhhhhh…." Hiiro's gaze jumped off Tetsuya and scanned the field. "I don't… I don't know?"

The taller blind man smiled, "Actually I don't know how to tell that either. Back when I could just see, I used to just wait until I saw him come out. I never actually paid attention to how to know when everyone was out. Actually this is the first time I've been to one of Ozaki's games since losing my sight."

That cued Hiiro's attention, causing her to turn her head until her single eye could gaze on the retired ninja. She didn't know much about him, just that they had met before, he had become blind due to an injury, and that he had once been an accomplished ninja. A fuzzy feeling within her mind occurred as she stared at him. "This… this is the first time you came here since your- your injury?"

"Hn," He nodded, his blind gaze staring uselessly at the field. His face was focused as if he was looking for something even so.

The fuzzy feeling turned warm but also confused. "Why did you ask me? Not, one of your friends?"

His head partially turned towards her. "We are friends. And, there was a time when every day you used to ask me to do, well try to, leave my room. You did this even if, every day, I left my door shut telling you no and even when I decided not to respond at all to you… You didn't give up on me. You slid letters under my door and kept inviting me to different things. Sometimes you talked through the door despite my silence or harsh words. Back then I couldn't see how to live without being a ninja, but because I was worried you'd be the one to find my body, I also didn't choose to die. And eventually I found I can still feel light even if I can't see it. I might not be a ninja anymore, and many days I still feel alone and always in the dark, but I'm getting through. These days I have more good days than bad. So I wanted to come here with you, since it was you who helped me not give up. Plus since you used to ask all the time for me to go do or see things with you, it seemed fitting for me to be the one to invite you this time, to watch Ozaki's race."

Hiiro's ears just absorbed those words. She didn't know what to say to them. The fuzzy feeling within her mixed. It turned dark and suffocating and at the same time light and almost encouraging.

It also became complicated for she didn't remember him. This _friend_ was not someone she knew. She did write letters but to Jun. The letters from people she didn't know sat on her dresser unopened, especially that one from _Naruto_. Unlike his story, she didn't knock on people's doors every day. She didn't even knock on people's doors once… While his words felt hopeful to her, they still were unfamiliar like everything else. Was the person he was remembering _really_ her?

The complicated feelings churned within the emptiness and void within her.

"I know you don't remember. That's okay. Just know that I know. One day I was a ninja, fully understanding of the risks. I don't regret it. But then the next day, I was hospitalized with severe injuries. And then a few months later, I was told that the surgery I banked my existence on, the surgery that I believed would allow me to regain my sight, wouldn't be able to fix it. So I know, a little, how you feel when suddenly everything has changed. For a while, I pretended everything was okay because that was easier than explaining why it wasn't. And even now I struggle. But life goes on, and despite how impossible it seems, there's always good that's worth trying for."

Hiiro's single eye studied the blind tall broad man. Could he _understand_? But he hadn't actually tried to kill himself, like she had. What would he think if he knew that she had actually tried to die… several times. The complicated feelings within her muddled yet again. And then suddenly an adult on the field began using the loud speaker to announce the relay races were about to begin.

"5,000 meter Sprint! Nin Academy Boys!"

"Ozaki has brown hair and hazel eyes. I-" His voice beside her stopped, drawing her gaze to him again. He looked onto the field with a lost look and frown.

Hiiro glanced back to the children. There were a lot of boys with brown hair and all in the same athletic uniform. She said nothing as she turned her head silently back to the blind man.

That hopeless look settled into disgruntlement and then acceptance, "he should-" His face changed to surprise, "do you hear a bell?"

Hiiro blinked, her ears searching. The smallest sound of bells jingled. Her head and gaze searched.

As claps, cheers, and names came from the stand around them, the noise of the bell was drowned out.

"OZAKI!" Rikuto stood raising his cane in the fluid motion.

Hiiro remained seated, watching as cheers after cheers came, name after name. The crowd quieted and Rikuto sat back down as the boys lined up. Tetsuya, or the boy who looked like him, went to the far outside track. Hiiro locked on to him. His shorts and shirt looked small on him compared to the others; his shoes rather worn. With determined eyes and zero smile, he crouched down.

"Ready, Set, GO!"

The boys rushed off. Tetsuya stayed in his lane like the others and kept up towards the front of the running kids. The crowd cheered while Rikuto smiled.

"Middle!" A boy shouted.

Rikuto's head tilted up at the sound.

"Five behind!" The boy shouted again.

Rikuto almost was looking as he stared blindly. "Ozaki." He whispered, "That's Ozaki."

Again the man beside her stood, "Pace yourself! You can do it OZAKI!" His hands cupped his mouth to shout out; the thin white cane still in hand.

Hiiro stared, looking for the one who was speaking but then her eyes drifted up to Tetsuya who was in third place, running all out. The blonde in second began to slow and Tetsuya overtook him, so did the boy behind him.

"THIRD!" The yelling boy, Ozaki shouted out.

Hiiro had no idea how far they had run in their several laps around the field to the point that those in front had lapped those in the back.

Tetsuya began to approach the first place runner. Running all out, he didn't look back- only forward. His small legs pumped as his shoes kicked up sand. Barely, he passed the other kid, but then the other kid barely made it back ahead. Back and forth they battled, until finally the other kid seemed to run out of gas.

"SECOND!" Ozaki also passed the previous front place runner. Now he too dead sprinted towards the end. He caught up to Tetsuya's heels but the normal hat-wearing boy did not let him pass.

"First place- 3B Tetsuya. Second place - 3B Ozaki. Third place - 3A Yang-" announcements began causing Rikuto to stand yet again in cheer.

Hiiro watched as Tetsuya on the side stood bent over, panting. The other boys cheers, high-fived, and grouped together. But he stood off to the side heaving for air. A fellow classmate approached him and suddenly Tetsuya bolted up and punched that boy in the mouth. The kid hit back and soon five more joined in, including Ozaki. Teachers broke up the fight, scolding everyone especially Tetsuya who had started it. Allowing the other kids to leave, Tetsuya seemed to be directed towards a wall, where he sat against it hands over head.

"_What are you doing!?"A voice boomed from beside her causing her to jump up. Caught, she put her hands behind her back and grinned in hopes her friends wouldn't be noticed. _

_"Fifty laps in punishment then wall sit until I get back!" The voice was not deterred._

"_But-" She stepped forward, secretly dropping the bright colored snakes she had been playing with behind her._

"_NOW!" The voice boomed again and she immediately took off._

At the memory, Hiiro's mind raced. There had been trees so it wasn't Suna. A small building was there so maybe she had skipped school? Had she been a troublemaker when young? Hiiro frowned, her mind searched for what she was wearing. Not remembering it, she automatically filled it in- maroon skirt, white shirt, cute tie, white socks, and black shoes. Her pig tails would have two maroon ribbons tied perfectly into bows in them. Watching Tetsuya sit on air against the wall, she had trouble imagining herself doing the same despite the memory of being instructed to do so. Maybe she skipped that too?

Who knew she had been a hoodlum!

"Uncle!" A boy's voice and the sound of bells broke Hiiro from her thoughts.

"Ozaki, well done!"

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes, thank you."

The relatives grinned at each other. Okazi shifted his weight as he glanced to her, causing the bells on his ankle to jingle.

"Oh, this is Minawa-san."

"Greetings Minawa-san." Perfectly Ozaki bowed in respect.

"Greetings." Softly she replied awkwardly back.

"3B!" A teacher called out below.

"Ah, need to go. Thank you for coming Uncle."

"Of course. You did great."

The boy grinned ear to ear with a verbal hum. "Next time I'll get first, okay."

"I look forward to it." Rikuto nodded as the bell sound jumped away back to his class.

Rikuto listened until the noise was in the distance and then turned to Yumi, "shall we look around?"

"If-if you want."

"Come, let's find something to eat." Slowly he rose one final time and then offered her his arm. Hiiro accepted it, unsure how to feel about going back into the crowd. But there was that one interesting pot that Sabaku might like...

…

* * *

Peace flooded back through her as she closed the front door behind her. This was home.

Slipping off one shoe she tilted over with the weight of her bag in her right hand. Refusing to let it drop, Hiiro awkwardly continued the half-tip motion with one shoe on and one off so she could place the bag gently on the ground. A gift for Sabaku was in there.

Righted, she slipped her other shoe off. And then placed her shawl, scarf, and eye path on the tree branch style coat rack he had added by the front door for her to put them on.

Needing to still do her physical therapy for the day. Hiiro's bare feet walked behind the couch back to her room. There she closed her curtains, placed her current clothes into the hamper, and pulled out the sari wrap skirt and a short sleeve shirt. The shirt fit well and did not pull awkwardly across her chest, stomach, or armpits. Then she tied the long loose skirt which she had wrapped about herself. The forgiving patterned fabric fell loosely over her hips and flowed abundantly about her legs giving her the mobility she'd need for the physical therapy movements.

_Tap. Tap. Tap_. Her window clicked. As her head turned, her long straight bangs brushed her shoulders. Without the hood, she felt air on the back of her exposed neck.

As normal she struggled to get the dang window up. But after several grunts, it finally jerked open. Hisa and Jinkun immediately scurried in. They went to her hand. Hisa's little pointy feet crawled up onto it and then up her arm. Jinkun followed. They paused on her shoulder, before scuttling down her torso and into her skirt pocket.

The house was flat without him. But she understood he had work. More and more he worked late. Unlike others who had weekends off, he seemed to work those too. And unlike Jun that had taken breaks all the time - he seemed to take none. But Hiiro liked that about him, his adherence and responsibility.

Walking the other way around the couch she went to the shelf where he had a few items and the radio-cd player. Her eight cases sat next to them, three from Ran, one from Asami, two from Matsuri, and two from Kankuro. Shifting through them she picked the desert rock CD that Kankuro had given her after hearing the music Ran had shared. It easily slipped into the player and soon filled the house. Adjusting the volume until it fitted as background sound, Hiiro paused a moment to listen.

She didn't yet know what Gaara listened to, but this definitely seemed to fit his brother. Smiling to herself, she then padded back to the door and picked up her bag. At the table she unloaded it. Fabric to make a few little things, two pots for Gaara, a beginners cookbook, and a couple new candles she liked the scent of- one warm vanilla and the other a cool cinnamon.

Careful to stay in the shade, she placed the pots outside. The fabric went into her room on the dresser. The candles - one went back on the shelf by the radio and the other, the one she thought Gaara would like better, went into his office. Finally, leaving the cookbook on the kitchen table, she put the bag back in her room, brought out her therapy work books, and grabbed a small towel.

The stretches and motions she did first - checking off each one as she completed it. Heat rose through her as the slight bit of work taxed her muscles and breathing. Flexing to reach her toes - which she most certainly could not, she wondered how flexible she was before. Part of her hoped that she had been good at it, for who didn't want to be, but then part of her really hoped that she wasn't… for if she had been great at flexibility and physical exercise then that just meant it was yet another thing she lost.

Her frown deepened as she breathed heavily while doing the push-ups against the wall. It felt ridiculous compared to what she had just watched the kids at the festival do, but the doctors had said this would help. Wiping the sweat of her forehead with the towel, she checked yet another motion off. Squats were next.

Moments like these made her glad Sabaku worked so late. At least he couldn't see how pathetic, useless, and incompetent she was.

Kankuro's CD stopped at the same time she finished the last move. She switched to the classical music Ameno had given her. An hour plus a day was what her physical therapy motions took up, not including any doctor's appointments. Tired and now hot, she walked past the couch to the kitchen. Pulling a glass out of the cabinet she filled it with water from the sink and then took it with her back to the living room.

She used a coaster as she set it down and picked up her other therapy workbook, of _'how to be less sad'_. With one foot tucked under her skirt and other leg, her toe just barely touched the floor. Wiggling, again, her single foot now dangled complete with her other neatly tucked in. Leaning, she picked up the colored pencils Saruwatari had given her to help _add color_ since she once talked on how she liked colors even though she could only describe herself as gray. She placed the pencils next to her thigh and the workbook on her lap.

She flipped to her paper bookmark- it had a painted purple butterfly with a beautiful writing in two columns below it - _Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over… It became a butterfly and all started anew again. _

Removing the book mark, Hiiro flipped the page. Solid black met her with bold white words - '_Do Not Compare Your Insides With Someone Else's Outsides.'_

Per Saruawtari's instructions, Hiiro stayed on that page and repeated the words in her head. Then she inhaled, then she exhaled, and then she spoke the words out loud. "Do not c-compare your insides with someone else's outsides."

Waiting half a second more on the black and white page, Hiiro thought of Rikuto. He didn't look or act like someone that had also thought of dying. She was glad he hadn't died…

And then Hiiro flipped the page. The next two had a white background. On the first side were two small boxes above one it said 'Write' and the other it said 'Draw', and below both of them it said 'everything negative about your day'. On the second page were two excessively large boxes again with the write and draw except below them was 'everything positive about your day'. Hiiro felt annoyed seeing this. While it had something like this every day… it had something like this _every_ day and _every _day that positive box size was just too large!

Frustrated, she started with the negative one as she always did. She wrote small - _unknown, don't belong, empty, looks from others, stuttered, didn't wake up early enough, Konoha letters, Memories don't make sense…_ Word after word she filled the box. Then she shaded in dark angry colors in abstract shapes, using heavy forceful marks and scribbles. That frustration turned to pure unrelieved aggravation. Every day, she felt like this… Every day she felt _wrong_ and _empty_ and _broken_.

Inhaling and exhaling, she gave herself time to mull on the feelings. Then she turned to the two too-large positive boxes. It was easiest for her to draw first, to help change her mood. She picked her favorite colors - Teal and Purple. She added in complementary and contrasting colors… she even added some red, remembering Sabaku's hair and her maroon uniform. Abstractly filling the massive box, those previous disharmonious and storming feelings faded. With no space left to add more, she was forced to meet the word box.

She wrote large and wrote the first words she always wrote- _Sabaku, Hisa, Jinkun, Tea, Jun's letters._.. Then she added some she didn't always write in - _Rikuto, shopping, library books, remembered something_… And then as there was still so much space, though her lettering became smaller, she wrote a few things she hadn't before- _Cookbook, Watched a Race, Tetsuya won, Rikuto didn't die, bought Sabaku pots, nice candle scents, once played with a snake… _More and more little things came to mind as she worked, causing her to write even smaller and around her initially large words- _Stretched a little further, Kankuro's music, Asami's music, Sabaku's omelet, options, nice day, going to try to practice cooking again…_

By the time she was done, there was more there then she first thought she had. Smiling, Hiiro sat and absorbed the look of the two pages. Maybe she was getting a bit better. Then she turned the page and was met with one pure black page and one white. On the black one it read, _'Switch your mentality from "I'm broken and helpless" to "I'm growing and healing" and watch how your life changes for the better.' _

Annoyance immediately struck through Hiiro. She was broken. She was helpless. She was empty! She was! Gritting her teeth, she still followed the instructions she was given, breathing purposefully before reading it aloud. And still it hammered on a nerve within her, sparking an anger she didn't understand other than she **knew **she was _**broken. **_Knowing she was almost done, she forced her eyes to go to the white page. _'It can be easy to imagine that everything in life is either black or white. One of two Extremes. But… Life happens here, in the gray between them. Fill this page with as many shades of gray as you can find or create. Remember this page when you are thinking in terms of Best or Worst and know that life is gray. Let your life be gray, because there is so much to the world and life that hides amongst the grays.' _

Still feeling some of that previous negative emotion, Hiiro picked up her black and started at the corner again with harsh lines. Then she switched to a gray and changed it from dark to light with varying intensity of her strokes. The more she colored in, the more she absorbed the page until finally the entire white page was as it had asked - colors of gray. She had drawn in swirls and flowers, geometric shapes and buildings, hatch marks and circles- all once again abstract.

Deciding that was enough, Hiiro slipped her book mark between these two pages. Rising, she placed her books back in her room. Again _those_ letters caught her eye- the ones from an Ino, Sakura, and the dreaded Naruto. Pushing them a little further away, she picked up the newly received letter from Jun. Moving to her rocking chair, she sat to read it and then reply. Jun's words always warmed her soul. Maybe from that fabric she bought, she could make something and send it her way. That thought made her smile.

Finished with her letter and all of her writing, Hiiro stretched as she rose. Again she went to the living room CD player. This time she picked the CD from Ran, an upbeat violin mix of music. Walking back towards the kitchen, she retrieved her water glass, sat at the kitchen table, and opened the cook book.

_How to make rice for beginners_.

Her eyes skimmed the page. It didn't seem hard, but when Matsuri had talked about how great it was to make a bento box for Ran, it hadn't seem hard then too… Except somehow her attempt to make one for Sabaku ended up in smoke. Same for the other three attempts at Asami's. But he had said she could start with boiling water recipes and this recipe had a pot and water. Maybe she could make him cute cut fruit, vegetable sticks, hard boiled eggs, and rice. That would be four items to fit into the four slotted bento box she had purchased and yet to give him.

Smiling to herself, Hiiro dug through the kitchen for a pot. Rice couldn't be hard, right? Plus the cookbook would tell her exactly what to do!

Pot, water, stove, rice and then cook. Hiiro began to read the rest of the cookbook as she waited for it to finish. Losing track of time and with the stove on blazing hot-high, the smell of burning drifted across her nose. Her head rose to see not only smoke, but that she hadn't noticed some had spilt over.

"Oh no!" She rose up, but it was already too late. As Sabaku had taught her, she turned off the stove and pulled the pot from the heat. At least there were no flames this time, but the black brown mixture wasn't something she had wanted to see. Frowning she wondered if she hadn't put enough water in to boil the rice or if the stove simply despised her. Hisa had crawled to shoulder to observe and seemingly put his pincher across his face.

"Well at least he's not home so I can clean up and air-air out the house before bed. I thought rice wasn't supposed to be hard." She pouted staring at the burnt mush.

"_You burned it again." she stood on a stool in front of a tiny kitchen looking down at a very-very-very black pot. Bitter at the loss of food she tossed the mess towards the skin and pulled out a new one. "Have to watch it."_

"Have to watch it." Hiiro's eye brows furrowed at the memory. A feeling that she had learned to cook much the same way as she was now drifted through her.

"Maybe we'll try it one more time, k?" Talking to Hisa and Jinkun, Hiiro pulled out yet another pot. This time before starting, she carefully read through the cookbook and all its steps. If she learned this once, couldn't she learn it again?

Her mind jumped to the unused bento box that was hiding in the closet. If she got it, then she could give it to him to take to work each day.

Half swaying to the music in the background, Hiiro started the process all again.

…

* * *

…

Gaara glanced towards the clock as his sand indicated that she was getting up. Each day she seemed to get up a little and little earlier. Rolling smoothly out of bed, his black silk pants brushed his bare feet. His sand brought him a shirt which he placed on as it transported him down to the kitchen. In seconds he had the tea pot filled and on the stove, and a pan out for breakfast. The cookbook he had spotted on the kitchen table last night was still there. Eyeing it, he wondered if he should make her something else to eat. At the breakfast diner, they had a number of options most of which he did not normally eat nor know how to make.

Frowning, he briefly flipped through her cookbook. Porridge, egg rice, and omurice were all in the cookbook under breakfast along with basic eggs. The rolled omelets were mentioned as above beginner which made him decide upon that again. This time he'd use different vegetables and maybe some other type of meat or cheese. Again he moved smoothly and silently through the kitchen gathering his ingredients before placing a few eggs in a bowl and rapidly whipping them.

Yumi exited her room, dressed in a different wrap dress this morning that again fell only to her knees. Gaara could feel her eyes on his back which caused him to turn, "morning."

"Morning." She hummed back. Her hand rubbed the sleep out of her green eye. The single gray eye in contrast to her charcoal hair gave her a mesmerizing appearance.

"Getting enough sleep?" He studied her face. Compared to how he had found her nearly two weeks ago, she looked better and seemed more relaxed.

Her head bobbed at his question as she gingerly walked about the couch over to the kitchen. "Y-you?"

He nodded, noticing that her eyes warmed at his response.

"T-that's good." She replied, her gaze searching the stove.

"Tea?" His hands had already pulled two tea cups out before he even finished asking the question.

Again her head nodded, although her smile was a bit wiry as she stared at the tea pot. Then her eyes and head turned towards the table. Her vision locked on her cookbook, "oh."

Her head spun back around towards him, her body following causing her dress to flare just a bit. Stepping forward she turned on the stove burner next him and then went to the cabinets with the pots and pans. From the side of his eye, Gaara watched as she struggled a bit before finally pulling out a small pot. She set it on the hot burner.

Gaara shut the burner off, while she went to another cabinet and pulled out rice. Then she grabbed soy sauce, sesame seed oil, and dashi. Hands full she placed them by the stove next to her pot and went back to his spice cabinet again. This time she pulled mirin, salt, pepper, and sugar. Then she grabbed a measuring cup and picked up the pot off the stove. Going to the sink, she promptly turned about and double backed to the table. Flipping through the cookbook, she stopped on a page he couldn't see.

"Do you not want rolled omelet?" Gaara found his voice breaking the silence as confusion over what she was doing stirred within him.

Her head popped up from reading, a look of confusion matching how he felt reflected on her face. "Y-you aren't making rolled omelet?"

"I was," he hesitated, wondering if he should have switched. Her gaze searched his until he finally directly asked, "what are you making? Do you want rice porridge for breakfast instead?"

Immediately her eyes scanned his hands, the ingredients he had out and then what she had just finished putting out, and finally the cookbook before her. "I-" Her gaze shot up to his and then bashfully away, "was going… to make you… _a bento box._" Her words turned quieter until they were just a whisper.

Momentarily dumb at the turn of events, Gaara could only think of one thing to say. "I don't have a bento box."

Yumi sprung herself straight with her mixed eyes bright and a pleased grin on her face. The pot went onto the table with the measuring cup. She spun, the dress skirt kicking up again showing the scarring that continued up the back of her legs. Hurried she ran away into her room.

Gaara's gaze dropped to the pot and cup. Considering her previous skills, had she practiced all yesterday afternoon and evening to improve?

Her bedroom door opened and carrying two boxes she hurried until she was alongside of him. Her eyes glowing as her smile just grinned brightly. "I-I do! I-I got one for me and one-one for you. See?"

She set the two identical size bentos down beside him. One was two black rectangles with a natural wood cover. Burned into the wood were eloquent and regal charred designs. A black strap held the two rectangles together. The other bento box was also two rectangles, but these light teal. Again they had a natural wood top but this time were engraved white and purple flowers and blue wave like swirls across it.

Stunned, Gaara just stared.

Yumi's hand went to her dress to grip and regrip the fabric. Then across her arm to touch the sand bracelet, and finally it went into her long styled bangs to brush them back. "Um, if you, if you don't like it… I can take it back or… uh, give-it-to-someone-else."

Awkwardly she placed the light blue one on top of the black as if to hide it from his sight.

"I like it." Gaara finally managed to speak. To say no one bought or brought him a bento box before would be a lie. Plenty did. Yumi even use to bring him lunch from time to time. But for her to again- For her, Hiiro, to pick something out for him…

Complicated feelings arose through Gaara's chest, making his heart feel kind of itchy.

"I'm glad." Ignorant of what the man beside her was feeling, Hiiro grinned to herself. She placed the boxes over to her side of the stove. Grabbing the cookbook, she placed that next to her ingredients and then brought the pot back over. Reading, she then went to the sink with the measuring cup and pot and scooped over water. Then she came back and put in the rice.

"Matsuri said making bentos for Ran was nice, and Ran... Ran said he liked them… So, so I just wanted to make something for you too. I... I hope its okay?" Again her words grew quieter and quieter as she spoke more to the pot before her than him.

That itchy feeling turned stuffy and with not a clue on what else to do, Gaara found his hand had drifted to her head. He nodded, his eyes taking her in. He could hear his heart beat heavily; maybe increasing the Nomad meditation to three times a week was bad. But still, he wasn't sure he'd change it.

As his fingers drifted from her hair, he brought them down towards the stove and turned her burner back on. "It's best not to have the burner on until you need it. And next time I'll show you how to wash your rice."

"Oh-" Yumi leaned back to look at the stove, then her cookbook, and then finally him. "Okay." Her head bobbed before her eyes went to his pan. "Eh! The eggs are burning!"

Instantly Gaara felt tricked and embarrassed. Roughly he turned her face away with his hand, "ignore."

A pleasant laughter bloomed alongside him. He noticed her peeking gazes as her scarred hand hid her smile.

He eyed her laughing form as corners of his own mouth tipped up. "If you are not careful, your rice will boil over."

"Ah!" Yumi sprung back to her own burner frantic. A true smile formed on Gaara's lips at the sight. "Hn," and without a word more he threw out the burnt egg and started over again.

* * *

**Dun, dun, dun! Followed by awwwwwwwww ^-^ Hope you liked it as much as I. **

The work book therapy idea was stolen from an actual book: "_How to be Happy (or a little less sad)_" by Lee Crutchley. I did have to make up a few page ideas, but some are from their book preview too. While therapy, books, work books may not make us 100% better and sometimes can be superficial, they can also help influence change, perspective, and outlook. For those who are also working on depression or overcoming - you are amazing and inspiring even if you don't feel so. For me sometimes it's one day at a time, one hour at a time, and remembering that storms and rain bring flowers and growth.

**Also - any thoughts on Gaara and Yumi? Or what Hiiro will do with those stranger's letters? Or if Yumi will get pulled into the nomadic meditation (and the spirit world)? Or anyone else getting this soon-to-be-heart-break-feeling for when the fully moon finally comes? That has to be only days away now! **

**I do hope you review! I look forward to the critic, theories, and commentary! **


	21. Chapter 21: Dare not Sleep

**LadyKtBaby -** Thank you for the reviews! Very glad you liked the little Gaara-Yumi interactions! I was hoping someone would! ^-^ Also love your theories. I can't give anything away, but more and more I want there to be a spirit possession at some point cause that could be rather humorous. Anyway - I apologize for any heart break this chapter brings you. I'll write more good things later, promise!

**All** \- Bit of a potential trigger warning, not really anything major but this chapter's a little sad/depressed/manic. My apologies but it's apart of the story now. Hope you still enjoy reading and I'll work hard to get the next chapter built so we can go back to the good times.

**Thank you for reading as usual,**

**\- Rain**

* * *

Hiiro woke with dread. She pulled the fat knit blanket over her head. The loose knitting did nothing to hide the world from her sight. Closing her eyes she rolled back over, the hammock still rocking. Then she rolled to the other side, the chunky knit blanket tucking further about her like a tight cocoon. A chill it couldn't warm was spreading from the depths of her soul. Within her mind, that tightly locked space towered ominously. Mentally she threw more and more chains and restraints about it. Mentally she tied even more locks against remembering.

Hiiro's gaze stared at her dresser. The jar with the blue illuminating fairy dust sat still. She didn't remember picking it out, if it was a gift, if she had even liked it or if it was something of Sabaku's. But… not remembering was fine.

The last two weeks had been good enough. Tucking her hands and the blanket to her chin, Hiiro curled up as she stared. She didn't need to know more than she already had. What she knew was coming tonight made it so she didn't _want _to know more. She was happy, had been happy. Breakfast with Sabaku, sometimes dinner… making him the two bentos she did… The others that were becoming like friends. But even with all that-

A chill went through Hiiro again. Frowning, she wished. She wished today didn't exist. That tonight didn't exist. That it, the full moon, didn't exist or at least not hate her as much as it did. At least not take as much pleasure from the torture it loved to inflict on her soul. She couldn't remember it specifically, but she didn't want to. All she knew was even if she wanted to, she couldn't escape the spirit scarring pain. So again this day was here.

Tears filled her eyes. With blurred vision she stared at the blue and white painting. She didn't need to be able to see its words. She had memorized them though. She didn't need to see them to know what it said: _You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean in a drop._

Inhaling through her nose, Hiiro sat up - she was the ocean in a drop. A tiny drop, but the ocean. Water dripped onto her hammock from her face as her tears spilled over. Rubbing her eyelids with her scared thumb, she wiped them away. Crying wasn't going to save her. Nothing was going to save her…

Standing, the hammock stopped rocking.

Silent, she dressed.

Long sleeves, long skirt, shawl, scarf, eye patch, gloves. She hid the scars the moon would use to remind her of the monster she was. She hid the signs of the attacks she couldn't remember, didn't want to remember. She wanted to hide all of herself.

What penitence did it want from her? Was this all because she didn't stay dead or was this because she was a person that needed killing and punishment?

She had remembered getting an arrow through the chest. She had told no one, afraid of being buried alive, for she knew the arrow had pierced her heart and yet she hadn't died. She remembered it so vividly she knew it truly had happened- Someone had tried to kill her, would have killed her. She remembered the star bursting pain, her cold fingers, the wet bloody exhales as her pierced lung screamed unable to expand and contract, and the feeling of blood pouring out of her as her heart couldn't beat right. She remembered seeing the person's feet who shot her, but not their face.

But that wasn't the only time of someone trying to kill her that she remembered… She also remembered being shoved. Two people, attacking, and one of them shoving her hard off a great cliff. She remembered falling, too far from the edge to grab onto the rock. Luckily the part of splattering across the ground she didn't yet recall- but still. She had fallen from such a height, and yet here she was. Just like the arrow through the chest.

Hiiro didn't know which order these memories were… But still, a different time, someone had poisoned her. She remembered picking up a bowl of soup with a soft and innocent smile. She scooped a few bites into her mouth from five different locations in the bowl. And then she felt it. She remembered how her tongue swelled and immediate fever broke across her brow. She remembered her vision blurring and the world suddenly spilling out from under her feet. She remembered the darkness and hearing someone saying it was fatal before the memory ceased.

Three different memories of someone or multiple people trying to kill her on top of the attack she didn't remember that caused her scars and amnesia and then also the moon's torture! Hiiro wondered what a spa worker, a trader, would have done to be so ruthlessly attacked so many times. Was she a criminal? A bad person? A _monster_? Or was this all because she just didn't stay dead?

A shudder went through Hiiro's breath. Waking from her spiraling trance, she shook her head. Maybe she had left Suna so no one would know, thus being here was safe. And as long as no one realized she couldn't die- then maybe they wouldn't try to kill her so? She had written Naruto back telling him she wasn't going to stay here long, so maybe here was safe. As long as she survived the moon's torture like she did every month, maybe… maybe it'd all be okay.

She could do this.

Walking towards her bedroom door, Hiiro repeated that agony filled thought. _I can do this._ But the dread deep within her soul screamed its disagreement. Still she opened her bedroom door and walked out.

An eyebrowless forehead wrinkled at the sight of her, "you going somewhere this morning?"

His voice pulled her head up. Guilty of her death sentence, Hiiro brushed her long sleeve with her gloved hand. Then she tucked her bangs behind her ear under the hood. Her brain tried to think of what to say, but her nerves rattled away all thoughts. "I-"

Her mind churned. Should she tell him? Would he know if she was a criminal or just a monster?

Would he bury her? Try to kill her? Or would he help hide her?

Suddenly a worst thought came to mind. What if he would simply ask her to leave? Wouldn't that be what was needed? Wasn't her existence here endangering him too? But selfishly, Hiiro did not wish to go.

Stressed, her soul constricted. "I… I… I…" Her mind struggled for a reason why she was dressed like this. One that wouldn't cause her to be thrown out by him. "I….. _was _going to sit outside _after breakfast_."

His teal gaze studied her before he finally nodded. "It is a peaceful morning, but you don't need that eye patch inside."

Hiiro's eye flew from his too observant gaze. Dumbly she nodded her head, and removed the eye patch. Anxiety churned within her as her gaze sought something, anything that would help. But there was nothing to be found. Holding the small piece of cloth in her hand, she wanted to put it back on - as if hiding could save her.

"Is something wrong?" His tone caused her to find his face again. He had now turned completely towards her.

_Yes, everything_. Hiiro thought but shook her head no. "N-no. Just… Just was…. thinking of… the _outside_."

He frowned as if he didn't buy it, causing Hiiro to duck her head to avoid his stare as she walked to the table. Guilt at not telling him and then guilt at maybe risking him, and nervousness over potentially losing him and here began to make her feel down right sick.

Gaara peered at her sideways. Had something happened yesterday? The doctors had told him to be patient. They had said she would have good, bad, up and down days. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Uh. _Not… not really_." Her head went down to stare at her hands. Then, slowly as he waited, her eyes drifted up to him. He watched as she studied them, the uneasy look became just a bit more confident. "Y-You?"

"Hn. Enough." His eyes went to her clenched hands. He could see the string of the eye patch in it. Previously she hadn't been putting it on at all in the mornings, and when she took it off, it went immediately into her pocket or onto the coat hanger he got her. But now, it was almost as if she was back to that first day they had met. With an uncertain feeling over his work schedule, Gaara spoke again. "Tonight I'll have to work late."

He studied her reaction to his words carefully, but she just nodded. In fact there was a bit of relief to her face, so maybe him being away would give her time to herself that she needed? Not sure, he returned to what he did know she liked. Purposefully he picked the cup she tended to smile at the most before expertly pouring the tea into it. "Here"

Again her head nodded, but her hands did not move to warm themselves about the teacup as they always did. Instead she just stared at it, her knuckles almost white as she clutched that eye path.

"I-" Strain tightened her voice. "I think… I… I'm going back to bed." Stiffly she rose, and immediately retreated.

Stunned, he just stood there uncertain. But as she reached her door, he reacted. His sand wrapped around him and without thought, his hand pressed against her door- stopping her from opening it. Her head jerked up in surprise with the scarf hiding her expression and the hood hiding her hair. She did not speak as she stood there frozen, hand still on the knob.

Gently, he brought his other hand towards her. He dipped it under her hood. His fingers and then palm touched her forehead. She didn't feel hot… Brushing her bangs behind her ear, he then let his fingertips brush the side of her scarf covered cheek. He restrained himself from taking down her hood and scarf immediately, and held back from using a sand clone to go to the office in his stead. Instead he just stood there, studying her.

Finally he spoke. His tone low and hushed, "you don't seem to have a fever. Do you need to go to the hospital? Or medicine?"

As if guilty, her gaze rushed away from him. "I'm… I'm fine. Just… Just… this just happens. I'm… I just… I just want to rest a little more _today_."

"Okay." He made a sand bracelet onto her arm. "If you need anything, break that and I or someone will come. Alright?"

Her head nodded.

Reluctantly, he removed his hand from her door and step back. She peeked at him briefly, before escaping into her room and shutting the door firmly behind. He even heard the lock click into place, giving him a foreboding feeling. Had she learned of his past and grew afraid of him? But having interacted with many who feared him, he knew that wasn't the case. Still, something was off. Frowning, he made a note to have Kankuro check in on her.

Inside her room, Hiiro sat on the swinging hammock with stress just hammering through her. She should have told him, but she didn't want to tell him. Curling her head down into her hands, tears yet again blurred her vision.

"If you need anything, let anyone know. They'll come find me." His words penetrated the door, furthering her guilt. Was she putting him at risk? Would he hate her?

Maybe…. If she was lucky… the full moon wouldn't find her. Maybe it'd make an exception now that she was here, home. Hiiro prayed for hope but in her soul she knew it wouldn't come. The things she didn't dare remember nor wish to think about, they were haunting her… The person she used to be, some form of monster, was haunting her.

Maybe today she'd just avoid everything and hide. Then no one would know and she could better prepare herself for the torture that was about to come...

* * *

…

Hiiro skipped everything. She had opened her work book, saw the quote of the day and then immediately threw it across her bedroom. _Nothing_ would make her feel happy today unless either she or the full moon could just not exist. _Nothing_ was powerful enough to change what was about to come.

She didn't turn on music. She did not do her physical therapy exercises. When Ameno first knocked at the door she ignored it. On the third attempt, she cracked it saying she felt tired before shutting it back and locking every lock Sabaku had. From the window, Hiiro saw Asami who she was supposed to have lunch with today knock a little later. The woman was carrying a bag - but again she didn't answer. Unlike Ameno who had stayed calm, Asami yelled, a lot. She claimed to bring her soup and a movie. But again, Hiiro just folded her arms and hid her head ducking from the woman's sight. Unlike Ameno and Sabaku, she didn't even attempt an explanation or interaction.

She didn't eat. She didn't even open the fridge to see what there was to eat. On the eight knock for the day, she hid in her room with the curtains drawn and the door locked. Kankuro's voice entered through the house. His footsteps traced the living room. Her words of 'I'm fine' did nothing to deter him but luckily her statement of 'I just want to sleep a bit more' did finally gain her reprieve. He, like everyone else, left - which was for the better.

What would they all think if they knew the truth? Would they turn her in to Konoha, try to kill her, ask her to leave? Fear gripped at her soul.

As the sky began to darken, Hiiro first stayed in her room. Then she moved to the closet, hiding beneath her clothes. Even still that didn't feel safe enough. Her hands shook uncontrollably as she opened and closed doors trying to find where to be - where she might be attacked a little less, where would give her the best chance of survival, where might allow her to not cry out so loudly to not make a scene? In the hotel, she had sat under the shower, a rag in her mouth to muffle her cries, curled in pain as she suffered through the night…

Hiiro went to the bathroom, the small tub for some reason made her feel exposed. The small room made her feel trapped. As if the full moon could crawl under the door crack and come in through the mirror- Hiiro felt terrified of what was to come if she stayed there. It was too small, too little - the moon would overtake every part of it and then what!? How would she escape, how would she survive!? Vulnerable and unprotected she walked out into the living room her mind becoming more and more frazzled. Without thought she exited unto the patio.

That was worse. Her dumb self, just made everything worse.

The cacti were helpful to see, but trembling, she knew soon the full moon would be directly overhead. Here was worse. Here would be worse! Here connected her to the moon's ultimate domain: the sky where it ruled violently. Her mind creaked and swung as her breathing hitched becoming more and more shallow. Picking up a small cactus pot that made her feel comforted, her eyes welled with tears. Comfort was an illusion; this was worse than death!

Again she entered the living room, terrified. Her body shook as indecision racked her brain. Every second was bringing her closer to impending horror, but she didn't know where to go! This was worse than the hotel. In the hotel she had the choice of the room or the bathroom - making it easy, the bathroom. Here, here there were too many options, all of them wrong. Uncontrollably trembling, dirt had spilled everywhere she walked. Shivering, she felt cold and yet she needed to hurry and find where to be. Holding the little pot more carefully, Hiiro essentially hugged it.

Then she walked up the stairs, breathing heavily with each ghastly step. She stood outside his empty home office which had too many windows. The darkening sky blackened her soul. A clattering of chains with her mind made her flinch at the thought the moon would soon rise again. Without thinking, without knocking she turned and her hand opened his bedroom door. Again windows she didn't want, windows she hated, met her. Staring at the bed, a horrible feeling of being pierced down, pressed down, thousands of things upon her, violating her, raping her, slaughtering her against her will, suddenly washed through her soul. It froze her in place as if she stood at the edge of hell.

Untouchable fear hammered through her. It matched her increasing heart beat perfectly until finally the fear over took all. The moon would not be happy until she died. The moon would not be happy if she didn't feel pain. And since she couldn't die, pain was all that would be left for her. Nausea pushed up while all sense of life spilt out from her.

Overcome, Hiiro fell into a crouch and then further into a seated position. She hugged the cactus that pricked her chest and chin. She wanted to go back to the hotel where she had no choice but to hope and survive. She wanted to go back to the boat where it rocked and Kuro had held her. She wanted to go back to the beach where she could be covered in sand and again wrapped in Kuro's multiple arms. She wanted to go back to that first terrible night and walk into the ocean as she had truly desired. She wanted to go back to before she had woken up and _never wake up!_ She wanted-

His voice entered her head, _"You have here too…"_ And then what he had said on the tour also repeated itself, _"master bath - if you prefer this tube to the small one down stairs, then you can use it."_

Whole body shaking, stolen cactus in hand, Hiiro's gaze turned to the door of his bathroom. Stupid, slow, and weak, she half crawled forward. Again her hand just opened the door that went to another one of his spaces. The master bathroom with separate tub and shower were bigger. Trembling she placed the cactus on the sink. There were no windows, there was space… here she could hide. She just needed… She just needed-

She needed more things. Everything, anything, that she thought would help. She needed all she could for she was nothing against the full moon. Without thought, Hiiro hurried. She took down the pictures of Kuro from her walls and placed them against the vanity. She barely managed to get down her wave painting and placed it against the mirror. The chunky knit blanket went straight into the tub which she had filled with cold water. The fairy dust jar went on the sink with the cactus. Her tea box. Jun's letters. The candle. She kicked Jinkun and Hisa outside so that they wouldn't be subject to the same torturous fate as her. Then she locked and exited her bedroom door.

Looking about the house, Hiiro prepared. She shut his doors, pulled all the curtains, and turned all the locks - even locking the downstairs bathroom in hopes to trick the moon. With all the lights off, she retreated to hide fully knowing it was coming for her. She knew she was not going to escape its attack- its punishment and horrific torture.

She could feel it rising on the edge of the horizon. Her scars began to ache as the chained door in her mind rattled. A crushing weight began to press itself against her lungs as nightmare shadows wrapped about her throat. In the dark, dressed in what Jun had made, gloves, eye patch, shawl, hood, scarf, all covering her, Hiiro slipped into the freezing cold water. Pins and needles spiked through her as the chill rattled her teeth - but not any harsher than her body was already vibrating. Pulling the drowned knit out from under her, Hiiro placed it over her shaking frame before biting on its thick cords.

Tears again blurred her vision as things she couldn't remember, didn't want to remember, refused to remember, and assaulted her mind. The full moon was here again. It sought her. It stalked her. It taunted her. It violated, assaulted, attacked, and relentlessly tortured her. Pain raked over her as that shut door violently shook. Cracking open, it savagely shredded her soul.

Silently suffering, Hiiro slipped her head under the cold water. Shadows like tentacles were coming for her. _Death would have been merciful, but what did a moon know of mercy!?_

…

* * *

Kankuro knocked. His brother's house was dark. Hiiro hadn't been feeling well today, maybe too many planned activities the last couple weeks. While she was probably already sleeping, he purposefully knocked a little louder.

Just to make sure, he removed his keys from his pocket. The one that fit Gaara's door slid in easily. Turning the handle, he found the deadbolt had also been engaged. Unlocking that as well, he was met by the chain.

"Kami," He cursed, wondering if she locked all of this every night or just because his brother was still busy. Wiggling his fingers through he used a chakra string to detach it. Finally the door opened.

"Yumi," he walked into the dark living room. Her door was shut but a small light crept out from under the closed bathroom door as well. So not to scare her, he walked normally. "Hiiro?" He tried her other name.

Knocking on her bedroom door, he heard nothing. "Uh, Hiiro - you doing okay?"

He knocked a bit louder, hearing nothing on the other side. Turning the handle, he found that too locked. This time with picks, he managed to get it open.

"I hope you aren't nude or something. I just want to make sure you are fine, alright? You definitely will have to tell my brother that if I see something, it wasn't my fault… It'd suck to get killed by him after all these years of avoiding such a fate." He slowly opened the door. Again darkness met him. The hammock his brother had mentioned was supposed to rock by his sand whenever she slept it in, was not moving, at all.

Flicking on the light, he found it empty… In fact, she wasn't anywhere in the room at all. On top of that, the pictures he remembered on her walls were not there. The glitter jar and chunky knit blanket he picked out were also _gone_.

"Oh shit." There was no sign of a struggle, but no signs of her either. Panicked he listened, and heard nothing.

"HIIRO!?" He called out, going back to the living room. He went to the bathroom with the light on. Again it was locked. Again he picked the lock- seeing her naked or on the toilet was far better than kidnapped or dead!

Without hesitation he opened the door. A small plugged in nightlight met him. Everything else as it always was. And absolutely no Hiiro in sight.

"_Shit!" _He cursed and went back to the living room quickly turning on the lights

A dirt trail that never would have been there normally led from the middle of the living room to the patio door. Kankuro rushed to the sliding door and forced it open, breaking it. Stepping outside, he could see no sigh of a struggle under the full moon light. His head jerked right and left searching, his heart racing at the one thought that coursed through him.

Yumi had been kidnapped.

He jumped Gaara's privacy fence, and immediately called on the nearby to look for suspicious activity, especially someone fitting Yumi's description. Knowing his brother kept sand on Yumi's skin. He dashed back to the ninja main building. He took no time with the main doors and simply jumped up to the second floor, entering in through a window. Racing down the hall, he didn't even knock as he entered his brother's office.

"What is it!?" Immediately his brother's tone was dire, believing there was an attack on Suna.

"Yumi's missing." Kankuro uttered the words that sent shock across the Kazekage's face.

The shock turned to a frown and then back into calm as his hands moved. "She's in the master bedroom tub."

"_What_?" Kankuro's mind whirled. He hadn't sensed her… then again… this whole time, had he ever sensed her? The gears in his head rattled as he thought back to his every interaction with Yumi since she had returned. Not once had he sensed her or chakra within her- He only ever saw or heard her…

He remembered her room, cleared of some of her things. "Her things are missing."

The Kazekage's eyes narrowed in suspicion, "what do you mean her things are _missing_?_"_

"Her pictures of that thing, the painting you bought, the blanket and glitter jar…. There's a dirt trail from the living room out through your patio doors. All your curtains were drawn and every door locked including the empty downstairs bathroom. I have ninjas searching for suspicious activity or persons as we speak."

"Keep the ninjas on it." Panic rose through Gaara's chest as he stood. He had felt the sand on her in the tub, soaked but there. She had to be there - but had someone attacked!? "Look for an attacker, maybe-" He didn't dare finish the sentence.

Rage bubbled into his blood at the thought of someone hurting her in his own home. Shaking his head, he reminded himself that couldn't have happened. His sand protected that house- _HE protected her._

With a harsh look to his brother, he said nothing more.

Transporting, he arrived in his lit living room. It was as Kankuro had described, a light dirt trail went from the living room to the patio doors. His sand shut the door Kankuro had left open as he looked to her bedroom. Again it was as his brother described, her things missing. Tension wove itself into his spine and caged his lungs.

With disciplined steps, he walked across the room and up the stairs. His rarely shut office door was closed. Placing a hand on his bedroom door knob, he found it locked. Unease crept under his skin as a foreboding weight pressed down. Easily his sand unlocked the door.

Inside was dark, not a spec of light. Flicking the switch, he found his bed bare with pillows scattered across the floor. His curtains were not only tightly closed but his sheets and blankets all also hung there thickly covering every inch of the window. Again he moved his hands to search for the sand that was still on her skin, and again he felt it in his master bathroom, in the tub. From its weight it was soaked. His apprehensive gaze went to the closed door, there was no sign of light on the other side.

"Yumi." His hand tried the handle, finding it too was locked. But this time he did not immediately enter in. "Yumi- Hiiro."

* * *

_Blood_, Hiiro's mind twisted and screamed. _No, _she persisted back silently biting harshly onto the cords. Every part of her felt the bitter cold. Cold that was not sticky, nor warm, nor raining down her own shredded flesh. _Water._

Without a sound, she stayed below the surface. Eyes closed, her lungs struggled, but she refused to rise back up. Panic-stricken, she couldn't tell if it was the moon or because she was refusing not to breathe. Her tears and the bath merged into one. Her mind clicked and her heart pounded. Her heart beat heavily in her finger tips that clung to the blanket and her two bracelets. She wanted Sabaku, but she didn't wish for him to suffer too.

In her head, she was standing. In her head, a whip thrashed down again and again upon her back. It struck across her shoulders, ripping open her flesh. It struck through her ribcage, into her lungs. It struck across the back of her neck slicing to her spine and licking open her ear.

Hiiro whimpered silently, holding her breath. _Cold_, else she would have believed she was in a pool of her own blood. Tears pouring out of her tightly closed eyes.

The full moon's long marching shadows filled the sky and covered the ground. They were the whips that rained down. The scars all burned as if new. Her hands useless to defend. **She was useless. **Pain flashed red across her vision.

Something- her brain struggled. That iron door creaked within her.

Something- she panicked. It shuddered open and then slammed closed.

_Something- _at the edge of hell she could neither run away nor just fall in.

Her mind clicked but didn't connect. Terror controlled every part of her. Logic had long gone. If only life and breath would leave her too.

Hiiro floated to the surface. Her mouth gasped through the cords she held in her teeth. Harsh white fear scrapped into her flesh and carved its name in her bones. Her soul shuddered. Water sloshed. Crying half out into her makeshift gag, she curled. Her hands uselessly shielded her head as she ducked fruitlessly. **Pathetic. Weak. **

The rusty iron door within her clanked and creaked as chains rattled. She could hear the moon chuckling, pleased. Tears or water streamed down her face and nose.

"HIIRO!" It grabbed her. The cords she had used to keep herself silent fell from her mouth.

She threw herself back from it. "No! DON'T! STOP! PLEASE! No, no, no, no, no."

Barely escaping its clutches, her head shook as her entire body quaked in cold and fear. The mirror reflected that the door was now open. The moon was here. The moon was here. The moon that already had her by the neck and lungs, and flesh, was now here to make it even worse.

**How could it get any worse?!**

Hiiro's heart pounded. Sobs wrecked through her, her hand went to the bracelets and instinctively she sunk herself back down. Death was the only way out, if only the water would accept her. If only it'd finally let her drown!

"Don't! It's okay! You are okay!" Words that weren't the moon's, cluttered her brain as her teeth clattered.

Here." Strength pulled her up.

Her body violently shaking as water rushed away, abandoning her as everything else did. The sound of the waterfall broke her heart. Terrorized, she grabbed on to the strength that was now about her. But instead of clinging to it, she wished to rip herself away, back to the depths were she belonged.

"I got have you." A voice sounded again, its low tone drifted unanchored within the nightmare.

Her broken mind briefly cleared. _Teal_. _Sand. _Her arms went about the sand, and her head against the warmth where a steady beat softly sounded.

Except… warmth and wet was _blood_.

The nightmare rematerialized oozed agony through her scars. The moon found seeing such a sight struck out even harder. Its long arm went through the side of her head and out the other. An unremembered, not fully forgotten, sick crack resounded within her subconscious. The feeling of pain and nothingness, the sensation of wet, and hard jagged pieces splattered within her head. One of her ear drums excruciatingly hurt as the entire side of her head and neck became soaked. _Had bits of her brain fallen to the ground? _

The door slammed shut and all she couldn't remember, didn't want to remember, and never wished to remember vanished to nothing. Still the sick and terrible feeling, fear, and uselessness remained. The moon laughed. She'd never escape, she had never stood a chance.

Out of the water, she could no longer hide. Hiiro gripped the sand tighter but still she shook uncontrollably. Strength and protection, poured from nowhere onto her. The coldness was seeped out of her bones. A warm hand tried to move her head up, but she refused. That low tone again floated about, but her buzzing ears could not make it out.

Her head shook, or she shook it, or the moon made it shake. And at that thought of the full moon controlling her, fear tore out her heart. She needed to go back in the water. Cold, she'd be numb. Submerged, she'd be safe. If her breathe could be taken away, then that was even better!

A movement picked her feet up - "DON'T!" Panic seized her completely.

Immediately her feet touched the ground again, but it was too late. In her mind, she was already whipped across the sky. She hit the ground like a meteor. Her neck cracked, her spine burned, and her legs refused to respond. Her numb fingers didn't even twitch. The moon smiled before it stabbed through her lung and threw her again. Violently hitting her unsecured body back and forth, it jerked the thoughts out of her head- "It… I… It's- don't- please. I-"

Her head shook, or she shook it, or the moon made it shake. The full moon's force wrapped itself about her neck cutting off her breath. The water had been better. The water had been her choice. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe. Panicked, shallow, short, useless breathes pumped through her as the full moon squeezed. Tears exited her eyes forced out by the moon's pressure.

"Yumi! Hiiro! Breathe!"

A voice boomed through her, the sand spoke. It commanded! Inhaling, Hiiro tried to merge further into the sand, but it was too solid. But as if it knew, she needed it, the sand curled up on all sides of her. The darkness became even more dark, hiding her.

"Breathe." The command issued again and this time it was a bit easier to follow.

Hiiro's head nodded, as her body shuddered. Sand immobilized one of her arms, but she didn't care. It protected her. It comforted her. It was not the full moon bent upon her torture. A pin prick occurred on the inside of her elbow, an icy cold chilled its way into her.

Briefly, momentarily, Hiiro's mind almost calmed. The sand had been there… She knew it had been there, been there since she first woke up, before she had woken up. It had tried, it had done, it had tried to stop the moon- "Stay."

_Don't leave_. Panic immediately again filled her. Again within her head the moon attacked. Again she tried to be further in the sand. Her one arm was held securely as her other hand clutched fabric, her head buried itself against the hard warmth.

Ice crept through her veins even further but the torture had already began again.

With nothing to stop her mouth, the words just fell out. "It's attacking. It keeps attacking. It won't stop attacking."

A voice trembled. It cried out, was it hers? Her hands shook at its sound. Her legs shook. She wasn't holding herself up; sand held her. It couldn't be hers, the dead didn't talk. Bound to hell the torture continued.

"It hurts. It hurts. It won't stop. Sand's blocks but I- _I can't get away. _**The full moon. **It's the full moon!" Absolute helplessness coated the speaking voice. A voice that she could barely make out but understood. Her mind couldn't connect to who was speaking, but hearing it wrecked her heart.

_me too..._

_Me Too_

But still fear held all that she was as agony continued to chew upon her soul. The arm that could move, did. It went from around something to up to her head. Horrific lights flashed across her vision and a fuzziness began to bloom out swaying the earth itself. Was this the moon's true strength? Would it destroy the world just to hurt her?

Strength wrapped around her further. It wasn't Kuro's four arms, but it was two. Tears coated her face as her body shook, her mind trying to push out everything it could from its thoughts shook, her blood burned and prickled and froze. That rattling door in her head creaked open and slammed shut making her feel sick.

**She should have cut deeper into her own neck when she tried to kill herself last!**

Horror and agony in deep short strikes tore painfully through her flesh and bone. Her shattered spirit screamed. It withered against the endless assault. Rape, the full moon raped her mind again and again. And it snickered at the result. She a shell, held nothing. Too broken to hold anything again, her stomach churned. Her head fogged as a strange cotton and iron feeling filled her mouth. Her vision lost focus. The world itself was tilting. Sweat broke out through her skin, and then suddenly she felt cold and numb. Light turned to gray. But then she blinked and her consciousness sprung instantly back. Constantly fighting, she was not yet pulled into the void.

_But how dare she exist?_

"It's okay. It will be okay. I got you." A voice rumbled strangely through her chest and against her ear.

The sloshing of death in her mind tilted the world again. Then briefly cleared and in all directions she felt warmth and sand. Suddenly without struggle she was pulled completely under-

* * *

Gaara carefully held the unconscious Yumi. His sand cocooned around her while her limp arm still stayed about him. Part of him waited for her to pull his chakra in while the other part waited to feel the ripples that always used to occur when she slept. But neither occurred... Refusing to think in what that meant, he gently held her a bit tighter. The sight of her horrified in the freezing cold water had branded itself upon his brain.

"Finally." Fujimoto looked exhausted, her doctor coat hiding her haphazard dress. Her gray bed-head hair was poorly placed up in a clip as her glasses hiding the dark circles under her eyes.

"She should sleep soundly through the night." Saruwatari murmured adjusting the stand of the IV fluid that was now standing beside him. His coat had buttoned one off, leaving an extra button at the top and an extra hole at the bottom.

"Hn" Gaara grunted. They had placed needle after needle into the IV bag or directly into her arm as Fujimoto cursed Yumi's natural and self-induced resistances.

"We should place her in a bed-" "No, she's fine like this." He immediately interrupted the doctor.

Both Fujimoto and Satuwatari gave the Kazekage a look like they didn't know what to do with him.

Frowning, Fujimoto recovered first. "Now that she's calmed, fill us in on what happened."

With short sentences Gaara explained what he had stumbled on to. The house in its condition, Yumi in the cold tub mostly incoherent and an obvious state of panic and pain. Her words, what little she had said, exactly - though none of them were responses to his questions. He described how she hadn't heard him or even seemed to notice or recognize him. Which all stemmed down to one question- "Was she attacked? A genjutsu?"

"No- I believe she was triggered instead. Possibly reliving that night in the war." Saruwatari watched as both Fujimoto and the Kazekage's faces paled immediately. He cleared his throat to bring their spiraling thoughts back to him, "in therapy she, uh, she hasn't really touched on the subject of that night much so I thought she didn't remember it."

Gaara's hand wrapped tighter about Yumi as her head began to move, "she's waking again."

"What?" Saruwatari's face folded into disbelief whereas Fujimoto scowled.

"It's her ridiculous tolerances and immunities. We'll have to try another combination if she still hasn't settled."

"I can try a few more anti-psychotics, first, that might calm her and allow her to more easily rest…" Satuwatari also frowned, concern reflecting in his gaze.

Gaara felt her mobile hand fist and unfist his shirt. A whimper sounded under his sand as her whole body flinched once, twice, three times. Her knees jerked forward as if to run or defend. Trembles quaked down her spine. Again she started to mutter no, beg, and cry.

"**Help her.**" Frustration at his uselessness to help her ground through his bones. Purposefully he brought his arm up around her head to tuck her further into him. Although it was probably his own hope and ego, it felt like holding her close helped her. That against him, she shook and cried out a little less.

"Let's try this." Two more needles were picked up by Saruwatari.

Gaara gently retracted his sand from the arm he kept immobile. He watched as the doctor removed the IV portion and put the first needle in, then the second.

"These should help her mind, hopefully waking her from the flash back or nightmare." The taller man glanced at their Kazekage who only nodded. Once the IV was hooked back up, sand again coated her arm.

For all of two seconds she stilled before her body violently shook. "The moon! The full moon! It-it-it- AHHHHHhhhhhh!" She screamed into him, her entire body convulsing as if to duck or cower.

Anger whipped through Gaara. His gaze landed on Fujimoto and Saruwatari. Brutal, cold, and threatening did not even begin to describe it.

"Alright, place her own on the bed and turn her on her side." Fujimoto searched through vials.

"_Why_?"

The short elder medical nin frowned, "if she's eaten at all today, she's liable to throw up."

Gaara's gaze cooled, "do you think that when I squeezed the life out of my enemies that it was just blood that rained down? I don't care about something like that. For now she stays where she is, unless there's a medical need otherwise."

Death's grip tightened about Fujimoto and Saruwatari's throats, cutting off all sound. Unable to even breathe, they just nodded before rushing to prepare the next dose or series of doses that hopefully would help the frantic young woman.

Again Gaara exposed Yumi's arm that had the IV needle. Both his arms wrapped tightly about her, holding her shaking, trembling form against him.

Touching her wrist, Saruwatari checked her pulse while Fujimoto continued to select multiple vials. Carefully they removed the IV, and again tried direct injections.

"You are frowning." Their Kazekage stated the obvious.

They glanced helplessly towards him. How could they say it was because they most definitely feared that he was going to kill them? How could they put into words just how much Yumi had intentionally or unintentionally built up her drug and chemical resistances?

"Her tolerances are so high, I'm not sure even this will work. Anyone else, and I would not have done this for these doses in these mixtures would have killed them."

"Again, if we can get her partially back to some fluid thinking state, that may help too." The two debated.

Six additional needle shots went into Yumi's arm or the IV bag. Her head rolled against him, her words became jumbled, and her weight shifted entirely onto his sand. Gaara gently turned her about, careful of the IV. Bending he swooped her knees up with his other arm about her back. Earlier she had panicked at her feet being off the floor, but now she rested softly.

Until she didn't- Gaara frowned as her brows began to furrow, her lips tightened, her legs clenched against his arm. Setting his cold gaze on the doctors, he awaited their analysis.

"Um, Kazekage-" Fujimoto hesitated. "I cannot in good conscience give her anything more."

"Here, it seems she's still sleeping. So she can sleep here and we'll monitor her and make sure she does okay."

Reluctance flushed through the Kazekage especially as his sand blanketed her in his arms, causing her to turn further into him. However if something further went wrong, this was the best place for her even if he did not wish to let her go. "Alright."

Silently he walked towards the small hospital bed. With the greatest of care, he laid her softly on it. Her head fell to the side, her eyes still closed. He pulled the sheet over her as his sand receded away.

* * *

_The Full Moon_! Immediately Hiiro's entire body bolted up. Run! She needed to run! A pinch in her arm occurred, but that didn't stop her from jerking it free.

Sabaku's hands touched her shoulders. With terror buzzing through her veins, she locked onto his eyes. Clearly she saw him and instantly she knew. "We _have to run_."

Her hand grabbed his as her bare feet touched the ground. Staring into his soul with the full moon just over head, she knew - she knew she wanted to save him too. "Run, we have to run! The full moon, Gaara. RUN!"

She pulled on him. Immediately his two strong arms wrapped about her, covering her vision and pulling her into him instead. His fingers went into her hair as his sand immediately blanketed about them.

Unable to run, Hiiro's entire body shook. They were going to die. They were all going to die. There was no escape if they didn't run. The full moon was too strong; they'd never survive; he'd never survive!

Gaara held her tight, his heart beating heavily in his chest from her terror and brave filled tone. "You are safe. We are safe, Yumi. We are safe."

_No_, her head shook. "We have to run."

"It might be okay to let it play out, as long as she's kept safe-"

Gaara turned his head to study Saruwatari, narrowing his eyes in skepticism.

"-as it doesn't trigger her further."

"And how will I know what will trigger her further?" He felt himself sneer as Yumi weakly tugged on him again.

"I'm guessing seeing the full moon and being away from your sand. She woke up after it retracted off of her. And from her own words the full moon definitely is a trigger."

"It was out that night. I remember its glow illuminating that horrific sight." Fujimoto stared into space and wrapped her arms about herself as if suddenly cold. Pulling herself from her trance, she met the Kazekage's gaze. "Until we can find something better to use, it may work to play it out to a point she feels safer. With Yumi's tolerances and reactivity, having you lay her down was a mistake. Once that sand's protection was gone, her body responded. But the drugs are still there so if she _relaxes, _she may fall back asleep. We cannot give her anything more without risking her heart stopping completely-"

"Alright"

Hiiro shook under the sand. Even in its protection she knew they still needed to run. They needed to run! "We have to run!"

"Alright"

Sand peeled back from her releasing her from its entrapment though still heavily coating her skin. Her eyes meet his teal- _save him_. Her fingers squeezed his arms. "Run!"

She tugged, and he followed. Through the door, away from the windows that haunted her, Hiiro poorly ran panting heavily. Her hand held his who followed her. Shut door after shut door lined the hallway. She didn't know which way to go. Soon the full moon would find them and she was far too slow! Desperate with the world spinning and her head sloshing, she opened a door-

THE FULL MOON!

Her back slammed into Sabaku's chest as suddenly she couldn't breathe. Pain coated her arms. Agony crushed her legs. Torturously it licked her stomach with a violently pleased grin.

Sand flooded the room blocking the waxy glow and slamming the door. From nowhere a hand blocked her vision and an arm went about her waist.

"Breathe, Yumi. Breathe." A smooth low voice coaxed her left ear.

"Where do you want to go?" The voice enchanted the night itself.

Stalled and terrified, Hiiro just stood there.

"Where do you want to go?" The question repeated.

"_Home_."

The hand fell from her face and suddenly they were in their living room. Hiiro flinched, ready for the moon's attack. But there was no light. Sand blocked every window. It coated every wall. "G-g-good. Sand p-protects us."

Hiiro gripped his clothing before her hand went back to his. She needed to be strong, she couldn't let him get tortured too. Her head turning, she stared towards the stairs- their escape. "C-come"

She tugged on him. Half tripping up the stairs, she brought him along. Without knocking she opened his bedroom door. As soon as he stepped through behind her, she shut it and locked it. She then went and stuffed pillows at its edge before taking a chair to lean against it. Her whole body shook, but she forced herself to continue. She needed Sabaku to be safe too.

"Th-this way," again she pulled his hand lightly. This time into the bathroom. Again she shut and locked the door.

Turning towards the tub, she directed him, "i-in-in"

But Sabaku didn't move. He did not let her step into it either. "I-i-t will protect us… water and sand."

"It's cold." Gaara explained, worried for her health. She already shook so much, she already had been _so_ cold.

With half focused eyes, Yumi's head turned towards him. "Th-then it's not b-blood." Her gaze reflected a tortured sorrow.

Immediately he wrapped both his arms about her. Heart breaking, his sand cocooned her.

"The-full moon." Her tight fear lace voice muttered into his chest, "It will ge-get you too."

Her hands gripped him just as tightly, as Gaara stared at the tub where he had pulled her from.

"W-w-we- have-t-to get in. Sand and water will pro-protect us."

Still, Gaara did not move nor allow Yumi to.

As if she figured out what he was concerned about, her frantic gaze reached his own. Her fingers grasped the fabric of his shirt. "It-it-it-it's n-not blood."


End file.
